Jared sighed and looked into her eyes. “Yes, I meant it. We don’t know each other well, but what I feel is real, and the diary has nothing to do with it. I love you, Sara.”
She closed her eyes, tears tangled in her dark lashes. She couldn’t find her voice. She was so confused. A part of her danced to his words, but another part, the child in her, shivered. She didn’t want him to see how frightened his expression had made her. There was no anger or hesitation in his eyes. There was something else, something strong, and needy.
Sara opened her mouth to speak. He kissed her, his lips were hungry and demanding, capturing her mewling whispers in his mouth. Her lips melted beneath his. Every fiber in her quaked; she wanted him. She was running on instinct, treading on unfamiliar ground.
His mouth pressed harder against hers, molding to the shape of her lips. His breathing became ragged. She was ready to surrender, when he pressed his forehead to hers. He repeated his words from yesterday. “You’re dangerous, Sara!” He leaned away from her.
She pulled him back and softly kissed him. “That’s not bad, is it?”
He crushed his lips to hers, growing uncomfortably hard. “Yes, it’s bad,” he groaned and pulled away. “I won’t take advantage of you or of the situation. You’re hurt. Your emotions are raw, and you’re vulnerable. You don’t know what you’re doing, and I’m being a selfish heel. I’m not old-fashioned, but I don’t believe in taking advantage of someone as young as you. I will not take your innocence, Sara, not like this.”
Jared leaned his back against the car and fought for control.
She stared at the ground and swallowed the lump in her throat. “What are you talking about?” If he’d been forcing himself on her, she could’ve understood, but he wasn’t. She was pushing him. How did he know she was innocent? She’d had boyfriends before. For all he knew, he might not be the first man to take her this far.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned again. “I could lose control with you, so easily. Give in to the way I feel about you, the way I want you. It’s too dangerous, especially after seeing you,” he glanced at her, grimaced and looked away. “Like this,” he sighed.
Sara frowned. “You want me, but you won’t take me?”
He knelt in front of her and took her hands. “That’s not what I said. I will take you, just not here, and not under these circumstances. If I made love to you, I’d have to restrain myself. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He stared into her confused eyes. “When we make love, I don’t want restraints or regrets between us.” He sighed; one corner of his mouth turned up. “Besides, we might get caught.”
She glanced at the forest; her eyes sparkled with mischief. She wasn’t giving up so easily. “What if I offered myself to you?” She paused and swallowed hard. Despite her pain, she was willing. “Would you take me then?”
Jared’s face tightened. “Don’t ever do that! Don’t ask me. Don’t tempt me. Never make me choose! Promise me, Sara. Promise you’ll never do that to me.”
She stared at him. Don’t offer myself and don’t ask? Why? We’re consenting adults!
His expression softened. “Promise me, Sara,” he whispered.
What could she say? She swallowed hard again. “No promises, but I’ll try,” she said in a voice that was barely perceptible and kissed him again.
He grinned, a devilish gleam lit his dark eyes. “I guess I’ll just have to convince you.” He left a trail of kisses from the left side of her throat to behind her ear. He gently breathed in it. Sara shivered; her womb clenched. “You see, I can do this and stay in control.” He pulled her tighter against his body. “The question is… can you?”
Her heart pounded. She fought for breath. “You’re not playing fair.”
He looked into her eyes and softly smiled. “And you haven’t answered me.”
“Yes, I have!” she gasped. “I said I’d try.”
Jared gently bit her neck over her pulse. “How hard… are you gonna try?”
She could feel the bite of his sharp teeth, pressing into her skin. It should’ve hurt, but it was incredibly sensual. Her breath caught, her stomach tingled, her body wept for him. She wanted him to stop, but she didn’t. “Very hard!” she blurted.
“Good,” he smiled, satisfyingly. “I’ll stop teasing you then.” He swiped his phone. “I’m calling Luce.”
Sara’s eyes widened. “What? No! Don’t! She’ll call my mother! Jared, please, don’t!”
The phone rang once; he ended the call. “Sooner or later you’ll have to talk to your mother, angel.” He eased her legs around in the seat. He reached across and buckled her seatbelt. “Since it’ll be late when we get back, you can spend the night at my place, but I have to call Lucy and let her know. She’s worried sick.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers.
She exhaled and nodded. He’d teased her. He’d set her body on fire, and he was going to leave her this way? For Jared, the matter was closed. For her, it was anything but. She searched for a distraction, something to cool her burning desire. “Do you mind if we listen to some music?”
“Sara, we’re in a band,” he smirked. “We have our own recording studio. Why would I mind?” He chuckled. “What did you wanna listen to?”
“Something old and bouncy.” He was right. It had been a stupid question, but she needed to keep her mind occupied and off of him.
