Jared tossed the tools and equipment, in the back of his father’s 4x4 and loaded his bike. He hadn’t said a word. From the look on his face, Sara sensed the news was grim. She took his hand and hoisted onto the back seat. He slid in beside her, put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
Tom waited until everyone was buckled in and headed back to the ranch. Because they had to go the long way around, it took them twice the time to get back. The sun was already setting.
Once at the barn, Jared and Sara rode back to the house on his bike, unnecessarily slowly. With the engine barely above an idle, it was easy to talk, but he hadn’t said anything. Sara was concerned about his silent, dark mood. “Are you OK?”
“Not really,” he sighed.
“Can I ask?”
“Leo said it was anthrax. He and my father are testing the other horses. I should be helping, but I just couldn’t. We’ll have to hope for the best. If any of the others test positive,” he broke off.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too, but more so for Myra.”
“When will your father tell her?”
“Soon, I imagine. Keeping it from her won’t change anything or make it easier for him or her.”
“No, I don’t suppose it would.”
~ ~ ~
Jared parked his bike beside Myra’s Audi. A lump formed in Sara’s throat. She felt sorry for her and hoped Tom told her soon. She didn’t know how long she could keep her grief hidden. Apart from her instinctive fear of Jared, Myra was wild and carefree, nothing bothered her. From Sara’s experience, the farther someone fell, the more the fall hurt. Myra had a long way to fall.
Tom and Leo had been friends since childhood, so it wasn’t surprising when he invited him to stay for dinner. Leo, of course, graciously accepted. Nadine was an accomplished cook, and the Thunderclouds were excellent hosts. Most people who knew them jumped at an opportunity to socialize with them. Tonight, however, Sara was sure Tom had other motives for his neighborly gesture.
Telling Myra about Satan wouldn’t be stress-free, even for Tom. Maybe he needed the extra-added support of his friend, and maybe he hoped Leo’s professional detachment would lessen the impact the news would have on Myra. Maybe deep down, despite his strong commandeering demeanor, Tom was like any other father, afraid and unwilling to hurt his daughter.
------------
Whether it had been planned or coincidental, after dinner, Tom, Jared, and Leo, took Myra for a walk out in the backyard. She ran into the house with tear dampened cheeks; they’d told her. As she passed Sara, Myra gave her a strange stare, almost a look of betrayal. Why should she feel this way? Does she in some way blame me? Is it my fault?
Nadine went upstairs after Myra, to comfort her, but a few minutes later she came back to the kitchen where Sara sat at the table. Her face was unreadable. She sat across from her and folded her hands on the table in front of her. For a long time, they sat in silence. “You know, being a mother can sometimes be the hardest trial on earth,” she said in a small empty voice and stared at her hands.
“So my mother says,” Sara snorted, “especially when it comes to me.”
Nadine studied her eyes, her expression didn’t change. She sighed and looked back at her hands. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I love all three of my children. It’s just hard, when you have to tell your child something you know will break their heart. You wanna take away the pain or spare them of it altogether, and you can’t.” She locked eyes with Sara. “It’s part of the growing up process. It’s… a mother’s place to be responsible, strong and supportive. But it doesn’t make the job easier.”
Sara didn’t know how to respond.
“You never get used to that part – that and letting go.” She paused and twisted her hands. “You have to watch them walk, headstrong into disaster, knowing you can’t change the direction of their path. You desperately wanna point out the holes, so they don’t fall in them or wander down the wrong footpaths, but you just can’t.” She fell silent.
Sara had never seen her like this. She seemed weak and vulnerable. Not the strong Navajo mother, with her ironclad ways, and years of tradition to guide her, Sara had pictured her to be. She pondered on the meaning behind her words. What prompted her to open up and confess her inner feelings to me? Are they for her benefit? A form of confession? Proof she’s human? Were they meant for Myra? Or were they intended for me and Jared? Afraid of what the answer might be, she didn’t ask.
~ ~ ~
The awkward silence dragged on until they heard the men coming in from the patio. Nadine snapped back to reality and put on a plastic smile. Sara tried, but Nadine was better at pretending than she was. She didn’t understand why, but Nadine’s mood and words worried her.
