I wake up to Landon lifting the covers and getting out of bed. It’s still dark outside, so I know it must be very early. I reach for him, still sleepy but feeling the loss of his arms around my body.
He stops, his body relaxing as he lies back and pulls me into his arms. “You should go back to sleep,” he whispers in my ear.
I don’t miss the fact that he slept through the night for the first time since he’s been with me. I don’t want to mention it, because I don’t know yet how he’ll react. So, I cuddle contentedly into him. “I will, and so should you.”
“I wish I could, but I have to get to work.” I feel his lips against my hair. “I love the way you cuddle, like you’re going to burrow into my skin.”
“It’s not my fault you’re so warm and comfortable.”
“Warm and comfortable? I must be losing my touch.”
I smile against his neck. “Also sexy and irresistible.”
“That’s more like it.” His lips trail down to my shoulder and his hand traces a path to the small of my back. “Turn around,” he whispers.
Excitement courses through my sleepy brain, and I do as he says. Immediately he molds my body to his. I can feel the thrust of his arousal against my naked butt and I move my hips, rubbing against him.
“How are you always so hard?” I moan.
“It’s all you,” he replies. He has his arms around me, and one hand slides over my stomach, moving slowly down to my sex, where he starts to caress me gently. I sigh softly, hot arousal flooding through me. I feel his cock probe me from behind, slowly but surely sliding into my warmth.
He fills me so deeply, the sensation is incredible. His fingers continue their work, playing with my clit while his cock stretches me to my limits.
I wait for him to start moving. My body is already clenching around him, eager and wanting, but his hand between my legs, leisurely stroking me, ensures that I can’t move. I feel hot, my skin is flushed, and my breath is a desperate pant. I moan and tighten my hips, wordlessly begging him to fuck me.
He groans, but only continues to stroke my clit, his cock hot and sweet inside me. With his free hand, he cups one of my breasts, squeezing gently. I want to beg him to please just fuck me, but already my body is weakening into loose-limbed pleasure, my insides pulsing around his hard length.
“You’re going to come,” he whispers, his breath hot against the back of my neck. I believe him—already my legs are quaking, my whole body suffusing with delight. He kisses my neck, my hair, my ear, whispering soft endearments the whole time.
I let go, my body giving in to his. Already, my senses are slipping, my whole body tingling. He rocks his hips, just once, and I explode, my entire body jerking furiously as a massive orgasm ripples through me.
I hear him groan, his cock twitching inside me as he comes. My body doesn’t stop shaking until his hips finally still. I feel weak, replete with pleasure.
He pulls out of me, and I tremble with the aftershocks. I turn around to face him. “Good morning.”
He grins, sliding down to kiss my lips. “Wonderful morning,” he corrects. “Go back to sleep.”
“Not if you won’t be here when I wake up.”
He chuckles. “I can’t promise that I will, but we can have dinner tonight, at my place. I’ll even cook if you want.”
I grin. “I want.”
I watch him get up and walk naked into the adjoining bathroom. By the time he comes out a few minutes later, I’m already drifting off, but I feel the soft kiss he places on my cheek before he leaves.
BY the time I finally wake up, take a quick shower, and go to the kitchen for my wake-up cup of coffee, Laurie is already fully dressed, sipping from a large coffee mug.
“Good morning,” I mumble, going to pour myself a cup.
“You can walk!” She smirks teasingly. “I’m surprised.”
I meet her eyes and blush. “Shut up.”
“I won’t.” She gives me a dirty wink. “I couldn’t sleep. I heard everything.”
“No, you didn’t. The walls aren’t that thin. Anyway, now you know what I have to put up with whenever Brett spends the night.”
She nods and a small frown covers her face. I notice the frown and cluck sympathetically. “Don’t worry about him. Everything’s going to be fine. You’re a tyrant, but he loves you too much.”
She sighs. “I hope so.” She picks up her purse. “I’m leaving now. See you later.”
AT the office, I work on some of my articles, attend a few meetings, and even listen to Chelsea complain that she suspects her next-door neighbor at her expensive Park Avenue apartment is a bodyguard hired by her father.
“He’s insanely hot though,” she tells me. “Maybe I’ll just seduce him to piss off my dad.”
“Your dad will just hire someone else.”
“He probably will.” She groans. “He’s so hung up on the idea that someone is going to kidnap me or something. Seriously! That went out of fashion with Patty Hearst!”
Back in my office, my phone rings, and I’m pleased, almost giddy to find that it’s Landon.
