CHAPTER TEN
“Why aren't you calling?” Samantha inquired jokingly. She was in a mood that had almost never been a part of her life growing up; ecstatic. She blamed it on everything but her mother. Ridiculously, her mother still held a grudge. Ridiculous as it sounded.
She munched at the cracker taking the last of the fruit juice to wash it down.
It was impossible not to laugh as he paced about in her kitchen, looking like a panther, jerking nervously like a frightened kitten all at the same time. Amazed at her own voice as the laughter bubbled, and she couldn't hold it back, taking the glass to the sink.
Holding back the urge to say something to embarrass him, she covered the tin of biscuit and set it back in the cupboard, anything to do to avoid watching him. As fun as it was to, she was beginning to feel that pull at her breast. He seemed huge in the room, and she flagged it off as being that it was the first time a male had entered into her home, her kitchen ever.
Truly, she had gone a step, not only bringing him into the house but inviting him to sit at her kitchen which he hadn't done.
She sighed, fighting to keep from letting her thoughts shifts in the wrong direction. This was not going to go that way. They were just friends and she was okay with that.
Placing the glass back into the cabinet, she slammed the door forcefully, bringing him out of his reverie. It did nothing to soothe a temper that was already rising.
His eyes narrowed, zoomed in on her, to be precise and her heart skipped a beat, making her huff in disgust at such silliness. He was watching her now, and something crossed his face she didn't feel strong enough to interpret. Folding her hands across her chest, miffed at herself, she turned away. Irritably, her pulse quickened much to her annoyance.
He seemed to have forgotten he'd been pacing just a second ago. His gaze on her was burning her inside out. She didn't like it. One minute she was laughing, the next, her mind had wandered and now, everything in the room seem to go blurry, the air was crackling like electric current and her palms were damp. Her whole body was ablaze with heat. If only she had kept her mind from veering.
The one thing Mark had always reminded himself was that all they had was friendship he wouldn't get carried away by whatever feelings he may have for her. A man’s hormones were subject to his will. A man didn't let his hormones decide.
The sheer joy he felt when he heard her laugh just a moment ago! It was such a beautiful sound. But something had changed her mood. He couldn't really say out loud what he thought had changed. He knew. And that annoyed him as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
He could feel the sweat forming at his forehead. His gaze, he glued to the floor like an architect would admire a piece, just, so he wouldn't look at her. But his mind kept seeing her. She looked so breathtaking standing there, completely oblivious to the wicked thoughts racing through his mind.
He should not have thought they could be friends without her affecting him. In a matter of fact, she had had him hooked since that first time he laid eyes on her. He'd sunk down with hook, line and sinker into those mesmerizing eyes and that innocent, mystic air she carried.
His hands involuntarily balled into fists. He felt like hitting something just, so he wouldn't use those hands to do whatever his mind was conjuring. If she got just a glimpse of it, shed run screaming.
'You should go to your room, Samantha. I'll find my way out.' His voice was barely concealed by the raging of his male ferocious need.
He wanted her to leave. But she didn't. She stood there. He needed to clear his head. That was a fat chance if she stayed in the same room with him. His body stilled against the onslaught of blinding lust. His breath was ragged. She still stood there. He refused to look at her. It hurt to. How could she be so pretty standing there, shocked and dazed? She had no clue, no idea what it was doing to him.
Samantha. His voice came out a growl, an animal-like sound that was barely a restrained hunger for what he couldn't have.
Her steps were light. He felt her as she moved towards him. And cupped his face.
The feel of her hand on him sent heat all over his body and sweat unlike any he'd ever known, broke out of him, not excluding his palms. The desire to pull her in and ravage her was so powerful.
He wanted to push her away. He should push her away. She had no idea the thoughts on his mind. She didn't know what that innocent touch was eliciting. If she had any idea how dangerous it was for her to touch him, she would run the opposite direction. For her sake, he took a step backwards, but she didn't let go. She held onto his face firmly in her hands.
He heard her speak but could not make out the words. Her breath was like a soothing balm on his face even as his body maintained the heat that had enveloped him. He turned his head slightly to look at her and saw she was almost glowing, a soft smile on her face making her look ethereal.
“Let's go for a walk.,” She said and used her hands to wipe off the sweat on his face. “The fresh air would help us both.”
She took a step back and left the kitchen.
She looks so calm and in control while I'm raging hormones.
Mark wasn't sure how long he stood there. His thoughts were jumbled at the moment. He took a long breath to calm the pounding of his heart. By the time he stepped outside, the gate was wide open, and she was standing outside.
“The walk,” He muttered to himself, “… is exactly what I need.”
∞ ∞ ∞
Wonderful, yes! Jubilant, yes! Excited? Thrilled? All yeses. Name the happy word and she was it. Not once in her life had she met a man more in control of himself.
