Sometimes life doesn’t become what you expect.
You have your highs and your lows.
For me, the lows overshadowed the highs. I always
felt this dark, gloomy presence over me. It seemed I
could not get out of this rut I was in.
I had lost my high paying job, my boyfriend, my car.
I had lost my sense of being.
Lucky, Mr. Jung had enough trust in me to let me pay
for my apartment by working at his cafe or I would
have lost that too.
Of course there are many ways out of this but I had
focused on just one. I had planned it to the T. I
wallowed in self-pity for so long that I just wanted out
permanently.
As I woke up this morning, I felt a sense of light
heartedness.
Like I was about to enter a higher dimension.
A state of sovereignty.
“This is it.” I said excited.
Today was the day I would be finally free. There was
no turning back.
I walked over to the window and watched the cars in
traffic as I sipped my coffee. The rain flowing on the
window slowly covered my vision so I turned away. I
glanced around my apartment, sort of like for a last
look and smiled. I instantly found comfort. A day
earlier, I had bought a whole bunch of cherry
blossoms to brighten up the apartment. They were my
favorite flowers. So why not have them all around me.
I really didn’t feel any fear.
I felt anxious.
I really just wanted to get it over with.
I slowly walked into my room and looked through my
closet for the prettiest dress I had and laid it on my
bed.
I looked over at the rain hitting the window and
smiled again.
“I even picked an awful day for this.” I said to myself.
“I sure am a winner.” I added with a giggle.
The closer I got to my departure time, the worst the
weather became.
The skies were at war. Like they knew what I was
about to do.
I had never seen a storm like this before. I decided to
try an ignore it and begin preparing myself.
I went into my room, put on my pretty dress and sat in
my rocking chair clutching my favorite teddy bear. I
glanced over at the clock and smiled.
My time had come.
I kissed my teddy and laid it next to me as I reached
for the razor. I had positioned my chair so I could
watch the beautiful light show this storm was
producing.
It made me feel at ease.
I decided not to write a final letter. For what? Or
who?
I had no one who really cared.
The rain began to splash harder against the window.
The lightning and the thunder seemed to increase as if
it was an argument, one after the other.
As I sat there I thought
“There’s no turning back now.”
I quickly cut over the veins on my right wrist. Blood
gushed out like a flowing river. I gasped at the pain.
Without hesitation and with one quick swoop my other
wrist began bleeding. I didn’t cry. I just sat there and
began my slow dissent.
I began to doze in and out.
The pain was excruciating but expected. I became
weak but I could hear the storm outside clearly. I kept
my eyes closed as the pain gradually increased.
In the distance I could hear a voice whispering
“Don’t be afraid, I’ll be with you from here on.”
I opened my eyes but could not focus. I felt that dark
gloomy presence over me again.
As I came in and out of consciousness, I squinted my
eyes to focus and saw a handsome man in a dark suit
holding my hand.
Suddenly a crash of thunder that was so loud jolted
me out of my chair.
In my hallucinated state I heard another voice.
“Anni, What did you do?” the soft deep masculine
voice said.
I used all the strength I had left to open my eyes,
looking for the voice but all I saw was the angel statue
I had on my nightstand.
I closed my eyes and opened them again but now saw
nothing but darkness.
It was strange because I could still hear everything so
clear.
In the distance, there was a conversation going on. I
didn’t understand it because I was alone.
I brushed it off as someone in the hallway talking to
each other.
All I could hear were muffled voices.
Out of the stormy darkness two heavenly beings
appeared over me.
“Yeol, what are you doing here?” said Jun.
“I’m doing my job, why are you here, Jun?” Yeol
argued.
“Doing MY job? We have to let her go. I’ve been with
her for a long time. This is what she wants.”
Explained Jun.
“I don’t think so. That is why I am here.” Argued
Yeol after a loud crackle of lightning.
I suddenly felt my body being lifted.
I tried to fight it but the feeling was overwhelming. I
began to float higher and higher.
I forced my eyes open again but this time it was all too
bright. More than my eyes could handle. I could smell
a sweet flowery scent though, like I was in a field of
cherry blossoms.
So calming.
Everything was so blue.
My eyes adjusted to the brightness but my body felt
numb.
I felt like a feather, just gliding smoothly.
With the corner of her eye I caught a glimpse of
where that deep soft beautiful voice had come from.
He was so tall and glorious.
As he approached, his face looked concern but his big
eyes ensued calmness. He reached his hand over to
me and pulled me into his arms.
I automatically blacked out.
Last thing I think I saw were his wings, they were
huge and bright gold.
