When Monica awoke the next morning, the absence of sunlight scurrying through the window left the room dark. Tapping on the window were small token raindrops. The tinkling was gentle at first, then became louder, the balls of water trying to smash the glass with their swift force, only to find the panes would not mellow.
"A beautiful day," said Monica. "I'll be able to sit here and count all the water spots on the panes."
"How are you doing this morning?" said the nurse walking into the room.
"I am feeling better," answered Monica, "than yesterday this time."
"Good! I have some breakfast for you which I hope you will like."
"Not that stuff in the bottle again," hoped Monica.
"Yep, I am afraid so," smiled the nurse.
Monica absorbed the food and then shut her eyes for several seconds, then opened them again. The rain had simmered down to a hushed sprinkle on the earth. Her eyelids felt heavy and she strained to keep them open, and within a few more minutes, with the coaching rain, she plunged into siesta land.
Her memory bank drifted back into time to reveal herself as a five year old. What a pretty party dress I have on, she thought. I really loved those pears on the front of that white dress and never would let anyone take the garment off me. That teddy bear in my arms was cuddly and I really loved him. Mrs. Shepard at the orphan's home bought him for me. She thought I would enjoy his company while I traveled around the acreage belonging to the Sardi Home for children without parents.
The Sardi Home for orphaned children had been started by a woman who also had been an orphan, but who became one of the finest models and clothes designer in the world.
Monica remembered meeting Mrs. Sardi, when she was six years old. There was Monica, posing in her white dress with the pears. The home was celebrating two birthdays that day, Monica's being one of them. She could see herself sitting at the table holding her brown bear, waiting for the candles to be placed into the white icing and lit. There comes Mrs. Shepard with the candles and matches. Mrs.
Shepard placed the pink candles one by one into the cake, fourteen in all. Billy, the other birthday person, was eight years old. The woman put six candles on one part of the cake and eight on the other.
Billy was asked to blow out his candles first and when he made his wish, then his big puff, he knocked out three of Monica's lights.
She could see herself telling Billy not to blow out her candles anymore. Mrs. Shepard struck another match and then held it near the wicks and the flames started once more. She then said to Monica, "Make a wish, sweetie, then blow out your candles."
Monica remembered her wish on that birthday as every birthday. She hoped for a nice family to adopt her. Monica would close her eyes tight and hope and hope, wish and wish, but wishing never did make her dream come true.
Mrs. Sardi put her arm around Monica and said, "I hope your wish comes true for the rest of your life." Monica could see herself being kissed on the cheek.
All the kids yelled after the candles were out, for a piece of cake. Some wanted the roses, others wanted the writing spelling out whose birthday it was, and others wanted the corner cuts. Mrs. Shepard tried to satisfy all the children and was helped in her task of distributing the cake by the older orphans.
Maryann gave Monica her piece of cake and handed her a white plastic fork. "Thank you, Maryann," Monica heard herself remark.
Maryann was fifteen years old, thin for her age, weighing in at 90 pounds. She was a blond haired girl with dainty features, and had blue eyes. Always helpful around the home, she never had to be asked to do any chores, because she wanted to help others. Maryann wanted to be a nurse when she became old enough to attend college. She certainly had enough practice at the Sardi Home because of all the bruised knees and elbows that showed up on just about every child living there.
Mrs. Shepard really enjoyed Maryann's company and knew she would miss the young lady when she was gone. Monica overheard Mrs. Shepard telling Maryann one day that she wished Maryann could stay at the home forever and work with her.
Monica then saw herself trying to give her teddy bear a bite of the cake on her fork. "Come on Fuddsy, take a bite. If you don't eat this, then you will have to go to bed early. Okay, if you don't want this, then I'll eat your piece."
"Maybe she is too tired to eat right now, Monica," said Maryann, "perhaps, later on she'll ask for some." Just then, Billy let his cake fall on the floor.
"Oh, Billy," said Patty, who was sitting next to him. "You dropped all the good cake on the pretty rug." Patty was also six years old and she and Monica always played together.
"That's okay, Billy," said Mrs. Sardi, "we'll just have to get you another piece of that good tasting desert."
"Don't give him the piece with the blue flower on it," said Charlotte, a black girl with pony tails hanging to her waist. "Why shouldn't we give him that piece, Charlotte?" asked Mrs. Sardi.
