Gerry’s Online Dating Guide for the Lonely by Gerry - HTML preview

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The goal of online dating is to eventually meet and go out on that all-important date. However, online dating is very different than dating someone that you meet in the “real” world. There are some tips that you need to know so that your online dating experience is as safe and as positive as possible.

You’ll most likely be very nervous and excited when it comes time to meet your online date. The experience can be very thrilling but it’s important that you be on the defensive when you meet for the very first time. Always keep in mind that this is someone who you haven’t yet met and there will be many things that you don’t know about them. There are some things that you can do to make your first date safe and exciting at the same time:

• Always arrange to meet your date somewhere rather than having them pick you up from your home. You don’t want to let them know where you live so that they can find you in the future if the date doesn’t work out.

• Meet in a public place such as a restaurant or café. You want to be sure that there are plenty of people around in case things go seriously wrong. You might want to consider going out on a double date or with a group of people so that you aren’t alone on your first date. Again, this can only add to the safety of your first date.

• Pay for half of the date. If you pay for half of the date you won’t feel obligated to return the favor if your date pays your way.

• Try to limit the amount of alcohol that you drink. Alcohol can ease your inhibitions and affect your judgment. If you’re going to be drinking on your first date make sure that you keep your drink in view all times so that nothing can be slipped into it. Make sure that you don’t get drunk so that you can be in control at all times.
• Make sure that you let someone else know where you’re going to be. You might want to consider having someone call you on your cell phone as a check in so they know that you’re alright.

• Use your own method of transportation to get to and from the date. You don’t want to get into a car on your first date.

Online dating can be a fun and exciting experience. The one thing that you need to remember is that you practice safety and be practical in the decisions that you make about your date.

Building Your Online Dating Profile

When it comes to online dating the competition is fierce and intense. Some people will do whatever it takes to get those dates including lying on their profile and including photos that are outdated. It’s important that you be honest with yourself both in your profile and with the pictures that you upload for others to see. Attracting dates using false pretences can only lead to trouble in the future.

There are some important things that you need to focus on when you’re building your online profile. You want your profile to be as honest as possible and say as much about you as it can. The following are specific aspects that you can focus on to get the ideal profile for your online dating adventures.

Try to avoid being negative. Negative talk about your job, your life, or your past dates is a big turnoff to future dates. You want to be positive and upbeat about whom you are without lying or embellishing. In the world of online taking being positive is like a magnet. Everyone wants to find that special someone who is positive and exciting. Negativity will get you few dates, and the ones that you do get will be just as negative as you are. Let potential dates know that you want to meet “winners”. This will encourage only upbeat and successful people to respond to your profile.
Try to be as unique as you can in the way you write your profile. Don’t just let people know that you like music and walks along the beach. Be specific about the music that you enjoy listening and the types of beaches that you’ve walked along. Use descriptive words that are different such as “a sizzling hot day on the beach” rather than “a hot day at the beach”. You want to make your profile as un-ordinary as you can without sounding like a complete flake.

When you write your profile you don’t just want to get as many responses as you can. You want to get the right responses from the type of people who you are attracted to. Filter the responses that you get by being specific about what you’re looking for. Make sure that you list the age requirements of potential dates so that you don’t end up with responses from people of all ages. Remember that this is your profile and you’re the one who is in charge of who you date. Update your profile at least once every two weeks if you’re not getting the responses that you want.

The Perfect Picture

One question that many people ask about online dating is what colors they should wear in their photo that will get them the most attention. Your online profile is the only way that people are going to filter you out from the rest of the people who are looking for the perfect date. You need to make sure that you stand out from the rest in any way that you can without lying about who you are. One of the ways that you can make sure that you get noticed is to have an online photo that is as flattering as it can be. And to do this there are certain colors that you should wear for maximum impact.

Appearance matters both in the real world and online. A good photo is going to enhance your online profile in a positive way. Try to wear clothing that you like and that you feel comfortable in. This will project a positive and upbeat image to anyone searching through the profiles of an online dating site. Wear colors that make you feel attractive and confident. These feelings will come across loud and clear in your photo.

The number one choice when it comes to colors is blue. Blue is a color that is associated with peacefulness and tranquility. You’ll look relaxed and calm when you’re wearing an outfit that is blue in color. Blue is also associated with loyalty and will convey a message to people that you are someone who they can trust.

Green is the second choice for colors to wear in your online photo. Make sure that you can wear green since there are many people who don’t have the right skin tone for this color. For men, dark green is a color that is equated with masculinity and wealth. Green is easy on the eyes and will leave a good impression with people who are looking for a confident date.

Red is a color that is usually associated with lust and sexuality. You might want to stay away from this color unless you want to attract a lot of attention from casual daters. Black is also considered to be a sensual color that is very alluring. If you’re trying to look a bit thinner, black is a good choice for you. White and yellow should be your last choice of colors to wear in an online photo. These colors will give you a washed out and pasty look, leaving you with an aura that is on the depressing side.

