Chapter Seven
Lenny Nuwolt
It was hard to come to an awareness of my surroundings, but Desirée’s voice and encouraging hands had me doing my best to come to attention. With her help I eased out of the truck and down a pebble strewn path.
I was leaning too heavily on her, but she didn’t complain. Good thing as it was hard to fathom how I was even managing to stay upright at all.
I felt dead on my feet. The lighting got darker and dimly I realized that I was within a house.
“Where I am?” I slurred out.
Out of breath sounding Desirée said, “I rented a fishing cabin for a month. We’re well past the hundred and fifty mile search radius. No suspicions have been raised. You can rest, okay.”
I nodded, inwardly impressed with her. I saw a bed and I fell upon it. That’s the last thing I remembered other than the feel of Desirée’s hand wiping across my forehead and urging me to drink down a bottle of water.
*****
Desirée
Breathing heavy Desirée leaned back against the wall of the bedroom for a long moment. She was tired and worried.
It was the worry that drove her to come away from the wall and go back out to the truck and get the supplies she had bought.
Armed with confidence from another incident that had occurred two months back when Victor had gotten a deep bullet burn across the front of his one thigh she went to work. He weighed a ton and it was beyond her to even contemplate trying to get his clothes off.
Taking a pair of scissors she cut his shirt away. Carefully she unsnapped his holster and laid his big gun onto a nearby nightstand.
She had a history with that gun as well as its owner. It was hard to imagine now though just how much things had changed from the moment of her on her knees with the muzzle of that pistol aimed at her forehead. In short everything had changed.
She swabbed his whole shoulder area down being quite liberal with the rubbing alcohol. Trepidatiously she pulled the one blood soaked tampon out.
A gush of blood came with it that almost made her pass out, but taking a breath she pulled the tampon in his back out as well in order to let the wound drain. It really wasn’t bleeding that bad now and the wound had started to close in on itself as the blood clotted.
He was a big healthy animal for sure. Her eyes drifted appreciably out across the muscular sloped plains of his chest and the desire she had for this man only heightened in intensity.
Wiping at her forehead with the back of her hand she then went about bandaging both sides of the wound and then wrapping it with gauze to hold the pads in place. That in itself was an ordeal as she had to repetitively lift him in order to get the gauze around him.
All the while she worked on him he slept taking big even breaths of air. Brushing back her hair she stared down at him for a moment. He really should have a bath.
Her eyes traced down him as she debated about what to do. It would be a highly personal thing to do given how she felt about him, but it was a needful thing to be done.
She felt at her ring finger and the purity ring that sat there snugly. Her fingers were swelled from the effort she had gone through this day. However something told her to tug on the ring anyway, but she didn’t for fear it was just her own lusts speaking to her.
She stood up to go and the ring fell off her finger. Gasping she reached down to pick it up.
She went to put it back on, but it wouldn’t go. It was as if an invisible force held it from going further.
Glancing upward Desirée said, “But he hasn’t made a choice for You yet. I thought that had to come first.”
“It does.”
Feeling left to grapple with that answer on her own she thought about what that meant in connotation to the ring not going back on.
“Your vowel of purity is no longer reserved to Me. See to his needs, but only share yourself with him when he has been made whole. To do otherwise is to disobey Me.”
Shivering slightly her hand closed around the ring tightly as she whispered, “Thank you.”
She left the room then. When she came back moments later it was with her ring tied to a string about her neck and a basin of warm water in her hands.
She then cared for him by doing what he couldn’t in the moment. After she’d finished washing him she pulled the comforter out from underneath him to pile it up at the foot of the bed.
She’d have to recompense the owner of the fishing cottage for it as she doubted that such an amount of blood could ever be washed out entirely. That done she stared down at the man upon the bed.
He was quite the hunk and one day, like it or not, he was going to be all hers. She fervently hoped that day would be soon.
She pulled the sheet out from under him and covered him with it and then for the first time she managed the time to care for her own needs. She got a shower and dried off before slipping the ring necklace back on.
