IT’S ALL ABOUT LOVING A SOLDIER……!!!! <3
Nicky BaBa
May be I was too much inspired by William Shakespeare’s writings and it became the sole reason for me to believe in two things.
a) - True love is “marriage of minds”.
b) - Love is not love, if it changes with time.
But my real life story was never as romantic as my beliefs. Instead it was a tragic piece of work which made me as dramatic and exaggerating as a Hollywood hero who would say it very staunchly that “life is all about pain and tears”. The story could have remained monotonous and mournful, had I denied meeting this guy. Everything changed with a mere facebook friend request.
Hi…I am Priya, a simple sweet ordinary girl, born and brought up in Indian culture, a culture of love, respect and collectivism, nurturing the roots of unity and sacrifice. Though my grooming was done in a very organized and sophisticated manner but in spite of every right step I was wrong. I was wrong for I was a black sheep. I was a bit unique, I was distinct for I was rational and the greatest flaw in my personality was, I was highly individualistic, extreme contrast of my basic culture.
Thanks to my parents who gave me the liberty to make choices and freedom with responsibility that I developed a rarely observable personality type in Indian context.
Good in studies, having a loving friend circle and a cool social image, I had a weird personal life when it comes to making intimate relationship with opposite gender. For it is always challenging to adjust with the norms and values of another individual, compromise and develop coordination. For a single child like me who rarely compromised in terms of personal values; relationship was like that titanic ship which is to be designed for devastation.
My ideology of living was very clear since beginning, “my life, my rules, and my ways.” I always tried to justify my relationship failures by studying Interesting psychological facts which are available for free on the internet, for example _
Women who remain single are likely to be achievers of above average Intelligence. This can make them difficult to find an unattached man of equal status, because men mostly prefer to marry down.
Something as soothing as this is often available on the social networks. When you are a fox you find grapes sour even before you could taste them. Trust me…….!!!! It is the only oxygen available to single people like us in a much suffocated world of committed living where people are in a relationship even before they have their wisdom tooth.
Anyways, love is beyond age, race and boundaries so let’s not bring the intelligence in between emotions and expression of feelings.
My problem was Love never made me Happy; it just made me Cry for I was a very ordinary girl, not addicted to special treatments. We never had enough to satiate our wants but in spite of all those deficiencies we were content with our not so special life. In India we usually call such people as “Mango People”- The common ordinary man, who is very famous in Bollywood , thanks to my personal favorite Salman Khan ( a bollywood hero) for he cares to include those highly decorated dialogues that makes a mango man feel special……!!!
As an Indian ordinary man we can never deny to give thanks to Shahrukh khan (another bollywood hero) whose world famous dialogue says- “Don’t underestimate the power of a common man”, it seems like it’s a thanks-giving speech so let’s not forget to thank aam-aadmi party (common-man party) a political party newly entered in the market of democracy, which made a trivial civilian feel special at least by its name.
By now you must have understood me and my so very complicated thinking process full of ordinary and casual dilemmas yet extra-ordinary, reason being it is associated with my life. We people take our life so seriously, even a pencil becomes special if you own it.
Though I smile a lot, seem friendly, supportive, and sweet but I am not so happy; as my life is too much inspired by a fictional character Mr. Sydney carton, the tragic hero of Charles Dickens’s novel – A Tale of two Cities. Those who have read the novel might be well aware about the characteristics of Mr. Carton and for those who don’t; I shall just mention a memorable dialogue and describe him in his own words.
“I am a disappointed drudge sir, I care for no man on earth and no man on earth, cares for me.” – Sydney Carton.
Those who know me well, they call me a female version of Sydney Carton. I relate myself a lot with Carton, the only difference apart from gender is he was a drunkard and I can’t afford even a bottle of beer.
It’s not so that I don’t feel like drinking but it’s just that my upbringing doesn’t allow me to go for drinking. Being an Indian Brahmin girl child drinking is next to Satan. Besides the best part of being a Homo sapiens female is you are born with the boon of voice, language, friends and tears that helps a lot to ventilate loads of emotions. Usually when you are too sentimental you are nothing less than a drunkard, so technically who needs a beer when you have all the potential to behave like a drunkard without being drunk ;)
I was 23, I was frustrated for I could not find the reason behind all those accusation made by my ex-dates. Am I really Insane as briefed by the Christian lawyer, my first date? Am I really so mean and selfish? Am I really so strange that I deserve no guy on earth?
Am I really as childish and immature as described by my last ex, who used to cry on phone amidst all those telephonic conversations for almost every night. The 28 year old man used to discuss all his distress with me, how life has been loutish and unfair to him and he even gave me the honor of being the most understanding lady of his life. Suddenly one day his rich father fixed his marriage with a richer daughter of another rich father and since that day I became an immature, ill-mannered, selfish, gruff Bella who rarely bothers about the world and other’s problem. I just wonder why I should bother about worldly issues when I have my own problems to deal with. Well…..the guy taught me a lesson that a man is not kind to you, even when you have the patience to bear his cacophonic voice and tolerated his singing at that point when the world denied to accept his existence as a man.
Burning the bridges behind, I just learnt to move ahead and I attended the wedding ceremony of the same frog and gifted him a book, “how to become a tolerable singer” on his reception.
I just kept wondering, it’s a strange world where the frog gets a nightingale for himself but a sensible, simple human cannot find another human who is a bit humane like her. So, after all such stupid, nonsense break-up stories, it was quite natural for me to behave like Sydney Carton. Another reason why I couldn’t afford a beer was my unemployment as I was still dependent on my parents pursuing my masters in psychology.