Angel...
I don’t know how long we’ve been on the rode but I’m enjoying every minute of it. At first I was a little scared. I haven’t been on a bike since the last time we were together. Call me crazy but I wanted to cherish every last memory I lived with him. Manic would always try to get me to ride on his bike but I would always refuse. We ride through an avenue of trees as we come to the end of the trees it opens up into a beautiful lake. “You’re such in asshole” I hop of his bike with shaky legs and my heart in my throat. I know he was speeding on purpose to get a raise out of me. Even though I enjoy riding on the back of his bike I would never admit it. “You know you loved it” he chuckles as he parks his bike. He is right I did love it just like the first time. I love the way the wind caress my skin, I love the feeling of going so fast that nothing nor no one could catch up to me. I love the way my heart pound so hard against my chest and I love the way my body roar to life having his so close.
Snap out of it Angel! This is a business meeting. I spin around to get a better view of the lake. Since we are in autumn the leafs on the tress are turning all different shade of red and falling off the tress onto the ground making it look like a painting. The wind makes the tree sway from side to side like if they are dancing to a love song that only they can hear. The weather is just right neither to hot nor to cold. All you can hear in the air is the sound of the water slamming against the rocks. “Wow this is amazing” I say as I take everything in. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life. “I know right,” Tabios pops his seat open to get something “I’ve discover this place when I was a teenager and been coming ever since”.
“Lucky you” I mumble a little envy of him. I wish I had a place like this to go to when I was having a bad day it would of kept me out of a lot of trouble. I was such a rebellious teen since I didn’t have anyone that cared enough to correct me I got into all kinds of trouble. I’ve never been a nature kind of girl but being out here might change my mind. I feel at peace being surrounded by nothing but nature. Wait a minute, now that I think about it there is nothing here. There are no people, no roads, just me and him. I turn to face him “Oh you think you’re slick”. He dragged me to the middle of nowhere were I can’t run away or where no one can come to my rescue. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” he sings as he pulls out a picnic basket. What the hell? Just when I think I have him pin down he goes and does the total opposite. “Is that a picnic basket?” I ask trying my best not to laugh at him.
“I guess” he shrugs his shoulder as he walks to find a spot for us to sit. “What the hell is this?” he pulls out the picnic blanket. I shake my head out of amusement “Give me that”. I snatch the blanket away from his hand and unfold it. “I’m guessing you didn’t pack the basket yourself” I spread the blue blanket on the grass. “What gave me away?” he smirks as he takes a seat. Geezh, maybe the fact that he didn’t know what to do with a blanket. He reaches into the basket and starts to pull out the food. My stomach growls as the smell of the food even though I ate before coming.
“Are you going to sit down or are you going to stand like a statue?” he looks up at me with those hazel eyes. The way the sun ray is hitting his face make his eyes look like gems. “Umm I think I’ll just stand”. I need to put enough space between us just in case I have to escape. I don’t know where the hell I’m going to run to. “Sit your ass down” he tugs on my arm to seat me down next to him. I guess I’ll seat then. I slide to the right trying to add enough distant between us. He hands me a homemade sandwich and I am not talking about just any sandwich. I am talking about a 6 ft. long sandwich with chicken, tomato, lettuce, pepper, onions, cheese well you get the point. I un-wrap the sandwich and take a bite out of it. I can’t stop myself from moaning. Oh god this is so good “You made this?” I say with food in my mouth. I know that it’s not lady like but hey I never said I was a lady.
“No,” he laughs as he hands me a napkin “You have something on your face”. Knowing the messy eater that I am I probably have mayo all over my face. I grab the napkin and swipe my mouth “Well who ever made it is an awesome cook”. He nods his head in agreement “Eva is the best you should try her pancakes”. Who the hell is Eva? I feel my heart drop to my stomach. There is only one reason for him to taste her pancakes. What the hell was I thinking this isn’t a date, we aren’t here to mingle I don’t even know why we are here. “Why am I here?” I ask a little irritated.
“So we can catch up” he simply says. He turns to the basket and hands me a cold beer. So we can catch up? “Because we know each other so well” I mock as I take a sip of the beer. The cold liquid feels amazing going down. “Well I like to think we are” his mouth twisted. I know exactly what he means. I shake my head as I laugh “Right, we fucked one time so I guess that makes us best friends” I mock. I doubt he is friends with every girl he has ever fucked. Or is he? “I took your virginity” he says with his chest out like if he was proud of that. “You sure you don’t want to bang your chest like King Kong?” I ask. He wants to act like a damn caveman he might as well go all out. “That’s a great idea” he starts to pound on his chest like a madman “I took your virginity”. I throw my head back in laughter leave it up to him to actually do it. “Wow,” I hear him say under his breath. I snap my head back at him “What?” I say while still laughing. “You have the most amazing laugh I’ve ever herd” he states. I feel my blood rushing to my cheeks at his compliment. “I bet you say that to every girl” I brush it off.
