David by Raymond Hopkins - HTML preview

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CHAPTER 18

 

A solitary man walked slowly through the streets of a southern English seaside town. He was clearly deep in thought, yet not so lost in imagination that he failed to notice the slight figure of a young woman sat on the step of what had been a small yard in front of an old house where the yard met the pavement. He noticed without really registering the fact. There were many such figures in this town and he felt sorry for all of them.

’Excuse me.’

The man walked on, hardly hearing.

’Excuse me. Could you help me?’

He turned back, half unwillingly, though without irritation.

’I beg your pardon.’

’Could you help me, please?  I have no home. I’ve been out all night.’

She would have said more, but the man knelt down before her, fumbling for his wallet, then passing over a note and a handful of loose change without bothering to see how much he had given. Her hands were thin and pale, reminding him of a statue he had once seen in a Florentine church.

’Are you sure?’ she asked, looking at the amount with an expression bordering on disbelief.

’This town is full of people like you,’ said the man, in a grim, yet not unfriendly voice. ’It’s a disgrace. I wish I could do more to help.’

She lifted her face to his, holding out her hand, eyes filling with tears of gratitude. He clasped her hand in his own, noting how cold it was, and stared down at the upturned face.

’Good God, girl, how old are you?’

There was no answer except for the sounds of crying. He glanced around helplessly for a moment, then came to a sudden decision. This was a problem too big for an individual to solve, but one at least he could help, even if he hadn’t been born in Samaria.

’When did you last eat?’

Again there was no answer. He sat on the pavement beside her, putting a steadying hand on her shoulder. ’All right,’ he said. ’Take your time. Whenever you’re ready. I’m in no hurry.’

’I don’t know. Yesterday. The day before,’ she said between sobs.

’Come with me,’ he said gently, pulling her to her feet. ’There’s a restaurant just across the square, maybe three hundred yards away. Can you walk that far?  And don’t worry. I’m paying.’

’But...’

’Eat first. Then we’ll talk.’

For a while they walked side by side with a respectable distance in between, but before long, he reached out a hand to steady her erratic way of walking. Instantly she stiffened with fear, then relaxed slightly as she realised he meant no harm and allowed him to support her. He could feel a steady trembling through the thin material of her coat, a trembling that was not entirely due to her natural wariness.

The restaurant was dimly lit, giving it a cosy atmosphere. There were few customers at that time of the evening, and they were shown to a corner table at the back, well away from anyone else. It offered a welcome warmth after the chill outside. David sat with his back to the corner, the left side of his face to the wall.

He studied the woman as she worked her way through the meal. Young, he thought. Definitely too young to be out on the streets, though clearly rather older than first appearances suggested. Mid to late twenties perhaps. Maybe even older. It was hard to say. Slim, delicate features under the slight grime hid her real age quite well. Probably fairly attractive when cleaned up and dressed properly. In fact, quite good looking, he decided as he considered the matter further. Jet black hair which would likely be glossy when washed properly and large, dark brown eyes made a pleasant combination. Was she on the game?  No, on reflection, it wasn’t likely. At least there had been no suggestion of that. Not that he prided himself on a deep knowledge of human behaviour. On the contrary, he was rather naive, considering his age. Constant experience of his fellow man had not hardened him, but had rather accentuated his natural compassion. Just the same, he was aware of the possible dangers of picking up a young woman. Well, he thought, with a mental shrug, maybe I am being taken for a ride. It won’t be the first time. But somehow, this one seemed genuine. Genuinely hungry at any rate. There’s one good deed done in the day. Must be worth at least ten points, or a few dozen years off his time in purgatory. At least it was an indication that her erratic walking wasn’t due to drugs, but rather to weakness from hunger.

Finishing her meal, she glanced up, then turned her face down towards her empty plate.

’Thank you,’ she whispered, so quietly that he could barely pick out what she had said.

She looked scared. No wonder, he thought. If she is genuine, which I think she is, then she must be wondering what payment is going to be demanded. He wasn’t so credulous as to believe that men normally bought meals for young women without expecting some recompense.

