Aazuria considered leaving the house.
Her hand was on the doorknob, and she had to decide quickly. She could run out of the house, leap into the sea, and swim home to Adlivun. She would not have to encounter Trevain ever again and hear how negatively he thought of her. She would not have to face Elandria again, at least not immediately.
She had a mental picture of lashing out at the poor girl in anger, and she did not want this to happen. She loved Elandria, even if she had turned Trevain against her. Her fingers tightened around the cold metal doorknob. Why would she have done it? Was Elandria jealous? Did she want Trevain for herself? Had she been hoping to sully Aazuria’s character?
She knew this was not the case. Her sister was fiercely devoted and would never intentionally harm her. So what was the reason? She knew that she was far too upset to simply ask. The vicious way her voice would leave her body would scare the stuffing out of her sister. She turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. She had no other choice but to leave.
Trevain was suddenly behind her and his hand was on hers, closing the door which she had just opened. She immediately began sobbing again at the feeling of his skin against her hand. How could he bear to touch her, now that he knew?
“Aazuria, please don’t leave me again,” he said softly into her ear, slipping his arm around her stomach. “I need you to talk to me.”
She felt all the energy drain from her body as she leaned against him. She knew then that she did not have the strength to make the swim back to Adlivun tonight, and her hand fell away from the doorknob helplessly.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up right away,” he said, kissing her temple, her ear, and her neck. “I just… I’m an idiot sometimes. I want you to know that I don’t think any less of you…”
She twisted out of his grasp and moved away from him. She could not believe his words! It was not true. An altruistic, compassionate person like Trevain could never understand murder. “I am… exhausted from my trip,” she said, struggling to speak calmly and evenly through her tears. “I need to rest.”
“Aazuria—”
She bolted up the stairs, clutching the railing tightly as her weakened legs threatened to buckle under her. Congenital bone disorder, indeed! She ran directly to her room. Crawling into her bed, she buried herself beneath the covers as she quietly sobbed. She knew that he would never want her now. She deserved it. This was the price she paid for being herself. She felt betrayed by her sister for the first time in her life.
Why would Elandria tell him such a thing? It did not make sense.
She shut her eyes tightly to fight back her tears. She was not crying out of remorse for what she had done, or sadness for the loss of her father. No, she had come to terms with that and even wished she had been capable of doing it sooner. She knew that long-term repercussions of her father’s cruelty would haunt her people for many years to come. She should have seen this and acted sooner, but her judgment had been clouded by filial love and loyalty.
Droplets of water slid from her wet hair down into her mouth. She tasted the chlorine from the pool. It tasted so unlike the comforting ocean saltwater, or even the fresh glacial drinking water which filled her massive bedchamber at home. She missed the taste of saltwater.
Chlorine just tasted like defeat.
She lay there in moist despair until she felt two strong arms encircle her. She was too weak to protest or to pull away. It was then she discovered how comforting a human touch could be. It was altogether different from when her sisters hugged her—it was more than just affectionate. His warm embrace spoke volumes of reassurance which her body instinctively understood. It was a secret sign language exchanged between souls.
“I asked Elandria for permission to ask you to marry me,” Trevain explained, holding her close. “That’s why she told me. She wanted me to truly know the woman I was hoping to join my life with; providing she’d have me of course.”
Her body had known his intentions before her mind could register his words. She looked over her shoulder to see the honesty and love on his face. “Trevain,” she whispered in astonishment.
“If you want to know the truth, Zuri, it has only made me more in awe of you. To go through what you have experienced must have taken incredible strength.”
She examined each wrinkle and pore for the hint of a lie, but his expression was pure. She saw only truth there. She could not believe that he was so accepting and sympathetic. “You are amazing,” she said softly, out loud this time.
He smiled. “I was planning to find some fancy, impressive way to ask you… but since you already know I’m going to, it kind of spoils the surprise. I guess I should just do it now.” He wrapped his arms around her even more tightly and kissed her cheek. “Aazuria, please say you’ll be my wife.”
His words created several tiny explosions of emotion within her. She was inundated with euphoria and knew without a doubt that she wanted to accept his offer. Then, she forced herself to ignore the feelings and think. Her thoughts raced as she tried to imagine the possibility. She knew that she would have to return to Adlivun, and she was uncertain whether he could breathe underwater. Even if he could, he would think it was crazy. He would never even consider coming to her home; he laughed at the mention of its existence like it was some great joke!
Could she manage to live her life with him here, in his house, on land, and forsake her kingdom? Could she leave everything she had ever cherished behind in order to love him? No, those were not the right questions. She knew without a doubt that she easily could; the strength of her feeling attested to that. The real question was should she? She knew the answer to that question as well. She should not.
She had always been Princess Aazuria Vellamo of Adlivun. How could she suddenly be Mrs. Trevain Murphy, Alaskan housewife?
He saw the thoughts and emotions dancing in her eyes, even in the darkness of the room. Her eyes still had that certain subtle shine to them, reminding him again of a cat in the dark. He reached out and brushed the wetness of her tears off her cheeks, now that they had stopped falling.
“You don’t have to tell me your answer now,” he said. “I know it’s crazy and sudden. I’ll ask you again and again until you know for sure what you want.”
She exhaled a breath that she did not realize she had been holding. She turned over in bed to face him completely, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she embraced him. “I do need to think about it,” she said softly, “but it is a rather nice idea.”
“I know you may not love me yet, but if you’re willing to waste a few years beside me… maybe you’ll grow to care for me more.” His voice was hesitant but hopeful. “I don’t really know how this love thing works, but I know I’ve never felt this way. I never thought I would, and it’s kind of crazy powerful. I can’t stand to be separated from you for a few minutes. I’ll do just about anything to make you happy, and see you laugh—and it’s really tough to make you laugh.”
She smiled. She did not know how to tell him that she already believed that she loved him. She had entertained, and disdained, many proposals before, but usually from distant strangers who had sent an envoy to her father. Never from a man who was holding her tightly in his arms, and professing that he cared for her in spite of… and because of the fact that she was a murderess. This was new.
“Don’t run away from me anymore, Zuri,” he said burying his face in her hair. “You’re all I have left.”
She sighed deeply, remembering his recent loss. She guiltily thought of how Callder lay wounded in her infirmary. She wished she could give Trevain some small measure of optimism, and tell him that there was a slim chance his brother might pull through—but there was too much explaining to do. She felt awful at having to keep this from him.
“There is so much about me which you do not know,” she whispered.
“I want you to feel comfortable telling me all your secrets,” he answered. “I promise that I can handle them. We can get through anything together. Now that I know about your father, nothing can faze me.”
“Did Elandria tell you why I did it?” she asked.
“Yes… she told me what he did to her,” he said, swallowing. He could not think about it without feeling emotional. The main emotion was anger.
“I let him harm my sisters for years. I did not do anything to stop it,” Aazuria said, struggling to vanquish a new onslaught of tears. “But that’s not even why I killed him.”
“Shhhh, it’s okay,” Trevain said, rubbing her back soothingly. “You don’t have to think about it now.”
“I thought his actions were going to destroy us. He did not care about who he hurt or trampled to get what he desired. I thought that killing him would save us. Now, I am not so sure. The damage has been done. The people he wronged… they are already coming after us. I may not be able to stop them.”
“Don’t worry about a thing, Zuri,” he said, kissing her nose. “You’re safe here with me.”
“I wish that my own safety was all that I needed to consider,” she lamented. “That would be easy.”