Chapter 29 Jane
Between everything my father shared with me yesterday and the excitement of today I barley got any sleep. I couldn't get my mom's voice out of my head not that I wanted to. Every time I closed my eyes I herd her voice. I wish I could of seen her face. I have so many questions for my dad yesterday I was afraid to ask him but not today. I want to know if there are more videos of her or pictures maybe he'll let me see them. I'm so excited to see Gabe and tell him what I've found out about my mom. I reach for my phone to send him his good morning text but to my surprise I've already have a text from him.
Gabe: Good morning Muffin I know you're probably still sleeping. I'll see you in a few hours. Love you.
He send that message at 6 in the morning. I guess I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. I send him my good morning text and hit the shower. I have a breakfast date I'm looking forward too. I walk into the dinning room ready to eat breakfast with my family but find the room empty. That's weird it's 9 everyone is usually down by this time. Well since I'm already here I might as well help Nina with breakfast. “Do you need any help Nina?” I ask as I walk into the kitchen. There is no one in here either. The kitchen is spotless it looks like no one has been here since yesterday. Where the hell is everyone? Did they forget to tell me we were going out to eat? I know one person that would be in bed still at this hour.
“Prima,” I knock on her door but no one answers. She is probably in the shower. I walk in to find her bed empty and all ready made. Something is definite wrong Sam is always the last one to get up she hates mornings as much as I do. Maybe she went out with Raul that is the only way she would be up at this time. Since my dad isn't in his room there is only one other place he can be. I walk downstairs and knock on his office door “Papi?”.
Since when do I knock? I push the door open to find the office empty just like every room in the house. Did something happen while I was sleeping? I can't shake the feeling that there is something wrong. I've been feeling like this since yesterday it felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around me.
I walk over to my father's desk maybe I can find something to help me figure out what the hell is going on. The first thing that catches my eye is a white envelope leaning against a photo frame of my father and me. In front of the envelope the word Princess is written in my father's hand writing. My hearts drops to my stomach I have a bad feeling about this. The room starts to spin and my legs start to shake. I need to sit down. I pull my dad's chair out and take a seat. I don't know if it's just me but I can still smell my father's cologne on the chair. Did he leave this here for me to see it or was he going to give it to me later?
No, he knew that if I saw this I would open it on the spot. He left it here on purpose he knows me. Why didn't he just give it to me yesterday? Enough with all this damn questions let's see what's inside this damn envelope. With shaky hands I reach for the envelope.
Dear Princess,
You must be asking yourself where the hell is everyone? Well last night after our little talked I realized that there was no way I would be able to watch you leave again so I decided to leave before you. I was to much of a coward to say goodbye to you in person so I'm doing it over this letter. I guess the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree huh? When I first held you in my arms I thought that the hardest part about being a parent was to provide and keep you safe but turns out I was wrong. The hardest thing about being a parent is to watch you grow up and not need me anymore. If it was up to me I would keep you locked up to protect you from any harm but look where that got me last time. I know that you still have a lot of questions and there are a lot of things that you still don't know but I'm sure you'll find out soon. I wish I could be there with you to answer any questions you'll have but for right now I can't. All I can tell you is that not everything in life is white or black there is always colors in between. Princess keep your mind open and don't believe everything you read or see. You're a smart girl always listen to your instinct. Brains is outside waiting for you he'll be taking you to the airport. This isn't a good bye we will see each other again very soon I promise and that's when I will tell you everything you want to know. Take care Princess love you always and for ever don't forget that.
With much love your,
Dad
What the hell is he talking about I don't need him no more? I'm always going to need him he is my dad! They left with out saying bye to me. That's why they were all acting weird yesterday. They all knew they were leaving and didn't say a word to me. It hurts to know I won't be able to say goodbye to them the proper way. Why does it feel like I'm never going to see them again? My dad said this wasn't a goodbye but that is exactly what it feels like. What truth is he talking about? Is he talking about my mom or something else I don't know?
I don't know how many times I read the letter over and over again trying to get some closure. Funny how karma works first I was the writer and now I'm the reader. He didn't even tell me where they were going. I know that if I call Sam she would tell me. I reach for my phone and dial her number. “Come on Sam answer” I chant as I pace back and forth. “Ya know what to do after the beep bitches” her voice mail comes out. Maybe she didn't hear it I try fooling myself as I redial her number. “Come on pick up the fucking phone” I yell to no one. “Ya kno-” I hang up and slam my phone against the desk. I don't even bother calling my dad he won't answer. It's to early for some scotch so I vote for coffee instead. I'm afraid that if I start with the scotch I won't be able to stop. I fold the letter back into the envelope and take it with me. I walk in to the kitchen and start the coffee. I open the fridge to get some milk and find my bowl of fruits waiting for me. Even with everything going on Nina still found the time to leave me my breakfast. My eyes start filling up with tears as my emotions start catching up with me. I never notice how empty I feel with out them. I wish I can go back and enjoy my time with my family.
“Find anything interest to watch?” Brains ask from behind me. I close the fridge and look over to him with tears in my eyes. “Need a hug?” he opens his arms for me. I nod as I dive in for the hug. That is exactly what I need right now. I need some one to tell me everything is going to be okay. “Everything is going to be fine bug” he calls me by the child nick name he gave me. He named me bug because he said I was always bothering him like a fly in a summer day and never went away even when he shoo me. “Do you know where they are?” I talk into his chest. I'm trying to control myself before pulling away. “No but I will be reunited with them later” he strokes my hair. Brain is one of the toughest man I've ever met but he always has had a soft spot for me. I know he is telling me the truth even if he did know where they were he wouldn't tell me unless my father gives him permission.