’If it puts your mind at rest,’ he said, ’the only thing I expect to pick up here is the bill. You are at perfect liberty to leave whenever you choose. Of course, you have only my word for that, but I think you can see that I’m not likely to start any funny business in a restaurant. It would be rather noticeable, wouldn’t it?  I mean, the staff would probably have something to say, such as this is one of the services they do not provide for their customers.’

She looked up again, her face relaxing as she realised the truth of his words.

’All right,’ he said. ’You are homeless. You needn’t tell me more than that. It’s none of my business, after all. If you would like to talk though, I’m not a bad listener, and perhaps I can do something to help. And don’t look so concerned. I’m not in the habit of assaulting young women I’ve just bought a meal for, or women of any age for that matter, whether I’ve bought a meal for them or not. My name’s David, by the way. David Howard. I like people to call me sir, but it’s never going to happen, so David is fine.’

’I hardly know where to start.’

’Begin at the beginning, go on to the end. It’s not terribly original, but still good advice. All the best authors use that system, with the exception of one or two modern ones I can never understand.’

She smiled faintly, but with a trace of warmth, lighting up her features with a further attractiveness that had been hidden.

’Well, I’m homeless, as I said. At least, I have a home, but it became impossible to continue living there. The details aren’t particularly pleasant. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear them.’

’I always say I have no illusions left about the human race. It isn’t true, but at least I don’t shock very easily. If you think it would help to talk about it, I’m ready to listen.’

There was a silence, as she looked carefully at him.

‘Sometimes it’s a bit easier to talk to strangers,’ he prompted her.

’Yes, you may be right. Well, don’t say you weren’t warned.’  She paused, collecting her thoughts together, wondering why she should unburden herself so easily. ’You see, where fairy tales tell you about wicked stepmothers, I had a stepfather. Oh, I don’t claim he was wicked, at least not at first, but we never really got along together. I was only fourteen when my mother remarried, you understand. A bad age for that, I suppose, and maybe I didn’t try as hard as I might have done. There are other reasons too, but I don’t think I want to talk about those. Anyway, I tolerated him until the day I found him in my bedroom going through my clothes. There was quite a scene, but nothing got settled about the matter. My mother was really ineffectual as she usually is, and didn’t want to know. Shortly afterwards, he began to make suggestions of a really vile nature, and a few weeks ago he forced the lock on my bedroom door and tried to climb into bed with me.’

David grimaced. ’Not very pleasant.’

’No.’

’So you left?’

She nodded. ’Not before I put my foot between his legs as hard as I could.’

’Good for you. I hope it hurt.’

’He was writhing on the floor when I left, but I didn’t stop to enquire how he felt. Then I packed a few things and came away. The trouble was, I had very little money, and now it’s all gone. I don’t have a job, you see.’

’Surely you haven’t been living on the streets for several weeks?’

’No, only the one night, which is quite long enough. At first, I got into a series of boarding houses. They were cheap, increasingly so, but even then money doesn’t go very far. I stayed a week in my last one without paying, but then I was put out and my bag kept until I settled the bill.’

’So it’s the street again for you tonight?’

’Yes,’ she said, very quietly, without looking at him.

’Where you will likely get propositioned.’

’I was propositioned three times last night. Two were reasonably polite about it. The other asked straight out in language I prefer not to use, how much I charged.’

David lifted his eyebrows as he considered the point. ’There’s no real answer to that, is there?’ he said. ’Whatever you say is liable to be misconstrued. The street is no place for you.’

’It’s all I can do.’

’No,’ said David. ’I think we can do better than that. Look, my hotel is fairly close by, and I know it has vacancies. It also has a guest lounge where we can talk.’

’I don’t mind talking here,’ she said, looking around in apprehension.

’The waitress is looking at us. I think she would like to clear the table and have the bill paid. Besides, my hotel is a sight more comfortable. See here, I can promise you one night’s accommodation at any rate. In a room of your own, since this is not a proposition I’m making you. Tomorrow we’ll get your bag back, then we shall have to see what to do next.’

She looked at the man before her with uncertainty.

’Why are you doing all this?  You don’t have to. I’m a total stranger after all.’ 