She’d bought some clothes, but she only put on the undergarments. Going back to the bedroom she looked in to see him as he had been when she had left.
She fervently wished she could cuddle up against him, as only she had daydreamed about doing, but that wasn’t for now. Reluctantly she turned away and made her way to the living room area and lay down on the couch that she’d covered up with a blanket. She covered up with the loose end of the blanket and lay there.
She was tired, but sleep wouldn’t come. Idly she reached over and got the TV remote and did something then that she never did anymore.
She never watched TV, but in her defense she was curious about something. The local news channel came on and she didn’t have to wait long before imagery of a big green rusty rock truck on the loose in an urban scene came to life on the big screen.
Putting a hand to her mouth she watched in a mixture of amazement and something like shocked humor as a TV anchor woman droned on in the background. Something the woman said caught at her attention.
“This sorry mad dash through town at the complete disregard for others safety we now know was the result of a workplace labor dispute. This act of extreme road rage was committed by one Lenny Nuwolt, a machine operator for the local union. Our preliminary reports tell us that after getting fed up from an extended labor standoff between the union and the company’s owners that he was contracted to work for he decided to make a few waves of his own with this joyride of his 85 ton rock truck through this commercial district of Louisville. Sadly Lenny didn’t get to live to see both the damage and the move for change his road rage actions have inspired. Police said he drowned behind the wheel of his rock truck, after seemingly ditching it purposefully in the river. This wild ride finally came to an end. A ride in which at least one eyewitness reports that he saw a military helicopter fire live rounds upon the truck. Early on there was some fear that the truck could be harboring a bomb, but reports in from the street are conflicting. In the end what is clear is that a resolution to these labor disputes between the trade unions, city officials, and company owners must end! Already hundreds of union members have gathered to offer their support for continued talks and as a testament to one’s man’s will to make a statement with his life howbeit a costly one for all parties involved. Stay tuned to hear the latest from this evolving story that just maybe might end better than it started out today. I’m Rachel Upholtz and this is your local news broadcast. Stay…….” Desirée clicked the TV off and let the remote fall to the floor.
The lies! They’d killed that man!
Did no one see the truth? How could they when all the major media outlets at large were in for whatever was whispered into their ear to say and proclaim to one and all willing to listen.
Rubbing a hand across her eyes she prayed for the operator of the truck that had been murdered for the sake of a diversion from the real story.
Sadly she didn’t hold out much hope for the man given her remembrance of all the garbage he’d had strewn about the interior of his rock truck. Such things said a lot about the man’s priorities in life and yet she hoped for his sake that he’d made the right choice at some point before his death.
Speaking of choices caused her to forget the fake news bulletin and pray for the eternal redemption of her own man’s soul. In the course of doing that she fell asleep.
*****
A loud cry startled Desirée so badly that she jumped up off the couch before she had the cognitive ability to stand. Her legs folded under her and as she fell to the floor her senses caught up with her as she heard the awful cry again. It was coming from the bedroom!
Scrambling to her feet she tore down the hallway and rushed into the bedroom expecting to see Victor in the process of being tortured to death. He was alone, but even in the mostly dark room she could see that all was not well.
He had a fever and he was tossing all about on the bed to the point that she feared that he would hurt himself. Going to him she shook at his arm, “Victor! Victor wake up!”
But there was no waking him from the grips of the delusional nightmare that had him enthralled within its grasp.
There was no way that she was going to leave him like this. Crawling onto the bed she did her best to scoot in behind his head and stop his movements.
Even in his weakened state though he was so much more powerful than her. She tried anyway and finally managed to lock his torso to be relatively still by sliding her legs down both of his sides and keeping his head locked still against her stomach with both arms.
Sweat was pouring off him in rivulets and both the sheets and her own skin were drenched from his cast off perspiration. He was literally burning up!
Doing her best to hold him steady she prayed. She prayed for the infection is his wound to be healed. She prayed for his tormenting dreams to be gone. She prayed for his soul. She prayed for many things even as at the first her shy love for this big man became something more fierce of nature as she contended for both his health and peace of mind.