“Can you tell I love them all?” I ask. He pats my back “Will do now go change I don't think it's dress season in New York just yet”. He is right I should go change. I nod my head “You're right see you in a few” I say as I run upstairs. Since I'm going to be in a plane for about 20 hours I decided to wear a long sleeve shirt and a pair of sweats. I put my hair up in a ponytail and don't even bother with makeup. I grab my bag and take a last look around the room even tho I was here for a few months this never felt like my room.
I never felt like I belong here. I'm glad to be leaving this place and every bad memory I had behind me.“Are you ready Bug?” Brains yells from downstairs. “Coming” I turn off the lights and close the door behind me never looking back. To think that this is my last time in this house is mind blowing. “I'll take that” Brains reaches for my bags as I follow him towards the car. The only thing keeping me together is knowing that I will be in Gabe's arm in just a few minutes. I take out my phone and send him a message letting him know I'm on my way.
I stare out the window and get lost in my thoughts. What was my father trying to tell me with out telling me? Why does he always have to be a mystery? Why can't he just come out and say what it's on his mind? I feel my phone vibrate and I quickly open the message
Gabe: Finally I've been waiting for you for ever.
As I read the message I can't help but to smile. He has been waiting for me all along. He never once pressure me into making the decision of leaving with him. He always gave me space to make my own decision. I have no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision for me. Even tho Gabe had a lot to do with my decision in leaving it's not all because of him. I want to be in control of my life and this is the only way I can do it. “We're here” Brain parks the car in front of the airport. I didn't even realized we were driving. I send Gabe a text to let him know I'm here.
“Here you go bug” Brains hands me my bag as I hop off the car. “Wait you're not coming in with me?” I ask confuse, I thought he was going to come inside with me. “I'm going inside but we're going our separate ways” he says. Now that makes more sense. I don't want him to see Gabe and I'm sure he doesn't want to be seen either. “Okay well thanks for everything,” I hug him goodbye. At least I get to say bye to him. I feel my eyes burning again but I refuse to cry I need to be strong. “You're welcome bug now go inside” he shoves me away. I give him a smile and walk away as soon as I walk inside the airport I see Gabe walking towards me. He is wearing a white t-shirt with dark jeans and his leather jacket that drives me crazy. My heart starts to raise and the butterflies start back up in my stomach. I have to fight myself not to run into his arms.
“I was just coming to get you” he smiles and my heart warms up. I'm so happy to see him everything feels right when he is around. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. I rest my head on his chest and smell him in. Now this is my home this is exactly where I belong. Just being in his arms makes every doubt disappear from my head he makes me feel safe. “I've missed you” he tries pulling away but I fight him. I'm not ready to go back to the real world just yet. “What's wrong Muffin?” he ask as he twirls my hair around his finger. I don't have the strength to tell him everything right now. I'm hanging on from a piece of thread if I tell him I'll crack. “I'll tell you later can you just hold me?” I say with tears in my throat.
“Always baby let's go check you in” he says as we walk. I love that he can just drop this conversation for right now. I know that he'll ask me again later. “Hi Jane,” Logan greets me with a contagious smile. “Hi Logan” I great him with my own smile. “That's much better now come give me a hug” he opens his arms. I smile and walk into his arms even hugging him makes me feel better. Over this few weeks Logan and I have really gotten to know each other. We have this bond between us that I never had with any one else. I see him as the brother I never had.
“Well guess what?” Gabe says as he comes back from checking us in. “What?” Logan and I both ask at the same time. Gabe pulls me out of Logan's arms causing me to giggle “Our flight got pushed up so it seems like we're actually boarding right now” he continues once I was tuck under his arm. “Really?” Logan ask with one eyebrow raised. I have a feeling my dad had something to do with this. “Yea so let's go” Gabe give Logan a small nod that I'm sure I wasn't suppose to see. I wonder what that was about? I can't believe this is really happening after I cross this metal detective I'm a free woman and this time it's for real. I can finally put every bad memory behind me.
“Please follow me,” a cute blond says “your jet is waiting for you” she smiles at Gabe, but since he don't pay attention to her she moves to Logan, who gives her the same attention as Gabe. “Jet?” Logan ask Gabe, who just shrugs his shoulders but give him a look. What the hell is up with all these damn nods and looks? It's starting to piss me off.
Once we step outside I find my father's jet waiting for us it's just like him to think ahead of me. “I'm guessing your uncle had something to do with this?” Gabe turns to me. Oh god if he only knew who really send it he wouldn't even be getting on the jet. I feel my ears starting to burn I don't want to lie to him any more but I have too, well at least this time. “Yeah I'm sorry” I say shyly. “Don't be I don't mind if that makes you feel comfortable,” he wraps his large arm around my waist “are you ready to board Misses. Carter?” he ask. I wrap my arms around his neck “Actually it's Misses. Santana” I correct him.
I have to admit that it feels great to be able to say my real name out loud. I was starting to miss it. “Misses. Santana it fits you” he says as he leans in for a kiss. With everything that was going on I forget to give him a kiss. I part my lips and he twirls is tongue inside my mouth causing my knees to feel like jello. “I swear you two are like rabbits” Logan says from behind us. Gabe tries pulling away from me but I wrap my arms around his neck to keep him in place. I'm not ready to let go of him just yet.
“Aww how cute” I hear some one say as they clap. I break away from Gabe feeling embarrassed that we got caught with our tongues down each others throat. I turn to apologizes and that's when I feel all color leave my face. Mark and Raul are standing a few feet away pointing their guns at us. “What the hell are ya doing here?” I ask my voice coming out a little shaky. This can't be happening right now. I was so close. Raul sends a wink my way but I'm to shock to even react. What the hell is going on? Where is my dad?