Finding Beautiful by Amanda Kaitlyn - HTML preview

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Twenty Three

 

My eyes open after a long and restful sleep and I reach out for Gavin’s warmth next to me, but when my hand touches cold sheets, I look over to see the empty space beside me. Where is he? I wrap the sheets around me and my feet shuffle down the hallway to where I hear Gavin speaking on the phone. He must be in his office, I think to myself. I was hoping that he didn’t have to go back to work so quickly, but I know his work is important, vital to the man I love and I wouldn’t want to ever change that. So, I settle in to make some coffee and skim my fingers over the bookshelves lining the walls in the spacious living room.

I’ve never seen Gavin with a book in his hand and it surprises me that he has such a large collection. Charles Dickens, Ray Donovan, Marie Barnes, Nicholas Sparks, the authors range from one genre to another and somehow I know that most of these couldn’t be Gavin’s. I couldn’t imagine him reading a full length novel like Great Expectations. He thrives on action, solving problems, making strides in whatever he is focused on at the present. Sitting with a book for any length of time would be a rarity for him.

"There she is," Gavin says as he wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the side of my head.

His warm hands make tingles spread over my bare skin. I point to a Nicholas Sparks novel, The Notebook.

"Are you hiding a romantic side of you? Or is that Callie’s?"

My voice is teasing and when he doesn’t answer me right away I turn in his arms and skim my fingers down his firm arms to where he’s holding me around the middle.

"My grandmother’s. She loved to read. She always told me that whenever she was feeling down, she’d lose herself in a different world. It was her escape." His voice is wistful and I can hear how much he still misses her. I want to say so many things. I’m sorry. She sounds so wonderful. You miss her, don’t you? But I don’t say any of those things, I wrap my arms around his back and press my face into his bare chest. For a beat, I just hold him. But then Gavin sighs and presses his cheek against the top of my head. He holds me gently, but fiercely.

"She would have loved you."

"I would have loved her." I lift my eyes to his and I smile shyly.

"I know, baby." He takes my hand and tugs me into his arms so he can kiss me. I nibble his bottom lip and it ignites a moan from his parted mouth.

"Bed." He growls, making my core tighten in anticipation. But I know it’s time to get back to the real world, work and my inevitable problem of a career. It’s time.

"I’d love to, but I have that meeting this morning. You know the one I put off yesterday to spend the day in your bed?"

Gavin pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear and grins, his eyes on mine.

"It’s time, huh?"

"I guess so. Shower with me?" I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze up in those smiling eyes of his.

"Yes, Beautiful. "

***

A little while later, Farah meets me outside King’s Bar and Grill with a big ole smile on her face.

"Hey, sweets! You look happy." She comes over to me and I link arms with her as we walk towards the entrance. It feels good to spend some time with my best friend after all that’s happened in the last three days. I tell her about Gavin and Jasmine and the call from Mr. Pearson while we wait for our waiter. She leans over and gives me a tight hug.

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My heart leaps, remembering the pain of seeing Jasmine lock lips with the man I love so fresh in my mind. I couldn’t breathe at the sight of them. But now that I know the truth, I can’t help but blame myself for all that time we were apart and inevitably – the accident.

"Yes, he is. I feel so stupid knowing all that time – the truth? She kissed him, and I didn't know because I didn't let him explain the night I saw them kiss." I’m still mad at myself for that.

We sit in a corner booth by the bay windows facing the far side of East End and she looks at me, understanding.

"It wasn’t your fault, you know that right?"

I fold my hands in my lap and tell myself that she’s right.

"Yeah, I know. I was so scared, Fay."

"How - do you know what happened?"

"I guess a loader truck ran through a red light on I-22 and hit the driver’s side of Gavin's Lexus.

Then a jeep hit him head on, the doctors said if it wasn't for the airbags… he could be…." I can't bring myself to say the rest. The outcome is so unthinkable to me. Farah clasps my hand across the table, her wide eyes filled with worry.

"Don't think about that. He's okay, right?" I nod, remembering his bright smile and heated eyes this morning. He’s okay and we’re stronger than ever. We’re together.

