Finding Beautiful by Amanda Kaitlyn - HTML preview

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Thirty

 

I wake to see sunlight pouring in through the tall windows in our bedroom; the light casts shadows along the side of Gavin’s face where it’s turned facing me while he sleeps. I reach over and skate one finger down the side of his cheek, over the course stubble he’s grown since the last time he shaved. The hair under my fingers tickles my skin and I feel the tug of his mouth when he wakes.

"You’re staring, Beautiful."

His voice is groggy with sleep and slides over my ears like velvet. Lying here with the man I love, I know that I’m safe with him. I trust him to keep me safe, no matter what happens. I smile softly and lean closer to him to catch the smell of his minty musky man smell and it smells of home.

"Good morning." I whisper against his lips and have to stifle a moan when he licks the seam of my lips, laying soft lips over mine. Sighing into his kiss, I open to him.

"Definitely a good morning so far," Gavin whispers against my mouth and I can feel his smile. His hand slides from my hair to my bare breasts and he flicks his thumb over each one, creating a desire deep inside.

"Gavin…" I warn, knowing that I missed the rehearsal dinner last night though with everything that’s happened I know my sister and our friends will understand. But Kel has always been there for me, beside me through everything that’s happened in this last year and I should have been there last night to cheer her on. What kind of horrible sister am I that I couldn’t show up on the night before her wedding?

"Hey, what’s wrong, baby?" Gavin lowers one hand to my waist and he takes hold of my hip to pull me closer.

I blink up into his eyes and see concern there.

"The rehearsal, I missed it. Kel must be so pissed."

I see the understanding register in his eyes and he squeezes my hip to comfort me.

"Let’s head over to the church early and you can tell her what’s happened. I’m sure she’ll understand. Your safety comes first, Aria."

Pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, Gavin leads me out of bed and toward the kitchen once we’ve changed into casual clothes.

"I’ll order from the bakery so we don’t have to cook. Sound good?"

I nod, take a hold of Gavin’s hand and press it to my lips.

"I’ll give her a call now. When do you want to speak with Spencer?"

"He can come down after you’ve eaten. You know you don’t have to go through all of this with him if you don’t want to. But it could help to better protect you if he knows the kind of man they’re looking for."

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***

 I’m still working on the last of my cinnamon raisin bagel when Spencer knocks three times on the front door. Gavin squeezes my hand gently across the table before he goes over to answer the door. The two men shake hands and I see that he is dressed in faded jeans and a blue Dolphins tee, much different from his usual attire. But, it is a Friday afternoon and he must have a personal life of his own. His piercing green eyes meet mine and one side of his mouth lifts in an almost smile.

"Good to see you, Ms. Morgan. Are you doing OK?"

There is genuine concern in his voice and I nod. Gavin pulls me into his side and looks down at me as he speaks to Spencer.

"We need to go over everything we’re going to do to keep her safe. He should have never gotten close to the front door, Spencer. How did that happen?"

I hear the strain in his voice when he asks this and I also see the crease in his eyebrows that tells me he’s trying to reign in his temper.

"I believe he either had the flowers delivered or used an alias on the car he drove into the complex.

The security camera footage I saw was clear. There is no way Williams himself delivered them."

Gavin nods, registering the information and leads me to sit on the couch with him snugly next to me. Spencer instead sits on the ottoman angled towards us and continues to go over each and every detail he’s obtained from the security footage of both the front lobby in our complex and the back parking lot.

He’d have to enter through one of them and there was no sighting of Bryce at all. That fact lightens the fear weighing in my chest that he was in our home. But he was still able to get those flowers and the note to me and that is scary all on its own. If he could have gotten into the penthouse, what could have happened? As that thought registers in my mind, a chill covers my skin.

"Aria, are you OK? Do you need to stop?"

Gavin urges me to look at him with a finger under my chin and when I do, I shake my head quickly.

