Chapter Nine
We finish watching Survivor with Carla then linger on our goodbyes, promising that we will come by tomorrow before we fly home. I know she’s spent nights here without my Dad before but it’s still hard to leave her alone tonight.
Danny is still quiet on the car ride to the hotel. I catch him looking over at me occasionally.
“What?”
He shrugs.
“Talk to me.” I want to reach for his hand but I’m not sure where his head is right now.
“Do you remember when you moved into your apartment?”
My Dad, Danny, Dom and Luis all helped me move in but only Danny stuck around to help put the bed together. Everyone else had somewhere to be that night. It was yet another time that I pretty much threw myself at him and he told me no. “Yeah, I remember.”
He’s watching the road but lost in thought. “I wanted to stay.”
Now it’s my turn to be shocked. I try to speak but don’t know where to start. He doesn’t notice because he’s still on the same train of thought.
“It was about two months after she left.” I know he means his wife. He never says her name. “I told myself that I was rebounding, that your Dad would kill me, that you’d regret it. But I wanted to stay.”
“But you never…I didn’t think you liked me. I mean, I thought you were only nice to me because of my Dad.”
He’s still lost in his own memories because he doesn’t reply to what I said. “I’ve gone out of my way, more than once, to drive by your place.” He chuckles to himself then finally turns to me. “I’ve thought about just stopping in, pretending to be checking up on you, just to hang out with you for a while.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He shrugs and goes back to watching the road but then replies. “It wouldn’t have been a good idea, even if I didn’t think Mike would kill me. I was usually feeling sorry for myself.”
“But I would have…” He doesn’t let me finish.
“Not fair to you.”
And there it is again him and my Dad, thinking for me, telling me what I want and need, never asking my opinion. “Don’t you think that’s for me to decide? I know how to take care of myself, Danny.”
He stresses his sincerity by looking over at me. “I know you do.”
✈✈✈
He’s quiet the rest of the way to the hotel but when we get there he touches me more than he has since I’ve known him. He offers his hand to help me out of the car then holds mine in the elevator. He must be still torn about us because he’s studying the carpet. He finally looks at me when we hear the chime that we’ve reached our floor.
When the door opens he lets go of my hand and steps off. I follow and stand there waiting to see if he’ll tell me what he’s thinking now.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
I feign shock.
He glares at me. “But I’m going to lay it all out there.” He takes my hand and studies our entwined fingers. “I’m too old for you. I’m broke. I have a bitch of an ex-wife,” I knew all these things so he brushes through them. But then he studies my reaction when he says, “And I’m leaving.”
My heart jolts at the last word. “You’re leaving? What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?”
“I’ve taken a job in Saudi Arabia. I leave in two months.” He squeezes my hand. “This is a bad time to tell you. I’m sorry. I want you to know before we…” He leaves a blank space for what might happen between us.
“Why?” I ask but I pretty much already know why. There’s always a need for airplane mechanics in Saudi and it pays a shit ton, tax free. Guys go there to make money.
“Remember when Nick was born, he had that heart thing?”
I nod. Danny’s son was born not long after I met him. He was premature and had a heart defect but I thought all that was taken care of. He had several surgeries when he was little to fix it.
“Well, there’s been complications. He’s doing ok now, but he’s on some new experimental drug and treatment. It’s not covered by insurance.”
“Oh.” I nod. That explains a lot about him being broke in spite of his two jobs.
“I’ve signed a three year contract.”
I nod again and exhale my frustration. It feels like a cruel joke. After ten years I find out that he wants me and he’s leaving. We’re both completely emotionally wrung out from the funeral and now this.
He leans in and rests his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry.” He puts his other hand on my neck and pulls me in for a hug.
I say, “I’m sorry too” into his collar.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For me. For you. For us.” I sigh and burrow farther into his warm neck. “For Carla, for my Dad.” My voice cracks and he pulls me close with both arms. “Come sleep with me.” I feel him start to pull away then I add, “I mean sleep, as in go to sleep. Don’t let me lie there alone in my room and overthink all of this.”
“How can I stop that?”
“If you’re sleeping next to me, possibly without this annoying shirt,” I bump his collar with my nose. “I won’t be thinking about much of anything else.”
He laughs softly and kisses my forehead. “Alright. We’ll just sleep.” I can tell he’s as tired as I am but there’s still a question in his voice that that’s all we’ll do.
✈✈✈
In my room, we strip. He takes off his socks and shoes, jacket and shirt but leaves his dress pants on. I unbuckle my shoes and toss them on the floor then pull my dress over my head. I stop momentarily trying to remember which bra and undies I have on. I look down. It’s my pink lace set, more sweet than sexy but it makes me feel pretty when I’m sad. Danny raises his eyebrows at it and smiles. I pull back the covers and slide into bed. Danny’s still standing there.