"Very much so, he's catching up on work today."

"Have you talked to him about Jasmine? About what you saw?"

"I did. He told me that she kissed him and that’s what I saw. I know he has no feelings for that girl." That’s one thing I am absolutely sure of.

She eyes me speculatively, strumming a hand across the wooden table. I know she wants to say something. I sigh and tilt my head to the side.

"What?" I ask, knowing she has to speak her mind.

"You should make it clear to her who he belongs to, Aria. Girls like that don't care if he's taken. She might not stop unless she knows that you’re not letting Gavin go."

Oh, my. I didn't think about this before, but I do know I trust him. If she becomes a problem, then I'll have words with her. That's for sure.

"I'll think about it. I just want to focus on Gavin right now. If I'd lost him-I don't know if I could have gone on." The devastation of that is still so raw for me.

Farah’s eyes immediately soften and she nods, squeezing my hand.

"Don't think about it, he's okay now. Do you want to order? I'm just going to run to the bathroom real quick."

"Sure, you want a Pepsi? Or something stronger?"

She winks at me and slides out of the booth.

"A Blue Moon, please."

I watch her go and close my eyes briefly, reminding myself to breathe with the memory of Gavin in that hospital bed so fresh in my mind. My phone begins to ring in my jean's pocket and I pull it out, seeing Gavin's name flashing upon the screen. My heart lifts.

"Hi, handsome," I say, hoping he doesn’t hear the thread of uneasiness in my voice.

"Hey, baby. How's your lunch?"

"Good, Farah's got some big news to tell me. I told her about everything. She's been pulling for you all this time."

He chuckles, enticing me to bite my lip when I remember our shower this morning.

"Happy to hear that." He laughs again, and I swear I could listen to that sound for the rest of my life . God, I love his carefree laugh. I love that it comes from deep in his chest, it’s never forced. I love the sound of it against my ear when I’m resting my head against him at night.

"I love your laugh," I whisper. I can practically feel his smile on the other side of the line.

"Is that all you love about me, Aria?" His voice is gravelly with that southern charm that always makes me weak in the knees.

"Among many more, Gavin."

In the background I hear his office phone ring and he sighs. He must be at Thomas because I hear the hustle of motion around the phone.

"I have a call, see you soon."

"Okay."

I hang up just as a blonde waitress with amber colored eyes approaches, smiling warmly.

"I'm Daniela, I’ll be your server today. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, can I get a Blue Moon and a diet Pepsi?"

"Sure, here's your menu. Take your time, I'll be back with your drinks shortly."

I smile and take the two menus she hands me as she heads towards the kitchen. Farah comes back and flicks through the menu with me, laughing about the lovey-dovey couple sitting behind us.

"So what’s this news you have?" I ask, filled with curiosity.

She beams up at me and sets her menu down, her eyes bright and full of joy suddenly.

"Well…" She takes a sip of her Blue Moon and her eyes are filled with happiness. There is no doubt or uncertainty that I’ve seen since she’s met Jaden. He’s so good to her and I know she is happy but I also know that it’s hard for her to believe in happily ever afters and forever’s. She’s never been that kind of girl.

She deserves it, though. A happy ending, just like the rest of us.

"I’m moving in with Jaden. He asked me last night."

My jaw drops open and I immediately reach over and squeeze her hand.

"Oh my God, and you waited all this time to tell me?" She grins brightly and I can see how happy she is, now I know why.

"Well, I figured I’d let you be curious for a bit. Anticipation is the best part isn’t it?"

"Not on this! How did he ask you?" She tells me how Jaden put a key on her key ring and told her that he didn’t want to be away from her anymore.

"I’m so happy for you, Farah," I say into a bite of my food only moments later.

"I know, sweets. It’s a good thing."

After a delicious BLT and over-sized portion of French fries and a smoothie to split, we head over to Gold's Gym to meet with Kel. My meeting with the recruiter is at three so I’ll have time for a workout with my two best girls.

"So what are you going to do about Grayson?"

I look over to Farah who's driving my KIA. I shrug, knowing there’s not much I can do.

