Jared came back to the bedroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist and one around his neck. Sara whined like a puppy and strongly considered stealing the one around his waist. He sat on the side of the bed next to her, smiled and dried his hair.
Sara grinned. “Want me to do that for you?”
“No!” he answered quickly. “My self-control’s shot. I don’t need motivation.” He reached for a pair of briefs. “Now, are you gonna turn around like a good girl or do I get dressed in the bathroom?”
She groaned and rolled away from him. “Get dressed,” she sighed.
“How do I know you won’t roll over?”
“You don’t. I guess it’s a chance you’ll have to take. Either you trust me or you don’t.” She heard his belt buckle rattle and then a zip.
“Alright. I’m decent. Do you want me to help you downstairs or have dinner up here?”
“Downstairs, please. I’d like to lie on the couch, in your arms, and watch a movie or something. You promised to watch ‘Twilight’ with me.”
Jared scooped her up like a rag doll.
“Um,” she cleared her throat. “Don’t you think I should change first?”
He set her back on the bed. “I like you this way, but it might make Gerald uncomfortable. What do you wanna wear?”
“If you put my suitcase on the bed, I can manage, thank you.”
Jared folded his arms across his chest, stood back and smirked.
“Ha! What do you think this is? A free show?” She narrowed her eyes and whirled a finger. “Around you go. You wouldn’t let me watch.”
“I’ve seen you naked, Sara.”
She shivered. “Don’t remind me. Just turn yourself around. What’s good for the goose,” her voice trailed off.
Jared groaned low in his throat, turned while she dressed and carried her downstairs to the den.
“When you said you’d help me, I didn’t know you meant this.”
He kissed her several times. “Are you complaining?”
“Not at all. I love being swept off my feet.”
He smiled, lowered her to the sofa, put on ‘Twilight’ and tossed her the remote. “I’ll see what’s lined up for dinner.”
~ ~ ~
Minutes later, he came back and put an arm around Sara’s shoulders. “Cassie said it would be about 45 minutes. I told her we’d eat in here.” She laid her head on his shoulder. Jared rested his head on top of hers. “You’re destroying my reputation at the clinic,” he breathed through her hair.
“How?”
“I’m a workaholic. You know, first there, last to leave. Today, after I saw my last patient, I headed for the door. I couldn’t wait to get home to you.” He kissed the top of her head.
She looked up at him. “Should I apologize?”
“No! Terry Downing, my partner, said he liked me better this way.”
“I’ll take you any way I can get you,” she sighed.
“Same here,” he groaned and kissed her temple. “I’ll take you to the clinic sometime and introduce you to everyone.”
“I’ll look forward to that,” she smiled.
They settled down to watch the movie. “How many times have you seen this?”
Jared sighed. “A few, but I’ll still watch it with you. I think I should warn you of something, though.”
Sara stared up into his eyes. “What?”
He growled low in his throat and snapped his teeth. “This movie brings out the animal in me. Up until now, when I watched it, I was alone. Now, I’ve got something fresh to sink my teeth into.” He put his mouth close to the side of her throat and pretended to bite her.
She got a strange feeling from the hungry look in his eyes. She giggled when he kissed and nuzzled her instead. “Sometimes I wish the whole immortality thing was real. There’s one difference between me and Edward, though.”
“What’s that?”
“If I could give it to you, I would. It wouldn’t take long for me to make up my mind either.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” Jared kissed her thoroughly and wrapped his arms around her. The movie started. Sara snuggled against his shoulder again.
~ ~ ~
Halfway through the movie, the cook brought their meal. He paused the DVD while they ate.
“I don’t remember the scene at the plant or the one with the boat.”
“It’s not part of the original story. You haven’t missed anything,” he snorted. “Producers do that to add a little action to the film version. Sometimes it’s good, others, it only confuses people if they see the movie before reading the book.”
Sara tasted her food. “What is this?”
Jared shrugged and smirked. “Chicken?”
“Really? You think?”
“Honestly, angel, Cassie plans the menus. I let her know if she cooks something I don’t like or that doesn’t agree with me. Why? Don’t you like it?”
“It’s delicious,” she smiled. “I just wondered what it was. If I have to compete with her, I’ve already lost. I’m not a good cook. I haven’t spent much time trying to learn. I never thought I’d find someone I needed to take care of.”
“Angel, we have a cook,” he smiled. “You don’t need to worry about meals. Cassie enjoys her work, but if you wanna experiment, I’d be happy to give you my honest opinion.”
“Do you have plenty of Pepto-Bismol in the medicine cabinet?”
Jared laughed. “Sara, I’ll eat pretty much anything, so don’t worry.” He caressed her cheek.
She smiled and reached for their empty dishes. He laid a hand on hers. “Gerald will clear them away later.” He kissed her hand and pulled her into his arms. “Let’s watch the rest of the movie unless you’re tired.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “No, I’m not tired.”