It could have been a figment of my imagination but
they were covered in blood as he blanketed me for
protection.
I could still hear the storm still raging but I couldn’t
see it anymore.
Suddenly my breath became shallow and slow.
Just then, I felt like I was falling in a spiral.
To stop the pain, I took a final deep breath and let go.
“I will protect you, Anni. Let go.” A soothing man’s
voice whispered in her ear.
Abruptly everything came to a complete stop.
I felt like I was in a tug of war.
Everything was spinning out of control.
With another loud crash of thunder,
A feeling of complete serenity engulfed me.
I again floated down and landed softly. I looked
around to see where I was but my mind was
completely blank.
“You are going to be ok, Anni.” The deep soft voice
whispered in her ear.
“Was I dead? Was this heaven?” I thought.
Another loud crash of thunder startled me and woke
me up.
I sat up and looked around. I wasn’t in my chair
anymore. I was on my bed soaking wet.
“What the hell just happened? Did I just dream all
this?” I said to myself as I checked my wrists.
There were no signs, no scars.
I got up and ran to the rocking chair. There was no
blood or anything.
“But I felt the pain. I saw the blood. What is going
on?” I thought confused.
“Am I going insane?” I asked myself as I scanned the
room for signs of a struggle.
The only thing bothered was my guardian angel
statue. It was on the floor shattered.
I tried to recall but nothing came to mind.
I walked back into my room and kneeled in front of
the broken statue.
“Oh my poor little angel, I must have had a wild,
crazy dream.” I said as I gathered the pieces.
“Wow, your face looks so much like Jun, that’s so
weird. But then he is angel-like.” I mumbled as picked
up the head of the angel.
As I walked towards the kitchen with the pieces, a
glimmering object caught my eye by the window.
I slowly walked over and picked it up.
It was a golden feather.
Confused I leaned back and just stared into it.
“What is this?” I thought as I twirled it between my
fingers.
Suddenly a knock on the door startled me.
“Ms. Anni, are you ok?” Said a voice from behind the
door.
“The power is out. A generator got hit by lightning
and it shook the whole building. Luckily, we still have
power.” The voice said.
I slowly opened the door to find Mr. Jung, my
landlord standing there.
He looked at me strange and said “Is there a leak in
your apartment, why are you soaking wet?”
I shrugged my shoulder, smiled and replied “I just got
home. I got caught in the rain. You know I never
carry an umbrella.”
He nodded in disagreement.
“You are going to catch a cold, change your clothes
and come downstairs. I will make you some hot soup.”
He said with a smiled and went on his way.
I closed the door and walked back over to the window
to see all the commotion going on outside.
As I watched my eyes met up with this tall handsome
man. He smiled and bowed his head. I smiled but as I
returned my gaze, he was gone. I didn’t think
anything of it. Everything was just so weird today.
In passing, I turned on the t.v. Every channel had
news about the big storm.
As I towel dried my hair, a special report about the
storm caught my eye.
As I watched the report I could not help but feel bad,
so many people displaced due to this storm. I scanned
the crowd as the reporter spoke. I noticed a tall man
in the background. He looked exactly like the guy I
had just seen out my window. I walked back to the
window and looked again.
“Could it be?” I thought.
“It had to be a coincidence. This report was live from
far across town. There was no way. I’m just out of it.”
I figured.
Continuing to watch, on
the corner of the screen I saw a glimmering golden
feather. It was lying on the street. I glanced over to the
one I had found in my apartment and pondered
“What are these feathers?” I thought.
I nodded and made my way to my bedroom. I was still
a bit hazy about my suicide attempt, did I really dream
it, because it felt so real.
I changed clothes and proceeded to go downstairs.
As I turned to close my door, the feather glimmered
and caught my attention again. I walked back in and
grabbed it.
“I don’t know where you came from but as of now,
you are my good luck charm. You are so soft and
pretty.” I mumbled as I touched my face with it and
made my way down to the cafe.
Jung’s café was busy as always.
They had the best pastries this side of town.
And don’t let me forget, Jung’s Cafe had Jun. He was
the most handsome pastry chef around.
The women clientele was huge.
They came from all over to catch a glimpse of him.
He was heavenly.
I always had a crush on him but he never noticed me.
I was just average to him.
Mr. Jung was the sweetest man you could ever meet,
always polite and welcoming. He always sat and spoke
with the customers. He gave the café a homely feel.
People visited more because of him and Jun than the
pastries, I think.
Coming into the café, my eyes met with Jun’s. I felt a
sudden strange connection but today was unusual
anyway so I paid no mind to it.
“Are you ok?” Jun asked.
“Mhmm” I replied.
