I used the paneled wall for support as I made my way to the bathroom. Sweat beaded my forehead when I finally stepped onto the cold, tiled floor. I flicked on the light and fan then set my clothes on the toilet tank.
Knowing I had limited time, I immediately turned the shower on to let the water warm. I moved to the sink, caught my reflection in the mirror, and cringed. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, and hair that stuck out at varying angles, reflected back at me. Without a doubt, Clay really did care about me. I shook my head then brushed my teeth, giving the water an extra minute to heat.
When I finished, I struggled out of my clothes and further depleted my waning energy. I eyed the high edge of the tub and thought back to when Clay had insisted on helping me. If I fell, I’d never hear the end of it. Bracing myself, I successfully stepped over the edge and tugged the curtain closed.
The hot spray felt great, but I didn’t pause to warm up. If I stayed too long, I’d lose what little energy I had or Clay would discover me. I grabbed the all-in-one hair wash and lathered my natty head. My arms grew heavy as I rinsed, and with relief, I turned off the water. Navigating the high edge proved more difficult the second time, and I clutched at the wall after a near fall.
The fan worked to suck the built up heat and steam from the room as I hurried to dry off. My unsteady legs forced me to sit down to finish dressing. The cold helped hurry the process.
I used my towel to bundle my dirty clothes then moved to the door. Though it felt like the process took forever, I knew only a few minutes had passed since Clay left. If I could get to my room and dry my hair, I’d be home free. I pulled open the door and yelped. The steady thump in my head increased its tempo.
Clay stood just outside the door, leaning against the wall. He held a glass of water in one hand and two pills in the other. I tried to read his face, but he kept it perfectly blank. I hoped that meant he wasn’t angry with me. Desperate to relieve the pain in my head, I released my death grip on the door and gulped down the pills.
When I tried handing him the empty glass, he shook his head and picked me up again. My feet had been getting cold, anyway. Holding the empty glass, I sighed and rested my head against his chest.
He went toward my room, and I almost complained until I saw what he’d done. He’d changed the sheets and remade the bed. Socks, slippers, and my hairbrush lay on the quilt, waiting. He’d known I would go for the shower and had given me privacy even though he hadn’t wanted me to get out of bed. Not only that, but he’d gotten everything ready for when I finished.
I looked at him. He studied me, his arms still securely around me. I leaned in, kissed his cheek tenderly, and hesitated there. He smelled so good. I just wanted to curl back up with him. But I couldn’t. I pulled back and looked at him again.
“You are so sweet, and I truly appreciate this, but I’m not going back to bed, Clay. I need to see Luke.”
The muscles in his jaw clenched as he stepped into the room and carefully set me on the bed. He left without a backward glance.
I stared at the empty doorway puzzled until the outer door slammed hard enough that I heard the wood crack. I flinched.
“I shouldn’t have said I needed to see Luke.”
I hurried to put on my socks and slippers while hoping Clay wouldn’t go too far. The movement made my head feel like it would fall off at any moment. The pills needed to kick in soon. I rubbed my brow again, but it didn’t relieve the pain at all. This wasn’t a normal headache. I just needed to deal with it. With a sigh, I stood.
I’d only made it to the living room when the door burst open again. I stared at Clay as he dragged Luke in by the cuff of one pant leg. Luke didn’t appear to mind. Instead, he was laughing. His hands clutched the waistband of his pants to keep Clay from pulling them off entirely. After they cleared the threshold, I saw a crowd watching from the hallway. Not good. News of this would get back to the Elders. No doubt Sam would want to talk to me as soon as he found out I was awake. I moved from the couch to the door and slammed it closed. The poor door would need some repair work.
Clay reached the middle of the room, dropped Luke’s leg, and without pause, turned back to the door. I didn’t move away from the exit. He reached for the knob without meeting my gaze, but I stopped him with a hand held up.
“Clay, I need you to stay and listen. Please.”
He still didn’t look at me, and I knew asking to speak with Luke had hurt him. Why wouldn’t it? Had I really ever given him much hope we had a future together? Sam showed up at our door just days ago saying I’d rejected Clay and needed to do the Introductions again. Instead of putting my foot down, we went back. Granted I’d told Clay I didn’t like to see him hurt and admitted we both knew he was the one for me, but we hadn’t talked about what we’d do about it.
