Quincy sat on the warm hood of his dead car in bitter contrast with the wind that bit at him. The December winds were brutal today. Quincy picked at a spot of rust that felt like cancer as his fingers ran across it. He adjusted his coat and looked through the windshield. He saw Alice reclining in the front seat, her light blonde hair strewn across her face.
William was drawing on the fogged up windows as his girlfriend Roslyn read her biology book. Quincy met eyes with William who smiled reassuringly back at him.
Quincy exhaled, his breath appearing as great white puffs in the light of the orange setting sun. On one hand, they were just off the exit ramp and a hotel could be seen. It was within walking distance and could at least give shelter for the night. On the other hand, they probably wouldn’t make it to their last show of their winter tour. Vinyl Confessions wouldn’t be happy with it, but Quincy thought them to be a very pompous group, hardly even considered pop.
He looked at the rusty spot again and cursed. “There will be other tours.” He hopped off his car and walked to William’s door. He opened it and knelt down.
“Well, Will, it’s dead. Engine won’t even turn or some shit.” Quincy looked at the drawings William had rendered on his window. There was the Sunflower Heart band logo Lipstick Trace had adopted.
William drew a headstone on his window. “Wood died as he lived.” William paused dramatically. “Pitifully.”
Quincy held his slapping hand back as he would soon need William’s help in pushing his car and didn’t want him upset. “Just…help me get the car pushed into that hotel parking lot. It’ll be dark soon and we can at least stay there until we get a ride back home.”
Roslyn put a bookmark on her page she was reading. “Wake your woman, I’ll help push.”
As Will & Roslyn exited the car, Quincy opened up Alice’s door. He put his hands up to her cheek which made her jump.
“Cold!” she jerked away from him. Wiping the sleep from her eyes she righted herself in her seat and assessed her surroundings. “Did your car die?”
“No, he’s taking a nap.” He improved upon the truth.
“I told you to get it looked at before we left, would you listen?” She rolled her eyes and got out of the car. “What do you want me to do?”
“Push please, Miss Infallible.” Quincy responded.
William, Roslyn & Quin began pushing the car towards the hotel with Alice at the wheel. It took them a few minutes, and despite the cold they were soon a little sweaty.
Quincy didn’t like the fact that he hadn’t listened to Alice, and liked even less the fact that she had been right. “Stay here guys, I’m going to get us some rooms. Can you guys watch the car until I get back?”
“Yes Q, I’ll make sure nobody hijacks it.” Alice saluted him.
Feeling all kinds of happy, Quincy took out his credit card and put it in his coat pocket for easier access. As he approached the desk girl, he wondered to how uncomfortable she must be. She looked like she had better places to be, and kept glancing up at the clock. Her nails rapped a spiteful melody on the counter and her bubble gum popped with a ridiculous intensity.
She eyed Quincy as he approached and her eyebrows formed a V as he came closer. She stopped rapping on the counter and flashed the best pseudo-smile he had ever seen. Her red lipstick was almost too bold for a desk job. “Hi, welcome to the Roadside Rest. How can I help you?”
Quincy compared her customer service skills to his, and realized that perhaps his needed refinement. He could tell she hated her job, but she seemed happier in her speech than he ever had. Taking a mental note, he began. “I need a room for four this evening please.”
She typed rapidly on the computer in front of her, her eyes moved across the screen like a pair of salsa dancers. She emitted a low hum and shook her head. “I’m sorry we don’t have any rooms with double beds. I have single rooms, that’s the best I can do. It’ll be fifty-nine dollars after tax for each.”
Quincy ran the numbers in his head and it occurred to him that he and Alice would be sharing a bed. He found himself smiling a little bit at that thought. “Okay, that’s fine. It’ll be plastic.” He handed her his card which she carefully inspected.
She asked him for his ID, and he dug it out of his wallet. The hotel, he noticed, wasn’t actually so bad. It had some vending machines and had cable, he saw, from the brochure on the front counter. She handed him his two magnetic room keys. “I’m Diana, if you need anything, let me know.” She touched his hand lightly with hers as she returned the card to him. The touch gave him pause, and her eyes met his for the briefest moment. It was a shame, because Alice walked through the door at that time.