~ ~ ~
They’d planned to finish the movie, but before it ended, they’d both fallen asleep. The menu music came on. Sara jerked awake. Jared didn’t. He must’ve been dreadfully tired. She leaned up and watched him sleep for a while. She would have happily slept in his arms until morning.
Minutes later, he roused and smiled. He smoothed her hair behind her ears and kissed the left side of her neck. Her body tingled from one end to the other. He covered her mouth; his kiss was hot, moist and filled with promise.
He eased her back onto the sofa and lay on top of her, molding his body to hers. Sara felt his arousal, pressed into her stomach. He deepened the kiss, slid a hand under her shirt and pushed her bra out of the way. Her heart began to pound. Her pulse throbbed in her ears. She fought to control her breathing.
Jared groaned and lowered his head. Closing his mouth around one of her nipples, he licked and teased it with his teeth. She moaned, wrapped a leg around his and raked her nails down his back. His entire body shook. “Too far - won’t be able to stop,” he breathed and lifted his head to kiss her again. “Stop me, Sara. If you don’t, I’m gonna make love to you right here on this couch.”
“Then do it,” she whispered. She was ready to take their relationship to the next level. “Please, make love to me.”
“I can’t,” he groaned, hoping she would rescue him, but she wasn’t going to. If they stopped this time, it would be his decision.
“Why?”
“Angel, what we have is special. I want it to stay that way.”
“It is special, Jared. If we made love, it would be even more special. It won’t change anything. I’ll still love you as much and more. Don’t you wanna make love to me?”
Jared groaned again. “More than I want my next breath, but I won’t do it.” He sat up, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply to control his emotions.
Damn, he’s good at that! Sara certainly wasn’t. If she’d thought it would’ve accomplished anything, she would’ve begged on hands and knees, but it wouldn’t. Once he’d pulled away, he’d regained his control. She took comfort in knowing they’d gone further this time than they ever had before. She didn’t think he could hold out much longer. Am I being selfish? Does wanting him the way I do make it wrong?
He understood what she wanted from him. Because of what he knew, he would do anything to make sure she didn’t get it, not now, anyway. He kept pushing her so close to the edge, by the time he’d made love to her, she would die of sheer ecstasy. She was beginning to feel like an emotional yo-yo.
~ ~ ~
When bedtime came, he’d carried her upstairs, but when he’d held her it hadn’t felt the same. His body was tensed, and he seemed distant. When they got to the bedroom, he laid her on the bed and gathered his bedclothes.
“You’re having another shower?” she prompted and tried to sound noncommittal.
“No, I’m going to bed.”
Sara pressed her lips into a thin line and swallowed hard. “You’re not sleeping in here with me?”
“Not tonight,” he said coldly, not with anger, but with authority. There would be no debating the issue.
“Oh,” she said and fought to keep a steady voice. She didn’t want him to see how hurt she was. She didn’t need to say anything. The look and frown on her face should’ve been enough, but had Jared remained stalwart. Sara watched him leave. “Can I have a kiss?” she called out.
He drew in a slow breath and turned. “Can you behave?”
She nodded and tilted her head back; prepared to give him a kiss that was bound to change his mind. He sighed, kissed her forehead, her cheek, and finally the side of her neck, but he didn’t kiss her lips. “Goodnight, angel,” he whispered.
She willed him to turn around, but he didn’t. Her eyes glossed. She kept waiting and hoping until he’d closed his bedroom door. Silent tears dampened her pillow. “How dare you call me angel and put me through hell!” she cried. “Was tonight my fault? Did he expect me, not to respond? I’d have to be dead! Should I let him do as he pleases? Is that what he wants, a puppet? How dare he set my body on fire and leave me dangling? This is the twentieth century for heaven’s sake! He said he wanted me, but he won’t make love to me? Is he lying to me?” She decided if they were ever this close again, she’d find out the real reason why he kept her feelings at arm’s length. She’s felt cheated and rejected. Disappointed he’d refused to make love to her.
------------
The next few days were much the same. Sara was tired of Jared’s emotional roller coaster. He hadn’t been mean to her, but he’d done an excellent job of keeping his emotions at bay while he’d sent hers into a tailspin. He didn’t have a care in the world. He was warm and loving until she crossed the imaginary line he’d drawn between them. She could’ve dealt with that too, but he kept moving the line, closer one day, further away the next. She was at the end of her nerves. She decided two could play his game, so she submerged herself in her music.
------------
By the beginning of the next week, her ankle had healed. As she’d predicted, the night before she was supposed to leave, Jared’s attitude had changed again. He took her for a walk in the back garden. They sat on the bench in front of the pond. He put an arm around her and pulled her close. “I noticed your things were packed. Are you going back to Lucy’s?”
Sara nodded. “Yes,” she sighed.
He swallowed hard. “I’ll take you home in the morning.”
“I can drive. I do have my car here, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” He acted as if it had slipped his mind.
~ ~ ~
They sat in silence for a long time, watching the ducks paddling around the edge of the water. “Sara, you know I love you, right?” he prompted.