It seemed odd, but this man was the only reason other than God that she was still alive. Even stranger was that she couldn’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else in life other than this man.
He understood her as few did and he cared for her needs intuitively. He was a gentleman and yet the strongest of warriors.
She’d never felt safer or more in love with a man than she did with him. Rocking back and forth she whispered cajolingly into his ear to get him to be more at peace and forsake the unseen war that he was embroiled in.
He had calmed down considerably, but not all the way. Her prayers and whispered words of love gave way to a prayer song of the spirit, in which she gave up trying to form an understanding of any of the words that God’s Spirit in residence within her was saying to the Father on behalf of her.
She gave the Holy Spirit full reign over her voice and before long Victor went absolutely still. Glancing down to his face with concern she cried out softly, “Oh Honey!”
He was crying. Of all things she’d never expected to see of this man it was this and seeing it caused her heart to hurt.
Swinging her leg over his head she scooched down in the bed on his good side and more or less pulled him onto his side to press his face against her chest, as she rubbed at his sweaty back and head with all the consolation she could muster.
“Oh Honey don’t cry. It’s not that bad. I promise. You’ll see. Shhhh…….” He continued to cry though and she held him through it.
She held him long after she even felt his fever break. In a way she would gladly hold on to him forever.
He was like her and she could understand him. They had their differences, but they had both had to survive in the same corner of hell and thus there was a lot that they held in common.
He hadn’t quite completed the journey yet though and more than anything in life right now she hoped that he soon would.
*****
When the first rays of morning sunlight began to filter in through the window he started to stir in a way that heralded him awakening soon.
With extreme reluctance Desirée eased out of the bed from beside him, until she slipped onto the floor. His hands felt at where she had just been as if in search of something of comfort and she smiled at the sweetness of the gesture.
Standing up she made to leave the room before something occurred to her to do. Taking her purity ring necklace off she stared at it for a moment before leaning forward and slipping it over his head until the silvery ring was nestled in the curly hairs of his chest.
That done Desirée eased on out of the room and back to the couch in the main living area of the cottage by the river. Pulling the blanket up to her chin was no substitute for the feel of her man, but she would be faithful to what God had asked of her above all else.
She fell asleep quickly, as she felt utterly worn out from caring for him all night out of a last ditch reserve of energy.
*****
Victor
My eyes flickered open and I knew a moment of concern as for a moment my mind was blank of all memory. My gaze took in my gun resting on a bedside table.
Reaching out I took a hold of it, instantly loving the feel of security that it offered. It was small security these days though for I was outgunned by far in the protection of a woman who seemed to have no fear.
I had fear though. Fear that ate at me each and every day and only grew in leaps and bounds as I came to like the person that Desirée was more and more. How was I ever going to keep her safe?
The leash was getting tighter all the time as assassins of my own skill and entire police departments were mobilized to take us out. I had no answer to the heightened war being waged against us other than to disappear from it, but for Desirée that wasn’t an option.
Feeling stiff and very dry I sat up and slung my feet over the side of the bed. Being naked wasn’t as odd of a realization as the sensation of something hanging about my neck.
My hand captured the object. In shock I gazed at Desirée’s ring.
She’d never been married to my understanding and yet she always wore this ring. Never had I seen her take it off.
Where was she? What had happened?
I surged up from the bed and made for the door of the woodsy little room. Dizziness assailed me and almost forced me to stop, but I put my hand on the wall for balance and walked on.
I had no memory of this place at all. I strode into the living area as all my survival instincts came to the forefront of needing to know what was going on.
My eyes took in the rumpled condition of the sofa that had a blanket tossed to one side of it. Going to it I stiffly reached down for the blanket and held it up to my face.
It smelled like Desirée. She was alive, but where?
The door latch clicking open had me pivoting around to level my gun off at the sole means of entrance to the small log cabin. Desirée stood there blinking repeatedly.
Going to her I pulled her inside the rest of the way and looking about quickly outside I saw no evidence of danger. I closed the door and turned to Desirée, who still stood there her arms full of groceries, and I lit into her, “What is it you do? Not safe to go out by yourself!”