“Please,” I said again, when he hadn’t moved. “Give me a chance.” I touched his face and forced him to meet my gaze. “I’ve asked so much of you already and know it’s not fair to ask again, but I am.” I chose my words carefully aware of our audience inside the apartment and in the hall.
He sighed, reached up to cup my face, and gently smoothed his thumb over my cheek. A tender look crept into his eyes before he abruptly dropped his hands, turned, and headed toward the still laughing Luke. Clay dragged his feet as he stepped over Luke. Luke grunted when a foot connected with his ribs, and his laughter started to quiet.
As Clay settled on the chair against the wall, Luke sat up.
“Most people wouldn’t laugh while being dragged through the Compound like that.” I stayed by the door because I didn’t want either of them leaving. I knew I couldn’t stop them physically even on my best day, but I’d cry if I had to.
Luke stood and turned toward Clay with a grin, ignoring me to taunt Clay.
“I’ve never seen anyone hold a transformation like that. He was man, but the fangs, ears, fur...it was amazing, and hilarious, mate,” he said as he settled himself on the couch.
“Um, isn’t that a sign that he’s in an extreme emotional state?” I asked Luke. He didn’t appear to hear me.
I walked behind Luke and smacked him hard on the back of the head. It really hurt my hand, but it got his attention.
“Meaning, you should stop trying to annoy him.”
Since Clay sat across from Luke, I moved to Clay and gingerly perched on one of his knees. He held still for a moment then his hands gripped my hips. He pulled back so I fully sat on his lap and turned me so we could both see Luke. Much better than sitting in my own chair. Warmer, too.
Having successfully gained both their attentions, I decided to get to the point.
“Luke, what happened when I touched you? What did you feel?”
“One hell of a shock. Listen, did you bring me here for a reason, or was it just to rub your relationship with him in my face?” Luke nodded at Clay, and though Luke’s usual smile still curved his lips, his words conveyed the agitation he tried to hide.
“It’s for a reason.” I tried to lean forward, but Clay wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. He didn’t give an inch, and I didn’t fight it. I’d pushed him enough for the night...or day. I still didn’t know how long I’d been out.
“How long have I been sleeping?”
“Two days, love. Everyone’s been pretty worried, and the Elders are waiting to talk to you.”
“I bet.” My eyes drifted to the door. I focused and immediately cradled my throbbing head. My eyes watered as I tried to breathe through the pain. “Crap.”
Behind me, Clay grunted in annoyance.
Luke’s smile slipped. “Listen, I think you should still be in bed, little one. No disrespect intended, but you don’t look well.”
My hair hung wet and uncombed around me. I could imagine what I looked like. I pressed my cool fingertips to one temple and wished I hadn’t been so stupid. Clay started to rub my back soothingly, working his way up to my neck and then lightly stroking my hair. It helped.
“I know you’re right, but I can’t go back to sleep yet. I need you to tell me what happened.”
Nicole told me that she’d really connected with Randy. Even after my pull wore off, they had continued to date. I couldn’t go back to the two women at the club to find out what they’d experienced. I needed to get more information from Luke.
“I don’t know what happened, love. You shocked me, told me not to leave, then fainted. After that, Clay picked you up and ran inside with you. He hasn’t let anyone near you for two days. We only knew you were still alive because he didn’t take off into the woods.”
Clay’s tight hug when I woke made more sense. He’d been worried about me, taking care of me and keeping the Elders away.
I forced myself to stay focused on Luke.
“And after Clay left, what about you? What did you do?”
Luke began to look uncomfortable. “Uh, I went out for a bit then came back here.”
“The constant attention probably went to your head,” I muttered. Luke was too sure of himself for any woman to have a chance.
His startled expression told me I was right.
“Did you meet anyone special while I was out?” I asked glancing at the door again and wishing we didn’t have an audience.
I looked back in time to catch Luke shaking his head. Still unMated. I’d thought as much but had to be sure. Normal humans wouldn’t tempt him, and there were too few unMated females at the Compound. I had an idea but needed sleep and time to think through everything.
