Dark & Cold by Ciara Attong - HTML preview

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Chapter Thirteen: Disposals

SETH SPOTS GAYA in the garden from his physician’s study on

the third storey. She’s looking as beautiful as ever –even with the

blandest palace wear of a servant.

Seth had always loved Gaya –she is, to him, the best part of

being at the palace. As lifelong friends, he had never imagined he

would be working so closely to her –such a reality caused him

only to fall for her more. Even so, however, Seth could never

bring himself to confess his feelings to her. Seth had kept quiet

about it all –he kept quiet when she cried over the man she had

ended up marrying –he kept quiet and attended to her when she

had given birth to her daughter, Avie, he had kept quiet when

Gaya lost her husband and Avie lost her father. He had kept quiet

all this time.

Seth had always wondered why he was never brave enough to

tell her the truth, but as the days draw closer to the end of the life

of the ill ruler, Seth has realised something.

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He may not have had the opportunity to ever be with her,

simply because he was meant to be brave enough to do something

else; to kill the king.

Seth never considered murder –he was never one to plot against

anyone, but from the moment his fears of the political nightmare

were confirmed he knew something had to be done to fix it, and

he knew all too well that no one would try to fix it properly.

Fixing the situation would mean people would get hurt, someone

would die, others might be accused and killed, and it would seem

like there would be chaos in not only the palace but the entire

kingdom for a very long time.

So, swallowing the truth of what he had once hoped would be

his life, Seth chooses to forget his love for Gaya, hoping to keep

her out of the mess he has already started.

Lydia, the servant of the Queen who had been assigned to pour

the vile of ‘medicine’ into the king’s tea, walks into Seth’s office.

She bows and smiles at the doctor.

“Sir,” she says, “the king requests that you would visit him

soon.”

Seth, blinking at the young girl, wonders how Queen Ericia

could possibly hire such young women to attend to the king, and

how she could rotate the workers so often.

“I will be right there,” says Seth to her. “Please do prepare us

some herbal teas. You know the one, I assume.”

“Indeed I do, Doctor,” she says, bowing.

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As Seth stands and packs his things, Lydia takes a quick glance

around the room, finding viles of medicinal supplements and

other valuable liquids. No matter how many times Lydia stares at

the vile she was given by the Queen, she cannot find a difference

from the ones in the doctor’s office. They are of the same tint,

and are covered by the same cork. They must smell as highly

concentrated as the ones she’s seeing before her. Lydia turns and

exits before Seth does hoping not to seem suspicious. When she

bends the corner, she pulls the vile from her apron pocket and

stares at it –it’s only half full now. She had already used so much

in the king’s tea. Lydia can’t help but question its contents,

though she shouldn’t, and she drops the vile back into her pocket,

hurrying to fetch the tea.

***

Henry awakes with the worst headache, sitting up on his bed

with a throbbing head, and forcing himself to his feet to drag his

body over to the bathroom. He takes as long as he possibly could

to finish having a bath, and by the end of it, while he’s changing

into his formal wear, he stares at himself in the mirror –his eyes

lacking life and almost entirely red, his cheeks flushed. He sniffles,

though he doesn’t exactly have a cold, and by the time he starts to

fix his hair, he remembers everything.

He remembers the announcement; the way May had danced; the

way he had so terribly mistaken her for Ericia; the faintish

flashback of what May had said; what had made him pull May out

of the room, push her against the wall and kiss her senselessly

thinking that she was Ericia.

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He remembers it all.

Henry feels his knees go weak for the first time in a long time.

They don’t go weak because of the alcohol; they go weak because

he is remorseful of what he had done. The weight of the wrong

suddenly pulls him and he drops to his knees in front of the

mirror, unable to breathe. His jaw is dropped, his eyes fixed

deeply within themselves through the reflection in the mirror, his

hands slightly swaying by his sides, unable to move at his will.

Henry remembers what had happened after he had kissed May,

passionately, unable to resist the temptation through the Princess’

deceit, paired with an overdose of wine.

He had taken her to his room –he had stripped her of her clothes

–he had pulled the tie from her hair and tossed her corset, her

undergarments, her accessories, mindlessly about the room –and

then he had pushed her onto the bed... and if all of that hadn’t

been horrid enough, everything thereafter had been an awful

mistake.