"Not much I can do. I lost the spot, Farah. I can’t expect another opportunity like that. I did schedule an appointment with that recruiter you mentioned. It’s at three so hopefully he’ll have some suggestions for me."

"You’ll find something, Ari. You live to dance, after all."

A surge of pride comes through me, knowing that my best friend sees how much dancing, my passion, means to me. I honestly don’t know what I would do without it.

By the time I come out of the locker room, dressed in yoga pants and a stretch top I’d bought last month, I see that Kel is going double time on the treadmill. She looks up as I approach with Farah on my heels.

"Hey! What took you so long?"

"Have you eaten at that new pub in the center? It’s hard to say no to food that good!"

I go over to her as she stands on the sides of the machine, wrapping me in a tight hug before leaning back and winking at me and then she waves over to Farah who's already working on her stretches across the gym.

"How's the man?" Kel asks through breaths as she runs.

I look over to her, starting the treadmill beside her. I set it to walk for a while so I can warm up.

"Wonderful, as always. How's Luke?"

"Good. He's working on his thesis for school today. I swear that man is smarter than me any day of the week," she says on a laugh, her voice going soft with affection when she talks about him.

I laugh, happy to see my sister so carefree again.

"That’s only because you waste all your brain cells with little kids at that daycare."

She scoffs, waving her hand in the air playfully. I set the treadmill to jog and start in on a run. it feels good to stretch my muscles and feel the burn of exertion after spending so much time sitting in that hospital waiting for Gavin to wake up. I don’t ever want to do that again.

"You’re one to talk. You graduated with a 3.6 GPA from Julliard yet you spend all your time at a dance studio, Ms. Morgan! And it’s a preschool, by the way."

I stick my tongue out and set the speed even faster as I pop my headphones into my ears. I tease her about being a preschool teacher, but inwardly I’m so proud of her. She loves those kids like her own.

They are so lucky to have such a deeply caring person to teach them.

"You’re just jealous you can’t dance." I flick my eyes over to her and she’s pretending to ignore me.

She really can’t dance. My sister is good at so many things but that. She turns to me and narrows her eyes.

"But I can face-paint like a pro!" Her snarky response makes me burst into laughter and soon Kel stops her running to catch her breath and I hear her laughing, too.

After a long workout, I’m filled with energy for my meeting in only an hour. We make our way to the locker rooms and chat a little about the wedding while we change. I brought a knee length white skirt and simple collared shirt to wear for my meeting this afternoon.

"I thought we could go over the guest list for a bit. Do you want to go back to my place or yours?"

Kel asks, already veering me towards her Jeep. I’m searching for my sunglasses in the depths of my too-large purse when I stop short and realize I haven’t told her about my meeting.

"I have the meeting with the career adviser today. I can meet you after if you want?"

She looks at me then, her face spread into a proud smile.

"Oh, of course! Come on, I’ll drive and wait for you, OK?"

I nod, a little relieved to have the support. It means the world to me that she believes in me.

We pull up to the address that Kel texted me and Innovative Solutions is on the third floor of an office building just outside of downtown. My stomach tightens and knots with nerves. What are they going to say? Maybe I really have lost my dream forever and they’ll send me packing. I bunch my fingers together and tell myself that it’s all going to be OK.

"Hey." Kel grasps my hand and squeezes gently. I look up and see her brown eyes are filled with understanding.

"You’ve got this, Ari." Three words and she boosts my spirits. I nod and smile at her, knowing how much she worries after everything that’s happened over this past year.

I peck my sister’s cheek and smooth the flow skirt I’m wearing down my thighs as I walk to the front doors of the building. As I make my way into the elevator, I feel my phone buzz with a text message.

Warmth spreads through me when I see it’s from Gavin.

Good luck, baby.

His message brings a smile to my face. He could say so many things, but I know it’s his way of telling me that no matter what, he’s here for me. I think I knew that in my heart already, but having the reminder gives me even more determination when I come to the third floor and I’m met with a large sign with simple cursive words written over what looks like a crescent moon. Before getting off the elevator, I type a quick reply to Gavin.

