I knew my experiment would work but I didn’t know it would work this well. I certainly did not think it would affect me so much. It was so bad that I had to leave Reana’s room abruptly last night. Any more of the drasted experiment and I would have broken down and begged. As it was, that experiment made for an uncomfortable night. I spent half of it tossing in bed. The other half was filled with erotic dreams featuring my best friend; although this part was not at all bad.
On the brighter side, I saw that the experiment worked on Reana. Even she cannot deny that she was affected last night.
And that sound … God!
While I cannot regret my actions since they brought me closer to my goal, I can admit that perhaps I took things just a bit too far. I just hope the suddenness of the change will not send Ree running scared. Even so, she may be feeling awkward this morning. With the way I’m feeling right now too, I might add to the awkwardness rather than help dispel it.
There is a knock. The door opens before I answer.
Reana glides in. ‘Hello!’
Why is she smiling?
She has on a dark trouser suit and a mauve coloured head-scarf with its ends thrown behind her shoulders.
‘High heels? You have a meeting?’
‘You know it! I need the confidence boost.’ Her smile widens and then she sobers. ‘Are you sick?’
‘No.’
Ree’s smile returns and she bounces—there’s no other word for it—to the bed. ‘Then why are you still in bed?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Aren’t you Mr. Sunshine this morning?’ She sits on the side of my bed, crossing one leg over the other.
The little movement draws my eyes. The sight of the legs causes a hitch in my breathing. Memories of those legs in a very recent dream fill me, bringing with them a longing. The direction of my thoughts embarrasses me. I lift my gaze and try to think of something else.
To my surprise, Ree moves close to me and puts her arms around my neck. She presses her head on top of mine briefly. I think she sniffs me, but I’m not sure. ‘Are you having a mood again?’
I shrug. ‘A little,’ I whisper back.
‘I’m sorry. You know the best thing you can do is to move around. Get up, okay? Take a shower. I’ll make you hot chocolate so you can feel better.’ She sounds slightly worried.
I feel guilty because I can’t tell her what really bothers me.
Reana shifts but I grab her arms before she can remove them. ‘You’re not angry?’
Her lovely face goes into a light frown. ‘Why would I be angry?’
‘Last night? I went a little overboard in my experiment.’
‘Oh.’ Ree pauses for a bit. ‘I don’t know if you went overboard but it’s not a big deal. The experiment worked and that’s good, right?’ Her eyebrows lift.
Really?
‘Yeah, but … you’re really not angry about it?’
‘Angry? M, I am thrilled. You don’t know how it feels to know there’s nothing wrong with my … engine.’
I guess she really isn’t angry. With this, I relax, but a different feeling is making itself known. I give a casual smile that gives away none of the struggle going on inside me. ‘Your engine, huh? How does it feel?’
She laughs, staring at the wall in front of us. ‘Feels really good. It felt good last night too. A little uncomfortable, though.’
Hm!
‘You’ll get used to it with practice.’
Reana pulls back with a grin. ‘I was thinking the same thing!'
The eagerness with which she says it makes me laugh. ‘Would you like to go right now?’
‘I have a meeting, remember? Plus, I figure I can practice on my own.’
‘Hm.’ Getting into the discussion, I lean my head sideways against hers. ‘You could. Or, you could cancel the meeting and we could … practice. Everything’s more fun with a partner.’
As if just realising the nature of the discussion, Ree pulls her head back and scrambles off the bed. ‘Gosh, look at the time. I have to go.’
‘Chicken.’
How disappointing!
She lifts her chin with her arms akimbo. ‘I’m not a chicken, M. I’m really running out of time.’
‘Uh-huh. What about my beverage?’
‘Get yourself together and come downstairs.’ In much the same way she came in, Reana glides out of my room and shuts the door.
About ten minutes after Ree leaves my room, I find her in the kitchen bending over the dustbin. Her jacket has shifted up, leaving the arousing sight of her trouser pulled taut over her butt.
