Angel
Present......
I’ve been driving for 6 hours straight none stop. I haven’t even stop to put gas in the car all I care about is putting as much distant as I can between me and them. I wish I could cry but I can’t find it inside me to do so. This is the sort of shit that reminds me that life sucks ass but all you can do is keep going. I can’t let what Manic did to me define who I am going to be and I am sure as hell won’t let what my mom thinks of me hurt me anymore. I’m tired of giving her that power over me. I refuse to be their victim.
I finally arrive to New York at exactly 4 in the morning. I don’t even bother with my stuff I leave it in the car. I won’t need it anyways. Every step I take I feel my chest tighten up. “Who is it?” she asks through the door after the fourth time I knocked. Her voice comes out sleepy. “It’s me” my voice cracks at the end. “Angel?” she asks as she starts to unlock her door. “Oh my God Angel what are you doing here!” she yells with excitement. She wraps me into a hug and for the first time since everything happen I actually feel like crying. I wrap my arms around Hope and I instantly feel safe. I didn’t realize how much I really missed her until now. She is the only person who really loves me and would never do anything to hurt me.
“Come inside” she drags me inside. Her place is dark the only light in here is coming from the street light. She hasn’t seen my face yet but once she does I know she is going to flip. “Let me turn on the lights” she flicks them on and I turn to face the windows “I am so glad you’re here I’ve missed you so much”. I hear her slippers dragging against the floor getting closer to me. “Angel what’s wrong?”.
I take in a deep breath and slowly turn to face her. “Oh My God!” she covers her mouth with her hand to hide her snob. She looks at my face and then her eyes drop to my neck. “Who did this to you? It was him wasn’t it? I’ll fucking kill him” she says with so much anger. Hope never did like Manic she always tried to warn me about him. Tears start building up in the back of my eyes. She is the only one that actually gives a fuck about me but instead of crying I bust out laughing. I have a habit of laughing when something in my life goes to hell.
“What’s so fucking funny?” she hissed as she looks at me like I just lost my mind. Maybe I have. “The fact that you want to go kill a 200 hundred pound monster when you only weight 130” I say with tears in my eyes. At this point I don’t know if I am crying out of sadness or out of humor. All I know is that it feels fucking great to cry. “That’s not fucking funny Angel have you seen your face?” she said enraged. I haven’t seen my face since the last time I saw it in the car but knowing how easily I bruise it must not be pretty. Plus every time I move my jaw to speak I feel a little sting. “What happen?” she ask as sadness clouded her features. “I’ll tell you everything but first I need a shower and something strong”. I need to scrub him off me and if I am going to relive what just happen I am going to need a couple of shots or maybe a whole bottle.
2 years ago….
What the hell just happen? He looks like I just confess to being a man or something like that. “You’re a virgin?” he says with disgust. Since when being a virgin became such a crime? Maybe if I would have told him I had 3 different kind of STD we would be fucking by now. You know what I don't need this if he doesn't want to fuck me because I am a virgin then I’ll just look for another asshole. “You know what forget I’ll just look for someone else” I grab my purse and head for the door. I have to admit deep down I’m disappointed but I won’t let him know that. “Wait what?” he grabs my arm as I walk by him. My body breaks out into goosebumps at his touch. Why the hell does he have that power over me?
“Let go off me” I pull my arm out of his hold and he lets go. Why did he let go? I wanted him to fight for me. “Oh God don’t tell me your 16” he says as he runs his hands threw his copper brown hair. God he is sexy. Stop it! “I don’t think I would have been able to get in the damn club if I was 16!” I yell frustrated. What a fucking asshole I swear Hope was right this was a fucking bad idea. “Let me see your ID” he tries snatching my purse from my hand. I swing it away from him. “Hell no! I am fucking 21” I take a few steps backwards away from him. There is no way I am letting him see my ID. My real name and address is on that. “21 and a virgin? Looking like that?” he point at my outfit as his lips drew back in a snarl. What the hell is wrong with my outfit? I think I looked pretty fucking sexy tonight. Wait, is he insulting me?
“Fuck you, I don’t need this shit” I throw the peace sign in the air and walk towards the door. I don’t need this shit from him I don’t even know him. “Wait,” he runs pass me to stand in front of the door blocking my way out. I look around the house trying to find another way out. “This is the only way out unless you want to climb out the window” he mocks. Right about now that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.
“What do you want?” I cross my arms and stare at him with squint eyes. Hopefully I can make him explode just by wishing it. He runs his hands through his hair. Damn, I wish I can run my hands through his hair. Wait, no I don’t. “Why?”. Is he kidding me? After he made a big deal about me being a virgin he want to know why I am leaving. Something is seriously wrong with him. Plus this is already embarrassing as fuck. “Because everything got fucked up” I answer with defeat. Maybe this was a crazy idea after all. He crocks his eyebrow at me and tilt his head to the side “I mean why lose it like this? Why to a stranger?”.
Wait, what? Why does he care? Just a few minutes ago he was ready to fuck me right on the spot without even asking my name now he wants to get all up and personal with me. “Why do you care?” I hit him back with a why question.
Present…..
“Oh my God Angel,” Hope wraps me up in a hug “You didn’t deserve any of this, this isn’t your fault” she snobs on my shoulder. I stroke her back trying to calm her down even though it should be the other way around. But that’s why I love her because she actually gives a fuck about me. “Later on we can go to the police station and file a report against him so he can never get close to you again” she says with a stuffy nose. I know that there is no point in going to the police station he’ll just get away with it and come after me or those I care for. Which aren’t much but that’s more of a reason to keep them safe. If there is anything the bikers hate more than the feds are snitches.
“Can we just go to bed I am exhausted” I change the subject. I don’t want to argue with her right now. I have no energy in me to fight. She pulls back from me “Sure baby girl lets go to bed”. Hope walks me to her room and tucks me in bed. She climbs in and wraps her arms around me as she strokes my wet hair. It reminds me of when we were roommates in collage. Even though we had our own beds we always use to sleep together in one. “Everything is going to be fine” she whispers as I close my eyes. I know nothing is going to fine. Nothing is ever fine in my world.