Angel
Present….
“Well that was fun” I reached for my pants and quickly put them on. I need to get out of here before this gets awkward. I don’t know why I keep putting myself into this situation when I know they don’t end well. “You’re leaving already?” Manic voice comes out needy. I hate when he gets all clingy after sex. He always wants me to stick around to cuddle or he wants me to stay the night. Sometimes he can act like such a girl. I’ve been fucking Manic for almost a year now you would think he would catch on by now. I don’t know what happen to him in the beginning he was all in for just sex but lately he has been acting weird.
I made it very clear to him since the beginning that I don’t date that this was just going to be straight sex. I met Manic at a bar, he had the whole bad ass biker look going for him you know tall, built like the damn hulk, and I can’t lie he is easy on the eyes with his black hair and brown eyes. Oh let’s not forget about his full man beard, cover in tattoos. I was having a stressful day thanks to my mom and needed to blow of some steam and that’s where he comes in. After that night I decided to make him my dick call.
“Yeah Manic you know the deal I cum, you cum and then I go” I reached for my shirt. You would think someone named Manic would understand the simple concept of a booty call. I’ve told him before that we aren’t dating or seeing each other we’re just fucking. That’s every men dream come true. “Angel,” he calls after me but I am too busy looking for my keys. I always lose those damn keys. “Look at me when I am speaking to you” he says more aggressively. He knows damn well I hate it when he talks to me like I am a fucking kid.
I quickly turn to face him “What?” I say with grinding teeth. I know I shouldn’t be giving him attitude he can easily break me in half. He is triple my size and weight but I don’t care no one talks to me like that. He shuts his eyes as he takes in a deep breath. I’ve learned he does that when he is getting frustrated with me which happens a lot. He opens his eyes and stares at me “I want you to be my old lady” he states.
I feel like someone just punch the living hell out of me. I lean in to the wall trying to catch my balance. “What?” I ask more to myself than to him. What would give him the idea that I want something like that? We aren’t even dating for crying out loud! This is crazy. “I want you-” I lift my finger up stopping him from talking. I don’t want to hear that again it was hard the first time. This is getting out of control. I need to shut this down and now.
“Hell no” maybe that wasn’t the best way to turn him down but that’s all I can think of saying. I need to get the fuck out of here and now. From the corner of my eye I see him jump out of bed and stomps towards me “What the fuck do you mean hell no?” he is inches away from my face now. His nose flares as he tries to control his anger “Do you know what I am asking you?” he yells in my face. Of course I know what he is asking that is why I am freaking out. Asking me to be his old lady is like getting down in one knee and asking me to marry him but 10 times worst. “Look Manic,” I try talking to him like a mom would talk to her 2 year old son who is throwing a tantrum because she won’t buy him the toy he wants. “I thought I made this clear to you from the start that I wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship all I wanted was sex”. Where the hell are my fucking keys?
“That was a fucking year ago you must of changed your mind if you’re still with me” he growls making me flinch. “No I didn’t change my fucking mind! We have good sex and you agreed to the no emotions rule” I say defended my reason for staying. I look around the floor for my keys and spot them under the bed. I walk away from him to get them. Thank god. “I think we should stop whatever you think this is between us” I say as I make sure everything that belongs to me is in my purse because I’m sure as hell not coming back here.
I turn to walk away but he grabs me by my arm and brings me face to face with him “What did you just say?” his nose flares even more now. He reminds me of an angry dragon who is ready to blow fire out his nose. I try pulling my arm out of his grip but he tightens his hold on me it feels like he is crushing my bones. Fuck that is going to leave a fucking bruise “Let go of me”.
“I just ask you to be my fucking old lady and you fucking tell me you don’t want to keep seeing me. Bitch, are you out your fucking mind?” he yells. I know I should be afraid of him but I am not. “Let go of me” I say again with more anger. “Or what bitch?” his face hardness. My stomach flutters as my heart starts pounding inside my chest painfully. Whatever is coming next isn’t going to be good.
In one quick movement he swings me onto the bed. This isn’t good he has never been this aggressive towards me. “You want to be just another whore I fuck?” he walks towards me as he strokes his hard cock. My stomach burns like if it was made of acid. Oh god he better not. “Then I’ll fucking treat you like one” he says as he throws himself at me. I roll to the side trying to get away but he pulls me by my hair, it feels like he is trying to rip my skull off. He flips me over so I am lying on my back.