"I’m good. Don’t stop on my account. What can we do to make sure he doesn’t get close again?" I aim my question to Spencer though I don’t take my eyes away from Gavin’s. The intensity in them steals my breath.

"Well, both Mr. Thomas and I agree that making sure you are never – for any reason-left by yourself is a must. We already have Aaron following you, but I also want to bring on two more guards to stay in the penthouse when you’re here on your own. There will be at least one of us, sometimes two if needs fit."

Is it really needed to have two men with me? Even when Gavin is with me? My mind is working on overdrive trying to process our current situation.

"But, there is another option. One I think would work much better," Gavin whispers the words near my ear and I turn towards him, looking up.

"What?"

Gavin takes my hands gently in his and soothes his thumbs over my knuckles. He looks at me solemnly; his blue gray eyes the only thing I can focus on.

"Come away with me."

His wide, unblinking eyes are pleading with me and the determination in them stops my breath altogether. He is serious. He wants us to run away.

"Gavin, you can’t-"

He presses one finger to my lips and stops me.

"I am serious. This man is not going to stop until he is caught and the fact is-this situation has to get worse before it is better. The minute he gets too close, we can call in the authorities and bring him in once and for all. But for that to happen, baby, he’s going to get desperate. He wants you. If you think I’m going to let him come near you, you don’t know me very well."

I clasp his face in my hands, knowing where his mind is and knowing that he is so afraid to lose me. But running? No way. I’ve spent the last months running from what that horrible man did to me and I refuse to run ever again. Not from him.

"I love you for wanting to take me away but Gavin, I won’t run. This is my life, our life. I won’t let him dictate it. We will catch him. I’ll do everything you tell me to in regards to my safety. You’ll keep me safe."

I see the struggle in his eyes as he stands and begins to pace. I feel empty without his touch, but I let him continue to pace a hole in the carpet.

"We can go to Paris. See the sights, find some small village to live and we can make love every day.

Just us. Please, run away with me."

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"I can’t. Gavin, I spent this last year running. First from my grief and then from Bryce. I won’t let him think I’m afraid anymore. You have helped me find my strength and I know I’ll be safe with you. We can get through this. Together."

I get up from my seat and slide to my knees in front of him. Wrapping my arms around him, I press my face into his neck and when his arms come around me, his mouth presses to my forehead.

"I hate that I can’t protect you from this. You deserve the world, Aria. I promise I’ll give it all to you, but first we have to ensure you are safe."

His voice is filled with the raw emotion we both feel in this moment. I can hear everything he’s feeling, even the things he doesn’t want me to, in his voice.

Lifting my face, I press my mouth to his for a hard, desperate kiss.

"Thank you."

It’s almost five by the time Gavin walks Spencer to the door and they shake hands. I hear the door click closed and sigh in relief that that part of the day is over.

"How would you feel about a bath? And then I’ll let you be to get dressed."

Gavin helps me up, and when I stand I feel just a bit dizzy. I close my eyes, and sway into a warm, firm chest.

"Aria? Are you feeling alright?"

I nod and smile gently.

"Let’s get you in that bath."

Gavin picks me up in his arms and carries me towards the bathroom, kissing me the whole way.

Though I know he’s still worried, I feel the tension slip from him in a matter of seconds in our closeness.

I’m settled in a perfectly warm bath with bubbles and fragrances of lilac, my favorite. When Gavin goes to move away, I clasp his hand.

"I thought you were coming in with me?"

He dips his forehead to mine and presses teasing kisses down my cheek and then my jaw.

"If I go in there with you, we won’t make it to Kel’s wedding."

His words make my blood heat and lower parts heat up as well. I bite my lip and nod.

"Well…" I go to grasp the end of his shirt, but Gavin laughs softly and pulls away.

"Take your time, baby. I’ll meet you in the living room."

And with that, he kisses my cheek and leaves me with my lust filled thoughts.

