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seriously enough to make the changes as quickly as you need them to. In these cases, you will have to set some ground rules with built-in consequences. By laying down the line and saying don’t cross this line or I will have to take this particular action, you are giving fair warning in advance of the next time the person does something that is inappropriate. By setting the boundaries ahead of time, you don’t need to sit back and accept whatever is thrown at you. At the same time, you won’t shock the person with an explosion of anger. You can be in control of yourself and the situation. Let’s look at a fictional example (any similarities to actual events or people are only coincidental): Josh and Christina have been married for about two months now. Sometimes when Josh and Christina go over to the home of Josh’s parents, Josh’s mother makes cutting remarks about Christina. Josh and Christina are of course quite upset about this but they don’t want to seem over-reactive and make a big scene. They also don’t want to ruin Josh’s good relationship with his mother. Finally, they decide that they need to set some boundaries with Josh’s mother. Josh takes his mother out to lunch. At lunch he explains to his mother that he has noticed that sometimes she makes hurtful remarks about Christina. His mother starts to protest saying that she never meant to hurt anyone and maybe35