“Get the fuck of me!” I cry as I start punching him on his chest. I can’t let this happen. I need to get away from him. He grabs my hands with one of his hand and pins them on top of my head while his other hand is pulling on my pants. “No, no, no!” I chant. I start kicking him as I squirm underneath him. Oh God please don’t let him do this. “Shut the fuck up” he slaps me across the face with his meaty hand.
Fuck! He hits me so hard I feel like my head did a 360 turn. My face is burning and my mouth taste like copper so he must have busted my lip open. “You use me for sex than I’ll use your body” he says as he rips my pants off. I know I use him for sex but what he is about to do to me it’s different. He is violating my rights to my own body. He is taking me without my permission. I know there is no way I am going to be able to fight him off me so I just stop trying. This is going to happen and there is no one who can stop it. Where is prince charming when you need him huh? “Stupid bitch you don’t want to be my old lady than you’ll be my whore” he says as he slams inside of me without any compassion.
Even though I am not a virgin it hurts like hell having him slam into me it feels like he just tore me in half. Vile starts rising inside my throat but I swallow it back down. A tear rolls down my cheek but I quickly turn my face away from him. I don’t want him to see any emotion coming from me. Even though in the inside I am screaming and crying on the outside I look calm as can be. “Stupid bitch” he slams back inside of me. I close my eyes and let my mind wonder.
2 years ago.....
“I am not getting on that” I point at his bike. I don’t even know how he got me to agree to go with him in the first place. One minute I was ready to kill that fucking asshole who tried to drug me and next thing I know I am out here. Well I do know how, those hazel eyes, that’s how but I am not getting on his bike and that’s final. “Get on” he commands. God he is bossy but I never been the kind of girl to follow any rules. “No,” I cross my arms across my chest like Hope does when she means business. I am sure I look as ridiculous as she does but I don’t care. His eyes drop down to my boobs that are almost spilling out of my damn chest “Fuck”. I know I should be pissed that he is checking my tits out instead of looking at me in the eyes but I am not. I like the way he is stares at me like I am the sexiest person in the world. He licks his lips and my nipples instantly go hard just thinking what he can do with that tongue. He pulls me into him so my boobs are resting against his chest
“Yes the fuck you are” he stares me right in the eyes with those big hazel eyes of his. They aren’t like any other hazel eyes that I’ve seen before. His eyes are more honey brown but the pupils are all green they are amazing. I’m trying my best to not let him see how much he affects me but my nipples give me away. He dips his head and crashes his lips against mine before I can even say anything. I wrap my arms around his neck to keep myself from falling. The moment his soft lips hit mines I knew there was nothing I can say to myself to make me walk away.
I’ve been kissed before by many different guys but none of them compares to this kiss. I feel like there is a techno party being held in my stomach and my heart is beating so hard I feel it everywhere even down there. I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I feel like I am floating in the air. I wish this kiss would never end but like everything good in my life it does. He pulls away and I am left trying to catch my breath. “Get on” he simply states and I do as I am told.
Present....
I turn my head to the side to make sure Manic is fast asleep. I lift his arm off me and quickly climb out of bed. I reach for my pants with my shaky hands and put them on again. The button is missing since he tore them off me and my shirt is also torn. I don’t even bother with my shoes all I care about is getting the fuck out of here. The parking lot is empty and the corner light pole keeps flickering making the night look even scarier. Even the night looks like it’s having a bad day. The night is silent all you can hear in the air is the sound of my own feet slapping the pavement. I open my car door with trembling hands and lock my doors. I take a moment to actually breathe. I rest my head on the steering wheel. I can’t believe what just happen.
This isn’t the first time we get into an argument but it is the first time he took it this far. I can still feel his nasty hands all over my body. I can still smell his breath on me a mixture of stall beer and cigar. I feel dirty in my own skin. I am so mad at myself for putting myself into this fucking situation. I am so furious I feel like crying but I won’t let him get that from me he doesn’t deserve my tears. I look at myself in the rear mirror. I have black streak running down my face cause by my mascara and eyeliner. A bruise where Manic hit me is starting to form on my face and my eyes are blood shot red as paint. I have bite marks on my neck and boobs some of them still have blood on them it looks like I’ve been attack by some wild animal. He fucking marked me like if I was his property. Fuck this is going to get pretty fucking nasty. I start my car and speed the fuck out of that parking lot from hell. The whole drive to my mom’s house I try my best not to cry.