His eyebrows shot up. “Old and bouncy?” He pulled onto the shoulder and loaded his DVD player. ‘Pretty Woman’ by Roy Orbison blared through his stereo system. He looked at her, smiled and sang to her.
Her cheeks warmed.
Jared whirled his BMW in a swift handbrake turn and peeled down the highway, hitting ninety in seconds. The ride was as if they weren’t moving, but the trees became a green blur.
“What about my car?” Sara asked with wide eyes.
“I called someone,” he snorted. “It’s been taken to Wisteria Hall. Chances are it’s there already.” He leaned across and softly kissed her. “Sit back and enjoy the ride. I’ll take care of you now.”
Drive me insane is what you’ll do! She had to do something, anything to get her mind off his incredibly sexy body inches from hers. “Can I sleep?”
He frowned. “Are you still sleepy?”
“Yes.” Oh, God! His voice is as sweet as honey, and it’s burning me up.
Jared studied her eyes. “I hoped it would pass. Alright,” he sighed. “But get some more of this down.” He handed her a second bottle of water. “Drink it slowly this time.”
She didn’t argue. She quickly downed a third of the water. He held his hand over the bottle. “Slowly, you’ll give yourself a brain freeze. Maybe we should stop by the emergency room.”
“I don’t wanna go to the hospital. I’m fine, Jared. Can’t you take care of me at home? Oh! I, um, I meant your place.” It surprised her how casually the word home had rolled off her tongue.
“It is your home, Sara,” he smiled. “Whenever you’re ready for it to be.” He paused and sighed, deep in thought. “I guess you can sleep, but if you get a headache or start feeling dizzy, you’re going straight to the emergency room, no questions asked.” He glanced at her sidelong. “Understood?”
“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” she said, sincerely. No more being noble. She couldn’t give him up, not after he’d said he loved her. I’m sorry, Donna. If this is a mistake, I’ll suffer the consequences, even if the price is my soul. “Can I go to sleep now?”
“If you need to, but I might rouse you a time or two, to make sure you’re OK.”
Sara yawned. “If you talk to me, maybe I won’t fall asleep.”
“What do you wanna talk about?”
“Steve must’ve told you what we talked about, but when I left his house, I hadn’t decided where I was going or what I was gonna do. How did you know where to find me?”
Jared frowned slightly. “Would you believe me if I said I asked my Spirit Guide?”
Sara blinked rapidly and fought sleep. “I might if I knew what it was. Is it like a guardian angel?”
“Well, yes and no,” he softly smiled. “Everyone has a Spirit Guide. They’re not for our people alone. You see, before we choose to be reincarnated, we’d already chosen our Spirit Guides in the afterlife. We all have a special one, who’s been with us since birth. Through prayer and meditation, we ask them questions about things in our lives. If it’s in our best interest, he or she will answer and guide us.”
He paused and swallowed hard. “After I talked to Steve, I tried reaching you on your phone. When you didn’t answer, I went to my secret place. I explained how much you meant to me, and asked my guide to show me where you were. I got into my car and drove in whatever direction I felt impelled to go. All I could think about was getting to you, and what I’d do if I didn’t make it in time.”
Sara’s eyes lit. “If everyone has a Spirit Guide, does that include me? How do I communicate with it – him – her?”
“You may already be in contact with them, on a subconscious level. Have you ever felt there was something you had to do, but you didn’t understand why?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “When I decided to leave Crooked Creek. I didn’t know why, I just knew it was the right thing for me to do. I tried to explain it to my mother, but she didn’t understand. I guess I didn’t either. I just knew it was something I had to do.”
Jared smiled and kissed the back of her hand. “I’m glad you listened. I might not have found you.”
“Was my guide, responsible for me leaving Crooked Creek?”
“Probably, but I can’t say for sure.”
“Can I see my Spirit Guide?”
“Maybe, if you were taught in our ways.”
Sara’s attention piqued. “Would you teach me?”
“I could, but my grandfather would be a better teacher.”
“It would mean more to me if you did it. Please.”
He kissed the back of her hand again. “If you end up with Garfield as your Spirit Guide, don’t blame me.” He chuckled. “Can I take this out for a minute? There’s something I want you to listen to.”
“Course you can. It’s your stereo, silly.”
He smirked and changed the DVD. Sara’s song began playing. She frowned and arched an eyebrow. “I made it the other night while we were alone,” he said.
Her eyes twinkled. “How did you make it sound so good - Auto-Tune?”
“I didn’t use any special effects, Sara. All I did was twin your voice in a couple of places. It’s just you and me, my piano, and the background track I used. You have a beautiful voice. I didn’t need to do anything to it. I wanna give a copy of it to the local radio stations, and get them to play it over the airways – with your permission, of course.”