“Luke, there is so much I don’t understand, and I really need your help.” I nodded toward the door and hoped he’d know I meant with the Elders who probably waited outside. “I need some time to myself to understand what I’m feeling.” This is why Clay had to be in the room with me. Anyone standing in the hall would probably think I felt torn between Clay and Luke.
Luke looked from me to Clay then back again. He started to ask a question, hesitated, then gazed at the door once more. Finally, he stood.
“I’ll be around,” he said.
I hoped he’d understood I wanted his help to get us out of here. The door had barely closed behind him when a knock sounded.
Still sitting on Clay’s lap, I turned to him. He met my gaze. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms cradled me as he stood and carried me to the bedroom. He set me on the bed, covered me, then closed the door. I listened to him answer the apartment door.
I heard Sam’s voice but didn’t bother trying to hear what Sam had to say. The Elders would come to get me soon enough. My exhaustion didn’t wait for them. I fell asleep again.
* * * *
My stomach growled so loudly it woke me. I listened for a minute before opening my eyes. Clay had left the lamp on so I could see. I turned my head. He lay next to me, on top the covers. Given the steady cadence of his breathing, he still slept. I let my mind drift, content to think and let him get the rest he needed.
Whatever I had in me, I could temporarily pass to people via a shock, but the effect only lasted until I recovered. I could also zap more than one person at a time, and I felt certain now that my emotions, in addition to my touch, triggered the transfer. The drain I experienced afterward varied. It felt like the flu the first time, but when I passed it to the two women, the symptoms intensified.
Shocking Luke had been different. I couldn’t say if the drain had been worse since I’d started out drained. However, focusing on a specific person’s spark was new.
Based on the yellow-violet coloring, I guessed it belonged to another compatible, like me. Could it mean my ability was to find Mates for the people I touched? But then, why hadn’t I zoomed in on a single person when touching the others? Maybe a werewolf amplified my ability, and the view appeared whether I wanted it or not. Or maybe one spark had stood out when I’d touched the rest, but I hadn’t focused on my spark-sight to check.
But what about my pull? Where did that play into this? There were still too many possibilities. I needed a test group. Immediately, I thought of Rachel and Peter. When I sensed them without touching Rachel, I knew they were a perfect match. If I tried to pass my pull to Rachel and saw Peter’s spark, I’d have my answer. If it didn’t work on them, I wouldn’t rule out my theory completely. The difference between human and werewolf might be the key to the results. I could experiment on Clay. He knew I was his match.
In addition to figuring out why I had the ability to pass on my gift, I needed to understand why I saw different werewolf colors. The one who’d left the line and the others waiting for him worried me.
Regardless of my anger at Sam, if trouble stalked the pack, he needed to know. But I needed to talk to Clay about it before I could talk to anyone else. He would help me figure out how it all tied together. However, I couldn’t talk to Clay here. There were too many ears, and I was still uncertain if I could trust Sam with everything.
I needed to leave before the Elders started pushing me for answers I didn’t have. What reason could I give Sam for my sudden faint during the Introduction? He’d know any lie before I told it. And if I gave him the truth, would he then share it with all the Elders? After seeing those werewolves leave the Introduction, I couldn’t blindly trust Elder Joshua. Too many werewolves of that same color acted unusually.
Feeling a light caress on my hair, I turned to look at Clay, who watched me again.
“Do I say good morning or is it close to goodnight again?”
He smiled at me, reached down to twine his fingers through mine, and brought my hand to his mouth. Instead of kissing it, he whipped his head toward the door. A silent snarl pulled back his lips. The bedroom door opened, and Luke poked his head in.
“Better hurry. You carry her, and I’ll grab her things,” he said, speaking directly to Clay.
I let out a relieved breath. Luke had understood and come through. I opened my mouth to thank him, but Clay leapt off the bed and quickly scooped me into his arms, covers and all. With the blankets twisted around me and partially covering my face, I felt a moment of disoriented panic as he lifted me.
I shook my head to dislodge the blanket and sent Clay a quick scowl. His lips twitched.
Over his shoulder, I saw Luke cramming my things into my ragged messenger bag. My bag wouldn’t last through another werewolf packing.