I wish I can just go home and run into my mom’s arm and tell her what happen but my mom is probably out drinking so I doubt she’ll be home. I open the door and hear the living room TV on. I guess I was wrong she is home but it’s not like I can run into her arms I have a better chance of prince charming showing up. Fuck, I have to walk pass her to get to my room. I drop my head so my hair can cover my face and walked pass the living room.
“Angel is that you?” my mom ask. She never cares if I am home or not why did she have to pick this night to care? Maybe her mother intuition works after all. “Yeah I am just going to bed I talk to you tomorrow” my voice comes out thick due to the tears I’ve swallow. If it was any other mom I would be worry but since it’s mine I know she won’t even notice something is wrong. I am almost to my door I can make it.
“Angel, get your ass in this fucking living room now!” she commands. Fuck! I can either ignore her and have her bust into my room and get into another argument or I can just get this over with. I decide to get it over with she is going to see it eventually and I can’t handle another fight right now. I walk back into the living room with my head up high. “Wooow,” she lets out a small whistle as she her eyes scan my face and neck “what happen?”
This is weird is she actually concern about me? Can it be that deep down in her chest there is a heart instead of the black hole I always thought was in there? Tears start to build up in my eyes as I get ready to tell her the hell I’ve been through. “What did you do to piss him off?” she asks catching me of guard. What did I do to piss him off? Is she fucking serious? She might as well have fucking slap me across the face. “What?” I ask her with new set of tears in my eyes.
“Drop the fucking act Angel I am your mother I know how annoying you can get” she adds insult to the injury. It feels like she just stab me right in the heart with a knife and not just any knife I am talking about the one that tears you open when you pull it out. “I didn’t do anything to deserve this mom” I say while tears fall down my face. Fuck I hate myself for crying in front of her. No matter how hard I try I always end up breaking down in front of her. “Stop the tears you crying baby and go out and get me some beers” she says. Bingo! That’s the reason why she cared if I was home. She wanted some beers not because she actually cared about me.
Why was I so stupid to even think she cared? The realization that she gives 3 fucks about me hurts more than what just happen with Manic. She doesn’t even know half the story and is blaming it on me. “What have I ever done to you mom?” I ask finally having enough. I am tired of trying to do everything right for her to acknowledge me for once in her life. She always finds something to bring me down and I am fucking sick and tired of it. Let’s just get this shit over with.
“Again with this fucking question Angel?” she asks annoyed as she finishes her last sip of beer. I am sure she is annoyed because she ran out of beer and instead of doing what she wants me to do I am here asking her questions. “Tell me” I raise my voice at her, which I never do. I’m fucking sick and tired of everything. Even though I know it’s going to kill me to hear her say it I have to hear it. She places her empty beer bottle on the table and rolls her eyes. Her light brown eyes turn so dark that they almost look black “You really want to know Angel,” she spits my name out like if she was disgusted just by saying it “You look just like him. Every time I stare into your fucking eyes I see his, every time I fucking look at your face I see his, every time you smile I see his damn smile. I fucking hate him” she says with raw emotions in her eyes
I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. My throat feels scratchy and it’s difficult for me to swallow. I thought I was ready to hear what ever came out her mouth but I was wrong. She didn’t even have to say it out loud to make me understand that like my father she hates me too. “Now be useful and get me some fucking beers” she dismisses me like nothing just happen. Like she just didn’t crumple whatever was left of my heart into millions of pieces and throw it away like garbage.
I feel a knot as big as a damn soccer ball in my throat that is keeping me from speaking so I just storm off to my room before she can see how much her words really hurt me. I close my door and lean into it for some support. Everything that I’ve been holding in just pours out of me. I cover my mouth with my hands to try to hide the screaming that rips from inside of me. My whole body starts shaking with sobs as everything finally catches up to me.
I need to get out of here. I can’t stay here. I run to my closet and reach for my bag to start packing. There is only one person that I need right now. I don’t even bother in folding the cloths I just throw it in the damn bag. “Don’t forget the beers” my mother yells as I walk out the door. I can’t help but to laugh of course that would be her last words to me.