***

 I smooth the lavender satin dress down my sides and step back to look at the full length mirror in front of me. I decided to leave my hair down, curled in subtle waves instead of my unruly hair that I usually pull back from my face. My ivory skin seems like it’s glowing next to the light shades of gray I used for eye shadow. I’m pretty sure I’m being such a girl since I know Gavin loves how I look without any cover at all.

Why would he mind what dress I’m wearing?

"Christ, you are so beautiful."

The moment I see Gavin at the entrance of our bedroom, dressed to the nines in a freshly pressed black suit jacket, along with a navy blue button down shirt and a matching tie, my heart stops in my chest.

Oh, he's gorgeous. He looks like he's stepped off the pages of Vogue, and I'm naturally drawn to him. I meet his intense eyes that are grayer than I've ever seen them.

"So beautiful," he murmurs, coming to me as I secure a black sash around the waist of my lavender dress that fits in the best way. He tucks a strand of my wavy hair behind my ear. His hand wanders down my back while I secure my last earring, a pair of emerald green pendants that my dad gave me for my eighteenth birthday. I've always treasured them.

"You’re not so bad yourself," I whisper, reveling in the feel of his hand along my cheek, then his lips descend on mine. They devour me, destroy my every thought so that I almost miss his hand going to his front breast pocket of the jacket he wears and pulls out something. My hands delve into his hair as he pulls his lips fractionally away from mine as he speaks slowly.

"I have something for you, Beautiful."

I lean back, my heart beating fast in my chest at the idea of him getting me a gift. He's given me so much, how much can he possibly give before he tires of me? I push my stupid insecurity to the back of my mind, my eyes widening when he places a rectangular box with dark blue velvet trim around it. It’s a jewelry box.

"What's this?" I whisper as I gaze down at it and then back up to his deep soul-baring eyes.

"This was my grandmother’s, she gave it to me before she died. My grandfather gave it to her when he proposed to her and she told me to save it for the woman I fell in love with and baby, that's you. I'm in love with you, Aria."

Oh my God. My heart starts to beat faster and tears prick at the backs of my eyes. Is he…

"Hey, relax please, baby. I'm not proposing to you now, not until I know for sure you'll say yes.

But, this-"

He opens the box, displaying a beautiful gold chain, with a singular emerald green pendant in the center of it. Surrounding the stone are two heart shaped diamonds and two letters. On the left side is a cursive A, and to the right is a mirrored letter G. It takes my breath away and a lone tear falls to my cheek as I feel the love in his blue-gray eyes that penetrate mine.

"This is an heirloom of hers and now, it's yours baby."

Oh, my. He wants to marry me, he's going to propose and God. Is this a dream?

"Gavin, it's so beautiful. Thank you, I love you," I whisper, pressing a kiss to his neck just below his Adam’s apple.

"Our initials?" I whisper, joyful tears pooling in my eyes.

"I had them put in yesterday morning. I wanted to make this special to us."

"You amaze me," I whisper, leaning forward and pressing my mouth to his for a soft yet passionate kiss that creates pooling desire in my core again. I feel like this never-ending need to have him inside me will never cease, and I pray that it never will. He smiles against my lips and chuckles as he pulls away, his eyes heating when I catch his bottom lip in my mouth, nipping softly until he moans from the contact.

"If we don't leave soon, I'm afraid we might be terribly late for your sister’s wedding," he teases and begrudgingly, I release him and turn to face the mirror as his arms wrap around me, pressing a hot open-mouthed kiss to the base of my neck.

"Will you put it on me, Gavin?"

He removes the necklace from its box and lays it on my collarbone, doing the clasp effortlessly and pressing a kiss to my temple in the next second.

I gaze in the mirror and stare in awe at the beautiful gem around my neck.

"Thank you. This is so special to me," I tell him, smiling as he turns me and picks me up into his arms. Again, he meets my mouth with ardent, adoring lips. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I moan, loving the feel of him when he pulls away too soon for my liking.

"Come on, Beautiful. You’re tempting me," he murmurs in my ear, his warm breath grazing my cheek causing my teeth to go down onto my lip in order to stop the loud moan that threatens to slip out.

