‘Are you sure you’ve got nothing turned on they can use to spy on us?’
‘Nope. TV’s off, phones are all off, computer’s off, Internet’s off, security’s off, curtains are pulled… Unless they’ve bugged the place we’re probably safe.’
The five men were seated on comfortable chairs in Arnold’s lounge, eating with their fingers from plates on their laps.
‘I still can’t believe we didn’t realise they’d hack into everything and know everything about us.’
‘Well, they did, but we’re lucky they spilled the beans. Now we won’t make fools of ourselves by thinking we can trick them.’
Bart turned to Hylas. ‘I owe you an apology. I annoyed Tom so he got back at me through you.’
‘I don’t think so, Bart,’ Arnold interrupted. ‘It was a classic intimidation ploy. Conquerors always do it to weaken the will to resist. Make everyone terrified so they do as they're told. He was just waiting for an excuse. If it wasn’t you it'd have been something one of us said, so don’t beat yourself up about it.’
‘He’s right, Bart. It wasn’t you, it was my irresistible flesh.’
‘Good one, Hylas. What amazes me is you ran up and down to the roof three times without even the slightest wince…have you a cast-iron rectum?’
Hylas smiled. ‘He used so much spit I didn’t even feel uncomfortable.’ He snuggled against Fidel and kissed his cheek. ‘Don’t forget I've been inoculated on a regular basis by this magnificent instrument.’ He waggled Fidel’s penis affectionately. ‘So Tom’s little worm didn’t cause any anguish. His creepy hands were worse, and his evil breath when he kissed me. It was all I could do not to spit.’ He paused, frowned and added seriously, ‘But if you guys hadn't been there I’d have been terrified. Honestly. It was only the knowledge that you'd not let anything really bad happen to me that stopped me chundering. Then at the end when one of them scratched his groin I wondered about lice, so I've shaved myself.’ He stood and paraded. ‘How do I look? Prepubescent?’
‘So that's why you were so long in the bathroom. And here I thought you were disinfecting your ring. Actually, you do look younger… but an adult male audience would have to be soft in the head to imagine you were prepubescent.’
‘Anyone who believes in that religious crap is soft in the head and an utter bastard!’ Arnold growled. ‘They're going to turn Natural Fitness into a brothel where religious big-wigs can watch boys dance naked, then fuck them with impunity. And they expect Hylas and me to teach those poor boys how to take a huge, probably diseased hard-on up their tight little arses. I feel sick! Physically sick just thinking about it! I keep imagining how I’d have felt if I’d been locked in a room alone being fucked by that evil Tom, as he calls himself, when I was ten years old. I’d have been terrified out of my wits—literally. I’d have gone mad. There's no way you can prepare boys or girls for that sort of thing. I know boys do sell themselves in some countries, but they’re able to say no if someone as evil as those creeps comes along.’ Arnold ran his hands through his hair in despair. ‘Look at the continuing misery and suffering of adults here in Australia, who've been sexually abused by priests and ministers when they were kids. But what can we do? How can we stop it?’
‘By not losing our heads, remaining true to ourselves, and putting obstacles in their way. We’ve got three weeks until they move in. We’ll do as we’re told, keep the gym going so they don’t suspect anything, and make plans.’
‘All very well, Bart. But my brain’s stopped functioning.’
Robert smiled grimly. ‘Do you mind losing the gym, Arnold?’
‘I’ve already lost it, so no.’
‘You’ll still have multi millions.’
‘Which they know about,’ Fidel said sombrely.
‘They know everything.’ Bart added. ‘A 3V client was telling me about a friend whose life savings disappeared from his superannuation account after he refused to allow his daughter to marry a middle-aged JECHIS agent.’
‘Did she want to?’
‘She was fourteen, for fuck’s sake!’
‘Actually,’ Robert said diffidently, ‘I've been thinking about this for a while now, and have been working on an idea.’ He paused as if unsure whether to continue.
‘Well? Get on with it.’
‘We don’t intend to stay here, do we?’
‘No, Robert. We do not!’
‘The problem is how to avoid getting caught if we do anything to upset their apple cart,’ Bart said thoughtfully. ‘I doubt if we can just disappear. Even going to the bank will be enough for them to trace us.’
‘We’re prisoners.’
‘Stop being such a pack of losers,’ Hylas growled. ‘We’ll find a way. What's your idea, Robert?’
‘I've been assuming we’d want to leave sooner or later and find somewhere safer with no public profile, so I worked out a way to break up Arnold’s money and send it in packages around the world a couple of times, ending up in new bank accounts we can access.’
‘They’ll notice it’s gone.’
‘Not if I set the program to trigger the minute we jump ship. On the day we take off, as soon as we’re safe I can send a message that starts the process, and a few hours later all your current accounts will be empty, and new accounts in other institutions will have anonymous deposits in the names of people who are not us. Nothing large enough to attract attention though, so if you trust us we should divide what's left of your fortune into five, then if we each have four different accounts each balance will only be about a million, not an unusual amount. What do you say?’
‘I've no idea what you're talking about, but I agree. If you remember, I wanted to share it all with you guys the day I got it. But are you sure it’ll work?’