I’ve got this

Soon, I come to a reception desk in a well-lit room. It’s open on either side, hallways going one way to numerous offices while the other side leads to a large seating area for clients, I’m guessing.

"What can I do for you, Miss?" A young man, maybe twenty-one or so, wearing a checkered shirt and a deep green tie asks me, smiling friendly.

"Hi, yes. My name is Aria. I’m here to see Scott."

He nods and picks up a phone to make a call.

"Mr. Hayes? Ms. Aria Morgan is here"

I wait patiently while he speaks lowly into the phone and then he nods and tells me to go to the fourth office on the right. I smile and thank him, then head off towards Scott’s office.

I knock twice then open the door to see a blond haired man with hazel eyes intently focused on a stack of papers in front of him.

"Oh! I didn’t see you come in. Please sit, Ms. Morgan. It’s great to finally meet you." He clasps my hand and shakes it as I come toward his desk.

I take a seat across from him and answer a few questions, mostly about my time at Julliard, what I’m looking for in the future, what my dream job would be. It’s so easy to talk about what I love, but the whole time I’m speaking with him, I’m trying to pinpoint why Scott or Mr. Hayes looks so familiar. I can’t think of anything in particular, but I know I recognize him from somewhere. An eerie awareness settles in me, but I try to shake it off as he begins to jot things down the more I talk. Then he leans back in his chair and nods.

"I’ll obviously have to make some calls, but there is an up and coming ballet that is looking for some new talent. It’s called Alas the Night. Is that something you’d be interested in?"

I’m immediately thrilled. I’ve done recreational dancing, professional dancing with a troupe I’d joined back when I was studying, but it was always my dream to dance in the spotlight. The ballet. I hastily nod my head and beam with a smile so wide it hurts.

"That’s the dream," I say simply and with the nod of Scott’s head, I know he understands.

The moment I get back in my sister’s car, she sees my wide, happy smile.

"Things go okay?" She asks as she starts the car. Her eyes are trained on me and I bet she knows already that the meeting went well.

"Things are looking up," I say and wink at her so she can see my smile. I feel hopeful that I haven’t lost my only opportunity in the dance world after-all.

I lead us up the steps toward Gavin’s penthouse, ours actually.

"Why would you hesitate to move in here? This is so…"

Kel stops talking as we make it to the top level of the hallway and can see through the glass doors and into the penthouse. All you can see is hardwood floors and a too big leather couch that sits in the center of the living room.

"Oh my God, can I live here?" She’s gushing over how amazing it is and I have to agree with her.

The idea of making this home with the man I love thrills me. Though, I'm still getting used to the idea that this penthouse is home. One thing that has always felt like home is being with Gavin. Wherever he is, that’s home.

"Holy shit, this is nice. Can I get a tour?" She’s practically salivating by the time we walk through the sparse living room and kitchen.

I grab my gym bag back from her hand and I’m nodding. How could I say no?

"Come on."

I lead her into each room and notice Kel's eyes light up when she sees the windows and fireplace along the far walls of the large living area Gavin insisted on when he found this place.

"He really likes the cherry wood, huh?" She asks, running her hand over the railing between the dining room and living area. The style of this place surprised me, too, when I first set foot here. But now, I couldn’t think of one thing I’d want to change.

"It’s modern. I like it too, Kel."

She nods, setting our bags down by the couch and following me towards the kitchen.

"I love it. Where is my favorite Billionaire?"

I giggle, tossing her a FUSE water from the fridge and I let her sit after such a vigorous workout.

"In his office I think. Make yourself at home. I'll be right back," I say, making my way down the hallway towards his study.

I hear the faint strains of Yellow by Coldplay echoing from inside. I knock twice, softly, and open the door to see Gavin sitting at his desk, his office phone pressed to his ear. His eyes flick up to mine and his face transforms from guarded businessman to the loving man I've come to know. Hanging up the phone, he smiles, and outstretches his hand to me.

"Hi, baby," he murmurs and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping an arm around my waist. I grin, leaning down to capture his ruggedly handsome face in my hands, reveling in the smooth skin of his cheeks and jaw now that he's shaved.