"Tempting you to what?"

His answering smirk is a promise and it spurs my desire more.

"You," he leans down to press a hot kiss to my throat as he speaks, "are tempting me to lock you in the bedroom and forget about this wedding you’re so eager to attend, Ms. Morgan."

A delicious shiver runs up my spine and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his slender hips as he carries me through the bedroom and towards the back entrance, his lips whispering against mine all the way.

I'm so gone over this man.

***

Kel is near tears as I make my way into the bridal room on the second level of St. Mary's Lutheran Church, the church where seventeen years ago, my dad married my mom. It’s also where I was christened as a baby, and that thought warms my heart.

"Aria! Thank God you’re here!" She squeals, shimmying in her floor length wedding dress, and I gasp at the subtle beauty of the piece. I'd been shopping with Farah the day she found her dress and now, I just stand there with clutch in hand, taking it in. It's a low cut neckline, an ivory colored fabric that looks to be made of silky threads that hug her curves perfectly. The waist is tied at the back and as she turns I see the corset styled dress back, showing off her spine and an inked design I've not seen before. Holy crap! My jaw drops open and I just gape at her, walking closer to see the tattoo better. It’s beautiful, an intricate design of cursive writing and a singular red rose underneath the words, and I love him. I run my hand over it. When she turns towards me, her eyes are filled with joy and immediately, tears pierce the backs of my eyes. She's so happy.

"When did you get this?" I ask, kissing her cheek as she pulls me over to the vanity and Farah gives me a look, telling me she has to talk to me. Oh, no.

"I wanted to give Lucas a wedding gift he'd never forget. Do you think he'll like it?"

She sits in front of the large oak wood vanity, painted white. Her makeup is light and Farah steps behind her, primping her curly blonde hair into a clip at the back of her head so that a few strands fall out, framing her face easily.

"He's going to love it, honey. You look beautiful. Are you nervous?"

I ask as I sit next to her and squeeze her hand when it begins to thrum against the wooden tabletop.

She shakes her head, her tear filled eyes flicking up to mine.

"No, he's everything I've ever wanted."

Still, I can see the nervousness exude off my beautiful sister.

"That man loves you so much, Kel."

She looks at me hesitantly for a moment and when I squeeze her hand, her lips curve up into a smile once more.

"I know."

She wraps her arms around me and we hug, both savoring this moment. This is her day and joy courses through me knowing that this is the beginning of her new life, her happily ever after.

"Love you" I whisper. She leans away and we stand, a knock sounding at the door once we've both wiped our tears away and she slips her white sandals on, with her something blue across her neck. Her something old, a diamond plated bracelet across her right wrist which dad gave to her. It was our grandmother’s. And of course, her something new dangling from her ears, ruby earrings that Lucas gave her this morning. She looks like a princess.

Dad comes in through the door, stopping when he takes a look at the three of us huddled by the vanity. His green eyes are filled with tears, and he's dressed in the same black David Scott tuxedo that he wore to my graduation almost a year ago. Kel comes up to him and he smiles, the proud father exuding from within him.

"Oh, sweetheart. You look beautiful. Are you ready?"

She kisses his cheek, giving us both a smile as she hooks her arm through his and they make their way out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them. I sigh, a part of me wondering if one day, I'll be the one dressed in white walking towards Gavin.

God, I hope so.

***

Farah and I descend the church stairs leading to the main floor arm in arm and I see that the chapel doors are already open. As I peer into the chapel, I see that each pew is filled, familiar faces lit up with laughter as they talk among themselves. My eyes scan over the top three rows of seats and then, a pair of blue gray eyes meet mine. Gavin. He gives me a warm smile, his eyes filled with adoration. I feel my mouth spread in a smile, my eyes taking him in as if it’s the first time. God, I have it bad.

"Ready?" Farah whispers, as we all line up to go down the aisle and a little girl with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes begins her walk, tossing lilac petals as she goes. She's Lily, our cousin from mom's side. I turn and smooth my hands down the front of my dress, feeling the soft material beneath my fingers.