Jared sat in the chair next to Sara. Leo said his goodbyes and Tom walked him to the door. Coming back to the kitchen, he laid his wide dark hands on Nadine’s shoulders and gently massaged her neck. He sighed deeply. “It’s done.”
She patted her husband’s rough and wrinkled hands and leaned her head back to smile at him. “So I gathered.” He reflected her weak smile. “What do we do now?”
“Wait. Hope. Be there for her. Help her as much as she’ll let us. I don’t think trying to replace Satan would be a good idea. He was unique.”
Nadine’s expression turned cold, bitter; she clenched her teeth. “I just can’t see it. That horse fought to survive. He had to survive! For him to give up, without a fight - it just doesn’t seem right. He came from a strong, sturdy bloodline, Tom. How did he get anthrax? Where did he get it?”
He scratched his head. “These things sometimes happen, love. There’s not always a good explanation. Things turn out the way they do for a reason.” He paused and looked directly at Jared. “No matter how much we ask why, sometimes, we have to accept our destiny without question.”
Sara glanced at Jared. The expression on his face was stressed. His jaw was set like marble. His eyes glowed deep amber, swirling to pale crimson. It was something she’d learned to recognize. He was upset. Tom was communicating a silent message to his son, and he didn’t like the implications.
For minutes they stared at each other; Tom broke the gaze. Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She understood that reaction too. The next time he opened his eyes, they would be normal again. He would be calm, collected and focused; any signs of anger would be well hidden. Sara knew not to ask what had made him upset. He wouldn’t tell her.
She wished she shared some of his abilities. If she did, maybe her mind wouldn’t be filled with so many unanswered questions.
Jared looked back at Tom and nodded. “I agree. Replacing Satan would be a mistake. Myra would be resentful. I know I would be.”
Nadine stood. “I think we could all use a nice hot cup of goan.” Without further prompting she prepared the drinks.
~ ~ ~
She’d been right. The goan had done the trick. The atmosphere was much calmer when they moved to the living room. Sara and Jared cuddled up on the loveseat. He picked up the remote and flipped through the channels for something to watch. After accepting defeat, he put it on one of the music channels and reduced the volume until the sound was barely audible.
Tom watched the show a while with them. “So, Jared, are you and the band participating in the convention this year?”
Jared smiled at Sara and squeezed her shoulder. “Sure. It’s what Granddad would’ve wanted. Besides, I’m looking forward to showing off the new star.”
Sara blushed. “Jared! I’m not a star,” she said, chagrined.
“You’re not getting off that easy, Sara,” Tom laughed. “I’ve heard your CD. They play your song almost nonstop on the radio. Honey, you’re a star already. You need a little more promotion. After the convention, you’ll be well on your way.”
“We,” she corrected.
Jared chuckled and pushed her hair behind her ear. “I’ll be there with you, as will the rest of the band, but you don’t need any of us. You shine all on your own,” he said with admiration.
Sara tried changing the subject. She didn’t like being singled out. “Speaking of the band, how will they get down here? Fly?”
“Probably, since we’re already here,” he said. “We usually all come together, by coach.”
“You have your own bus?”
Jared laughed. “No, we rent one for the occasion. Needless to say, we’ll probably get one soon, thanks to you,” he said, turning the spotlight back to her.
She sighed, exasperated. “In that case, shouldn’t we go back, and get them and the equipment?”
“I’ll call and rent a van. Carl, Steve, and Lucy can get things together. They can handle it, Sara. They’ve been here so many times they could find the ranch blindfolded.”
“Don’t we need to practice before the convention?”
“We probably should get them down here a little early, so we can practice some. Dad?”
Tom looked away from the screen. “Hmm?”
“Could we set up at the far end of the garage?”
“Sure,” he smiled. “If you get too loud, the only neighbors who might complain would be the prairie dogs. That or Wil E,” he chuckled at his private joke. Knowing he was referring to a Looney Tunes cartoon character, Sara and Jared joined in.
Their euphoric moods changed when Nadine took her place beside Tom on the sofa. He picked up her hand and placed it between his. “How is she?” he asked, remorsefully.
“She’s coping,” she sighed.
~ ~ ~
They all sat in silence for a while. “So, Dad, are we gonna finish the fence line in the morning?” Jared asked.
