15. STUDYING
FINALS WERE WAY WORSE than midterms, Leesa quickly discovered. Not only was there twice as much material to study and remember, but the exams counted as a much bigger portion of the final grade, making the pressure that much greater. Everyone in the dorm was feeling it—everyone but Stacie, that was. Stacie was a brainiac who never studied past eleven o’clock and still got nothing but A’s. She was always smiling and energetic, when glassy stares and dragging gaits had become the norm.
If Leesa had the time, she was sure she could make some decent money simply by recycling the piles of energy drink cans that kept the big trash bin outside the dorm overflowing. She could make a few bucks just from the cans she and Cali were going through.
But, alas, there was little time for anything but studying, eating and sleeping—and little enough for the latter two. She couldn’t believe she would have to go through this hell seven more times before she graduated. She sure hoped it got easier with experience.
She did most of her studying in her room, but went to the library for an hour or two every day, just for a break in the routine. The library was also a great place to be reminded that lots of kids were even more stressed out about finals than she was. Some looked like they hadn’t slept—or showered—in days.
Leesa took a couple of short walk breaks every day to clear her head and stretch her muscles. Sometimes she dragged Cali, Stacie or Caitlin along, other times she went alone. She seldom went far, usually just wandering about the area near the dorm. The weather remained cold, but luckily it was clear. She wasn’t sure how she would handle it if it snowed or sleeted. Her walk breaks were pretty much the only thing keeping her sane.
She was fairly sure she had done well on her first three finals, but the dreaded physics exam was looming tomorrow. It promised to be the toughest by far, so she wasn’t planning on getting much sleep tonight, if any. Complex equations and theorems flitted around inside her head like bees buzzing around a hive. She just hoped she would be able to tame the little pests when she sat down to take the test.
She wasn’t the only one feeling the stress. Girls wandered the halls of the dorm like lost souls, wearing no makeup, their eyes swollen and bloodshot. If zombies truly did exist, Leesa thought, they could hide out pretty well in any dorm on campus during finals week. She was scared to look in a mirror, afraid she would see something very similar staring back at her.
Yellow light leaked under doors and soft music filtered through the walls at all hours of the night as many kids pull all-nighters. Leesa had been up until the early hours twice already this week—but tonight was going to make those nights seem like nothing. It was nearly two o’clock now, and she was still at her desk, pouring over her physics textbook. With plenty more still to go.
Three empty cans of Red Bull filled the straw wastebasket beside her bed, with another half-full can waiting on the corner of her desk. She wasn’t in love with the taste of the drink, but she had been downing a couple of cans every night all week and was beginning to worry she might be getting addicted to the stuff. Still, there was nothing like an energy drink for staying awake, except maybe for some of the illicit drugs she was sure some of the other girls in the dorm were using. Leesa would never allow herself to go that route, no matter how tired she got. Red Bull was more than enough for her. If she couldn’t stay awake drinking Red Bull, then she had no business being awake in the first place.
Her head was beginning to feel heavy and the numbers on the pages were starting to blur, so she reached for her Red Bull. Pink’s “Greatest Hits…So Far” CD was playing softly in the background, and the singer was crooning something about not wanting to be a four o’clock in the morning girl. Leesa was pretty sure four o’clock would find her right where she was now, still studying and probably reaching for another can of Red Bull.
As she had already done several times this week, she paused her hand a few inches from the can and waited to see if might magically slide over into her hand. Once again, the can just sat there, mocking her. And once again, Leesa felt foolish. She was thankful nobody was watching.
Just for the heck of it, she closed her eyes and concentrated hard, trying to picture the Red Bull sliding across the desk into her grip. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes. Had the can moved a fraction? She couldn’t be sure. She looked closer, but there was no way to tell. It was probably just wishful thinking, some instinctive rebellion by her brain against the complex laws of physics that had been tormenting her all night. She was wasting valuable studying time, she knew, but this was more fun. Besides, she didn’t think a little break now and then would hurt. In fact, it was probably good for her.
She picked up her pencil and drew a light arc on the desk along the bottom of the can, marking its position. She squeezed her eyes shut again and tried to picture the can sliding into her hand, waiting at least fifteen to twenty seconds this time. When she opened her eyes, the can was right where it started, behind the pencil mark. Oh, well, she thought, so much for that.
She grabbed the can and chugged the liquid down, resisting the temptation to hold her nose while she drank. When she had emptied the can, she tossed it into the wastebasket. It landed with a clang atop its comrades and stayed right where it landed. What was she expecting, she thought? That it was going to jump out of the basket and start dancing on the floor?
She shook her head. Break time was over. Back to the fun and games of physics.