’I don’t know. Come to the hotel while I think up an answer,’ he said.

A cold, blustery wind blew scraps of litter around their ankles as they made their way along the sea front, passing the long closed aquarium, and turning into a wide, tree lined road which contained several small hotels and guest houses. A stray dog followed them briefly, sniffing at everything in sight before finding something more interesting and trotting away up a narrow side street. Raucous noises blared from the pier loudspeakers, although there were few visitors to attract so early in the season. White capped waves fell across the beach, moving the shingle with a semi-musical sound. Small spots of rain began to fall, whipping across their faces with an unpleasant hint of a storm to come.

’You don’t know much about hotels,’ she said. ’They won’t give me a room when I have no luggage.’

’You don’t know much about me,’ he returned. ’I have a silver tongue. And I’m old and therefore respectable. Leave it to me and I’ll explain in terms that even a hotelier can understand. Besides, I’ll pay cash in advance. That’s always a good argument. Incidentally, may I ask your name?’

’Alison. Alison Brown.’

’Useful to know if I’m about to introduce you as an old friend. Or to be more precise, let me see, yes, as the daughter of an old friend. I ran across you when you were trying to explain to the railway company how your bag had disappeared from the carriage you were travelling in. Not that there was much in it, just a few clothes and toilet gear, but you can’t buy replacements until you get money from the bank tomorrow. So until you get it all sorted out, I’m bringing you here for tonight at least. Good story, do you think?’

Her eyes opened wide. ’It sounds perfect. I’m sure if I owned a hotel I would believe it. Especially if being paid in advance.’

The hotel was comfortable. A gas fire was lit in the lounge where David and Alison sat, the only guests so early in the year. She had already showered and felt reasonably human and almost relaxed again. Although her clothes were not the cleanest possible, they were passable if no-one looked too closely. Rain fell steadily, drenching streets and buildings. Alison shivered slightly in spite of the warmth of the room, glad not to have to be outside. Winter had long since gone, but it didn’t feel much warmer. A wooden tray with rose patterned teacups and a fat brown teapot stood on a small table beside them at the far end of the sofa they sat on.

’You still haven’t told me why you are doing all this for me,’ said Alison.

David grinned at her. ’I still don’t know. Yes I do.’  His voice took on a bantering tone, becoming slightly sombre as he continued. ’If I was married and  had a daughter, she might be just about your age, and I’d like to think that someone would help her if she ever fell on bad times. That’s one reason. Perhaps the major one. Besides, in my long and none too illustrious life I’ve been faced with problems just like everybody else. No imagination, you see, again just like everybody else. Apart from telling tall stories to hoteliers, that is. Perhaps surprisingly, there has always been someone around to help. Occasionally I’ve needed that help badly, very badly, and it has always been given freely and unstintingly. People are kind, you know. I’ve tried to pay back in some way, but somehow the debt always seems to grow. All I can really do is to pass on the help to someone else. This time you are the chosen one. Call it a Christian ideal if you like, though I’m not sure just how much of a Christian I am, probably not a very good one, even if the idea does come from the Bible in the first place. Perhaps you know the quotation, the one that says, ”Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?  And when did we see a stranger, and welcome thee?”.’

She nodded. ’Yes. I know that one, and the answer, too.’

’Of course, the idea is not restricted to the Bible. It can be found in many places. We are all responsible for each other, you see, and there’s no getting over that, whatever the more raucous and selfish elements of society might want us to believe. Luckily, most people don’t believe it.’

David felt the girl’s slender fingers resting lightly on top of his hand. She was still icy cold, a coldness that could almost burn a man. His mind flickered briefly to a burning car before he dragged it back to the present.

’That’s a lovely thought, David.’

’All done for selfish reasons, you understand. I’m trying to get rid of my guilt feelings.’

Alison nodded. ’Somehow I can understand. But how do I get rid of my own feelings of guilt?’

’Ah,’ said David. ’It’s not so easy, is it?  However, I think I may have found an answer to your problem. Let me see if I have your story right. You still have nowhere to live, of course. That’s obvious. You’re unemployed and need a job, which is difficult to find unless you have a permanent address. You can’t get a permanent address until you have money enough to pay for it, and you won’t have enough money before you find work.’