Online Dating Tips for Men

Online dating can be just as difficult for men as it can be for women. One thing that men need to keep in mind is that you never get a second chance to leave a good impression. It’s often a one time deal and you need to make the most of that first impression. Before you panic there are some things that you can do to make your online dating experience a success.
Perhaps the most important thing to do is be on time for the date. If you arrive late you’ll be sending out the message that you don’t really care enough about the date to be there on time. Lateness is good indication to women that you’re not reliable and that you can’t be counted on. Try to arrive a few minutes early so that you look as though you’re eager for the date to begin.

Take some time to prep for your date and focus on your grooming. You don’t want to arrive to your first date looking unshaven and unkempt. Women enjoy a date that takes care of himself. Do everything that you would do if this first date were a second or third date and you really want to leave a good impression. If your appearance is in question the woman won’t be able to see past your looks to the person you are inside.

Consider arriving with a small gift. Women love the thoughtfulness of a date that arrives with a little something such as flowers or a box of chocolates. You don’t want to go overboard but you do want to let the woman know that you’re appreciative of the chance to go out with her. You want to be a gentleman whenever possible and this means holding doors, pulling out chairs, and letting her walk through doors before you. Women enjoy the feeling of being pampered and respected. And just think, it might lead to a second date!

Practice good listening skills on your first date. No woman wants to spend time with a man who spends the whole time talking about himself. The goal of a first date is to get to know each other so that you can decide if you have enough in common and enough attraction to go out on a second date. Women are attracted to men who are interested in what they have to say.

Use your intuition when it comes to that first date. Be honest about what you’re thinking and feeling at the end of it. Don’t promise that you’ll call if you have no intention of contacting her again. Women appreciate honesty even if it hurts.

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Ideas for the First Date

When you’re finally ready to meet someone on a first date who you’ve met online, you’ll want to have a great first date idea in mind. First dates can sometimes be a bit difficult to work out since there are many things that you want to take into consideration. Your final choice for a first date idea will depend on how much you want to spend, whether it’s a day time or night time date, and the interests that the two of you share. Since you met online you’ve probably each shared your likes, dislikes, and interests, so narrowing down something to do on your first date should be easy.

You might want to choose an inexpensive date for the first time around so that you can each pay your own way and not feel obligated to pay for a second date. Some good inexpensive date ideas include:
• The movies. Going to the movies is always a good choice since it breaks the ice while allowing both of you to get a feel for the other person. Let your date choose which film you’re going to see. Don’t plan for coffee afterwards; make the decision for coffee or a drink after the movie is over since you don’t want to assume that you’ll want to spend time together after the film has finished.

• A picnic. If this is a day time date consider going on a picnic if the weather permits. Take along a basket of food and wine and enjoy the day just relaxing in the sun as you get to know each other.

• Museum or art gallery: If you know that you both enjoy art or history this is a great first date idea. You can spend a couple of hours doing something that you both enjoy so there will be less tension and stress

If you’re feeling a bit more extravagant there are some expensive dates that you can go on. Keep in mind that you want to be sure that your date is comfortable with these types of dates since they require a bit more planning and consideration:

• Concert: Take your date to a concert. This type of date will need planning ahead of time so that you can make sure that you have the tickets in hand. You’ll also want to make sure that your date is interested in the concert that you’ve chosen.

• Dinner: An expensive dinner is a nice way to celebrate a first date but should be reserved for someone you feel particularly attracted to. Expensive dinners can often send a message to your date that they are worth it but might also convey the feeling that there is another date in the future.

• Theater: Tickets to the theater are perfect if you and your date share the same enthusiasm for the stage.

Creating the Perfect Profile Header

Most online dating websites will encourage you to have a short profile header line that is used with your username. This profile header line is usually used in searches that other members do to find appropriate matches for what they are looking for in someone they want to meet. Don’t make the mistake of putting just anything into your profile header since this will leave you with responses to your online dating ad that you don’t want. You want to have a profile header line that gets you immediate attention. This includes lines that are funny, cute, or philosophical. You want to encourage the right people to click on your profile and find out more about you.

There are some aspects of the profile header line that you should focus on so that you get the most mileage out of these few short words. Avoid using headers that hundreds of other people use and that by now are becoming very boring. Overused headers are those such as “I’m the one you’re looking for” or “want to meet new people”. You don’t want to be part of the rest of the crowd who is looking for an online date. You want to stand out from the rest with a description of who you are.

Take a look at other profile headers before you start writing your own. Choose headers that interest you and try to come with a similar slant. Determine what it is about those headers that you like and why. Some successful header ideas are “Sharp spark wants to ignite similar paths” or “Here I am…do you have any other wishes”. The insight of other profile headers can guide you in being creative with your own.

Your profile header is one way that you can filter out your potential online dates from those that aren’t even in the running. If you want to increase the number of people who are interested in you for the right reasons you can include some specifics in your header line such as “Looking for 24-30 year old man who loves to golf” or “You need to be at least 5’9” to get on this ride”.

Change your profile header every once in a while so that you get more responses to your online ad. Come up with a cute new header every week so that you’re attracting different kinds of people. You might want to think about changing your photo just as often so there is a fresh angle on you each week for new members to find.

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