“I was careful.” She responded back with in a slightly choked sounding tone of voice.
She turned away and hurried to a table and set down the bags she’d been holding. Glancing quickly to me and then away she gestured off to the bedroom, “I left some clothes out for you. Didn’t you see them?”
I didn’t care about clothes right now. I didn’t know what was going on. I felt out of control.
I glanced out the window at the forest environment that surrounded the log cabin. It looked to be about midday.
Midday! Had I really slept so long?
The nightmares had been so long and then…..then……
I looked to Desirée to see her studiously gazing at my face. Gesturing to myself with my gun and then to her I said cautiously, “We slept together?”
Her face blushed dark and she exclaimed, “Goodness no! I mean yes, but sleeping is all. Nothing else happened, I swear!”
She looked away nervously and feeling strange inside I felt at the ring about my neck and said, “What is this for? It’s yours.”
She glanced at me and then away. Gathering herself together somewhat she faced me squarely and raising her eyes to mine she said, “It’s yours now, but I’m not.”
“You’re not what?” I asked, at a complete loss, as I felt a dizzy spell threaten to overwhelm me as the complexities of the moment increased. She said something that I had to of misheard and I blamed the dizziness for making it sound like what I thought it sounded like, and so I asked her to repeat what she’d just said. However her words were the same as before.
“I’m not yours yet, but I’m pledged to you. That’s why I gave you the ring. When you’re ready you can give it back to me and I’ll accept it as your wife.”
I shook my head as dizziness assailed me. Pledged to me?
What was going on? I was her protector and nothing more. I……
What could she mean other than what I knew she meant?
“Victor?”
Focusing on her I saw her point to the bedroom and say, “Why don’t you go get dressed and I’ll make us some food for a picnic down by the river.”
I stared at her. None of this made sense. I’d been shot and now this.
Even as the unreality of the here and now occurred dazed memories of having her near to me and the sound of her voice calming away the nightmarish events of my past, occurred as if in slow motion slides placed over the current focus of my vision.
I couldn’t help it. I physically reacted to the memories of feeling her near and with that I turned away and went back to the bedroom.
There was no denying to her now that I cared nothing for her as my own flesh had so openly betrayed me. What on Earth was I supposed to do?
*****
Desirée
Fingers shaking Desirée began to unpack the contents of the bags. Her mind though was fully still on the image of him and his physical response to the stream of memories she’d seen dancing in his eyes.
Ever since she’d given up her old life it had been as if God had flipped a switch on her carnal side and the desires of the flesh simply hadn’t been there to plague her as they once had. Well now they were back and yet it was very different.
It wasn’t a longing that was crude or base in its actions, but rather one that almost felt as if it was holy in some way. Oh she hoped he made things right with his Creator soon!
The ache she’d had for months had only intensified since these past few moments and in a moment of self-contemplation she feared that the aspects of her walk with God were being overwhelmed by the desires and distractions of the flesh.
“God I…… I need your help. I don’t want to mess this up. I feel almost like You’ve set me up in some way. I feel overwhelmed. Please forgive me if I have errored in any way and show me what I am to do. I give this attraction I have for him to You. I am weak, but You are my strength and yet why does it feel like You’ve allowed me to be opened up to desires that seem to separate me from the walk I’ve had with You since I repented from the ways of the world. You know the thoughts in my head. You know it all. How does this please You and have I offended or betrayed Your confidence in me by desiring to be with this man so much?” Desirée asked brokenly, as she was genuinely worried that her walk of faith might be in jeopardy in some way.
In the moment Desirée would have walked out the door and never set eyes on the object of her emergent fantasies ever again if she had so felt led to do, but the door of the cottage remained fixatedly closed. In a symbolic gesture she let her eyes fall from the door she suddenly felt sure she wasn’t supposed to flee through in order to escape the weakness that her desires had evoked.
“Trust and patience. I will keep you.”
That was all. While it was little to go on, in detail, it was enough to know that even though it felt like she was altering the course of her life to perhaps an errant course that God was still there to steer her back if that indeed was the case. However, it seemed more like God was steering her right into the arms of a man she craved to be one with unlike any other.