’It’s a vicious circle,’ said Alison wearily. ’I don’t know what to do.’

’You have no friends?  No relations?’

She shook her head, hair moving in a fluid motion around her shoulders.

’You don’t have friends when you are homeless. That becomes obvious very quickly, though I have no real friends anyway, never did. I left my closest relations for good reasons. Oh, there are others, but they have problems enough of their own. I can’t really inflict myself upon them. Besides, they all live within walking distance of my mother’s house. I can’t go back there, not unless I accept the possibility, no, the certainty of rape.’

’Not much of an option, I can see,’ said David thoughtfully. ’Still, I do have a possible solution. Tell me, how much do you care for plain speaking?’

’Well, I don’t mind things being wrapped up a bit, but not at the expense of misunderstandings.’

’Good. Then would you listen to what I have to suggest, keeping any comments or questions until I’ve finished?  I promise you there’s nothing devious about my suggestion. It will mean exactly what I say and nothing more, even if we are on hand holding terms without a proper introduction.’  He smiled at her.

Alison flushed slightly, but made no effort to remove her hand.

’All right, I’ll listen.’

’Basically, my suggestion is this, that you come and live with me...’

He broke off in response to her gasp, noting the sudden widening of the eyes, and the reddening of her features. She withdrew her hand and shrank back into the sofa, looking at the man with a mixture of fear and exasperation. Inconsequentially the thought crossed his mind that her eyes were truly beautiful.

His face wrinkled in an expression of annoyance. ’I’m sorry, that’s very badly put, although I hadn’t quite finished. I’m not suggesting you come as my mistress, far from it, but rather as a housekeeper, and only a housekeeper, or at most as a housekeeper cum secretary. You see, I live in a large house which I like and have no intention of giving up, even though it’s really too much to manage properly on my own. It always has been. Quite frankly, at my age, it’s more than I want to manage and I have to confess that I tend to let things slip when it comes to cleaning. It’s not actually unhygienic, at least not from the male change the socks every six weeks whether they need it or not viewpoint, but it does require the sort of regular maintenance that I never seem to have the time or especially the energy to offer. I used to get a cleaning woman in from the village, but she’s retired now, and it seems impossible to get a replacement. It’s not the sort of work that most people seem to want.’

He looked at her steadily, noting that she had begun to relax again.

’I really do require a housekeeper,’ he said, ‘and while I don’t need people around in the normal course of events, I have to admit it can sometimes be a bit of a lonely life. I don’t mind solitude. In fact, I like it, I have reasons to like it, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to occasionally. And to have someone to deal with routine jobs and paperwork. More reasons why I am offering to help you. Selfish, as I said. You can take your pick, they’re probably all true to some extent. Now I can’t describe myself as rich enough to pay off the National Debt, but certainly comfortably off. Nowadays I’m a writer, reasonably successful in my own little way, though you won’t have heard of me, I’m sure, as I specialise in technical works for the computer world, although I do have a couple of light novels to my credit. That’s why I’m here, in fact, researching for a third literary masterpiece. I say a third, in the full knowledge that the Nobel prize for literature will pass me by this year again. You would be paid - I don’t know how much - that’s open to discussion, but it would be adequate, I promise. In addition,  you would have your meals and accommodation, as well as any travel expenses in the event that I want you to keep me company elsewhere. I should stress that you would have your own room with as many locks and bolts on the door as you wish to have. There would be nothing else than keeping house, minor secretarial duties, so as to give me more time for writing, and a degree of purely platonic companionship. As rape is the last thing on my mind, or to be more precise, not on my mind at all, your virtue would be unassailed. If I want my bed warming, I have an electric blanket for that purpose. It’s quite a good one, as it should be for what I paid for it. You would be quite safe, although again, you can only take what I tell you on trust.’

For a long moment they looked at each other steadily. Alison broke the silence.

’I’d be a fool to turn it down, wouldn’t I?’