"You still working?" I ask, sinking my hands into his mussed up hair. He shakes his head, running his lips against mine achingly slow. Oh, he loves to tease.

"All finished. Did I hear Kel come in with you?" I nod and kiss the corner of his mouth just because I can’t help wanting to touch him when we’re this close. Gavin smiles wider and stands with me in his arms. He takes my hand in his again and leads me out of his office.

"You like Cold play? I thought you were more of a Counting Crows man."

He grins, kissing my lips softly as we walk towards the kitchen.

"I have many favorites. How was your lunch?"

I blink up at him and I’m smiling. Gavin dips his lips to mine once more and I feel him smiling, too.

"Good" Is all he says as we make our way out of his office.

Kel sits at the kitchen island, sipping her water when we enter.

She lights up seeing us together. She’s always rooted for Gavin, from the beginning.

"Feeling okay?" She asks as she gets up and kisses Gavin on the cheek. Oh, wow. Why does that make me feel just a tad jealous? Weird.

"Good as new. You like the apartment?"

She nods, grabbing her bag and pulling out three binders filled with samples from her wedding planner. Uh, oh. This might take a while.

"It’s very homey, much unexpected. Care to help with some wedding planning?"

Gavin chuckles, winking down at me. He whispers in my ear, letting his breath fall across my face.

"Do we have a choice?"

"Uh, no."

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"With lime, please."

Gruffly running a hand down his neck, I see he’s affected just before he heads towards the fridge where he grabs three beers.

"Does it really matter, Kel?" I ask, taking a swig of beer as she flicks through samples of ballads for the bride and groom's first dance. She’s spent fifteen minutes on the same page.

"Of course it matters! Gavin back me up here, Isn't the first slow dance the most important?"

He sits behind me on the carpeted floor, his legs around mine, his arm wrapped around my middle and his chin resting upon my shoulder. I feel his grin beside me, amused by my sister’s bridezilla-like persona.

"It is, but it should be a song that tells exactly the way you two feel about each other. A ballad, maybe."

I'm surprised by his sincere words and I lean into his embrace even more. He's actually thought about this? But then it occurs to me, he's been engaged before.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I didn't think of this before, of course. It’s the perfect song." She exclaims, practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

"What song?" I ask, giggling when Gavin nips down on my earlobe, invoking my core to tighten deliciously.

Just with that small tease, I'm breathy and wanton for him again.

"You and Me by Lifehouse. It was playing at my senior prom when we danced for the first time.

Do you think Lucas will like it?" Her voice is filled with excitement.

I smile, remembering how happy she was that night. She came home on cloud nine after Lucas told her he loved her for the first time.

"Honey, that is perfect. He'll love it."

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"I just have to choose the centerpieces, take a look."

She hands me the blue binder, opened to one of the last pages. It’s full of pictures of centerpieces, some with flowers in the middle and there's one toward the bottom of the page with an open heart, plated in gold with roses surrounding the circular base of the piece. It’s gorgeous.

"I like this one, you could even get your initials attached at the bottom of the tail. What do you think?" I move the binder to my lap so Gavin can see it over my shoulder.

Gavin and Kel look down at where I'm pointing and my sister’s face lights up, slightly blushing.

She loves it, I can tell.

"Perfect! Thank you Aria!" She kisses my cheek and then looks behind my shoulder to Gavin, my eyes flick up to his also. They're stormy blue, filled with amusement and that soft gaze I love so much.

"I like it, it's thoughtful yet romantic. Definitely the piece I like best. Good choice, baby." His voice is filled with praise and I press a kiss to his palm as Kel hastily packs up her stuff and jams it into her pocketbook.

"I have to go meet Lucas. You want to meet up tomorrow?"

I get up and hug her, then walk her towards the entrance.

"I'll call you."

She smiles then hugs Gavin quickly before closing the door behind her, leaving me and my man alone once again. I grin, it's so nice seeing her so happy. She deserves it.

"Now what should we do with ourselves, hmm?" Gavin's husky voice whispers in my ear as he kisses my knuckles from beside me. My eyes flick to his and I bite my lip, a whole range of ideas going through my head.