Glancing up she saw the object of all her desires and personal angst reappear from the bedroom, thankfully clothed this time. Summoning up a smile she asked, “Are you hungry?”
He came close. Very close and she very much felt his eyes on her. She guessed that was answer enough to her question, only not with the meaning she had intended.
From behind her back she heard him get a glass from a cupboard and fill it with water. He gulped it down and then filled the glass again. Then he was quiet.
She wanted to turn and see what it was he pondered on, but she had no sooner thought to do so, when she felt him move to stand close behind her. Standing still she waited for what she didn’t know to occur.
His hand appeared only to lay the necklace with its ring on the counter beside her. His hand departed even as his words flatly sounded hollow of meaning within the room, “I don’t want you.”
Her eyebrows rose. Turning around she leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms across her chest.
She eyed him speculatively for a moment before saying, “You should ask God for forgiveness. As it is Victor you are a terrible liar. It’s just one more thing to like about you though. Now you pick that necklace up and put it back on.”
*****
Victor
I stared down at the frustrating source of so much inner angst on my part, who had now genuinely caused some degree of anger within me. I didn’t like being ordered to do anything.
Angrily I took the bait and said in a mean tone, “Or what?”
Staring right back at me completely unfazed by my aggression she said, “Or I’ll kiss you and show you up for the terrible liar that you are.”
In a mixture of frustration and fury I reached out to take ahold of her by the shoulders. I didn’t know what to say. All I knew was that I never wanted to hurt this woman ever again.
I let go of her and made to leave, but her hand caught fast at the back of my pants at the belt and her words brooked no denial, “You forgot something, Handsome.”
I wheeled around and grasping her hair with my good hand I held her head back to be imprisoned as I shouted down into her face, “I am not good! Stop trying to make me good!”
She stared back at me completely unafraid even as I had the strength to crush the life out of her with just one arm.
As my eyes often did they focused in on the white outlines of the scar on her forehead. I had already crushed the life out of her once.
My eyes going back to hers I said in a softer tone, “Stay away. Please!”
She captively shook her head no and said, “No can do, Captain.” And then even though it must’ve hurt her with my tight grip on her hair she pressed forward to kiss me. She kissed me like she did all things, with abandon.
I couldn’t take it. I kissed her back and forgot about everything else.
Dimly I felt her hands moving and breaking the kiss for only a moment it was to find her fitting the necklace back around my neck and nestling the ring into the top of my shirt with her fingers. My eyes lifted to her swollen lips and then to her eyes. I shook my head negatively, but made no other move.
Her hands moved to still my head and she said, “Yes Victor. I can and do desire you despite everything. I want you. I want no one else. God made me for you and I will be yours, when you come to the realization that even as I have forgiven you, even so God is waiting to do the same. All you have to do is ask.”
“That will never happen!” I stated harshly.
“Why?” She asked softly.
“Because I deserve hell!”
“So did I.” She responded back.
I looked away, but her eyes ducked around to follow the path of mine, “Come on you must’ve seen the pictures, heard the songs, and seen me perform practically every satanic rite known to man.”
I had seen some of what she’d once been, but it made no difference and yet the necklace about my throat hung like a lead weight saying otherwise. If her God could change her so, then why not me too?
She was drawing closer again and I was helpless against the advance of something I desperately wanted.
“You just keep thinking about it big boy.” She breathed out against my face, as her lips closed over mine with a willingness to please, even as she openly took full advantage of my desire for her.
Drawing back after a long moment she smiled, as she slipped free of my hands that had been grasped tightly around her waist. Feeling dizzy again I watched her pick a bag up and then taking my hand she said, “Come along if you’re hungry.”
I was hungry, just not so much for food. My hand snared my gun up from where I had laid it on the counter earlier at some point. I tucked it behind my back into my pants wondering instead if I should take it and blow off what made me a man so there would never be any chance of defiling this woman with the essence of a killer who had more innocent blood on his hands then some US presidents did.