Alice hadn’t noticed him, he suspected, but still, a feeling of guilt latched onto him. He smiled remorsefully at Diana, and walked off to join the rest of his group.
“Looks like we’ll be sleeping in separate rooms tonight guys…and girls.” He added as an afterthought, catching a glance from Roslyn. “Couldn’t get the same room with double beds.”
“That’s fine with me Quincy I didn’t wanna sleep in the same room as you anyway. It’d make cuddling with William exceptionally awkward in light of your latent lust for him.” Roslyn stated.
Quincy stopped breathing. “Yeah. Whatever you just said. Go for it.” He put his hand on Alice’s shoulder and started to walk out towards his car to pick up their basic living essentials.
“You go get our stuff…” Alice said distantly, “I’m going to call home and let our parents know what’s happened.” She paused, catching Quincy’s glare. “Well…not yours obviously, but I’ll at least let the rest of ours know.”
“Yeah. Appreciate that.” Quincy said, as he walked off toward the car. Diana’s bubble gum popping and finger nail tapping had resumed.
***
Alice held a brief conversation with each of the respective parents. The Denslie’s & Ms. Lyden were the easiest to deal with. When it came time to talk to her own parents, Alice had to do a little truth modification.
“Yes Dad, I understand if we sleep in the same bed you’ll give him a new reason for being sad.” She laughed. “Of course, of course you were kidding.” She hung up the phone on her father feeling rather okay about things. She stepped back into the lobby. Her eyes fell upon the desk girl, and Alice recalled the longer than necessary hand touch she had seen the girl exchange with her boyfriend.
Alice took the stairs back up to her and Quincy’s room and found their backpacks sitting on the bed. She sat on the chair next to the sliding glass doors that overlooked the abysmally small patio. The night was fast approaching, and her mind wandered back to the desk girl and Quincy. Her lip curled with a touch of malice and she realized that her imagination was still her worst enemy.
Quincy walked out from the bathroom with a goofy grin on his face. “Room smells like potpourri, doesn’t it?”
Alice made herself smile.
“Yeah, sucks about Wood though, he added.”
“Well, if you’d listened to me about fifty miles ago you mightn’t be in this situation right now, eh Abrams?” Alice used his surname purposely, knowing it’d be like a little dagger under his fingernail.
Quincy sat on the bed. “Yeah, I know you were right, it’s just a stupid guy thing. Stubbornness, you know?”
“So Roslyn’s Mom says she’ll pick us up tomorrow morning. She’s got the biggest car out of our parents.’” Alice got up and sat down beside Quincy. He smelled grungy. “You need a shower, you kinda smell like ass.”
Quincy laughed. “Sorry! Next time I’ll drive and you can push, would that be okay, Princess?”
She grinned, pleased that she was getting to him. “And another thing, getting a shower might help you with that little slut downstairs too. She might seem sour on the outside, but I’m sure with a little flirting she’ll be all over you tonight if you wanted.”
Quincy stood. “Sorry, what?”
“You and her, I saw what was going on between you.” Alice felt her face flushing, and didn’t care to research the situation much. Maybe it was her jaded nature or past that made her automatically suspect her boyfriend of treachery.
“I will tell you if anything ever happens, she was just handing me card back. She was a little touchy, but that’s nothing worth accusing me of flirting about.”
“I seem to think it is. I know men, and that little touch probably sent you reeling didn’t it?”
“You seem to be going really stupid over a five second feel.” Quincy crossed his arms.
“What is this really about?”
“This is what it’s really about Quincy.”
“You want me to go downstairs then? Cuz honestly, I was easily admitting to you right back there, that I was wrong and you just seem like you didn’t even hear me.
“Seems like you just wanted to rip me a new one for the passing touch of some random chick. She touched my hand for a bit longer than a standard second…so what? Jeez, I didn’t do anything with her. Unless you want me to? Let you have a really good reason for pissing you off?”
