Chapter 27
What have I done?! How could I have done that to my own sister? I know we're not close or anything like that but it's like an un-written rule that you never kiss or sleep with your sister’s boyfriend or... future husband. Oh God I'm so bad, I'm a slut. I'm a stupid naive slut.
But thinking about it, what was he doing? Kissing his future wife's sister! Then it hit me, he kissed me, ME. Does that mean he liked me? Oh God that's silly he can't like me, can he?
NO! He has Jess, Why would he want me?
Then why did he kiss me?
Was he drunk? I couldn't remember smelling any alcohol on his breath. Just the thought of his breath on mine, his skin to mine, it made my stomach do flips. I feel light headed, disorientated and I felt hot and sweaty at the thought of him near me, kissing me... touching me.
No! Stop thinking about it Leah. I told myself, it was a moment of madness. It will most likely never happen again and if I kept on thinking that it would I would be letting my own heart down.
I needed air I was thinking far too much about what just happened. I wanted to run away and never see him again out of embarrassment. He must think so badly of me. I bet he thinks me a slut as well now.
I was standing outside on the terrene looking out of the dark gardens. I still couldn't control my heart and the thoughts running through my head. Even if what I just did was very bad that kiss... it was... incredible. I mean it was amazing. He was amazing and however much I know it couldn't happen again and that it was bad. I so wanted too.
I wish he was here again, kissing me again, touching me...
“Hello beautiful” a voice said behind me.
I knew that voice that sent ice cold shivers all down my body that made my heart stop beating and jumped to my throat. You know that panicking feeling where you can't control your breathing or your eyes from tearing up, you don't know whether to move or not and you forget how to speak.
I slowly made myself turn round to look in the eyes of the devil that I haven't seen for so long but things were different now, I was different. I'm not that naive, young helpless girl anymore. I'm smarter now, I've learnt from my mistakes, mistakes like never being in the same room as this guy.
I started walking past him to go back to the party. I didn't feel save here, with him all alone. As I moved past him he pulled his arms out and pulled me into a hug. I was scared and shocked at what he was doing so I just stood there still, letting him hug me.
“Cousin I've missed you. And you've missed me, haven't you... oh I can see it in your eyes. You've missed me” he said pulling out of his hug but kept me at arm’s length away, laughing at me. “Wow, you look... incredible. These last five years have done you wonders” he started rubbing his hands on my arms. I pulled away and took a step back hitting the concrete wall around the terrene.
“What... do you... want?” I tried to say but the panicking feeling was back when he moved closer to me and I couldn't go back anymore.
“That's not a very nice way to talk about your cousin that you haven't seen in five years Leah” he said brushing the back of his hand across my cheek. “You've grown into yourself. Your face has lost its baby fat and your figure... you're ravishing. Your full breasts and curvy hips are lusting. I bet them hips of yours can do wonders” he said moving closer and groping my waist.
“Please...” I said with tears falling from my cheeks. Why couldn't I be stronger? I never wanted him to make me cry never again and look at me now, I'm a mess.
“Please? Please kiss me Alex? I want you Alex, please have sex with me? Which one was it to be Leah?” He teased; he knew what I meant, what was wrong with him.
“Please get away from me” I managed to say.
“Hmm... No I don't think I'm going to do that” he said coming toward me, Oh God he was going to kiss me. I did the first thing that came into my head and slapped him around the face. It wasn't that hard because how close we were I had not much room.
“You little bitch” he said taking my wrist and squeezed it tight making my hand burn. “You'll pay for that” He said bringing his other hand up to hit me...
“What the Hell Alex?” a voice came from the door way. My heart went too fluttered and whoever it was that just saved me from my cousin's rage. Alex and I both looked around to see his brother standing there in the door way, Joseph.
“Jo, what are you going here?” Alex said taking a step away from me trying to pretend that what he just saw wasn't what it looked like but his brother wasn't buying it.
“Shut up Alex!” Joseph shouted both shocking me and him. “Leah why don't you go in and find Nan I think she's looking for you” he said kindly to me. I was much younger than Jo and never really knew him as a man but in the last minute I classed him one of by closest friends who saved me tonight. As I walked past him he gently held my arm and whispered “Are you alright?” I gave a sad smile and nodded my head before running off to find my Nan.
That was it, I can't stay here any longer. To start with it was just the thought of seeing Chris after what I just did that scared me but now... knowing that Alex was here being just as I remembered him five years ago being I can't stand it. I can't be in the same room as him without being terrified of what he can do.
After tomorrow was done with being Granddads Birthday and all, I won't be staying the whole week, I'm going to leave and as soon as I got back to London I would start looking for a new job as well. I don't know what happened tonight but whatever if was it can't happen again. He was with Jess, someone that was far better than me. He wouldn't want me. He must have just been drunk tonight or it was just... a joke.
Oh I don't No! I can't think about it now, there are too many thoughts going around my head.