“That’s what you’re wearing to sleep?”
I nod and pull back the covers on his side. He shakes his head in protest but slides in between the sheets and turns off the lamp before settling himself on the pillow. I scoot across until my head is on his chest and my leg wrapped around his.
“I’m supposed to sleep like this,” He asks. His hand caresses my back.
“For now.” I relax into him.
“You’re not making this easy.”
“I don’t want to,” is my drowsy reply. I don’t torture him anymore but only because I drift off immediately.
✈✈✈
I don’t care if it’s only for a short time. I’m awake and have been for almost a half hour, just laying here watching Danny sleep and trying not to move and wake him. When he told me he was leaving last night, I was crushed, so crushed I had to push it aside and forget about it so I could get some sleep. When I woke up this morning I knew exactly what I want to do. I want to be with Danny for as long as I can.
I’ve been thinking about my Dad and Carla. Would they have missed the chance to be so in love if they had known it would end so soon? Hell, no. I’m glad my Dad quit his job to move to New Orleans and be with Carla. I’m glad he had those few years when he wasn’t lonely anymore. His life is giving me my answer.
I reach for Danny’s hand and lace my fingers with his. He mumbles something and rolls away from me taking my hand with him. I’m now squished up against his back so I take advantage of it.
I touch my cheek to his warm skin and breathe in. I’m imprinting his smell on my brain because it makes me so damn happy. He twitches and mumbles again then rolls onto his back and slowly opens his eyes. With my chin on his chest, I look up and him and smile.
“Morning.”
He doesn’t respond and I get the feeling he isn’t a morning person but he moves his arm from under me to around my shoulder and pulls me in close. We lay there in companionable silence but I can only stay quiet for so long.
“I thought about what you said last night, and I don’t care if it’s only for a short time.”
With my head against his shoulder, I can’t see his face but I can hear him take a deep breath as he thinks about my answer.
“Do you think my Dad would have stayed away from Carla if he had known it would only be for a few years?”
He rubs my arm for a few minutes before he says, “No.” He’s still staring at the ceiling deep in thought.
“I get why you’re leaving. I don’t like that you are, but I get it.”
I take my hand from his and rub it up his arm. He has a faded farmer’s tan on his bicep where his uniform shirt ends. I’ve noticed it before and wanted to touch him there. So I do.
“Let’s just do this, for right now, for the time we’ve got.”
I caress his forearm, the muscles and tendons I’ve watched bunch and flex as he would work with my dad. I want to touch him everywhere and I’m really getting turned on but I’m not feeling much movement from him. I pull away to see his face.
He’s debating again.
“What?” I ask.
“I should warn you, it’s been almost two years.” He shakes his head and laughs. “Two fucking years.” He looks down at me. “I don’t want this to be bad but…”
I don’t understand. I would think after two years of no sex he would be on me like white on rice. I want to roll on top of him and get this party started so I start to and he eases me off.
“Vivey, do you know what happens when a man hasn’t had sex in two years?”
I have to admit I don’t.
“I’m gonna be like a god-damn teenager again. This may be really quick. You are killing me right now.”
I had noticed the tent in the sheet but figured it was just morning wood. He might have been trying to warn me off by telling me that he was going to be bad in bed, but all I heard was that I was killing him. Me. I feel like a goddess that can turn on this beautiful man.
I know my smile is wicked but I can’t help it, I’m having too much fun. Drive you crazy and kill you with sex? Challenge accepted. I lean down and kiss his chest, then his sternum, his belly button and the start of his happy trail.
“God damn, Vivey.” I can hear his conflict, Stop, but…don’t.
I sit up and unbutton his pants then unzip them slowly. I reach in and scratch my nails along the fabric of his boxers, against the length of him.
He grabs onto the pillow behind him with both hands. Yeah, you’d better hold on.
I use both hands to pull his pants and underwear off together and toss them aside.
Oh hell yeah. He has those indents on his hips, the ones that seem to point right to my prize. I want to taste him but I show a little restraint and use my hand to caress him. He’s rigid and pulled up tight and I realize that he won’t last long so I dive in. I take as much of him as I can in my mouth then try to relax and take in more, past my gag reflex. I hear a sharp inhale followed by a raspy exhale. His reaction makes me feel even more powerful.
I work him with my tongue, spurred on by his stream of curse words interspersed with my name. He reaches for my head when he’s about to come and holds on to me. I don’t know if he wants me in a certain place or is afraid I’ll let go and stop but I don’t until he’s spent and uttered the name of every deity he knows and added mine to the list.
I fall back onto the bed and laugh, conceited with my prowess. I rocked his world. And that was just round one.