Alice walked up to him, stared in his eyes for a ‘bit longer than a standard second’ and landed a solid hit in his jaw.
“What the hell!” he exclaimed in total surprise, his eyes were wide and his hands flew to his face to massage his jaw.
“Seems to me you deserved it.” Alice said, as she stalked off and locked herself in the bathroom. She slid down against the door and sat cross legged in the strangely fragrant bathroom. Her tears came quickly, as did Quincy’s departure from the room as made apparent by the slamming door.
***
Roslyn heard the exchange between Alice & Quincy quite clearly. It was rather difficult to concentrate on her Biology book when you could hear two normally good people venting and raging just next door. As Roslyn heard the door slam, she once again bookmarked her page and got up. “Will, I’m going to see if Alice needs anything.”
“How do I turn on this water faucet? It doesn’t have any knobs.” William replied.
“Lift it up sugar.” She said, as she closed the door behind her. She heard his cry of enlightenment. She knocked gently, certain that Alice would be listening for the slightest sound that Quincy was returning.
“Who is it?” Alice called out.
“Not Quincy.” Roslyn responded. She heard Alice getting closer to the door, and heard a small click from beyond.
Roslyn came in and saw Alice in the light. Her cheeks were red and her fists were clenched. She looked so little to Roslyn in the dim light of her hotel room. “What happened, chicky?” Roslyn asked, sitting down on the short chest of drawers.
“We had a fight, Quincy and I.”
“I doubt anyone in the hotel or five-mile radius would argue against that point.” Roslyn said, tilting her head.
“Did you see Quincy when we first came in the hotel? He was flirting with the counter girl.” Alice shook her head. “And they were looking at each other and just…ooh if he thinks he’s going to cheat on me with some drop out ditz.”
“Alice, are you sure of what you saw?” Roslyn waited, allowing Alice to ponder over her simple question. Roslyn knew precisely well what she had seen, and had a good guess as to what would have happened had they not entered at that time. Nothing.
“He was being flirted with, that is undeniable.” Alice said, storming around in little circles.
“You’re gonna fry a microchip Alice, sit down or I’ll tie you to the bed and tell William what a great time we had.”
“Well what would you do in my stead, had you seen him being touched like that by some strange flirtatious chick?”
“Probably would have waited the space of an hour to see if he was going to bring it up to me first. Course, there is the more realistic option that he didn’t think anything had actually happened and he was just going to let it go.”
“Did you see how guilty he looked when I walked in? It was like he had his hand in the cookie jar.”
“Alright, let’s suppose you’re right about it, what all happened before he stormed out?”
“I punched him. Plain and simple, I was just so furious!” Alice huffed.
“Now see…to me, it makes me wonder how much trust you have for your boyfriend. Did the process cross your mind that maybe he actually is loyal to you and wouldn’t hurt you?”
Alice bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling. “Of course it crossed my mind.”
Roslyn smiled and stared down at her hands. “Okay, so no, it didn’t cross your mind. You jumped to a conclusion that would cause the most drama.”
“That’s not it at all! I just hate feeling like something was happening behind my back.”
Roslyn smirked. “Why? What makes you care so much?”
Alice got up again, and Roslyn shook her head, signaling her to remain seated. “I care so much because…ugh!”
“Remember express yourself please or I can just leave you with your misery and unevaluated thoughts.”
Alice stared up at her, eyes straining to remain open. She looked close to a breakdown; she was scratching on her arms and pursing her lips. “I care so much because… he’s stupid. He’s a jaded metal wannabe. He’s so down, I’m so not. He’s got a spiteful tongue and a hateful disposition, but underneath it all, he’s a good person.
“I hate myself for being a bitch, and I know I am, trust me I do…but I’ve been screwed over before by guys and I just can’t bear the thought of getting screwed by him because crazy as it all sounds, I think I’m really in love with him.”
“Isn’t that what you two mean when you say ‘I love you’?”
“Of course I tell him I love him, it’s what boyfriends and girlfriends do. But when I’ve been saying it to him lately, I really think I mean it.”