“Really?” she snorted. Could’ve fooled me!
He lifted her chin. There was love in her eyes, but also a keep-your-distance look. “Don’t ever doubt it, Sara,” he said and kissed her. At first it was soft and gentle, almost like he would’ve kissed his mother, then it changed. The halfway wall between them fell. Jared’s kiss changed to one of staggering passion. She met him more than halfway as she’d done so many times in the past week. She cupped the back of his neck and tangled her fingers in his dark hair. If he decided to shorten it, he would have to force her away.
He pressed his forehead to hers. “You don’t have to go,” he said in a shaky whisper. “You could still stay with me. If that’s what you want.”
What kind of game are you playing? You know how much I want you. I’ve made it crystal clear, even for a blind man. “Do you want me to stay?” she asked in a sharp voice.
Jared frowned, annoyed. “What do you mean? Of course, I want you to stay! You know that!”
Sara rested her head on his shoulder. “After the last few days, I wasn’t sure. I mean, you’ve been acting so strange, warm one day, cold the next. What do you want from me?” Her eyes glossed. “I don’t know what to do or say. How far am I supposed to go? I’m no different from any other puppet. I can walk a white line but not if you keep moving it. I know what I want. Do you?”
“I want you, Sara, you know that!” He closed his eyes and threw his head back. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I love you more than life, Sara. I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
“You’re not gonna lose me, but you are pushing me away.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. “No – never! I will never do that!”
She stared into his eyes for a long while, reading him; wanting more than anything to trust him. “I’ll stay,” she sighed. “Since our last conversation, I don’t care if Mother knows or not, but I need to tell Lucy. She can tell Mother if she wants to, but it won’t come from me.”
Jared kissed the top of her head and snorted. “You don’t get along well with your mother, do you?”
She grimaced. “Does it show?”
“I’m afraid so,” he smiled. “When are you gonna introduce us?”
“I wasn’t aware you were masochistic.”
“Come on, Sara,” he chuckled. “She can’t be that bad.”
She moved a few paces from him. “Yes, she can!”
He put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her. “If we’re gonna stay together, sooner or later, I’ll have to face the music.”
She sighed and put her arms around his waist. “I know, but I’d prefer it be later - a lot later.”
“I’m not afraid of her. After living through insults and ridicule, I think I can handle one paleface old woman.”
She softly smiled. “You don’t know this paleface. Mother’s looks can freeze, and she speaks with a forked tongue. No matter what you do, it’s never enough. Even as a child I couldn’t please her. It was always, ‘Sara you need to try harder. Sara, I would have done it differently. Sara, you’re such a disappointment. When are you going to grow up?’ She was surprised at how closely she’d mimicked her mother’s voice.
Jared kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about your mother, at least not right now. The gig is only two weeks away. While you were recovering, the band and I have been working. Now that you’re well, we need to put in some serious rehearsal time and get down to business.”
They did have a lot of work to do. OK, if that’s the way you want it. I’ll play along. “When do you wanna rehearse?” she prompted and tried to sound enthusiastic.
“Now, if you want. I mean, you and I could go over some of your new material, and see how it sounds. It’s on your laptop – right?”
“Yeah, but it’s in our,” she broke off. “Your bedroom, I meant to say.”
“You were right the first time, angel,” he smiled. “It’s our bedroom, even if I’m not sleeping in it right now.”
“Could we talk about that?”
He looked away. “What’s to talk about?”
“Even though you slept on top of the covers, the first night I stayed here, you slept with me. Why won’t you do it now? I sleep sounder if you’re with me.”
“I can’t trust myself. That’s why I don’t sleep in the same bed as you. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll end up making love to you.”
“And?”
“I’ve already told you why I won’t do that.”
“Why?” Sara asked. She was determined to get answers.
“I thought we were gonna rehearse.”
“I thought we were talking about us,” she countered.
“Dammit, Sara! Why can’t you accept what we have? I love you. Before you give me or anyone your innocence, I want you to be sure.”
She rolled her eyes. “OK, that one caught me by surprise,” she snorted. “I thought I’d made it clear to you.” She put her arms around his neck and rose on her tiptoes. She stared into his eyes. Jared stared back. “Don’t you believe me?” she prompted and kissed him. “Don’t you want me?” He pressed her hard against his body and deepened the kiss, crushed his lips to hers. There was want there, whether it was lust or love didn’t matter to Sara. For a while, she thought he’d given in until he stood.
“Don’t do that!” He was angry again. “Meet me in the studio. I’ll bring your laptop. We’ll work!” he ordered and left.
“Fine! If that’s the way you want it!” Sara was angry now too. She would play his game, but she wouldn’t play fair. She would make it difficult for him, tease him and provoke him in any way possible. He wasn’t the only one who’d been pushed over the edge. She couldn’t understand how he wanted to make love to her one minute and jump down her throat the next. She shook her head, went out to the studio and began practicing. Dr. Thundercloud, the rules of this game just got nasty!