So where was May now? She had taken all of her clothes and

jewellery and left him in his room to remember everything –to

soak in his own misery, and soon she would remind him of the

error of his ways in a teasing, seemingly flirty manner to not only

annoy and attack him, but to further anger Queen Ericia, and to

further endorse her brother.

Henry can hear the soldiers on the ground floor, practicing,

groaning, yelling, laughing, and for a few moments all the sounds

around him shut out. He tries desperately to gather himself –to

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gather his thoughts and his emotions and toss them to the wind –

to clear his mind and return his focus to the army-related

business.

Without fail, Henry eventually convinces himself that he cannot

escape what is to come. He lifts his head, adjusts his appearance in

the standing mirror once more, and leaves his room.

***

Ericia takes a walk around the palace –she passes the kitchen,

the dining room, the pool, the gym, and walks outside and into

the garden. She can spot Rowan in the courtyard. Though he’s

being productive at his very best sport –exercise, he’s speaking

with a servant, organising a period in which he would write to his

parents. Ericia walks towards him, just as he’s pushing himself off

the floor for the last time.

“Ericia,” says Rowan, cheerfully. “My lovely, radiant Queen,

how are you today?”

“I’m quite wonderful,” says Ericia, acting flawlessly.

“I assume you heard the announcement last night,” says the

Prince, sitting on the bench nearby. “Though I was disappointed

that I hadn’t been able to locate you after our dance.”

“My sincerest apologies, good Rowan, I had returned to the

palace to see that the servants were alright. They weren’t all

enjoying the luxury of a dance, after all.”

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“Always the most considerate,” says Rowan to the Queen, in

admiration. “If you had been there during the announcement, I

would have liked you to say something for yourself. You would

have seen my sister dance as well. Her performance was intended

to be a gift for us.”

“I’m truly sorry,” Ericia says, “Forgive me. I’m sure I will have

many opportunities to see her perform in the future, however. I

am not at all worried.”

Ericia suddenly realises something; she realises that when

Rowan had inquired about her keeping her promise to him, and

asking about the bluntness of his words, Rowan had probably

believed that she would agree with anything he would say. At the

dance, Rowan hasn’t bothered to tell her what he had asked

permission from her father for. Perhaps the tone of Ericia’s voice

had misled Rowan to believe that he did not have to answer her

question –that what he had done –that the announcement he had

made –was something she was in agreement with.

“I’ve been notified that there will be a wedding soon,” Ericia

says to him. “Tell me, fairest Prince, have you begun the

preparations?”

Rowan stares at Ericia and for a few moments, he’s surprised.

He quickly changes his expression, however, to a bright smile.

“No, Madam, I’m afraid not. You have as much of a say in the

decisions as I do. I hope I can have the pleasure of planning most

of it with you.”

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Ericia remembers the dance –she remembers having her heart

ripped out of her chest at the sight of Prince Henry pressing

Princess May against the wall and kissing the life out of her. Ericia

sighs.

She would be better off marrying Rowan. At least, though

Prince Henry had told her the truth about him, she had never

actually seen Rowan commit himself to such a vulgar,

inconsiderate act, completely disregarding his betrothal to her. If

he had done what Prince Henry accuses him of, he had done it

without mention, and he had done it in private. Ericia feels as

though she would not be able to live knowing that she has seen her

husband in the act. If he is ever to do such a thing again, she

should be absent entirely from his presence.

In her anger, the idea that Prince Henry could have been lying

about Rowan also crosses her mind. She had seen Henry involving

himself in such an open manner towards the Princess of Lystotia,

but Rowan had always been outspoken; talkative, smiling and

greeting everyone. Rowan has always been the person to try to

make an effort in their betrothal, and though Rowan is nothing

compared to Henry when it comes to helping her to rule a

kingdom, he is so much more romantic than Henry. He shows

interest for the majority of situations that arise.

Ericia can’t help but feel her head go hot as she regrets having

Henry find out about her scars; find out about her past and her

present; find out about the abuse; about her father; about the

monstrous reality in which she lives. She regrets having him take

care of her –she regrets ever having interacted with him in the

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first place. He never cared about her –or perhaps his main goal

was always to seem mysterious, draw her in, and then simply

break her heart.

Either way, Ericia believes she has come to her senses. She will

marry Rowan.

“Ericia,” says Rowan, softly.

Ericia realises she’s been staring at her lap the entire time, and

she was completely unaware that her eyes were filled with tears.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Rowan,” she says, in a whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

“About what, my Queen?”

