Later that same night, Seth lay on the couch in Chas’ living room and pretended to fall asleep. He stared at the ceiling and stretched his arms over his head. He felt like crap. He’d called in sick for work that night and sent Nixie to take his place. He felt like a loser when he weaseled out on his responsibilities.
But he couldn’t go out tonight, not when he knew that it was the evening of the Occult’s Addict’s weekly meeting. Juliet might call for a Safewalk and he couldn’t be there when she did. He couldn’t look at her.
Lately, he saw her everywhere. He hated giving her the slip, but approaching her felt wrong. She had broken up with him. He had to give her the space she asked for. However, even though that mentality was correct, doing it was practically breaking him in half. She was always walking down the hall or crossing the lawn at the exact same time he was. Trying to avoid her was turning into a game of cat and mouse. She couldn’t be trying to hunt him down. She dumped him. Well, whatever her goals, she was making a mess out of him. She always looked lovely, too. How was he supposed to leave her alone?
Just then, Chas appeared in the living room carrying the cordless phone. “Raidne’s on the phone for you.”
Seth flopped onto the floor and glowered at his brother. “I don’t want to talk to her.”
“He says he doesn’t want to talk to you... Okay, I’ll tell him” Chas said into the receiver. Then he said to Seth, “She says if you won’t talk to her, she’ll dislocate both your shoulders the next time she sees you.”
“So what?” Seth spat, his face in the carpet. “She’s already planning on breaking both my knees, my third and fourth ribs and my left wrist.”
Chas listened intently to Raidne as she spoke. Then he announced cheerfully, “She says she’ll forget all her previous threats if you talk to her.”
Seth jumped up. “Give me the phone! Raidne,” he said snatching the receiver from Chas.
The female voice that sounded through the speaker was like butter, perfectly pitched and perfectly smooth. “I promised nothing of the sort,” she said pleasantly, “but now I won’t dislocate your shoulders. That should make you happy. However, I’m displeased with your familiar greeting. Call me by my title.”
“But…” Seth stuttered, giving Chas a dirty look.
His brother shrugged his shoulders and left the room like he didn’t care how their quarrel ended.
“Chas doesn’t have to call you that,” Seth defended.
“When you’re as old as Chas, you can call me by my first name. Until then, I expect you to do as you are told. Let me hear it.”
“Mother,” he said, relenting. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“Chas told me you had a girl in your room last week. You didn’t bite her. Why not? You’re too old to take Chas’ hand-outs. Where’s your pride?”
Seth breathed deeply and offered the only excuse he had in the wings, except his voice was small and strained, “What about what you told me when I was little?”
She hesitated. “Are you talking about those bites marks on your neck?”
“Yeah,” he said softly.
“All right, I see your problem,” she said, yielding slightly. “But let me ask you one question. How are you going to live if you don’t build up a clientele like Chas? Isn’t that the bottom line? You vomit after eating raw fish, don’t you? You get ill smelling Nixie’s meals. You’re making Chas work twice as hard and for what? You’re a grown man. Frankly, I’m beginning to be ashamed of you. You weren’t like this when you were a boy.”
“I hate myself when I think of the things I did then,” Seth said softly.
“That’s why this is a curse. You think this is supposed to be fun? You think we are allowed to live like normal people? Seth, I’ve had enough of this. You have to get at least one donor for yourself by the end of the year, or I’ll order Chas to cut you off entirely, and I’ll come and take you home with me. Would you like that? Do you want to be a murderer instead of just a monster? Sing for your supper like your brother, or kill for your supper like your mother. Do you understand me?”
Seth swallowed. He couldn’t bear to answer.
“Do you understand me?” she repeated in an icy tone.
“I understand,” he whispered.
“I hate it when you act weak, Seth. You’re supposed to be the strongest of all of us. You’re supposed to be the one to save us.”
“You’re such a hypocrite,” he bit. “How am I supposed to be an acceptable offering for her if I’ve already tainted my fangs on another?”
“It’s not going to bother her. Don’t kid yourself. She has soiled her hands in ways you can’t imagine.”
He snorted.
“I’ll be up in January to check on you.”