All I know is that after tomorrow night is over with I'm leaving. Never wanting to see Alex and Chris again.
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I'm going to kill her! I don't care if I go to prison! I'm going to throttle her! Why did she say that? Why? Everything was going so great with Lea, I finally actually did something about the way I feel about her. Granted I didn't actually tell her but I tried to show her.
And it was amazing, the best thing I've ever done in my life. She was perfect and was all mine. I never thought that she would have reacted the way that she did but she was enjoying it as much as I was. Until Jess came along and messed everything up for us by saying that we were engaged. What the hell was that all about? Why would she start to think that? Did she not get the fact that we broke up this afternoon.
Seeing Lea's eyes as we heard the girls walk away I could see the hate in her eyes and it was breaking my heart. I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her everything, tell her it wasn't true and she was the one I wanted but I couldn't. I was in shock. Total shock!
“I've got to go” she said before running out the room leaving me here just staring at the door. She hated me. I knew she did, her eyes… they looked so hurt.
I needed to sort this out and find out what Jess was planning. I walked out of the room and started looking for Jess when Gemma came running up to be with Lilly beside her.
“Is it true?” she said putting her hands on her hips.
“Is what true?” I asked still looking around the room for Jess to explain herself. “Have you seen Jess?” I asked
“No I haven't and I don't wish to. You can't really be marrying her can you Chris?” She asked
“No! It's a miss understanding and I would appreciate it if you could tell others this fact” I said seriously to them both who smiled back at me walking away.
I continued to look for Jess when I saw her talking to a bunch of young guys in the corner. I walked up to her not caring if I was being rude or not and pulled her away from the group.
“Chris…?” she started to say but I just her and pulled her into one of the rooms. I seem to be pulling a lot of people in rooms tonight, but I can tell you now that this won't be the same from the first.
“What have you done Jess?” I said angrily at her as she looks at me innocently
“I don't know what you're talking about Christian” she said
“You've told everyone that we're getting married and don't tell me it's just a rumour that someone made up because I heard you tell Mary that we were. Why Jess? What is wrong with you?”
“You don't understand Chris I've done this for us. You'll thank me later, when you see that you've made a mistake you'll see” she said pulling her hands all over my chest. I pulled her arms away from me.
“You're crazy Jess. I won't change my mind about us because I don't want to be with you Jess. I will never want you when…”
“Oh go on say it, you'll never want me when you have Leah is that right?” she shouted at me. “Well let me tell you something Christian Howard, I won't let this go. I won't let you go to that… bitch! I will always be here, I will never give up on you and making her life a living misery” she said. God she is crazy!
“Leave her out of this” I shouted back
“Why? You didn't, you're leaving me for her and because of that I won't stop until I've broken you both up”
“And I won't stop stopping you” I shouted before leaving the room. I had to get out of there before I hit her. I needed some air and then I needed to find Lea and see if she was ok.
I went out on the terrene but there were to guys having an argument out there. I was about to walk away when I heard who they were talking about.
“Why can't you just leave Leah alone?” a guy shouted
It wasn't till I got a little closer to them that I noticed they were Lea's cousins Joseph and Alex. I suddenly remembered what Lea told me about what Alex did to Lea when she was younger and wanted to kill him.
“What's wrong with you?” Joseph said.
“With me? Did you not see her hit me?” Alex said back to his brother.
'Yes because you were going to kiss her! She's our cousin Alex what is wrong with you' Joseph said turning round and walking away leaving Alex there.
He did what? He tried to kiss her! I don't know what happened but all I saw was red and I couldn’t control by actions. I followed him out into the hallway and something in me snapped.
I walk straight towards him, grabbing him by the throat and hitting him into the wall.
With his feet dangling from the floor from where I've grabbed him from around the throat.
“Whh...At, what the...hell” he tried to say moving his arms up to try and remove mine.
I brought my face closer to his and whispered, “Consider this a warning, stay away from Leah and stay away from her family” I said. With my anger getting out of control I found it hard to breathe. The thought of this... ass holes hands over Lea made me sick, the fact the he hurt her and scared her made me what to kill him. Which I could easy do right now...
“I am her family you jerk” he said. Tightening my hand around his neck I say.
“Not where she's concerned. Now I know what you did to her. What do you think will happen if someone...told everyone, I bet Daddy won't be too impressed you tried to rape your cousin!”
“Who would believe you and what do you care...oh... you actually like her”
Fire filled up inside me and I couldn't stop my hand punching him in the ribs making him full to the ground. I picked him up from the neck again and chucked him to the other side of the wall, holding him up like before.
My voice became loud and deeper with the anger building up in me.
Alex looked terrified
“WHAT I FEEL FOR Leah, is none off your damn business, the only thing you should be worrying about is disappearing”
I let him go and he dropped to the floor in pain and holding his ribs.
“Stay away from her” was the last thing I said before walking away from him.
I need to get out of here.
I need time to breathe, to think and calm down.