“On that night of the festival,” she says, “when you were drunk

and you... you kissed me... we kissed... you were so drunk that

you pulled me to my own room. We were about to do what every

blooming romance should, I suppose, eventually lead to... but...”

she pauses; finally meeting Rowan’s concerned eyes. “I was

scared. I have to admit it, Rowan, I was so, so scared.”

“What happened?” he asks her. “I don’t quite remember

everything about that night.”

Ericia stares ahead, ashamed, “We were in my room, headed to

my bed. You had stripped some of my clothes and tossed me to

the mattress. It hurt my back a bit, and I snapped out of the

moment we were having. After that, I could not return to the

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mood I’d been in with you, but you, in your drunken state,

wanted to continue. I was scared, because I had not given consent

to you to enter into such an activity with me, but you only wanted

to proceed, and so... I... I hit you... I hit you so hard that you

knocked out.”

Ericia begins to cry, unable to stare at her betrothed.

Rowan watches her cry, slowing a hand towards her back and

caressing it, hoping to comfort her.

“It’s okay, Ericia,” he says, softly. “I... I should be the one

who’s sorry. I must offer you my sincerest apologies. I... it was

never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable... or... afraid

in any way. I... I’ve made a grave mistake.”

“I understand that you were drunk, Rowan,” Ericia says,

sniffling, “you weren’t yourself at the time.” She turns to him. “I

understand, so I chose to forget about it... but... I really was...

terrified.”

Rowan stares at the Queen, sadness filling his eyes. The truth is

Rowan remembered a lot of what had happened that night. He

had remembered getting drunk, and kissing Ericia, but had lost all

memory of what had happened moment before she knocked him

out cold. He couldn’t remember her screaming. He couldn’t

remember the pain she was going through, and he couldn’t

remember seeing any blood.

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Even now, Rowan can’t see any blood. Ericia continues to wear

long sleeved tops and long dresses whenever she’s not heading to

bed. She continues to appear as the most modest of women.

Rowan turns Ericia by her shoulders to face him. “Listen to me,”

he says, as she tries to stop crying. He wipes a falling tear from

her cheek. “If you ever feel uncomfortable, you have to let me

know immediately. Do you understand?”

She takes a few moments, staring into his eyes, and nods.

“And,” he adds, “I will always remember to ask you for your

consent. I swear on my life.”

Ericia wipes her own tears away this time. She nods again,

trying to smile.

“We are going to make this work,” he says, offering her a

comforting, encouraging smile. “Alright?”

Ericia nods again, smiling along with him, and he pulls her in for

a hug. She hugs him back, gently.

In his arms, he smells like perfume and sweat; the tinge of the

sour odour tickling her nose is something Ericia never thought she

would be attracted to, but suddenly she’s hoping to stay in his

arms for a long time; perhaps forever.

***

May walks around the palace, gathering flowers into a basket

which she will then pluck the petals from and create a beautiful

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picture using them as the main material. She intends to create a

piece which will be a gift to the soon-to-be-weds as a memory of

the Flower Festival. Despite her disapproval of Ericia, she would

much prefer the predetermined wedding to happen smoothly than

for Prince Henry to be swept up into Ericia’s tide.

On her quest, she spots Henry, heading out of the field, into the

courtyard, and soon enough, towards her.

Before he could pass her, she blocks him.

“Your Highness,” she says, with a smirk.

Henry doesn’t react. He stares at her. He doesn’t smile. He

doesn’t scoff. He doesn’t shift on his feet. He shoves his hands

into his pockets and lets out a quick exhale through his nostrils.

“Princess May,” he says, lowly. He bows quickly, hoping to

head away from her. She blocks him again. “I really must be off. I

have a lot of work to do,” he says.

“You have a lot of avoiding to do,” she corrects him. “You’re

ignoring me.” She pouts.

“I would not be, had you any ounce of shame.”

“Me?” she asks in disbelief, “forgive me, Henry, but you were

the one who couldn’t resist kissing me.”

“What happened last night,” he tells her, “was a mistake -which

I intend never to repeat.”

“Clearly,” says May, rolling her eyes. “I know that already.”

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“What?” he asks, confused.

“You’re always making bloody mistakes, Henry,” says May,

“and quite foolish ones, but I’m always going to be around,

whether you like it or not.”