Tom glanced toward the stairs. He looked at Nadine. “I don’t know. I think the best thing to do is keep the rest of the horses away from the northern grazing grounds for a while. At least until Leo has the results of the tests. If Satan died of anthrax, the ground where he went down will be contaminated. I don’t want the other horses dying too, especially not little Angelstar.” He glanced at Sara, grinned and turned his attention to Jared. “Sara’s taken a shine to her.”
Jared cleared his throat. “Yes, she has, which reminds me, Sara. I’ve decided to give her to you.”
“Really?” She smiled.
“Yes, really – if you want her. Remember, a horse is a big responsibility, especially one that’s half mustang. They’re a little feistier than domesticated horses.”
Sara pursed her lips. “I don’t know, Jared. Angelstar’s Satan’s colt. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to give her to Myra? She’s all that’s left of Satan, now – correct?”
“Yeah, but….”
“It’s not that I don’t want her,” she broke in, “but I think you should ask Myra first. If she doesn’t want her, I’ll gladly take her. I’ve never owned a horse.”
Tom looked at Jared and smiled. “That might not be a bad idea. If Myra does want the colt, we’ve got plenty of horses. Sara can have her pick.”
“You don’t have to do that, Tom.”
He glanced at Jared again. “No, I don’t, but, I want to. Besides, they’re half yours already. They belong to Jared. I look after them for him.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
“Wasn’t there also the matter of looking for a piece of land – to build a house on?”
“Mother spoke to you about it?”
“I think it’s an excellent idea. We’d love to have you and Sara closer by. It would be good for Myra too. She’s been lonely since you left. She never says much about it, but I can tell she misses you.”
Jared studied Sara’s eyes. “We wouldn’t be permanently moving to Arizona, Dad. I’ve invested a lotta time and money in Wisteria Hall. I can’t just walk away from it. I don’t wanna sell it either. It was hard enough to get my hands on it for the price I paid. It’s not something that’s gonna happen again. However, I’d like the opportunity to design and build my own house, our house,” he smiled.
“Consider it settled,” Tom nodded. “Pick out the land you want, and I’ll have my lawyer draw up the paperwork. When you’re ready, you can start building.”
Jared looked at Sara again. “We’re not in a big hurry. Let’s get a few loose ends tied up first. There’s the matter of The Council, now Satan, and the convention is weeks away.”
Nadine arched an eyebrow at Jared. “There’s another matter we need to deal with, also.”
Jared sighed and stood, bringing Sara with him. “Yeah, it needs to be settled soon.” He winked at Sara. “I think it might be time for bed. It’s been a long and tiring day.” Sara smiled and yawned to conceal her expectations. He squeezed her hand. The warm amber glow and sparkle in his eyes told her sleep was secondary on his agenda.
------------
Jared closed the door behind them and pushed Sara against the wall; his lips claimed hers. He slid his hands under her shirt and slowly skimmed his fingers up her back. Sara shivered and groaned when he nibbled her neck. “I’m cashing in my rain check,” he breathed against her skin in a deep husky voice.
~ ~ ~
After their shower, while they lay tangled in each other’s arms, Sara listened to Jared’s steady heartbeat. Because her thoughts were too mingled, she couldn’t sleep. She kept going back to the conversation in the living room. What matter were Nadine and Jared talking about, which needed to be dealt with? It seemed all of them were in on a private joke, and Sara had missed the punch line.
She thought about Jared’s grandmother. How she’d died without warning. She thought about the sketches Jared hadn’t shown her and the information in George Thundercloud’s book. How they’d found Satan, Myra’s horse, dead in the desert. Her thoughts wandered back to the horrible dream about the wooden wolves. Her mind refused to settle; she simply couldn’t sleep.
~ ~ ~
When he rolled onto his side, Sara decided to read, but what could she read? The only book she’d brought with her was George Thundercloud’s, and she didn’t want to read it. It didn’t make for late night reading. She decided to web surf for a while. She carefully unzipped her laptop case. To her surprise, her loving bed partner had packed ‘Breaking Dawn’ for her, the last book of the ‘Twilight’ set. She smiled and began reading, curious how the story ended.
Between 3:30 and four that morning, her eyelids drooped. She put her book down, cuddled up to Jared’s back and drifted to sleep.