My hand goes to my belly to settle the tumbling in it. For the second time this morning, I avert my gaze from Reana. Putting on a casual air, I step into the kitchen.
Reana straightens with a glance at me. ‘Feel better?’
‘That depends. I believe I have a hot beverage coming.’
‘Hang on.’ Without warning, Reana inserts her face into the crook of my neck and makes an inhaling sound.
My belly tightens. I take a breath to relax so I am able to sound casual. ‘Are you sniffing me again?’
Reana shrugs. ‘I like the way you smell.’
Hm. ‘I like the way you smell but you don’t see me sniffing you, do you?’
I watch a pleased surprise enter Reana’s eyes as her lips curve even more. ‘You do? It’s the flower-scented oils. What do I smell of in particular? I want to know which one of the scents stands out.’
Lulled by the unexpected surprise in Ree’s expression—I really should pay her more compliments—I say the first thing that pops into my mind. ‘Like I want to bury my nose in you and never come up for air.’
‘Oh, wow! That’s descriptive.’ Reana barks out a surprised, slightly embarrassed laugh.
Just then, I realise the double entendre. Hopefully, Reana has not thought of the second meaning because that would make things very awkward very quickly. ‘Still, I don’t sniff you.’
She tilts her head to the side, ‘do you hate it when I sniff you?’
‘No.’
‘Good, because I don’t intend to stop.’ She hands me a giant mug.
Burying a chuckle, I take a sip and sigh.
Reana watches me closely. ‘Good?’
I nod. ‘Thank you.’
‘My pleasure. Now that you’ve gotten rid of the mood, I have a question.’
‘Shoot.’ I answer absently, focusing on my drink.
‘Last night, what you said …’
Swallowing, I hold my breath and wait for her next words.
‘That was not the first time you imagined us together, was it?’
Once more, I wonder why I bother to keep anything from Reana. She always ends up finding out. I’m not even going to ask how she guessed it, though I still have to play dumb. Lifting my gaze, I find Reana’s eyes narrowed. The earlier smile is all gone now.
‘That’s a strange question, Reana. Why would you ask me that?’
‘Oh, dear.’ Seeing through my tactic, Reana shakes her head. She takes a seat. ‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
With a jerk of my shoulder, I sit opposite from Ree. In reality, I am tired of keeping this issue to myself. I just don’t know if I should tell her. To stall further, I try taking another sip but realise the mug is empty. Perfect.
‘M?’ Reana calls gently. ‘Darling, talk to me.’
Her patient tone gets to me in a way that a more aggressive one would not.
‘What do you want me to say, Ree?’
‘The truth.’
Suddenly, the words come tearing out. ‘The truth is … I’ve been thinking about you for the past couple of days … weeks. I dream about you—us—a lot.’
Ree gasps.
Still, I continue. ‘I want you. In bed … and other places. With me. I’ve imagined you without your clothes more times than I can count. And … okay, I think that’s it. Now, what? And no, I do not know why I feel this way when only a month ago, it would have disgusted me to think of you like this. And no, I do not understand these feelings. I’m sorry if it offends you, Reana, but this is not easy for me, either. I am trying to handle it as best as I can.’
Reana stays silent all through my tirade. When I wind down, she stays silent for a moment longer.
‘I’m sorry,’ I add. ‘You asked.’
‘I hate being manipulated.’
When I open my mouth to speak, she raises a finger. ‘I know you were not trying to manipulate me, but it felt that way when I first figured it out myself.’
‘I thought, why would M create this elaborate plan just to get me into bed with him?’
Again, she stops me from speaking as I open my mouth. ‘I know it’s not in your character to be sneaky and that’s the reason I’m here, talking to you about this.’ Reana hesitates for another moment. ‘If we’re going to go ahead with this marriage, M, keeping things from each other is not an option.’ She pauses, peers closely into my eyes. ‘Do you understand me?’
