I didn’t visit Sean in prison. He had deceived me, lied to me, and I felt used. Could I really have loved him? Could I have loved Crispin? And what about Seb? In all cases I had been deliriously happy for a period of time and then it was heartache again. I hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with Crispin after the George incident: I wanted nothing to do with Seb after I'd found out he'd lied to me, and now I didn’t want anything to do with Sean. I was unhappy with my life. Why did things always go wrong? If it hadn’t been for such wonderful friends as Jane and Neeta, I don’t know how I would have coped.
For two months, one or the other would make sure I didn’t spend weekends alone. I spent some time with my parents and they looked after me like an invalid. But I felt claustrophobic when I stayed with them. I needed to do things myself and they wouldn’t let me. It was after one particular visit to them that I realised how much both Jane and Neeta had watched over me but yet allowed me to feel as though I was acting alone.
Jane asked me to Sunday lunch and I agreed to make the dessert. We spent the Saturday shopping together. Neeta persuaded me to invite them for a meal on another Sunday and insisted we went shopping on the Saturday. I bought a new dress – one I wouldn’t have bought on my own. But I felt great when I wore it the next day.
Slowly, the hurt I felt eased.
At the end of July, I had again been shopping with Jane. We decided to have a spot of lunch in M&S. before Jane went home to cook a meal for Simon. Just as Jane was leaving, I spotted my old neighbours Mr & Mrs Jones. At the same time, they spotted me too and walked towards our table.
“We were so sorry to hear about your troubles,” Mr Jones told me, patting my arm, “but it would have been worse if you’d married the man.” I agreed, although I didn’t mention that we weren’t planning on getting married. But what he said next, stunned me.
“It was us who put the police onto him,” Mr Jones said in a voice that was both proud but also nervous, as if he was afraid of my response. “We had gone to my nephew’s wedding in Ireland, in early June. He was marrying a girl from near Cork. It was the first time we have ever been abroad. Isn’t that right dear?” Mrs Jones nodded her agreement. “There was a paper in the bed and breakfast we were staying in. Inside was a report of a robbery at the same hotel where the wedding reception was. It was almost four years ago but there had been no sighting of the man the police suspected. The paper was demanding to know what the police were doing. When I saw the picture of the suspect, I said to my wife, ‘He looks just like the man in Rainbow’s End, doesn’t he?’ I didn’t know my nephew’s new father-in-law was a policeman. I mentioned the picture to him and he insisted on coming to see me the next day. He was so excited when he interviewed us, wasn’t he dear?” Again Mrs Jones nodded her agreement. “We could be in line for a reward.”
As much as I had liked the Jones’s when they lived across the road from me, I now wanted to get away from them. I felt as though they were responsible for destroying my happiness. Jane, sensing my feelings, insisted on taking me for a coffee, even though we had just eaten. Anything to get me away from the Jones's. Carefully and quietly, she made me realise that it was Sean who had destroyed my happiness. Sooner or later, someone would have recognised him and he would have been arrested. Yet again I had needed my friends to make me see sense. But I still felt betrayed by Mr and Mrs Jones.