He shrugged. ’You might be doing a foolish thing to accept. But it has to be your decision. At least you have a choice, which is something you didn’t appear to have not too long ago. I’m not entitled to press you either way.’

’And if I refuse?’

’Then I give you some money in the morning, enough for a few days, and wish you every luck in the world. It’ll do nothing for my guilt feelings, though. Think about it, there’s no need to answer straight away, though I would like your decision by morning, as I would like to be getting home then. My research is finished, or at least as finished as it is ever likely to be and I’m bursting with ideas to get down on paper just as soon as I can shake the laziness out of my body. That’s no easy task, either.’

’I can give you an answer right now. I’ll come,’ said Alison, a little  unsteadily. ’I have nothing to lose. Anything’s better than sleeping rough.’

’Anything?’ said David. ‘Consider carefully. There’s just one more thing. I don’t live in this area. Being something of an asocial creature, my home is on the northern moors, in an old farmhouse, a long way from anywhere. The house has many of the usual modern conveniences, but is still a bit primitive in some ways. The nearest shop is over a mile away for instance. The winters can be cold and dark.’

’It was cold and dark here last night. I never want to go through that again. I see no reason against going to the north rather than anywhere else. I come from there originally, anyway. How are you travelling?  By car?’

’Partly by train and partly by bus, though on this occasion I think we might do the last stretch by taxi. I do have a car, but I’m not using it this trip. It’s a bit further than I care to drive on my own, especially at this time of the year when it’s dark and wet. Now I’ll buy you a return ticket so you can travel back here, or anywhere else you prefer, any time it pleases you. It would be a sort of escape route for you if you find the prospect doesn’t please after all, or if you find I’ve been telling you lies all along and that my only intention is to get you into my bed.’

Alison shook her head.

’David, if that was all that was in your mind, I would have thought you were spending a lot more than strictly necessary. No, I’ve trusted you this far, I think I can trust you a bit further. After all, you’re having to take me on trust as well. I’m very conscious of that.’  She hesitated, then continued, the words pouring out of her with a rush. ’While I’m at it, and as we seem to be speaking plainly, I’ll just say that when I was propositioned last night, I was horrified, but then I hadn’t been out all night before, with every prospect of being out all night again, for the rest of the foreseeable future. When you came along, I thought you looked to be kind, and I dared to ask for help, even at the risk of a price to be paid for it.’

’Meaning?’

’Meaning that during the night I had had plenty of time to think about things. I have no idea what a proper charge would have been for the services I was asked to give, but I reckoned that three or four encounters would probably have seen me comfortable for a week at least. Are you shocked?’

David shook his head. ’No, the thought is a natural one. However undesirable it may be, I suppose it’s always an option for a woman, especially a young and attractive one like yourself. And you didn’t do it anyway.’

’No, I didn’t. The very thought makes me feel disgusted. But I picked on you because you seemed to be respectable, and because if I had to... well... offer myself, I thought I would rather do so with someone of your type than with the others who approached me. They were all drunk and objectionably dirty. Even though I’m not so clean myself at the moment, my ego hasn’t sunk so low that I’m prepared to sell myself as cheaply as that. At least, not yet, although I’m painfully aware that it could happen.’  She gave a short, mirthless laugh. ‘It would be in the family tradition, after all. Are you still sure you want me to come with you?’

’Why not?  You’re no prostitute.’

’No, but it was a close run thing.’

The man shook his head slowly.

’Not with me, it wasn’t. I tell you, Alison, you were never in any danger of, to use your own words, having to offer yourself for my benefit. I have never forced my attentions upon any woman, and it’s not likely that I would want to start now. On the contrary, I’ve always considered that sex is one of the ways in which a couple fulfil their love for each other, and that applies whether they are married or not. I see no reason to change that view, just because I’m an elderly bachelor, and an attractive young girl admits she would have been submissive if pressed. However tempting the thought might have been, and I’m admitting nothing either way, having sex without love would be like doing it to a piece of meat. For some men, any aperture will do, to put it crudely, but I can’t see it like that. My apologies for the pomposity.’