Seth hesitated. “How should I start?”
“Obviously, with that girl who was in your room last week.”
Seth was going to regret what he planned to say next, but he had to say it. Leaving it out of his argument wouldn’t help him. “What if I care about her? What if I care too much to think of her as my next meal?”
Raidne sniffed. “Are you sure she’s not our girl?”
Seth tightened his grip on the receiver. He had never thought of that. What if Juliet was the one he was waiting for?
***
After Juliet shared her story at the Occult’s Addict meeting, everyone talked freely of the strange things that had happened to them in their lives, involving death and not involving death. Mostly, they were stories that everyone knew except for Juliet. These people had been friends for a long time, but they were willing to welcome her into their circle. She heard many things that made her smile even though she felt dead inside.
She didn’t know why, but being dressed in her black dress, the one she hoped Seth would admire her in, made her feel doubly depressed, even without the reminder of what an incomplete person she was. She felt cold and empty. If only she could find some way to fill herself up.
Toward the end of the evening, Rylan sat alone with her on one of the couches. “Earlier, I gave you that coin. Will you tell me what you wished for?”
“Doesn’t that spoil the wish’s chance for coming true?” she asked.
He shook his head. “On the contrary, you have to tell me your wish if you want it to come true.”
“So, you’re the one who really grants the wishes, like Santa Claus?”
Rylan laughed. “I am nothing like Santa Claus, but I would grant one of your wishes if you wanted me to. Tell me. What did you wish for? Seth?”
“No,” she said, sighing. “He doesn’t really want me.”
Rylan was silent for a moment. Then he lifted the tails of the crimson ribbon attached to her wrist and laced them between his fingers. “At a time like this, I always say the wrong thing. I can’t seem to help it, and I have to take extra care if I’m going to win you over this time.”
“What would you normally say?” she asked slyly.
He groaned. “I know this is a trap you’re holding open for me. I’m not going to fall in.”
“You love saying the wrong thing. How will you resist the temptation?” she asked dreamily.
“By changing the subject, of course. I’ll ask you for a favor,” he said, smiling slightly.
“A favor? Like what?”
“Can I walk you back to your dorm tonight? Don’t call for a Safewalk. Let me take you.”
Seth had already sent other people to walk with her once, so what would stop him from doing it again? She would rather have Rylan’s warm arm to lean on than no one, so she smiled and nodded her consent.
“I don’t know why you’re suddenly so patient with me,” she said. “Aren’t I a brat?”
“The worst kind, but... I can’t keep my eyes off you. So, I’ll put up with your crap.”
Then, without warning, Rylan leaned toward her and kissed the corner of her mouth.
Juliet didn’t black out, but she jumped a little and stared at him.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked. His eyes looked genuinely concerned. “I didn’t mean…”
Juliet couldn’t listen to him. She was staring at his face. He looked so gentle and worried about her. In the mirror of his eyes, she looked far more hurt than she had admitted. She was overwhelmed by loneliness and depression. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how much she wanted someone to touch her, someone to admire her, and in truth, someone to want her. She told everyone she enjoyed being by herself, just like she told herself, but the truth was she hadn’t been allowed to have a boyfriend before university, thanks to her parents. Now that she was away from home and technically an adult, she just wanted someone’s hands on her. She felt deserted by Seth. So much so that she just wanted someone to want her. She didn’t know if it even mattered who, and here was Rylan, suddenly completely at her beck-and-call. She wasn’t experienced enough to know that these things did not mix well.
“Kiss me again,” she said, hunger and excitement glowing in her face.
Rylan narrowed his brown eyes and examined her expression. Then he leaned in and said, “Should I? I know that this isn’t a good time for the two of us to get together. You’re too vulnerable for words, and unfortunately for you, I’m not really the type to back off because of timing. I’ll take you as far as you want to go, but I don’t want you to have regrets.”
“I won’t have any,” Juliet said, throwing her unrequited love for Seth carelessly out the window and focusing on Rylan’s safe, soft brown eyes instead.
“That’s all well and good, but I still have to warn you. If you want to do this sort of thing with me tonight, you can’t blow me off in the morning. It doesn’t work like that with me. I won’t be your one night stand. You’re a good girl and you wouldn’t do that to me, right?”