“What’re you doing?” he asks.
“Earning my income. You?”
“Resenting the fact that I can’t come over there and whisk you away.”
“We’ll see each other tonight,” I remind him.
He sighs. “No, we won’t. I have to go to Europe. In fact, I’m at the airport now. There’s a little crisis concerning a property I’m planning to purchase.”
“You’re going away?” I frown, dismayed at the fact that I won’t see him tonight, and maybe for a while after. “For how long?”
“A few days. Maybe a week.”
I sigh. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
There’s a pause at his end. “Will you miss me?”
I miss him already. “I’ll miss a lot of things about you.”
He chuckles. “Like what?”
“You know what.”
“Maybe I want to hear you say it.”
I look at the closed door of my office. “Your tongue, for one.”
“What else?”
“Your fingers.” I take a breath, suddenly feeling hot. “The way you know exactly what to do with your cock.”
He makes a frustrated sound. “You have such a dirty mouth.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes you do baby, and when I return, I’m going to do dirty things to it.”
I swallow. “I will miss you,” I say softly.
There’s a long pause at his end. “Same here,” he says. “I have to go now, Rachel. Let’s talk later.”
He ends the call, leaving me wondering how I’m going to survive a week without him. It scares me how dependent on him I’ve become. This happened before, with Jack. It was less intense, less in every way, but still, when it ended, I was devastated.
With Landon, I can’t even think of an end without wanting to cry.
At lunchtime, Laurie calls me on the office line, and we talk on the phone over my Chinese takeout.
“Brett asked me out to dinner,” she tells me.
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“I don’t know,” she says, sounding worried. “I just have this feeling. I was so unreasonable last night. What if I pushed him too far? What if he wants to break up with me?”
The idea is ridiculous. “That’s the most unlikely thing that could ever happen,” I reassure her. “I mean, you guys are so in love it’s disgusting.”
She chuckles. “So what’s up with your boy toy?”
“Don’t call him that.” I sigh. “He’s gone to Europe.”
“Ha.” She teases. “So last night he was leaving his mark—imprinting on you.”
I shake my head. “Go away. He didn’t even know last night that he would have to travel.”
“So that was a regular performance? Wow!” She laughs. “Seriously, I’m glad you’re having fun. He’s a nice guy, and I think he really likes you, unlike some other guy I will not even name.”
She’s talking about Jack. I suddenly realize how long it’s been since I even really thought about him. At least Laurie was right about Landon helping me get over Jack. “I didn’t tell you while I was in San Francisco, but Jack came to see me there.”
“No he didn’t.”
I tell her everything that happened, listening to her expressions of outrage.
“How could you not tell me?” she exclaims. “And that Jack… I’m sure he saw one of the pictures of you and Landon and it temporarily did something to his ego. Some guys just can’t stand it when a girl moves on.”
“Now you’ve done something to my ego.” I laugh. “Couldn’t it just be that he really felt something and wanted to get me back?”
“Yeah, so where has he been after the initial rush of passion that made him fly out to see you?”
“He said he was going to Argentina.”
“There are cell phones in Argentina, and internet, and Skype.” She snorts. “He’s probably taken up with some model or telenovela actress, as usual. Then when he comes back he’ll suddenly remember you.”
“The truth is I haven’t really thought about him that much.”
“Halleluiah!” Laurie crows.
“You don’t have to be so glad.”
“Oh, but I am. I’ll see you tonight,” she says when she’s done gloating. “With good news, hopefully.”
“Maybe he’ll propose,” I suggest.
“You think?”
“It’s possible.”
After our conversation, I start thinking about Jack. For so long, I thought he was the one, and now, even though I know without a doubt that what I felt for him doesn’t even come close to what I feel for Landon, I still feel a little ache.
I go back to work with a small sigh, and I manage to keep my thoughts of the men in my life at bay by burying myself in the things I have to do.
I WORK until late, getting home at almost eight PM. My phone starts to ring right after I walk into the apartment. It’s Laurie.
Her voice is cracking. “Rach, please be home.”
My heart constricts with dread. “Laurie, what is it?”
“Just be home,” she sobs. “I’m on my way.”
The line goes dead.
I close the door behind me and sit on the couch, kicking off my shoes as I wait for her to get home. What could have happened with Brett? I don’t even want to entertain the fears sneaking into my mind.
A few minutes later, I hear her at the door and get up. She enters the apartment and rushes into my arms, sobbing as if she’s going to die.
I get her to sit, rubbing her back to calm her down. “What happened?”