He reached over and moved my hair out of my face.
“You need to take better care of yourself” He said.
I smiled and replied “It’s just rain. What are you
talking about?”
He nodded and smiled.
As I walked passed Jun, I bumped into Mr. Jung.
“Ms. Anni, where did you get that?” He said as he
pointed at the feather.
Jun quickly looked back and stared at the feather.
He knew exactly what it was.
He almost dropped his tray of cookies at the sight of it.
“What? This? I don’t know. It just appeared in my
apartment. Maybe we have a fancy golden bird living
in the rafters or something. They seem to be
everywhere.” I replied with no concern.
He smiled at me then glanced at his wife with concern
as he handed me a bowl of hot soup.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Mrs. Jung whispered.
“Did you see what Anni has?” He replied.
“A feather? Never seen one in that color before,
though, very pretty.” She commented.
“That’s not an ordinary feather. It’s a Suho Cheonsa
feather. A Suho Cheonsa Feather!” He stated
excitedly.
“Suho Cheonsa feather? Really? How would you
know that, honey?” Mrs. Jung asked.
“In old folk tales, it has been told that when you see a
glimmering golden feather, a guardian angel has
visited. You’ve never heard that story growing up? It’s
a popular one. Saint Byun and his Suho Cheonsa?”
He commented in disbelief.
“Really? I never heard that story.” She said as they all
looked at Anni from across the cafe.
“Yes. Do you think she is in trouble?” Mr. Jung
added.
“She doesn’t seem to be. Maybe she just found it.”
Mrs. Jung replied.
“No honey, you can’t just find one. It is left especially
for you.” Mr. Jung confirmed.
They both looked at each other in concern.
“Don’t worry yourself, she is a good girl. I will always
protect her.” Jun added as he passed.
Mr. Jung nodded but was not convinced.
Mrs. Jung pointed towards the door and said
“By the way sweetheart, there is your new helper.
Change your concerned eyebrows.
He may get scared off.”
At that moment, a tall young man walked through the
cafe towards the counter.
I had never seen someone so tall before.
His eyes were so intense but calming.
As he passed my table, a soft sweet smelling wind
caressed me and drew my attention towards him.
He looked down at me in passing and smiled.
He seemed so familiar but I knew I had never met
anyone like him before.
He seemed heaven sent.
I just watched as he spoke with Mr. Jung.
Mr. Jung directed the young man to the back of the
cafe and walked over to me.
“Sweetheart, when you are finished I will need you to
come help train that young man, he will work here
with you and Jun.” Mr. Jung instructed.
I nodded, placed my bowl on the counter and followed
him to the back.
“Kids? This is Yeol.” He introduced.
Yeol bowed in respect.
“This is Ms. Anni and that is Jun. They will help train
you.” Mr. Jung stated.
I smiled. Jun looked at Yeol with a serious face. I
could not help but look at him, from top to bottom.
His smile was incredible and he had the longest legs I
had ever seen on a person.
“You are so tall!” I said in an outburst.
Yeol smiled and replied “It’s nice to meet you too, Ms.
Anni. And you too Jun”
Mr. Jung had a strange feeling about Yeol but he
seemed to be a nice guy so he gave him the job.
Yeol and I seemed to automatically connect.
Jun and Yeol, not so much.
I was still a bit frazzled by the occurrences earlier but
I tried not to let it bother me at work.
I watched as Yeol charmed all the ladies that came
into the cafe. Now and then we would share glances
and smiles.
“He’s going to be good for business, Mr. Jung.” I
stated as we both watched Yeol.
“Yes, he seems to have a way with the ladies.” Mr.
Jung said with a smile.
“He’s just a new face. It’ll fade in a few days.” Jun
added with a jealous tone.
I nodded, giggled and said “Don’t worry Jun, you are
still the most handsome pastry chef in town.”
Jun rolled his eyes at me with a smirk.
“I hope you don’t mind Ms. Anni but I rented the
room across from yours to Yeol, he has nowhere to
stay also.” Mr. Jung confided.
“What! He is staying here? Are you crazy, Mr.
Jung?” Jun said upset.
“It’s ok, Jun. He seems to be a nice guy.” Mr. Jung
assured.
Jun took a deep breath and look over at me.
“That is perfectly fine, Mr. Jung. I could use the
company sometimes. When the cafe is closed it is too
quiet upstairs.” I interrupted.
“It is not ok, Mr. Jung. He’s a stranger. He could be a
murderer. Where did he even come from? Looks can
be deceiving, Mr. Jung.” Jun argued.
“You were a stranger once too, Jun. Or did you
forget.” Mr. Jung replied.