“No, I wouldn’t,” she said, remembering that she was a good girl. Everyone always told her that. It must be true, if they all said it, so it was all right to promise she wouldn’t use him.
“And you’re still fine with that?” he asked, searching her eyes.
“Yeah,” she mouthed. She was sick of their talk already. She didn’t want to hear his warning. She just wanted to be kissed. She wanted to be kissed for hours without fear of fainting. Her mind began reeling at the possibility of what she could do with Rylan that had never been possible with Seth.
She nodded again.
“Then? My place or yours?” he asked smoothly.
“Mine’s closer.”
“Excellent.”
Rylan took her hand and led her to the door.
***
Juliet and Rylan walked with their arms around each other to Juliet’s dormitory. The air was cold and their breath spread like steam into the frigid, late-autumn air.
Neither of them said anything. The silence between them was comfortable and easy. She felt excited about what would happen once they were alone, but for the time being, she was comforted. Finally, she felt desired and wanted, like she had something to offer.
When they entered her dorm room, Rylan’s fingers eased around Juliet’s shoulders and he helped her take off her coat. He found a hanger in the closet and hung it up along with his coat. He sat her down on her computer chair and lifting her ankles, unzipped her boots. He put them on the mat by the door so that the few remaining snowflakes wouldn’t melt into the carpet.
By the time he was untying his own shoes, Juliet was horribly exasperated. “I’m dying here,” she said.
“I know,” he whispered, “but this has never happened to me before, so I have to take it slow and enjoy it.”
“You’ve never been invited into a girl’s dorm room before?”
He smiled, but said nothing.
Finally, he stood in front of her and undid his bow tie and the first three buttons down his shirt. “I have my theories about how this is going to work. Let me know if it gets too scary for you.”
Juliet stared at him. What was he talking about?
He knelt in front of her and looked into her eyes like he was preparing to do something amazing and then, he did.
Rylan’s kiss wasn’t like Seth’s. His breath wasn’t as hot and his mouth had a much different flavor. Kissing Seth was like swallowing blood, while kissing Rylan was like kissing ice. His fingers and lips were still cold from being outside. Those icy fingers were in her hair and resting on her waist.
“Don’t pass out,” he whispered after a few seconds. “Hang onto me.”
She put her arms around his shoulders and scooted herself off the chair and into his lap. Maybe she could warm him up. Parting her lips, she accepted Rylan’s kiss. She really wanted it. She really wanted to feel loved, to feel accepted by someone, to feel whole. Her life had been emptiness, endless wondering of what kind of tragic soul she had begun as, and when Rylan held her, she felt like she was getting closer to understanding herself.
Then it happened.
She didn’t understand. Weren’t her visions something that only happened when she kissed Seth? Blackness consumed her.
Juliet sat up in a large, beautiful bed. The covers were silky black, just like the entire room around her. It wasn’t like the black of Seth’s room. Seth’s room was just in shadow. In the new room, the walls were made of onyx, the ceiling of vaulted black marble, and the intricately carved bed frame of heavy ebony.
Then a man entered the room. She couldn’t see his face or hear his voice though he was talking to her. The only thing she could see was his torso, half-naked. He exposed the whitest, most beautifully chiseled body she had ever imagined, like a Grecian statue.
Juliet didn’t like the way he was talking to her and she felt her mouth tighten into a hateful line. Soon, they were arguing and she was yelling and cursing. She was throwing pillows at him while he laughed, so she hurled a glass vase at him and dared him to laugh again.
She hated this man more than anything. She hated everything about him: his looks, his voice, his thoughts, but more than anything, she hated the power he had over her.
He caught the vase in an open palm, the flowers and water fell behind him and splashed on the floor. He bounced the vase in his palm, pondering. Then abruptly, he deliberately smashed it on the floor. It broke into thousands of shining shards that reflected like stars on the black marble flooring. Then he did something strange. He trod over the broken glass, barefoot. The sound of his flesh on the glass grated her nerves until she thought she could feel his pain in the soles of her own feet. How could he do that to himself? He bent and retrieved one of the fallen flowers. It was a white flower with six pointed petals and a little cup in the center almost like a daffodil.