“Okay, one…never say it just to be saying it. That’s just…so perverse I can’t even begin to justify it. Two, if he’s been under the impression this whole time that you love him, and not romantic love, you might want to make sure you rectify that upon your next meeting. That is the kind of thing boyfriends should know.”
“Did I ruin what Quincy & I have?” Alice held her face in her hands and sobbed gently.
“I think what happened was, your beginning to love Quincy, felt an unusual amount of jealousy over some chick showing minimal attention to your man, and you immediately revisited your own painful past. You gotta understand Alice, cuz Will & I already do; you are the only girl Goth Boy sees.”
Alice chuckled weakly. “Yeah. Maybe.”
“Also…your hitting him was a shit bag move.
Don’t be a shit bag, Alice. I’m gonna go, Will’s probably flooded the bathroom wondering how to turn off the water faucet.” She started towards the door.
“Thank you.” Alice said, and she turned on the lights in her darkening hotel room. Roslyn closed the door behind her, as gently as she could.
***
“I just can’t believe she punched me is all.” Quincy sighed, as he stared at the blank television.
“Well, you did say you kinda liked it. But that’s beside the point. Wonder what made her go so loco?” William took off his shoes and socks and sat Indian Style on his bed.
“I wish I knew man.” Quincy said as he heard a knock on the door. “That’ll be your lady I presume.” Quincy got up to let her in since Will had just gotten comfortable.
Roslyn inclined her head slightly as Quincy let her in. “Give Al a little bit before you talk to her Q, think she’s got some things to consider. Time will help this one. You can stay here though if you like. It’s getting really cold outside.”
Quincy considered staying in the comfortable room, but his heart was displeased with the thought of comfort at the moment. “No thanks, the cold will do me good.” He said dramatically.
Quincy crossed the highway on foot into the field of grass stretching out before him. It was beginning to snow; little diamonds fell from the sky and landed on his nose. He was feeling less than excited about going back to see Alice, she’d been so vindictive. “God, just fix this. Because I don’t know if I can.” Quincy realized this was the first prayer he had said since moving away.
He eventually reached a chain link fence that overlooked the expressway. He sat down and stared out at the passing cars, headlights speeding along like supersonic fireflies. The wind blew his hair across his forehead, and he became acutely aware of a crunching noise behind him.
He exhaled and reached down and stuck his hands into the accumulating snow. Someone lightly sat down right beside him, and he recognized the smell of Alice’s shampoo. His hands still felt warm despite the snow’s cold affect.
“You love me, Quincy.” Alice began, and Quincy wondered how she was struggling to make her voice steady. He could hear the scratchiness in it like a warped record. “Have you ever questioned it?”
Quincy didn’t turn to face her; he kept his gaze straight ahead on the expressway. “Of course I have. I would be a child to not do so.”
“You know me Quincy, where I’ve been. What kind of person I still struggle not to be.”
Quincy remained silent, knowing that as the silence stretched on, her chances of remaining silent would dwindle. He could always count on Alice to keep talking.
“I don’t want to make something out of nothing, but I do want to make sure nothing affects our something. I think I hurt you earlier, and I want to talk to you about why I did. Can you listen to me?” He felt her hand reach down and grab one of his, placing it firmly on her knee.
“I won’t interrupt you.” He said. “But if you’re going to hit me again, let me know in advance.”
“See? That was part of it. Quincy, I am pretty certain of the fact that even though I’ve made tremendous strides, I think I’m always going to be a jaded bitch when it comes to guys.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to give you the fair chance you deserve. You tell me you love me, and I say I love you. But up until the last few weeks, I don’t think I’ve actually been in love with you.”
Quincy let his silence remain as he turned to look at her. She was staring at him, waiting to meet his gaze. He turned away and waited for her to go on.
“I’m going to hurt you, if I haven’t already. Because I’m actually falling for you Quincy, and I guess because I’ve always been taken advantage of and then abandoned…I am afraid to trust what I have with you. I saw that chick thing touching you today, and all the feelings I’ve been developing lately just came into perfect clarity.”