"Because that's the one I want for tomorrow when I go on my trip," answered Charlotte, the whites of her eyes glistening against her brown face.
"I didn't know you were going on a trip tomorrow," responded Mrs. Shepard. "Where are you going?"
"Me and Candy are supposed to go to California."
"Boy, that's a long way for a couple of seven year olds to go," laughed Mrs. Sardi. "You will probably need quite a bit of food for a trip like that. Do you have all your bags packed and ready to go?"
"We are going to pack them tomorrow," said Charlotte, her white teeth showing. "That's okay if you give Billy the piece of cake, we can take any kind with us."
"How are you going to get to California?" asked Mrs. Shepard. "Walk," replied Charlotte, expressionless. Mrs. Shepard turned around to laugh and saw Mark standing on his chair.
"Mark, please sit down?" she asked. "Okay," he answered and then promptly fell.
Mrs. Shepard rushed to his side and came upon the five year old who began to laugh. He was a little cuddly plump red-haired youngster who was continually falling from places, but usually never got hurt.
"Why do you scare me like that, Mark?" said Mrs. Shepard. "Are you hurt?"
"Nope," he smiled, picking himself up from the rose colored carpet. He rubbed his bum and then crawled back onto the chair, reached for his fork and began to fill his mouth.
"Okay, everyone, finish your cake and get ready for bed," said Mrs. Shepard.
"We aren't ready for bed, yet," came a chorus of young voices. "Oh yes you are," answered Mrs. Shepard.
"I almost forget about giving you and Billy your gifts," said Mrs. Sardi. She handed a red covered box to Billy and a yellow one to Monica. Billy pulled and tugged at the wrapping paper and ribbon and quickly the paper was in a crumpled heap.
"A ball glove!" Billy's eyelids raised as far as they would go. "Just what I've always wanted. Now we can play ball here all the time. Thank you very much, Mrs. Sardi." He rushed to her side and kissed her cheek.
"You are very welcome, Billy," she embraced him. "You have been a good boy and we figured we'd get you the gift that you could play with for years to come. I believe there is a ball in the box where you found your glove."
Billy ran to the box he had thrown aside after retrieving his glove and sure enough, he spotted a softball lying on the floor. "Look what I got for my birthday," said Monica, her eyes ablaze as Champagne bubbles. "This baby doll's name is Judy."
"Thank you, Mrs. Sardi," Monica said with a tear rolling down her right cheek. She too, walked over to Mrs. Sardi and planted a loud smack on her cheek.
"Boy, if I knew that I was going to receive all these kisses, I would have brought more gifts."
Monica recalled that Mrs. Sardi never left anyone out when it came to buying birthday gifts and having cake.
It was Mrs. Sardi's policy never to allow a birthday party or special event, like graduation from the home, to go unnoticed. She was a woman deeply committed to orphans and who experienced the orphanage life and vowed to start her own home, while she herself was confined to one.
Through her perseverance and dedication she was able to make her spot in the world and eventually married a wealthy man who shared her goals in life. It was through their combined efforts that the Sardi Home was created.
Monica's dream shifted to the swing set located beneath the huge pine trees on the fifty-acre estate. At first, she saw herself alone and then, Maryann was pushing behind her.
"Push me higher, Maryann?" she asked.
Maryann would wait until Monica's back was in position, then she would push forward, increasing the speed and height, which Monica could attain.
"Don't let go," said Maryann, "I don't want to see you fall on your head."
"You can quit now, Maryann, I am going high enough. Stand in front of me now and let me try and touch you with my feet."
"You just want to kick me in the backend, don't you?" laughed Maryann.
Monica knew that Maryann would always go along with her little game and after she tapped Maryann lightly on the bum a few times, Maryann would turn around and shake her fist at Monica.
"Stop that," she would yell. "Okay," Monica would reply.
Monica would smile whenever Maryann would look at her, then when she once again turned her back, along would come Monica and try to stretch her feet to kick Maryann in the butt.
The swing would slow after a time and Monica could see herself pleading with Maryann to push her high once more so that she had enough speed to play the backlash game.
On and up into the air whipped Monica and as the tempo grew, she saw herself fall from the swing. "Are you hurt?" Maryann said as she picked up Monica.
Monica was crying, not only in her dream but in the hospital bed. She was being hugged by Maryann and the weeping stopped.
"Let's go play in the sand box with all the toys there," said Maryann, taking Monica by the hand and leading her to the cylindrical box with the white granules strewn within the boundaries.