I nod. I understand that she is referring to more than this one issue, but we’ll deal with only this one today. ‘You are right, Ree, I apologize. Look, you were right the other day. When I learnt about your womanly … monthly … thing, something shifted for me. I admit it. I suddenly realised you were a woman where before, I didn’t think of you as one. Slowly, I started noticing things about you that I had never noticed before. The thoughts troubled me, but the more I fought them, ignored them, the more aggressively they came. It all felt wrong. I felt wrong, Ree. How could I speak of these things to you?
‘I have been thinking about adopting a child or getting a surrogate before I met Lola. It became my contingency plan in case Lola and I ended up not working out. You know how that turned out. When we talked about your relationship situation, it occurred to me that we might do it together. Then I thought about it some more and realized it would be simpler if we could conceive a child instead. This was not something I planned from the start, Ree.
‘I admit that because of how I’m beginning to feel about you, maybe something in me hopes we might become … closer along the way. Perhaps; but I swear to you, that was not in any way, the plan.’
Ree nods, ‘very well. I know it can’t have been easy for you.’ Reana picks through her words as if she is struggling to put her thoughts in order. ‘I understand how one thing can lead to another unexpectedly. I understand that if something caused you to see me a certain way, the feeling could progress into more. It would be unfair of me to blame you for all that. After all this time, you should know that about me and you should trust me. You could have talked to me about it, M. We could have figured it out together.’
When she gets hurt—not angry, but hurt—Reana has a way with rebuke. It always hits the target, which is always the heart.
Letting my regret show in my eyes, I touch her hand. ‘I know. I am sorry, Ree.’
She nods.
In silence, we watch each other for a long moment. The moment is quite calm and calming. It has a solemnity in addition to something else that I can’t quite read.
With a loud sigh, Reana rises. The moment is over. ‘I have to go now: work, meeting.’
‘Right.’
She takes a few steps towards the door and then turns to face me with a light smirk. ‘Last night, I had a dream, the wet kind: clearly the result of your experiment.’
My belly churns, but a raised eyebrow is my only outward reaction.
‘You were there.’
Oh, dear God!
‘Is that so?’ I give a little smile.
Reana gives a soft smile. ‘I don’t know how to think or feel about it. I choose to enjoy the feeling. You might try that.’
‘I could,’ I release a sigh. ‘If I did, I might end up pushing certain … boundaries between us. Can you handle that?’
She gives a sassy grin, her dimples wink. ‘I can handle you, big boy. You do what you have to do. See ya.’
***
As it is time for my lunch break, I put my desktop to sleep. I hang my jacket on the back of the chair and roll my sleeves up to my elbows. When I get downstairs to the kitchen, I find the place silent, empty.
Reana must still be working or having a meeting. Maybe she’ll want to have lunch if she gets the time or maybe not.
Either way, I’m too hungry to wait for her. After washing my hands, I open the fridge and scan the contents briefly. Deciding, I pull out the makings of a sandwich. With exquisite care, I make two fig-jam sandwiches. I cut the slices diagonally the way I like and clean the knife. Opening the fridge, I return the rest of the bread and pull out a carafe of homemade grape juice. I pour some in a tall glass, which I place right beside my plate on the table mat.
Bursting with anticipation, I replace the juice in the fridge. When I turn around, Reana is in the kitchen.
She looks slightly shorter than she did in the morning. Her heels are off, which must be why I did not hear her footsteps entering the kitchen.
‘Hey.’ I halt, smiling.
‘Hey,’ Ree replies in a tired voice. Her eyes latch onto my food and widen. ‘Nice! Is that for me? Without waiting for me to answer, she changes direction and plops her butt on my space.
‘Ree, that’s-’
Reana takes a large gulp of my juice. ‘Hm?’ With an innocent look in my direction, she takes a huge bite out of one sandwich.