“So seeing another girl touch me makes you want me more? Well that’s an interesting relationship dynamic.” He laughed.
“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not, but I still am. I feel like I haven’t been honest with you since we started dating. Not completely anyway. I mean. I do love you, and I am in love with you now, but what I thought was love before wasn’t really.
“And I have to make sure you want to be with me, because I’m a horrible person, nothing is going to change that. I’m always going to want my way, and I won’t admit you’re right even if you are. I can’t guarantee I’ll always be kind to you, or not punch you when I’m super emotional.”
“Awesome.” Quincy said. “So I was right about you all along.” He said, turning to look into her eyes. He wanted so desperately to see her clearly right now.
“If you just said that, you weren’t paying attention to a word I said.” Alice got up, tossing his hand off of her.
“And if you leave now, you might not ever get to be proven wrong.” He grimaced.
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore if you’re not going to listen to me.”
“Should I go flirt with the desk girl in the mean time? Could it help out your desire to stick around?” He said caustically.
Alice whimpered quickly, not more than a whisper, but Quincy heard it. “Fine.” Alice said as she walked away.
Quincy felt a weight fall onto his heart and it held him fast as Alice walked away from him. He turned around to see if she would look back. She never did.
In the dying embers of a day where time had been spent, Quincy felt the chill overtake him as he leaned back into the snow and let it cover him completely.
***
William watched the whole exchange from his hotel window. Judging from Alice’s body language on her walk back William decided that perhaps he should put his shoes back on.
“I’m going over to Quincy.” Will said, kissing Roslyn goodbye. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
“Do what you have to Will. Just do it well.” She said, as she once again picked up her book.
Will picked up his thin leather jacket and walked out into the hallway. He heard a door open, and he turned back for a second to see Alice gazing at him through a crack in the door. Will felt that they were exchanging thoughts like radio waves. She was clearly broadcasting on AM, Angry Mode. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head at her, for the first time feeling pretty disappointed in her.
“Quincy loves you Alice. You shouldn’t ever forget that.” He called to her, as she shut her hotel door with an air of exasperation.
Will shook his head and walked towards Quincy. He touched Quincy’s shoulders with the toe of his boot. “Quincy? You still got a heartbeat under there?”
Quincy turned his head to look up at William. “I think I’m still amongst the living.”
“Well, that’s good. You should come in from there, you’ll catch your death of cold then I’ll have to be accountable for your final expenses. It would totally sink the Lipstick Trace budget.”
“That would be a tragedy to rival your face.” Quincy said scathingly.
“I’m serious, get up.” William said, kneeling down and grabbing hold of Quincy’s arms. “You made me a promise once where you and Alice are concerned. Now I expect you to get up, and fix things.”
Quincy groaned.
“Or are you going to promise something, then go back on it?” William asked. “Because if you are, I’m going to have to punch you too…and then go to confession over it.”
“You’re a really bad motivational speaker William.” Quincy said.
“Please?” William said, beginning to shiver. “You’ve got to be freezing, get up.”
Quincy sighed, and allowed William to help him to his feet. “She drives me nuts man. And the worst part about it is, she doesn’t even know it.”
“I got a good solution for you then Mr. Love. Go tell her. Unless…that is, you were wrong about your obsessive litanies. And you just want to…I don’t know, give up.”
“Can I think about that for the next eight hours please? I’ll sleep on the floor.”
William considered him with a resigned sigh. “Yeah, come on up. Though, you wanting to spend the night on my hotel room floor as opposed to with your girlfriend is a little hinky Q.”
“Yeah. Maybe it is.” Quincy said, as he walked back to the hotel.
***
Sunlight filtered through the window of the hotel. Quincy rolled over on the hard floor and felt a lump in his throat. His sinuses were like an over packed can of sardines. He looked out the window and saw Roslyn’s Mom’s car with its trunk open. He was alone in the hotel room. His head was still a vault of ideas that had been collected in the lull of last evening.
He put on his coat, and decidedly marched over to Alice’s hotel door. He knocked on it, timidly at first. When he was ignored, though he heard movement from the other side, he knocked harder. “Alice, let me in.”