“He thinks we need to take a break.” She sniffs. When she looks at me, her makeup is all over her face, but she still manages to look beautiful. “He says if I don’t trust him after all these years then I don’t know him, that maybe I’m subconsciously trying to find a reason to break us up.” She starts to sob again. “I can’t bear it. I love him so much.”
I put my arms around her, stroking her hair. “Did you tell him that?”
She shakes her head. “No. I was so hurt and angry, I told him to do whatever he wants. Then I walked out.”
“Laurie…”
“He tried to follow me, but I told him to get lost. He probably thinks I hate him, and I do, a little, but I don’t think I can live without him.” She starts to cry again.
“Shh.” I do my best to comfort her. “It’ll be all right.”
“What if it won’t? What if this is just an excuse so he can be with someone else, like that girl from the gym. Oh God!” I hand her a tissue from my purse and she blows her nose. “Rachel, I can’t even imagine being with anyone else. What am I going to do? I love him too much.”
At that moment, I’m so angry with Brett. I know how emotional Laurie is underneath the seemingly unflappable skin, and he knows too, which is all the more reason why he shouldn’t have hurt her like this.
Laurie cries for a while. Even after I finally convince her to change her clothes, take a warm shower, and get into bed, she keeps on crying, finally falling asleep cuddled against me. When I’m sure she’s asleep, I go to take a shower and change into my pajamas before returning to her room. Even in sleep, she looks sad, as if even in her dreams she can’t escape the threat of her relationship ending.
I’m about to call Brett when he calls me. I step into the living room to answer.
“Is she okay?” he asks.
“What do you think? I snap.
“Rachel…” He sighs. “I just…I wish she would give me a little more credit, trust me a little bit more. If we don’t have trust then what do we have? I want her to be happy, but she can’t be happy if she thinks the minute any girl bats an eyelash at me, I’m going to do something wrong.”
“You want her to be happy and you thought the best way to achieve that was to break her heart. She’s crying, Brett.”
“I’m so sorry.” He sounds as unhappy as Laurie does.
I sigh. It’s not the first time I’ve had to be a moderator in a fight between them, but it’s the first time Brett has asked for a break. “She’s the one who needs to hear that, Brett, not me. Why couldn’t you guys just discuss how you felt? Taking a break is seriously going too far.”
He exhales audibly. “You think we haven’t discussed it? I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t promise that I’m not going to hurt her if she’s going to keep finding reasons to be hurt without me doing anything.”
I close my eyes. It’s been so long since their last fight that I assumed they’d finally passed that stage in their relationship. “I don’t know what you want me to say. You have to decide what’s most important to you.”
I go back into Laurie’s room and watch her cry in her sleep. It’s real and it’s scary. It’s also frustrating that they would waste their time fighting when they both know how they feel about each other. If I knew for sure that Landon felt something for me, would I waste any emotion on fighting with him? I can’t imagine that I would.
As if he knows I’m thinking about him, he calls me. I leave Laurie’s room again, going to sit on the couch in the living room.
“I thought you might be asleep,” he says when I answer. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. What’re you doing?”
“Having a late lunch.”
“How was your flight?”
“Uneventful.” He lets out a tired sound. “I spent the whole afternoon trying to convince someone who suddenly changed her mind about selling me a property.”
“Did you succeed?”
“Barely.”
I find that hard to believe. I can’t imagine any woman being able to resist even the slightest argument from him. I wonder what tools exactly he had to employ in his convincing, and a stab of jealousy fills my heart.
“The next issue of Gilt Traveler will be out soon,” I tell him, “with the article about your hotel.”
“I’m looking forward to reading it.”
I hear someone say something to him in the background then his voice responding in rapid flowing French. Suddenly, I’m filled with an intense longing for him, so intense that it feels like I’m going to cry.
“Baby, are you there?”
The endearment makes it even worse. I miss you, I want to tell him. I’ve fallen in love with you.
“I’m here,” I say instead.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I sigh. “Brett and Laurie… He told her they needed a break. She’s been crying all night.”
He is silent for a moment. “Did he say why?”
“Long story. He says she has trust issues…thinks if she’s not happy, then what’s the point?” I shake my head. “But she’s miserable without him, and he knew she would be. Why would you hurt someone purposely when you’re supposed to love them?”
“I wouldn’t know, but if she doesn’t trust him, maybe it’s for the best.”
I remember what he told me about his parents, his mother’s jealousy and distrust. “You’re not here Landon. She’s miserable.”
“She’ll get