I release a heavy sigh. With all the care I put into preparing it, I had been looking forward to that food. Turning around, I open the fridge and begin the process all over again.
‘Thank you, my darling. It’s as if you knew how much I needed this. Such a wonderful surprise!’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘So nice of you. It tastes great too.’
‘I’m sure it does.’
‘Are you okay?’ She takes another large gulp of juice. ‘You sound a bit strange.’
‘I’m good.’ Washing the knife, I clear my throat. Finishing, I pull out another table mat and set up a new place. By the time I sit down opposite Reana, the contents of her plate are depleted.
Reana seldom rushes her food.
‘Is everything alright?’ I ask, frowning with concern.
‘Now, it is. Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘So, you know that meeting I had, with this new client that I was trying to close?’
‘Uh-huh.’
Reana nods, takes a smaller sip. ‘He didn’t want to talk about his custom software. Not at all.’ She waves a finger to demonstrate her point.
I welcome the surge of anger as I just know what’s coming.
‘This client contacted me originally, because he thought it might be nice to proposition me during what was supposed to be a work meeting.’
I take a sip. ‘He propositioned you?’
‘Can you believe that? The nerve,’ Reana scoffs.
‘What’s his name?’
Ree peers at me as if she’s just seeing me for the first time. ‘You sound very cold all of a sudden. That’s quite strange.’
I shrug.
‘Why do you want his name anyway? You want to send your boys to teach him a lesson?’ Ree gives a light laugh.
‘I could, if you want.’
She laughs again. ‘Okay, Mr Mafia. There’s no need for that. Honestly, if he hadn’t wasted my precious time and crushed my hope on getting this deal, it might be slightly flattering.’
‘Flattering?’ It is getting harder to keep my voice even.
‘Yeah. Anyway, he’s an idiot but only a harmless idiot.’
‘What did you say?’
‘I told him that I don’t do stuff like that and that I knew he wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, but that was the affect.’
I nod firmly. ‘Damn straight.’
Reana smiles. ‘Also, I told him that I was engaged to be married. I think this was what cinched it for him because he apologized after.’
‘Very good.’ I nod and take a bite of my sandwich. My appetite, briefly gone, has reappeared with a vengeance.
Ree sighs again. ‘I was so close. The money I would have gotten from this contract was going to complete my car funds. I had been dreaming of this car since I got the email from this fool.’ Idly, she moves her nearly-empty glass round and round on the table mat, creating an ever-widening wet spot.
Knowing what her response will be, I make the offer. ‘You know you are welcome to any of the cars in my garage, right?’
The moving glass stops. Reana looks up. ‘We’ve had this talk, Misbah. I’m not taking your car.’
‘You’re not taking it. I’m giving it to you.’
‘No. Thanks, but no thanks.’ She softens the refusal with a smile.
‘Let’s do this instead. You tell me how much is left to complete the car funds, and I-’
‘No!’
I am getting a little frustrated here. ‘You have nothing to prove to me, Ree.’
For an instance, her eyes soften. ‘I know. I know. Maybe I have to prove it to myself.’
I get that. With a nod, I let it go. ‘If you ever change your mind …’
‘I know. Thank you. So, we need to think about the details of the wedding. Such as when do we want the wedding to be? Do you have any thoughts?’
‘I want it yesterday, or as soon as you agree to a natural conception.’
‘You mean you want us to get married as soon as possible because you can’t wait to sleep with me.’
‘What? No, that’s -’ I halt when I catch the teasing smirk in her eyes. Unable to suppress a smile, I shake my head. ‘That is an inappropriate joke, Ree.’
‘Oh boo!’ Reana makes a gesture. ‘Is it more inappropriate than us planning to get married and debating how we want to have our baby?’
Can’t argue with that.
‘Cheeky.’