Alice opened the door and retreated back into the room. She sat on the bed and stared at him as he entered. He shut the heavy door behind him, and turned up the heat.
“Alright, let’s be clear on a few things, Alice.” Quincy’s voice sounded like a frog’s croak. He sniffled and sat down in front of Alice.
“You look…you sound awful. Did you sleep in the snow?” Alice asked, her hand reaching out to touch Quincy’s forehead. “Here, sit with me.”
“I wouldn’t mind, thank you.” He said, sitting beside her. She looked as timid and tiny as Little Miss Muffet surely did as the spider approached her. He smiled at the thought, and reached for her hand. “I’m here for you, and for the maniacal relationship we have started, Alice. I don’t care if you’re a bitch, or completely domineering, and perhaps just a little bit sadistic.”
Alice’s unkempt hair fell in front of her eyes, and Quincy tucked it behind her ears affectionately. “How can you love someone who is so cruel to you? I am never going to completely trust.”
“You will, I’ll leave no room for doubt.” Quincy sighed heavily. “I have never had one thing easy; everything I’ve ever done has been a struggle. Fact of the matter is, I’m alright with an uphill battle, because it makes the easy times that much sweeter. So give me hell, punch me daily, and spit in my face. Just be sure to throw in a few nice moments too, and I’ll be cool with everything else.”
Alice sat, silent. Her hand trembled in his, and she looked up into his eyes with certainty. She let out a small whimper which transformed into a little cackle. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were like saucers. She looked quite crazed as she lifted his face up with her free hand. He started to smile, and it was then that she slapped him for all he was worth.
“ACH!” He screamed, as he began to rub the spot where her palm had hit. “What the f—” Then her lips were on his.
He barely had time to draw breath between assaults and was soon thrust backwards onto the bed. His head landed on her pillows and between jabs to the ribs and tongue lashings his heart was swimming with emotions. Before long, their hotel room door opened, and William entered. Will’s eyes sprung wide, then, he turned on his heel like a military officer, walked out and slammed the door behind him. Alice withdrew from her realm of exhilaration.
Quincy stared up at her, her cheeks were still red, but her face was also a little sweaty at this point. She began to laugh, a healthy laugh though. He reached up and caressed her cheek. “There now…see? That’s kind of what I was going for.”
“We could have done that all last night if you’d only listened to me about that devil cursed car of yours.”
Quincy, certain that he should admit defeat in order to save his own behind, agreed. “You’re absolutely right. That car was a piece, and I will start to save for a new one immediately, my little cupcake.”
She slapped him affectionately on his face. “Good. Let’s get our stuff, we have to get back to town if we’re going to wrap presents before Christmas Eve dinner at my parents.”
Quincy was stunned. “Jesus, it is Christmas Eve isn’t it?”
“Has been for a few hours…I just hope I don’t catch whatever it is that you’ve got.”
“Ah this?” He drew his sleeve across his red nose. “Don’t worry about it, it’s probably just from lying in the snow for about an hour last night.”
“If I don’t punish you, you punish yourself I see?”
“Yeah.”
As they stood to leave, he drew her in for a final kiss before closing the door to the first hotel room they’d ‘shared’ together. Alice and Quincy walked hand in hand down to Roslyn’s mother’s car. William and Roslyn were waiting for them. Roslyn in front, Will in the back seat.
Alice took the seat next to William, and Quincy got to crunch himself into the back with all of the band equipment. “You two doing better then?” William asked in a whisper.
“We’re better than ever. Thanks for asking man.”
“If you’re better than ever, why did I see you crying a few minutes ago Quin? You didn’t look too happy in there.”
Quincy smiled knowingly at Alice, and inclined his head the most miniscule amount.
Alice slapped William square across the face and burst into laughter, pleasant laughter, as William eye’s nearly bulged out of his head.
Roslyn’s Mom spoke up. “She’s damaging your merchandise honey, best see to that one.”
Roslyn looked back into the car and stared Alice down. “Unless you plan on g