Monica would play for hours on end in the box of sand. She would make mounds and build tunnels beneath them. The yellow steam shovel would be used to pick up the sand and load the big red trucks for hauling the white stuff around the huge box area. Some kids have huge sand boxes, but no one boasted one larger than the ten by ten footer at Sardi.
"Would you get your bathing suit on and let me cover you in the sand?" asked Monica.
"Heck no," replied Maryann, "you think I'm going to let you cover my whole body never to be found again?"
"I wouldn't cover you up," said Monica tilting her head down, raising her eyes to the top of their sockets to look at Maryann.
"Yeah, I'll bet you wouldn't," said Maryann. "Alright, I'll go and get my suit on and be back in a few minutes so you can put all that nice white sand all over my body."
Maryann returned five minutes later, wearing a gold bathing suit and white bathing cap.
"Come on, Maryann," yelled Monica. She couldn't wait to begin dumping all the sand over the older girl's frame. "Lay down over here by my tunnel," said Monica, pointing to the most recent hole she had succeeded in building.
"Do you want me to lay on my back or on my stomach?" Maryann asked. "I don't care," smiled Monica.
"Good," said Maryann, "I'll just sit up then."
"No, you can't sit up," snapped Monica, "you have to lay down." Maryann knew she was in trouble and decided to lay down on her back.
Monica then proceeded to use the small red shovel to pick up the white abrasive and sprinkle it onto Maryann's legs. After she covered the lower extremities, she moved up onto the middle. She made the pile higher on the stomach, but when she began to cover that area, Monica would hold the shovel in the air and turn it over slowly, letting the sand bounce off Maryann.
"Do I get to cover you up after you finish with me?" asked Maryann. "No," said Monica, happy with her sprinkling job.
"I don't think that is fair, Monica."
Monica continued to pick up the sand and pour the covering on the body in the sandbox.
She was finished and only Maryann's head and neck were visible. "You look funny," said Monica looking down from her vantage point.
"Okay," said Maryann, "I'm going to get up now and have you put on your bathing suit so I can cover up your body."
"I don't have a bathing suit," Monica smiled.
"I'll let you use my nice bathing suit," said Maryann, "and you won't need to care about getting it dirty."
"It's too big for me," answered Monica.
"Well, we can wrap the thing around your body and then it wouldn't look too large," Maryann smiled. She reached for Monica. Monica ran.
The mental picture changed. She was skipping along the sidewalk and running to the back of the large house. When she reached the rear of the building, her feet left the white slab and landed on the brown dirt. Monica's legs wobbled and she shook her right arm trying to use it for leverage so she wouldn't fall. Her body hunched over and she pulled her bear to the bend of the stomach, the stumbling ceased.
Having stabilized her balance, Monica began her walk over the dirt-laden area. When she came to a water puddle, she sat down on a small boulder. Monica laid her teddy bear down on the ground beside her stool. She reached for the bow on her right tennis shoe and pulled. She repeated the procedure for her other shoe. After removing her green and white footwear, she placed them carefully beside her rock. The tugging on her socks took a while longer than she planned and she almost decided to keep them on her feet, but finally removed them.
She folded each of the coverings neatly and placed one into each shoe. Monica stood up and walked into the murky pool. She moved her right leg back and forth, causing ripples. The movement made the rainwater dance upon Monica's ankles. She looked into the dull mirror and saw a willowy shadow. The silhouette became obscure. Monica felt a coolness on her cheeks, then her mouth and nose, the chill turned to wetness.
She had fallen down into the pool and was drowning. "I must not drown!" she screamed.
"Help me to live, help me please!"
"You won't drown," came a voice, "I'm only wiping your face."
Monica opened her eyes. "Maggie, I am so glad you are here. I must have been dreaming for a long time."
"Don't worry, Monica, everything is going to be OK, and I think your fiancé was here to see you, but since you were resting, he left. He did say he would be back, though."
"Have you been in my room all the time, Maggie?"
"No," said Maggie, continuing to wipe Monica's cheeks, "only off and on to check you out."
"I was dreaming about being a kid in the orphanage where I grew up, Maggie. It seems so long ago that I was there, having loads of fun. Walking hopping, skipping, jumping....I did all those things and now I can't even do one of them."
Monica's eyes focused on the window. What would she do now if she couldn't hop, skip, jump, run or walk?