She hugged herself. This has been an adventure indeed. She had never experienced anything so real, tugging and at the same time exciting. Without looking backwards, she knew he was behind her and prayed her emotions were not advertised on her face because she was having a difficult time containing it.
Her walk took her to the large children's playground the estate management had set up a few years ago. Samantha had only brought her sister here a few times and now at 11years old, Rita had told her she was officially too old for that playground and innocently requested to go the park only. Her baby sister was growing so fast she could barely keep pace.
Sighing contentedly, she opened the gate and barely missed a ball that came flying at her head. She didn't bother turning to see whether her companion was following because she knew he was some steps behind. A few curious eyes followed their progress.
It was a nice place. And noisy. Children running, playing and shouting at the same time. It was funny some tricks the kids played on each other and every so often, on their guardians.
Mark sat at the other end of the bench well away from her. After what happened in her kitchen, he didn't know where they were anymore.
Where the thrill came from and the pure sense of peace that settled over her, she wasn't sure. She smiled her thanks into heaven and patted the bench beside her, beckoning him to shift closer. His eyes darted around. He did a lot of calculating before he deemed it fit enough to shift closer but avoided body contact.
His back was as stiff as a board and his jaw was set, his gaze, on the buzz of activities in front of them, all to avoid looking at her.
The wonder of it all, that she could be this calm after an ordeal that had left her really shaken. This time, she didn't hold back the smile that touched her lips.
Caution. She heard the word as if in a whisper. She needed it.
Blowing out a deep breath, she gazed at the children running around, avoiding the adults as calls were made to go home.
“Mark...”
His head snapped up, but he didn't look at her. She decided to tell him a little about herself.
“I come from an extended family.' She began, wringing her hands not out of nerves, but this part of her life, few people knew about. “My mother is only one of many wives.”
The warning came a second time, Be careful.
“I was scared at first because my mother's marriage is not a very good example. So, I decided to wait until I knew what I really wanted of a marriage. That's why I'm still single. I don't regret that decision at all.”
He glanced at her, but she was already looking at the scene as one-by-one, parents and nannies packed up their charges and left. It was getting slightly dark, the light.
“I'm sorry for the mess I created for both of us, Mark.” Now fully conscious of his gaze on her, she searched around for a diversion. “I'm not a pitiful woman in need of a husband.” Her voice was surprisingly calm. “I made a mistake. I accepted that and moved on.” She remembered the warning, sighed. “We have moved on. Whatever happens is up to us. I want you to know that I'm not in the habit of making stupid mistakes.”
Under a strain she couldn't recognize, she suddenly felt tired. She had so much to say but the warning came again. She didn't expect him to say anything, yet, she wasn't surprised when he did.
“I never want to hurt you, Samantha, or give you false hope.,” He said it so soft, but she felt the pull deep in her heart, realizing that he was about to take steps in doing exactly that.
“I've never wanted a female this much before.” He gave a shaky laugh. “Maybe because I've never been this close to a woman.”
She stilled herself against the next words she was sure to hear.
“I respect you and value the friendship we have.” Then paused a bit and amended. 'Had.”
She bit her lower lip, repeating to herself that she was not going to cry nor feel guilty. She had already apologized.
“I don't know how we got to where we are today. So much has happened and I don't think I can continue like this.”
Samantha held back the tears, telling herself she wouldn't cry; not for him, not to him. If he didn't want anything more to do with her, she could rest easy that at least, she apologized.
“I thought I could do it. I failed you as a friend and for that, I'm sorry.”
The tears that began burning her eyes stopped. These were not the words she'd expected. Her heart leapt to her throat in dreadful anticipation.
He went down on one knee as a security man started walking towards them. He took her hands in his, her heart went out to him as she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. “I may not be able to give you a house or buy you a painting worth a million. But if there's a chance we could be more, I'd like to see where it'll lead to. If you're not too objected to being seen with me, that is.”
The security man, seeing the gesture, stood, then turned and started back to the gate.
“I'm sorry for scaring you the way I did back there. I'm sorry for acting like a lustful teenager. I'm probably out of my league here.” He laughed at himself.
Samantha held herself still, looking shocked. It wasn't faked. She just did not want to misunderstand his intentions.
Absently, he rubbed a thumb against her knuckles, making her shiver from the sensations he elicited. He didn't appear to register it, and she was glad for that.
“We have made mistakes in the past, and we are through that. I realize I wouldn't be here now if not for those mistakes. So, do I have a chance to win your heart, Samantha?”
She went very still. This countered what she thought he was going to say. She already had an answer, one she couldn't bring herself to say, reminding herself that this wasn't a marriage proposal. Yet.
Forcing aside the fears and doubts, she put a smile on her face which didn't reach her eyes. He must have noticed it too because his hold on her hands tightened and in his eyes was fear. Of rejection. Of not being good enough.
She closed her eyes and she gave him her answer.