Then she heard his voice, deep and slightly echoing through the large chamber. “Do you know what this flower is, my love?” he asked languidly. “It’s a white narcissus. Do you know what it symbolizes?”
She did know, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of obeying him, so she stayed silent.
“It symbolizes selfishness,” he answered his own question and offered her the flower.
She knocked his hand away.
His mouth curved into a half smile, the upward curve, half intrigue, the downward curve, half hate. Then he violently pushed her back onto the bed. As he lowered himself on top of her the blackness consumed her again.
***
Seth paced his bedroom for hours that night. He had to find the answer to Raidne’s question. He didn’t think it was ridiculous, and indeed, he wondered why he hadn’t thought of it himself.
His mind was not whole and his memories were blotchy. He put his fingers to the first set of bite marks on his neck. His memories of the first time he was with her were fuzzy at best.
The second time he met her she had long, curling red hair. For some reason, he always thought that was the way she would always look, but when Raidne asked him so bluntly, his mind took a turn. Why did she have to have red hair? Why couldn’t she look like anything, or anyone? Why couldn’t she look like Juliet?
When Seth thought that, his heart began pounding. He was overly excited. He needed to calm down.
He looked at his clock. It was four o’clock. He couldn’t call Juliet now. He’d have to wait until morning. But the minutes took an eternity to pass and his heart beat faster than the clock ticked.
***
In the morning, Juliet woke up with a man’s arm draped over her shoulder. Her hands immediately checked her body to see what had been done to her while she was unconscious. Like Seth, Rylan had left her in her clothing. Except that Rylan was there the morning after when Seth had left her without explanation.
Her blankets were wrapped around both of them. Waking up with a man in her bed should have been the craziest thing that had ever happened to her, but she felt nothing. No regret. Not sorry she had jumped into something strange with Rylan. Not sorry she had not kept her promise to Seth. The only thing she did feel was grateful Rylan had not left. His body was warm in bed with her.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, moved almost to tears, but she didn’t know if he could hear her.
She thought he was asleep, but he answered, mumbling, “It was nothing. I wanted to stay. But it feels so early. Go back to sleep.”
She rolled over and kissed a pattern down the side of his face.
Rylan smiled and, keeping his eyes closed, said, “I’ve died and gone to Heaven.”
He moved to kiss her, but she evaded him. “I don’t want to pass out again,” she explained.
“Did you dream?” he asked, still keeping his eyes closed.
“Yeah, I did.”
“What vision did you see?”
She paused before answering. More than any of her other visions, the last one really confused her. “I don’t know. There was a man. He was controlling and…”
Suddenly, Juliet’s cell phone chimed.
“Ignore it,” Rylan advised, intertwining their fingers.
“No. I’ve got to get it. If I don’t, and it’s my mom, she’ll worry.”
Rylan let her go. “Well, we wouldn’t want that.”
Juliet picked up the phone on the fourth ring without checking the caller. “Hi, this is Juliet,” she said cheerfully, trying to pretend she hadn’t just been half asleep.
“It’s me,” a melancholy male voice said. Juliet’s heart skipped a beat. It could only be Seth. “I need to see you,” he said.
Juliet gaped and turned her back to Rylan. “What?”
“I changed my mind. I want to see you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know about me, so please come back.”
“I... I...” she stuttered, not knowing how to answer. She hadn’t even done anything much and now Seth was literally begging. Regret she promised she wouldn’t feel stung her heart. If she’d only waited eight more hours. “I…”
“I know I acted badly. I’ll stop being a jackass. Please, just give me one more chance,” he pleaded.
“I don’t know,” she said, glancing at Rylan.
He was standing at the foot of the bed, and the golden brown of his eyes was gone. His eyes were now the color of the most recently shed blood—almost shining.
Rylan took the phone from the stunned Juliet and began speaking, “So sorry, Seth. I’m here. She’ll have to call you back. You shouldn’t call so early in the morning. It’s rude.” He handed the disconnected phone back to Juliet and got back into bed.