Alison smiled with real warmth for the first time. ’It wasn’t pompous, and even if it was, I’m glad to hear it. You sound as though you really mean it. Accepting your offer is even easier now. As I said, I have nothing to lose, except my virtue, which I was getting ready to dispense with anyway, out of sheer necessity. Even if there is a risk of that in your home, it can’t be any greater than the risk out there on the street. As it is, it seems as though I won’t need to spend every waking hour fighting you off, and that’s a comforting thought.’

’If you can believe me.’

’Choices are a bit limited, but I think I can. If sex was the only thing you wanted, you could take me to your room for the night for much less than you anticipate paying for my services as a housekeeper, probably less even than the cost of my room here which you’ve been kind enough to pay. I may then have some money in hand, but I’d still be on the streets within a day or two. It doesn’t really solve the problem, even though it goes  some way towards it.’

’You mean that even now you would be, shall I say, amenable?’

She hesitated, face registering doubt. ’I’m not sure that’s a question I want to answer.’

She hesitated again, her eyes flickering from side to side. ’If I have to. If there is no other choice.’

’You have a choice, believe me. A very real choice. But you don’t want to sell yourself for money.’

’I don’t want to sell myself at all. I’m not even sure I could have gone through with it last night, even if I first agreed to do so, and you can imagine what that might have led to.’

’You might like to consider that I may take what I want from you and then put you out without payment of any sort. As I said, my house is a long way from anywhere, and no-one would hear you, even if you screamed the place down. Being homeless on the moors is even less of a joke than being homeless here on the streets.’

A third time she hesitated, then said, ’I’m prepared to take the risk. If nothing else, I would only have to fight against one at a time. It’s not like being on the streets, facing the dangers of multiple rape by absolute strangers, as though knowing them would make it any better. In any case, you already explained your attitudes towards casual sex.’  She gave a wry smile. ’I don’t think I would care to accompany you to your room and put it to the test, but somehow I think I can believe you.’

’Very well. We’ll go further into it in the morning. In the meantime, young lady, it’s bedtime, at least for an old man. And I do mean alone.’

Alison mounted the stairs to her room, mind in a turmoil. Could everything really be as easy as this seemed to be?  She locked the door firmly from the inside and leaned against it, surveying the contents of the room. There wasn’t much, but it looked comfortable, and certainly better furnished than her previous boarding house. Much better than her most recent accommodation, she thought, ruefully. A single bed. A small writing table containing three drawers, and covered with a brightly embroidered cloth, on top of which stood a vase of fresh flowers. A bedside lamp. One upholstered chair with wooden arms and a second, lightly padded kitchen type chair underneath the table. A kettle, together with a collection of jars containing tea, coffee, cocoa, milk and sugar. A colour television on a low cabinet. A radiator on the wall, blasting out welcome, almost excessive  heat. She had turned the thermostat up high earlier. A chest of drawers next to a wardrobe completed the fittings. No, not quite. There was a shower en suite. Of course, she had used it already, and would do so again before leaving in the morning. She undressed slowly and snuggled into bed, turning off the light and thinking of the man who had brought her to the hotel. He seemed to be really pleasant. Even more, he seemed to be really genuine. Alison had had little experience of men who could perform kindnesses for their own sake, without considering how they might be rewarded, but she thought that David might well be one of them. She hoped so. If not, well that was a problem she would face when the time came. At worst, it would be a problem she could probably face in relative comfort, and she would have some time to take stock of the situation. She drifted off to sleep, still afraid, but more relaxed than she had been for some time.

Morning arrived. Alison awoke with a slight feeling of disorientation, then remembered where she was and how she had come to be there. She lay awhile in bed, reluctant to rise, luxuriating in the feel of clean sheets and warm conditions. Wondering how late it was, she threw off the covers and crossed the floor to the shower, revelling in the sensation of hot water against her skin. She dressed quickly, then opened the curtains and looked out, inspecting the view. A pale, watery sun tried fitfully to break through the slate grey clouds scudding rapidly across the sky. Clearly it had been raining heavily for much of the night. Although the radiator was warm, she could feel the cold trying to gain entrance through the tightly sealed window. She shivered involuntarily at the thought of being outside all night