“Do you honestly think it’s good?”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t. Neither would I have recorded you. You wouldn’t believe how many people I turn down, every day, who wanna be part of Raging Storm.”
Yes, I would, especially the women. She felt drowsy again. Jared’s voice was hypnotic. She blinked a couple more times, but she knew it wouldn’t last. “I trust you. Do whatever you want with the recording.”
He smiled and kissed her hand again. “I also wanna set up some bookings. Get you out front. When you’re well enough, I want you to feature for Raging Storm.”
Her eyes slowly closed again. She jerked and blinked. “Me? Out front!” She blinked and finished her feeble objection. “What about my stage fright?”
“A few more sessions in the studio and it won’t be a problem. Besides, I won’t make you do it alone, Sara. I’ll be with you. We’ll work on it together. If you want a music career, I’ll get you over your stage fright. Sara? Sara, are you awake?” He softly laughed. “Just rest, angel, I’ll sing you to sleep.” His last words were so far away, she barely heard them.
~ ~ ~
Jared carried her to his bedroom, gently laid her on the bed and undressed her. She opened her eyes, but they slowly closed again. She couldn’t keep them open. She felt a warm cloth, being rubbed over her body as he cleaned the mud and the blood from her skin. After he’d toweled her off, he called Lucy.
Sara vaguely heard him explain what had happened. Lucy was upset and wanted to come over, but he told her she was sleeping. She heard him lay his phone on the nightstand. He knelt over her. His lips touched her forehead. “Goodnight, angel,” he whispered and turned.
She grabbed his hand and opened her bleary eyes. “Stay with me.”
“Alright, but I won’t sleep with you.” He kicked off his cowboy boots, dropped his belt on the floor and lay on top of the covers. He snuggled close to her; Sara laid her head on his shoulder. She felt safe and warm. Jared caressed her face and smiled. “I gave you something for the pain. I want you to sleep now.” He kissed her.
She looked deeply into his eyes. “Sleep is not what I want.”
“I know it’s not,” he groaned, “but it’s all you’re gonna get.” He started singing to her again.
“That’s not fair,” she muttered.
He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I know,” he whispered and kept singing.
~ ~ ~
Sara woke sometime during the night, disoriented. Her right forearm ached. She winced and looked up at the clear bag hanging above her head. She sighed deeply and looked at Jared, peacefully sleeping next to her. His chest rose and fell with his gentle breathing. Despite how much she hated needles, she never wanted to move. She touched his face and he woke with a start.
“What’s wrong, Sara? Did I hurt you? Do you want me to move?”
“No, you didn’t hurt me, and I most certainly do not want you to move, ever.” She leaned up and kissed him.
He responded to her kiss. “You’re not trying very hard,” he said and covered her mouth with his. “I want you, Sara,” he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. He kissed her over and over, each kiss deeper and more intense than the last. She felt his body responding, growing hard again. “Sara, stop me,” he moaned.
“No,” she breathed. “I want this.”
“You promised me,” he huffed. “Please, don’t let me do this,” he said, but he didn’t stop kissing her, and he didn’t pull away. His willpower was gone. He was depending on her, to save him, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to stop. He slid his hand under the covers. “You promised,” he whispered.
His words stabbed her like daggers. The promise! Oh, God! Help me! She drew a shaky breath. “Jared, stop! You have to stop!” Her voice was weak and unconvincing.
He cupped her breast in his palm. “I don’t wanna stop.” His lips claimed hers again.
For Sara, the moment of decision was at hand. Her longing was so strong. The line between what she’d promised to do and what she wanted to do was dangerously thin. For pounding heartbeats, she surrendered, totally lost in her desire. She weakly pushed his hands from her aching body. “You have to!” she panted. “You made me promise. I want you to stop Jared, please.”
One more searing kiss and she was done. She’d used her last bit of willpower to stop what she so badly wanted. Wrong or right, she didn’t care anymore. She could taste his desire for her, cool and sweet, warm and bitter, on the tip of her tongue. If he persisted, she couldn’t resist him. She wouldn’t! The next move would be his. She’d run out of strength.
Jared looked deeply and longingly into her eyes. “Now I know you’re not doing this because you feel obligated by what’s in my diary. You’re doing this because it’s what you want. ” He kissed her thoroughly again.
Sara frowned. “You told me to stop you. I have. What are you doing? I don’t understand.”
Jared softly smiled. “I told you not to make me choose. I asked you not to offer yourself to me. I never said I didn’t wanna make love to you. I asked you not to offer yourself, and you didn’t. The choice is no longer mine to make. It’s your choice now.”
The creases in her brow deepened. Why do you keep talking in riddles? She sighed, closed her eyes and surrendered to his kiss.