‘No. It looks good on paper though. You have to remember that every time you change money from one currency to another you lose, sometimes quite a lot. Banks sell you money for much more than they pay you for it, and charge enormous fees merely for letting it pass through their system, so we could lose up to half the original amount. You started with fifty-five million, spent fifteen on the gym, have gained a million in interest, so, after a dozen transfers, we could end up with between one and two million each.’
‘If we can’t live on that and our wits, then we don’t deserve to live, although I do see one minor problem—how do we get new identities to use the new accounts.’
‘As it happens,’ Robert answered with a wry smile, there’s a family friend, Jeff Skeldrake, who’s a dab hand at benevolent forgery. He taught me a thing or two, which is how Lance got landed with a murder charge. I’ll take Hylas along to amuse his wife while I twist his arm. Susie loves smooth, handsome young men, and if you're lucky, Hylas, she’ll read your cards and tell your fortune.’
‘That'll be brilliant—if it works.’
‘Of course it doesn't, Fortune telling’s a scam.’
‘I know that. I mean getting proper forged documents.’
‘Gotcha. Ok. Raise your hands if you agree. Carried. I’ll get to work tomorrow on details, ready to detonate in three weeks.’
‘Detonate. That’s a mighty fine word,’ Fidel murmured. ‘When we first started, I checked the previous occupations of our new trainers, and discovered that Miguel used to work as an explosives engineer for a mining company in Mount Isa.’ He paused to arrange his thoughts.
‘And…? Spit it out, Fidel.’
‘Well… in three weeks they're going to have a grand opening, according to Tom, Dick and Harry, so I was wondering if we might set up a fireworks display in the basement car park that would literally bring down the house.’
Awed silence.
‘Fidel, I love you!’ Bart was grinning widely. ‘If you and Miguel can set it up that would be brilliant.’
‘Good, I’ll sound him out. We get on well, so I'm sure he’ll help us, especially when I tell him what those bastards are intending and he’ll be losing his job anyway.’
‘Which brings me back to rewarding those six wonderful guys,’ Arnold said with a sigh. ‘We don’t need a couple of million each, Robert. I’d really like it if you could make sure they each get a few hundred thousand to tide them over once we’re gone. Without them Natural Fitness would never have been so successful and I wouldn’t have had the best time in my entire life.’
‘No probs. We pay their salaries directly into their accounts so we can just add a bit extra on the last day. I hoped you'd suggest it.’
‘What're you going to do with this place, Arnold?’ Hylas asked.
‘Donate it to charity?’
‘Charities in this benighted country are all run as profitable arms of religious corporations, so it’d probably end up with JECHIS,’ Bart said gloomily. ‘There’s no way I’d give a cent to official charities. How about ANTaR? They could rent it out, or use it for homeless people. I’d love to see the faces of your neighbours if Aborigines moved in.’
‘Good idea.’
‘Ok, we've sorted the money and our farewell gift, what have we forgotten?’
‘How do we behave when they tell us to do something?’
‘We know they want me to dance, and possibly Arnold, and that probably means getting fucked afterwards as well. Do we go along with that?’
‘Shouldn’t have to if we get our skates on in time for the official opening.’
‘That's an added incentive. And what'll we do if they ask if we believe in god?’
‘Just say yes, like Henry the Fourth of France who said Paris is worth a mass, then converted to Catholicism so he could be crowned.’
‘What’ll we do if they ask us to join?’
‘Join.’
Everyone agreed that until their escape they'd always be obedient, polite and deferential. Hylas and Arnold shrugged acceptance of their probable fate; they weren't innocent young virgins, and could cope with doing it in the greater interest of the planet, so the others weren't to worry about that. If it helped in blowing the bastards up then it would be well worth it.
To make sure they wouldn’t forget to behave correctly, they reconfirmed their vow never to disagree or offer an opinion unless specifically asked for one.
‘We mustn't seem too keen, too easy, too anything. If we play the perfect servants; respectful of our masters, accepting their higher status as their god given right, and agreeing that the world really does need to change… then we’ll survive the next three weeks.
‘And after that? Where’re we going?’
‘Perhaps I'm naïve,’ Arnold said nervously, ‘but I've been assuming we would stick together—the fabulous five… but if you'd sooner… you know, start a normal life with your boyfriends…’
‘Arnold, don’t be a fuckwit! We love you like a brother, and in Fidel’s case it was as a lover for two years. There’s no way we’re going anywhere without you.’
The others echoed Bart’s words and soothed Arnold’s fears of abandonment with hugs, kisses and the usual manly expressions of sincere emotion.
‘We could stay for a day or so in the Sunshine Coast hinterland with the couple who own my apartment. They have no mobile phone, so all communication’s been by landline. I pay rent to a bank, so I don’t see how JECHIS could know about them. After that… hell, something’ll turn up.’
‘You’re a natural planner, Bart.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Can we visit Noosa on the way in case Mum’s gone back there so I can tell her what a murdering slut she is and get that amulet off her?’
‘Sure, and then I want to go as far north as we can, just for the heck of it.’
‘Yeah. An adventure. Too much planning takes the fun and chance out of travel. We’ll just see what happens.’
And so to bed with hearts and minds busy with plans, hopes, and dreams. Robert and Bart in the guest room, Arnold on one side of his king-sized bed, Fidel on the other, and Hylas, who was suddenly desperately in need of a cuddle, in the middle.