“What are you talking about, May?” he asks, frustrated.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” May asks. “I know that when you

used to visit Lystotia so often that both you and Rowan were in

love with the same pathetic little servant girl. I was the one who

asked Rowan to get her pregnant,” she admits, “because I was

infatuated by you, and I must confess, Prince Henry, that I still am

quite attracted to you. I won’t fail to admit it anymore.”

“Are you telling me,” Henry asks, coming to the realisation,

“that she...that... Agatha was pregnant and killed by your barbaric

brother, not to mention practically shoved into a deep hole at the

side of a snowy mountain, all because of your foolish emotions?”

There is anger in Henry’s voice as he realises this. “You are a

relentless monster to which no nightmare can be compared.”

“I will do everything in my power to call you mine,” says May.

“But I do have to admit that had you not called out her name last

night, I would feel better about myself.”

It takes Henry a moment to realise what May is implying. When

he understands, he goes even more tense. His shoulders stiffen, he

stands straighter.

Yes; Henry had called out Ericia’s name in the midst of May’s

intimate company.

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This only worsens Henry’s fear and rage.

“I cannot believe,” he says, trying to change the topic, “that you

were behind it.”

“Yes,” says May, confidently, “your precious girlfriend –or

should I say that whore who shared herself with both my brother

and you, died because of me.”

“I had never even touched her!” argues Henry. “You are a

greedy, selfish, egocentric-”

“- I am doing what I think is best for me,” May interjects.

Prince Henry stares at her. How could he forgive her for such a

crime? The woman May thinks he had been having a romantic

affair with was merely a friend –though he was beginning to love

her. He had never held her hand with the intention of doing so,

nor had he confessed his love. He hadn’t done anything to woo

her. He had simply taken her up as his companion during his stay

at the Lystotian castle. It was Rowan who had gutted her –Rowan

who had ruined her life with pregnancy –Rowan who had her

removed from the castle and disowned by her family –Rowan who

had killed her and buried her himself. It was all Rowan.

Another innocent life, Henry thinks, feeling his heart sink as low

as it had when he had heard of her death, abused and destroyed

because of the wrongdoings of others who believe they are better

than others.

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“Thank you,” Henry says, out of breath, to the Princess, “for

being so honest about the error of your ways. I wish to no longer

continue this discussion.”

Henry leaves May, standing in the middle of the walkway. He

disappears into the palace and looks for a corner that’s empty.

When he finds one, his back hits the wall, and he drags himself to

the floor, sits, and cries.

***

There is silence in the King’s study as Charles addresses the

court members, the Princess, the Princes, and the Queen about

plans for development in the kingdom. He introduces a light

discussion on the budget which will be organised in nearing times

to come and speaks on the matter of the rebels who had interfered

with the Flower Festival celebrations in the Hyre Village.

Ericia listens attentively, hoping that her father would not

decide to execute them. From the way the king is discussing the

upcoming decisions to be made by the court, and the changes in

law that he intends to make, it is almost clear and entirely

terrifying for Ericia to imagine that her father might do just that.

After this discussion, Prince Rowan steps forward, and begins to

discuss his ideas for the wedding. Ericia is able to pitch her own

ideas in during this session.

The wedding, though grand, will be private. This, the court

agrees, is an excellent idea, since everyone knows that with the

adjustment of Ericia as Queen, there has been a bit of chaos in the

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kingdom. Though some of the kingdom will be celebrating the

wedding, others will be rebelling against the alliances, causing

riots, having protests, and there is a high probability that there

will be violence. The king believes that these rioting individuals

simply seek to ruin the order of things. He has no consideration

for their needs; he does not voice this to the court, but he implies

it well enough.

Rowan believes that the wedding should take place at the largest

Chapel in the Hyre Village; the Chapel of Hope. Ericia agrees to

this idea. She had been there many times before, and it is the

Chapel she is most comfortable with.

By the end of the meeting, it is decided that preparations for the

wedding are to be made at once, and that as soon as all of it is

organised, the wedding will happen.

Outside of the King’s Study, Prince Henry slugs slowly behind

Rowan and Ericia. May bumps into Henry on her way past

everyone, in a hurry to get nowhere in particular. Rowan and

Ericia are chatting about something that Henry couldn’t care less

about hearing, but when he finds Ericia’s arm entangling into

Rowan’s as they continue to walk as the couple they are, Rowan

says something and offers Ericia a quirky smile, and she laughs,

outrageously genuine.

They’re gone before Henry can understand his own grief.

They’re gone before he forgets where he was ever supposed to

be.