“I can take care of myself, Jun, trust me.” I said as I
grabbed Jun’s hands.
Jun nodded in disagreement.
“I’m going to head on out to school now, since Yeol
has it covered. Is that ok?” I added.
“Yes, but please be careful.” Mr. Jung instructed.
“Yes, really be careful, it’s still stormy out there.” Jun
added.
While I walked passed Yeol, I tapped his arm.
“I’m off to school now. You are doing a great job,
keep it up. If you need anything, ask Jun, he will help
you. I will see you later. Ok?” I instructed.
He smiled and bowed his head.
“Ms. Anni, you have classes all evening?” He asked
concerned.
“No just 2 hours, I’ll be back shortly.” I replied.
He smiled and handed her a pastry.
“Here, take this with you, in case you get hungry.”
Yeol whispered.
Jun rolled his eyes at Yeol’s sweet gesture.
I smiled as I walked away. I could not help to feel a
sense of protection and closeness to Yeol. As if I had a
long term friendship with him.
I waved goodbye from the door.
Mr. Jung and Jun walked up with more pastries for
the display.
Mr. Jung saw that Yeol was staring at Anni.
“She is a pretty girl, huh?” Mr. Jung commented.
Yeol was startled. He nodded yes and smiled.
“So Yeol, where are you from again?” Mr. Jung
asked.
“I’m from the north.” Yeol replied.
“And why are you here?” Mr. Jung added.
“I’m studying.” Yeol answered.
“Ah, studying.” Mr. Jung said.
Mr. Jung walked away to get more coffee started.
“So why are you really here, Yeol?” Jun asked.
“Jun, this has nothing to do with you. Isn’t it time for
you to go?” Yeol replied in a whisper.
“Go where? And it does concern me. You are
interfering with my job.” Jun added.
“What is your job, Jun? Ah yes, you are just a
thought, that is all.” Yeol stated.
Right then there was a rush of customers and the
conversation had to be postponed.
As I walked towards the bus stop, I hear my name
from across the street.
“Anni!!! Anni!!!” Lee shouted.
“Hey Lee, what are you doing around here?” I
inquired.
“Girl, I have been calling your cell, like do you ever
answer it?” Lee scolded.
“Its way down in my purse. What’s up?” I replied.
“I wanted to talk to you about a new adventure.” Lee
said excitedly.
“New adventure? What are you and Lily up to?” I
said lightheartedly.
“I know you are still in school, but how about taking a
small vacation with us to Seoul?” Lee asked.
“Vacation? This sounds like work!” I stated.
“Well it is, just a little but its Seoul. South Korea girl.”
Lee said enticingly.
I stood there thinking, sort of in a dazed state.
“Anni? Are you ok?” Lee asked
“Oh yeah! Just thinking?” I replied.
“About?” Lee inquired.
“I met this cute guy.” I began to say.
“Oh Anni, always boy crazy.” Lee interrupted.
I giggled shyly.
“Just think about the offer. It’ll be fun and Seoul is
full of cute boys.” Lee added.
I smiled and waved as we went our separate ways.
As I walked towards the school, I could not help but
think of Yeol. He was so handsome. I felt like I knew
him from somewhere but I couldn’t place him. I think
I would remember a good looking guy like that. I
suddenly bumped into the door which knocked me out
of my daydream.
Mr. Jung also felt this weird connection to Yeol. It
was unexplainable. He watch Yeol and Jun as they
worked, he could tell they were not going to get along.
To break the tension, Mr. Jung came up front to help
with customers.
As Yeol reached for a bag, Mr. Jung and Jun did also.
As all their hands touched, a jolt of electricity hit
them, almost knocking Mr. Jung down.
Yeol quickly apologized but kept tending to the
customers.
Mr. Jung smiled and slowly walked towards the back
of the cafe.
When they touched, Mr. Jung had a flashback to
many years before. But he couldn’t understand why.
His whole life flash in front of him in a matter of
seconds.
“Mr. Jung, Are you ok?” Jun asked.
“Yes Jun, yes I’m perfectly fine. I just lost my
balance.” Mr. Jung assured.
Yeol nodded concerned and tended to the last
customer.
Jun knew that Yeol’s touch affected Mr. Jung.
He felt it also.
They were so busy that evening came fast.
They cleaned up the cafe and closed for the night.
Jun remained behind counting up the café’s money as
Mr. Jung led Yeol upstairs.
In passing, Mr. Jung pointed out Anni’s apartment as
he showed Yeol where he’d be staying.
Yeol opened the door of his new apartment and slowly
walked in.
“There are clean sheets and towels in that closet. Use