"I can think of a few things, I'm sure."

I take his hand and watch as his eyes heat with longing. It’s crazy how just being in the same room as him elicits such a reaction in my body.

"We only have forty five minutes until we have to leave for dinner, baby."

I lead him into the bedroom, my eyes never leaving his and I lock the door behind me, leaning up against the solid wood frame.

"That's plenty of time."

And before I know it, he drops to his knees in front of me and slips two fingers into the belt loops of my jeans. Oh! My legs feel like jelly as I take a step towards him and see the desire in his blue-gray eyes.

He undoes the button and slides the zipper down ever-so-slowly until the band of my jeans is opened, hanging loosely from my hips.

"I've wanted you all day, Beautiful. I love undressing you."

His voice is deep with hunger and everything south of my belly tightens in want.

"Gavin, take them off" I whisper, my hands settling on his shoulders as he glides the fabric over my hips, past my upper thighs and down my calves. The slow way he takes them off makes me breathless.

"Let me take your sneakers off."

I step out of them and he guides each of my red colored converses out of the jeans, then tosses them to the side. When his hands close over the edge of my black boy-short panties, his mouth runs along my lower belly. I moan loudly, feeling my desire for him between my partially parted legs. I clench my core, feeling my need to feel him inside me again. His tongue runs up my stomach and he slips my panties over my hips, letting them fall to the floor effortlessly.

"Take your shirt off and then go to the bed and lie down for me, Beautiful."

I graze my teeth over my bottom lip, hearing his voice filled with hunger as he gazes up at me. I look down at him, reaching for the hem of my blouse. His eyes watch me hungrily as I lift the fabric easily and slip it over my head. God, I want him so bad.

"Okay…"

I push off from the door and undo my bra before climbing across the made bed, lying down with my head pressed to the pillows.

"I love looking at you." he says, crawling over me and grazing his mouth against mine.

"I want you, Gavin."

He grins, running his hands down my sides until they rest on my upper thighs.

"You. Are. Mine. "The words are said in between kisses as he parts my legs until I feel the ache so present between them that I moan, my eyes closing in pleasure. His lips suck along my neck, over my collarbone and keep wandering until they adore my breasts, sucking one of my nipples into his mouth.

I groan, tangling my hands into his hair as he unleashes his tongue and moves lower, towards my belly. My legs part wider, my hips lifting up towards his in invitation. He bites down on my earlobe, making me open my eyes as he presses his mouth to mine once more. I bind myself to him, my hands deftly undoing his pants and he chuckles, grazing his lips over mine as he pushes his slacks down his legs, kicks them off, and presses himself against my aching entrance.

Oh, my. I've never felt this way before, as if I'm drawn to this man with every fiber of my being. As if he's my reason for existing, but maybe he is.

"You feel so good…" I whisper, wrapping my legs around his and grasping onto his shoulders when he hovers over me, his mouth pressed to my temple.

"I know, baby. Here."

Suddenly, he's inside me, slipping deep into my sex and gliding out easily with how wet I am for him. He groans when he’s seated fully inside, tilts my head back with a hand on the side of my face and dips his head as he takes my mouth hungrily, cradling my face with his hands as he pushes in and out, back and forward. He’s creating a steady rhythm, a heavenly rhythm that has me climbing higher and higher, my core tightening and my limbs grasping onto him in such need. His tongue slips into my mouth and he moans deep in his throat, his breath reverberating through my parted lips as he slips out and pushes into me once more. Feeling him so deep inside me, with his hot minty breaths along my collarbone - it's intoxicating and teeth clenching good.

"Oh God, Gavin!" I call out, my mouth parting and my body tightening cathartic ally as I find my release, a quick forceful orgasm that makes my toes curl and my stomach flip in such pleasure. It goes on, my eyes flicking up to Gavin's as he rears up over me, his mouth forming an O as he comes, calling out my name over and over again until he collapses on top of me. He covers my upturned face with butterfly kisses, tenderly, and doesn't let go.

"Have I ever told you that you amaze me, Aria?" he whispers, pressing his head to my stomach as he hugs me tight and holds on. My hands tangle