“Actually no,” he runs his fingers through his hair “So where have you been?”. Wow he just hit me with a right hook. “Well after I close the club I went home” I answer knowing damn well he didn’t mean that. I reach for the fruit bowl and grab a grape to stuff it in my mouth. “Oh look who thinks they are funny now” he smile. An actually smile, my heart warms up seeing him smile, on the right side of his mouth there is a small dimple. He looks so young and carefree. “Look who knows how to smile” I say trying to change the subject.
“Yeah yeah, where you’ve been?” his smile vanish and replace by a frown. Well that didn’t go as well as I thought. What can I say? I was back home living with a mother who hates me or should I mention the physio path biker, who can possible be hunting me down as we speak to kill me. “I was with my mom” I simply state. He doesn’t need to know the rest of the story that is for me to know only. “What made you come back?” he leans over me to get some grapes. His upper arm brushes against my leg and I have to fight the urge to lean into his touch. He brings a strawberry to his mouth and flicks his tongue over the tip. My soul leaves my body as I watch his every move. His mouth smile as he sinks his white teeth into the strawberry and juice start spilling from it.
My mouth turns into water as I remember what that mouth can really do. My panties are soaking wet by the time he is done eating that damn strawberry. “Want some?” he licks his lips. “Umm,” no but I want you to eat me like that damn strawberry “No thank you” I smile as I take a sip of my beer. “So what made you come back” he asks again.
Mm let’s see maybe the fact that I was tired of my mother always finding a way to make me feel like shit or maybe it was the raping part. “I needed a change in my life”. Isn’t that the truth. I don’t know if it’s just me or it’s getting hot. I unzip my jacket and slide it off me. I pull my sleeves up to my upper arm. “So what have you been up to? Fuck any virgins?” I ask trying to take the hot spot of me.
“Surprisingly no,” he slide of his jacket “I guess virgins just don’t come as easy as they did”. I can’t stop myself from laughing. “You better be careful I heard Dracula died because of the virgins population going down”. He throws his head back as he barks out in laughter. If I thought his smile made him look handsome his laughter makes me want to jump his bones. I reach over him to get a beer out the basket. I need something to keep me calm. As I pull my hand back out of the basket he wraps his hand around my wrist “What is this?”. He turns my hand upside down to get a better view of my tattoo. He runs his finger from side to side. I feel my hearts in my throat as I stop breathing. What if he discovers the meaning behind the tattoo?
“I’m fine?” he reads my tattoo like a question. I feel a sense of relief mix with sadness. My tattoo is actually an ambigram tattoo which means it has two meaning. If you see it from his point of view it read I’m fine but if you see it from my point of view it reads save me. I remember the exact day I got it done. My mom and I had just gotten into a huge argument over one of her boyfriend who was a little touchy feely with me. I ended up confronting him in front of her but all she did was blame me. If I didn’t dress like a whore maybe they wouldn’t confuse me like one she would say. The thing with my mom is that no matter whose fault it really is somehow it always ends up being mine. I left the house for 3 days and for those 3 days I hit the liquor a little too hard.
I found myself drowning in my own misery waiting for my prince charming to come for my rescue but yet again he was nowhere to be found. One of my friend worked at a tattoo shop and one night I was going through his sketch book and found this tattoo. I instantly saw it for what it was and I knew I had to have it on me plus I thought it was a way to get back at my mother. Ever since than I came up with this crazy idea that if there was really a prince charming he would recognize my scream for help without me actually screaming.
“Yeah you know one of those stupid drunk tattoos you regret” I say trying to down play it. He looks me in the eyes as his finger trace my tattoo “No this means something to you but I know you won’t tell me”. I feel my eyes burning with tears I am fighting back. How does he know that? His touch is burning my flesh.
“So how did you become the owner of Blue Balls?” I’m so thankful he change the subject. I try pulling my arm out of his hold but he tightens his hold on my wrist. I guess I’m not going anywhere. “Well my father, if you can call him that, thought that the best way to make up for leaving me since I was just an egg in my mother’s belly was to give me a strip club”.
“Wow so he took the father of the year award huh? I wish my father would of left me a strip club” he smiles. I bet I can think of a few things he would off done differently than me. “Actually that doesn’t sound like such a bad gift” he wiggles his eyebrows at me and I can’t help but to throw my head back in laughter. He looks like a little boy trying to sneak some snacks behind his mom’s back. My laughter stops in my throat when I feel his finger on my neck “What is that?” he trace the bite mark. Fuck! I forgot about them! I slap his hand of my neck and pull my wrist out his hold “Nothing”.
Why did he have to fuck up the moment? I haven’t laughed so hard in such a long time and he goes and kills the damn moment. “Are those bite marks?” his eyebrows snap together. I pull on my scarf trying to cover them up “I said they are nothing”. I reach for my beer and gulp it down. Fucking Manic even when he is nowhere around he is still fucking my life up. I try so hard not to think about him and what he did to me but there is always something that brings me back to him.
Tears start to build up but I quickly blink them away. What the hell is wrong with me? I haven’t cried since that night and I refuse to cry especially in front of Tabios.