"Ready."

Farah goes before me holding her bouquet as she walks slowly, her smile vibrant as she goes. My eyes move to Lucas, looking happy and ready to start his new life.

I take a deep breath and step out onto the aisle. I clutch the bouquet of lilies and as I make my way down towards the altar, I have to make sure to keep my walk slow as I smile at our families surrounding us. My eyes land on Gavin’s back and I feel the electric current of his presence. God, looking at him-he’s so handsome. Turning his head, his eyes capture mine. I see his features changing. They become softer, his eyes burning heat and love and lust all at once. It’s cathartic and all I can seem to do is smile back at him and take my place beside Farah as desire pools low in my core from that one connection tethering me to Gavin. I listen as my sister exchanges her vows with Lucas.

"I take you, Lucas Mathew Jones as mine. I will love you through good times and bad times. I will hold you up when you cannot stand. I will be your strength when you’re weak, and I'll support you for always; withholding all others, for as long as I shall live. I love you"

And as I watch them sweep across the dance floor only minutes later, I long to have this dream with Gavin, taking him as mine, for always.

"What are you thinking about, baby?" Gavin whispers in my ear as he wraps an arm around my waist and kisses my temple gently. I turn in his arms and see the love and desire in his eyes.

"You, always you." I whisper, lifting up on my tiptoes to brush my lips against his. His hands come up to my cheeks, his mouth opening as he claims my mouth, adoring me, consuming me. I wrap my arms around his neck, moaning when he bites down gently on my lower lip. His minty breath encases my senses as he cups the back of my head and licks ardently into my mouth, stealing my breath and creating pooling desire deep and low in my belly as his fingers dip into the silky strands of my hair.

"A dance, Aria?" he whispers, his eyes soft and filled with want as he gazes down at me. I nod as he leads me onto the floor and once we've reached the perfect spot underneath the chandeliers, he brings me to him for a soft, tender kiss that renders me breathless. His strong arms wrap around my waist and my hands glide up his chest to his neck. My lower lip trembles as he slows the kiss until his lips are just barely brushing against mine.

"One day, I want this, Beautiful." His mouth dips to my shoulder then he leans back to meet my eyes. Mine widen, my mouth parting as I realize what he's saying. He wants to marry me…oh, my. My breath hitches in my throat as I gasp, and press my face to his neck, just above his collar and inhale him as I memorize this moment. I want to be his wife, I want this. Oh, God I want it so much. But a small part of me hesitates, not knowing if I'm ready.

"Gavin…. I want to marry you," I say, lifting my head to meet his eyes filled with wondrous love.

They fill with such joy as he clasps my face and places such a tender kiss to my lips. It makes my heart soar.

"I know you’re not ready, Aria. We aren’t there yet. I just want you to know, that one day, this dream-this day, will be ours. And when that time comes, with all my heart I promise you, baby. I'll give you the world."

Tears fall from my eyes as I gaze up at him, gasping at his beautiful words. Is this real?

"Oh, Gavin. I love you, so very much" I whisper and he wraps his arms around my waist tighter, lifting me and when his lips press to mine I feel his love in every fiber of my being. He slips his tongue into my mouth and licks along mine, adoring me with such tender care. Gavin’s body presses to me and I wrap my arms around his neck, moaning and burying my hands in his hair without hesitation.

He ever so slowly lowers me till my feet reach the floor again and as he kisses me, his hands cradle my face. Gavin sweeps us into an easy slow dance, never taking his mouth off mine. And somehow, all I can feel is this man, my love.

"I love you, Beautiful. I promise you that when I ask you to be my wife, there won't be a doubt in your mind. Do you trust me?"

He pulls his lips from mine and gazes lovingly down at me. I do, I trust him with my whole heart.

"Always," I whisper, then reach up and grasp his neck once more, lowering his mouth for another delectable kiss.