Clay left the room. Just in case anyone else roamed the halls, I laid my head on Clay’s shoulder. He held me closely and walked quickly. We quietly made it out the main entrance with Luke following us.
The black sky twinkled with stars, and crickets conversed with their night song as the two werewolves stealthily moved over the graveled parking area. It had to be Monday night. I regretted missing a day’s worth of classes, but there’d been no way to help it.
The car faced the gate. Luke must have moved it. The door’s loud creaking groan made us all cringe. Clay quickly settled me inside, reached across me to secure the seat belt, then silently jogged around the hood to get in behind the wheel.
Luke handed me my bag then moved to close the door. I motioned for him to wait and dug in a side pocket of my bag for a pencil stub and paper. In those few moments after I shocked him and before I passed out, I’d gleaned some information about the person I saw. Whoever she was, Luke needed to find her and help me understand if some of my suspicions were right. Was she like me? Was she his Mate?
I jotted him a hasty note and handed it to him with a wave. He quickly closed the door. I hoped giving him the information was the right thing to do. I barely knew him. Would he even try to find her or just hand the information over to an Elder? Worried, I looked at him through the window. He didn’t see me. His eyes scanned my note. He crumpled it in his hand and spun toward a waiting motorcycle.
Clay pulled away from the Compound, spitting gravel with the tires. The motorcycle roared to life and quickly zipped past us. Luke saluted me with a wicked grin then disappeared from sight. I peeked in the side mirror and caught the reason for their loud exit. Sam stood on the porch, his gaze locked on us. He grew smaller as we sped away. I wished I knew whom to trust.
I laid my head back and closed my eyes. What a crappy Introduction weekend. The worst yet. I hoped there were no more in my future.
The drone of the engine and the soothing vibrations of the tires put me right to sleep. I dozed the whole way home, waking when Clay lifted me from the car. With blankets still twisted around me, he carried me to my room and gently set me on the bed.
A few minutes later, he settled next to me. It didn’t matter anymore if he wore his fur or stayed as a man. He remained with me. It was enough.
* * * *
Clay tried to keep me home Tuesday. First, he planted himself, in his fur, in front of my door so I couldn’t get out of the bedroom. Then, when I pleaded to use the bathroom, he allowed me out and took the opportunity to hide my keys.
My suspicion rose when he calmly watched me get ready. I discovered the missing keys and resorted to further pleading. I explained my need to talk to Nicole in hopes of piecing together the puzzle of my abilities. The one-sided conversation reminded me of the first time I’d reasoned with him.
Of course, Rachel caught part of my serious chat with our dog and did a double take on her way to the bathroom. I laughed and waved her away, then gave Clay a look. Grudgingly, Clay led me to my keys, and I made it to campus on time.
I parked and took a minute to lean my forehead against the steering wheel, still recovering from sharing my ability with three people in one weekend. Clay had obviously sensed it. If Tuesday hadn’t been the only day I saw Nicole, I would have stayed in bed. Steeling myself, I got out of the car and trudged across campus.
For the first time ever, I didn’t pay much attention to the instructor. Instead, I sat by Nicole and whispered questions freely, but failed to uncover anything more than what she’d already shared. Men had hit on her quite a bit after the Halloween party. She attributed the attention to the costume, which she planned to reuse. Since it wasn’t a bad costume, I didn’t dissuade her of the idea. Better to think it was the costume than a freak friend passing some kind of power to her.
I smiled and waved goodbye to her at the end of the class. People pushed past me to leave. I watched them go and dreaded the long walk back to the car. With my pull gone, thanks to Luke and two strangers, I could safely ask someone for a piggyback ride. I’d seen it happen before. Yet, I couldn’t picture explaining to Clay why I smelled like another guy.
* * * *
Rachel and Clay-the-man stood in the kitchen together making an early dinner. Surprised, I hesitated in the doorway. Rachel typically spent her free time with Peter or at work. And Clay tended to stay in his fur when she was home.
Rachel paused her one-sided conversation to wink at me. I glanced at Clay, stepped further into the room, and slowly closed the door behind me. Clay remained focused on the food he stirred in the pan. Rachel walked past me on her way to get silverware.