Reana smiles. ‘As for the conception, I’m no longer saying no outright, but we’ll take it at my pace. That’s the best I can promise right now. In any case, I have a year to get more used to the idea. Hey, are you sure you don’t want to wait till-’
‘No.’ I interrupt, anticipating her. ‘We’ll wed now, and have the baby in a year. That’s what we agreed to.’
‘Why does the timing matter? It’s all the same if we wed after a year, isn’t it?’
‘I have my reasons.’
Ree gives a light scoff. ‘I know how you think, Misbah. You can’t tie me down with marriage, I hope you know.’
‘Who said I wa-?’
‘Just saying. You can pick a date that suits you and work out the details with the court. Small or large ceremony?’
I give a casual shrug. ‘I leave the size of the ceremony to you. When should we go shopping for rings and outfits?’
‘There’s no need to go shopping. We’ll wear whatever we’ve got. We don’t need rings.’
‘Isn’t this a female thing? Aren’t you supposed to be excited about shopping for wedding stuff?’
Reana shrugs. ‘It’s not a real thing anyway.’
It’s not a real thing?
Ignoring the discomfort Ree’s statement brings, I shift my thoughts to the topic at hand. ‘Are we telling anyone about our engagement?’
Reana frowns a bit. ‘I don’t know yet. I thought I might call my dad and let him know.’ She says this with little enthusiasm. ‘We could tell Omar and Yesmin as well but we’ll wait till tomorrow for all that. As for the ceremony, we can have the official joining and a luncheon with just our families, maybe a friend or two. Done!’
‘I guess I should be happy you did not choose to hide it from everyone.’
‘I thought about that.’ Reana shrugs at the look I send her way. ‘I’m not going to lie. But I thought … you know …’ She gives another shrug followed by a headshake. ‘I figured, what’s the big deal? Whatever the circumstances, it is a marriage. Which brings me to this - your lunch break isn’t over yet, is it?’
‘I’m good.’
‘Good. I was thinking you might want to talk to your lawyer.’
She sounds flippant, but I’ve learnt to read between the lines when Ree speaks. I can tell this one is important. ‘About what?’
‘We need a prenuptial agreement.’
I let out a surprised laugh.
After a beat, Reana laughs. ‘You called me broke in your head, didn’t you? Don’t be mean, Misbah.’
‘I am trying my best not to be.’
She rolls her eyes. ‘The pre-nup is for you.’
Ignoring the irritation that springs up at Reana’s suggestion, I get up and pour us each a fresh glass of juice. The action calms me before I respond. ‘I get why you’re saying it, Reana, so I won’t get angry.’
‘Oh, stuff it. You know I’m being pragmatic. What happens when each of us meets someone else and we still need to co-parent? What if for whatever reason, the baby thing doesn’t happen and we need to end it? Or if after we do have the baby, one of us just decides it isn’t working anymore and wants to leave. What if-’
‘Like I said, I get it. But, what if I don’t leave, no matter what? What if you try to leave for some other dude, and I lock you up indoors somewhere? After I bash his head in, of course.’
Reana’s laughter is loud. ‘Are you high? I’m being serious here.’
So am I.
I empty my glass in one long swallow. ‘We’re not seeing any lawyer, Reana, and we’re not getting a pre-nup.’
‘Misbah.’
‘Reana,’ I reach across the table to hold one of her hands. Our gazes clash. ‘One of the reasons I wanted this with you is that I know you. I know your heart. In spite of a huge amount of hurt, you have not become a monster.’
Her eyes soften. ‘Of course not. I just thought-.’
‘And you hate my money. That’s more than enough for me.’
After a short silence, Reana gives a short nod. She empties her glass, muttering, ‘I don’t hate your money.’
‘Uh-huh.’
We take our dishes to the sink.
‘I’ll deal with it,’ I tell Reana when she moves to turn on the water tap.
‘Thanks. And thanks for lunch; I know I ate yours.’
I knew it!
I send her a glance.
Wearing a sly grin, Ree runs out of the kitchen.