“You didn’t tell me he could cook,” Rachel stage whispered.
Giving her a crooked smile, I made my way to a kitchen chair. I was exhausted.
“He cooks, he cleans, he warms up my feet at night, and he keeps the toilet seat down...so hands off. He’s mine.”
Rachel laughed, and Clay turned to give me an undecipherable look. I had a feeling he liked the “mine” part.
“How you feeling?” Rachel said, coming over to touch my forehead. “I asked Clay, but he didn’t say.” Rachel gave Clay a pointed look. Clay shrugged and went back to cooking at the stove.
“Not the best, but it’s getting better. I think it’s mental exhaustion, nothing contagious.”
“Mm,” she said in a noncommittal way as she eyed me speculatively. “I still think you should go to the doctor. Could it be something you didn’t think of yet?” She casually leaned close to me. “Pregnant?” she whispered.
Clay dropped the spoon. It hit the stove and bounced back at him. He caught it tight after a close fumble. Both Rachel and I stared at his back, but with dignity, he stayed facing the stove and kept cooking.
I turned back to Rachel with a wide smile. “No. Now, behave.”
We ate dinner companionably. After we finished, they shoved me out of the kitchen with orders to rest while they cleaned up. I went to my room and changed into my lounge clothes while listening to Rachel tell Clay about a cute pair of shoes she’d found. It made me smile. She would never break him. He’d never talk.
Dinner, though delicious and entertaining, had drained my reserves. I lay on top the comforter thinking I’d rest for a bit before I tackled that day’s homework. I still needed to talk to Clay about what I’d seen in the woods at the Introduction.
* * * *
Sunlight penetrated the darkness behind my eyelids. I no longer sprawled sideways on the bed on top the comforter but underneath it, snugly tucked in. Clay sat up in the space next to me, pillows stacked behind him as he read a book. His posture didn’t fool me. He really sat there to watch over me while I slept. I knew with an unexplainable certainty that he would never leave me again.
“Good morning,” I said, pulling the covers up to my chin. Thanks to Rachel-the-heat-miser, the room felt cool, but I enjoyed lower rent.
Clay closed his book as soon as I woke and turned to examine me.
“I want to talk to you but keep falling asleep. If I do it again, wake me up.” I smiled at him when he pulled me close to snuggle against him. It was much warmer that way.
“During the Introduction when I said my head hurt, I saw a man step away from the line. I know how your kind view Introductions. It didn’t seem right so I peeked at his spark. It hurt like hell, but I saw he had the same color light as Elder Joshua and the wolf that’d attacked us. I thought maybe it could be the same guy, that he needed to leave because you’d recognize his scent. Then I saw three more, further away. Something’s going on, but I can’t figure out what.
“I know you didn’t stay with the pack full-time, but did you ever notice any of them acting different?”
He shook his head, actually giving me a direct answer. It should have made me happy. Instead, I sighed. I still didn’t have a clue.
He gently stroked my hair as I thought it through. “If only I could trust Sam. If I could ask him questions about Elder Joshua without him repeating them, I might be able to figure this thing out.”
My head started to hurt again. Maybe if I stopped thinking about it so much, the answer would just come to me.
* * * *
Sam called my cell the following weekend. I’d expected to hear from him much sooner. He surprised me by asking if I’d come back to the Compound over the long holiday weekend. I hedged. Did he want me to return so he could arrange another Introduction?
When I didn’t give a definitive answer, he launched into a long speech about how he knew he’d disappointed me and how he really did worry about me, not just the pack. I tried to be understanding but didn’t bend much.
Finally, he came right out and asked what had happened to me during the last visit. I answered vaguely, claiming ignorance. Werewolves couldn’t recognize lies as well over the phone. A long moment of silence passed. When he spoke, he didn’t comment on my answer but again asked that I consider coming home over holiday break. I knew he meant the Compound and told him I’d think about it.
After that, he continued to call me daily just to talk. Most of our brief conversations touched on weather, school, or investments. Anything pack related stayed off limits. I could tell he was concerned, but trust, once lost, took longer to earn back. I wouldn’t tell him any of my suspicions until I could confirm some of them.
* * * *
For the next few weeks, the challenges stopped, and I pushed the pack, strange colored sparks, and my pull from my head. Instead, I focused on my studies.
Clay worked at Dale’s while I stayed on campus. I hadn’t given up trying to figure out why he’d picked Dale to be his employer. However, whenever I asked, he responded with a shrug. I never asked him if he followed me to school as Luke had suggested. Some things I preferred to remain a mystery.
I thought Clay’s expectations would change after our kiss, but he never pushed for more. He continued to stay in his fur most of the time, except for Tuesday nights when he had dinner waiting for me. I looked forward to our nights together and not just because he cooked exceptionally well.
Rachel knew I was spending more time with him, and on one of our quiet nights together, she asked about Clay-the-man while Clay-the-dog lay curled on the floor next to me.
“You are so weird about him. What is it about the guy that keeps you coming back?” She sat on the couch, folding her summer clothes and packing them into a tote.
Smiling slightly, I turned the page of the book in my lap before I answered.
“You don’t know him like I do.”
“How can you know him at all when you two don’t talk?”
“You don’t need to talk to get to know someone. You just need to listen,” I said absently, trying to concentrate on my reading. My words rattled in my head for a moment before what I said clicked into place. I froze and looked at Clay. His brown eyes met mine steadily.
Damn the patient, clever dog. A smile twitched my lips. I never had a chance...and I didn’t mind.
“But that’s what I’m saying. He doesn’t talk. What are you listening to?”
I laughed at her and myself. “Actions speak louder than words,” I quoted, finally looking up at Rachel. “He’s there when I need him, he’s kind and caring, he keeps me safe, and as you’ve seen, he cooks and cleans. What’s not to like, Rachel?”
She grumbled under her breath but didn’t have anything else to add.
Clay walked over to her and lay on some of her dresses, ending her mutterings that I should get out and meet other people. She laughed at him then tried to move him. He laid his head on his paws and winked at me. He wasn’t mad but enjoyed giving Rachel some grief.
Shaking my head, I went to the fridge and left Rachel to tug her dresses out from under his bulk on her own. In the fridge, I saw a new carton of orange juice along with a double-chocolate cake. Two layers of chocolate frosted goodness. My mouth watered. I usually ignored the food Rachel bought, but that one begged my attention.
“Can I have a piece of your cake?”
“I thought it was yours. It was here when I got home,” she called back.
I stood staring at the cake a long time. How could I be so blind? He’d shrugged when I’d asked why he’d gotten his job, but the answer, wrapped in layers of sinful chocolate mousse frosting, sat before my eyes.
Thinking back, I identified several of the little things I’d previously overlooked. Things I’d assumed Rachel had purchased, like movies I’d mentioned I wanted to see. He’d gotten his job for me because of my speech the day after we’d met. My heart melted a little as I thought of all the effort he’d put into trying to be what I needed, and I knew I fought a losing battle.
* * * *
The air grew colder and snow started to fall the week before Thanksgiving. The wind howled outside, still finding a way past the new windows. Despite the low-set thermostat, the heat kicked in often, and I worried about the bill. Even with Clay warming my feet, I’d added another quilt to the bed.
Broke and out of quilts, I lay under the covers, shivering. I wore two pairs of lounge pants, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. If I could just fall asleep, I knew I’d warm eventually. During the night, I usually stripped to one layer. But warming the bed took forever...on my own.
“Screw this,” I said, sitting up. I started pulling off my sweatshirt. The streetlight filtered through the curtains, so I could make out the shapes in my room. I tossed the sweatshirt toward the closet.
Clay lifted his head, tilting it just so.
I ignored him for the moment and shimmied out of my second layer of pants while trying to stay under the covers. The pants soared through the air and landed next to the shirt.
“Clay, will you keep me warm tonight?” I’d barely whispered the words when he jumped off the bed.
A moment later, he pulled back the covers and joined me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. Bare chest. I sighed, pressed my face against his skin, warming my cold nose, and wrapped my free arm around his waist. Then, I tucked my feet under his calves. He grunted slightly but didn’t loosen his hold.
“No more fur at night. Deal