Although I was absolutely exhausted and the guilt was unbearable, that latest near miss was extremely exciting, and a great story to tell at dinner parties! On Jake’s next trip to Sydney, where he stayed in my apartment, I had to lie to Ben and tell him I was going away. At the time, I did try to put Jake off staying with me, but after I ran out of excuses, I had to give in to the idea. He stayed for ten days, and once again, I had to lie through my teeth to Ben, telling him I was going on a road trip with Elly. I spent the next ten days going to and from work, to beautiful restaurants and playing tourist in the harbour with Jake, all the time praying and hoping I wouldn’t bump in to Ben or any of his friends or family. The constant worry was a lot less exciting that time, especially when I was actually at work, sitting at my desk, and not on a beach in the glorious sunshine like I had to pretend on the phone to Ben.
On the Friday night, I left work keen to get to the restaurant where I was meeting Jake for dinner. It was a windy day but the sun seemed to just be peeping through the clouds. When I walked out of the hospital where I worked, I heard a familiar voice and my stomach did a backflip. At the coffee shop on the street, Jack and four other Lebanese men that I had never seen before were sitting having coffee. I knew it was Jack as soon I heard his voice but instinctively turned around to look, and my horror was confirmed when I saw him.
However, thankfully and miraculously, Jack’s back was facing me. But my horror was not over as the four other Lebanese men he was with caught me looking at them and all nudging and smiling to each other, thankfully because I was wearing a tight, short black dress not because they knew who I was, pointed over to me. As Jack turned around to see what all the fuss was about I nearly threw up, as my stomach felt like it was literally in my mouth. At that very moment, just as he was moving to turn around, an Ambulance pulled up right in front of me and parked, hiding me from view. I just had time to hastily turn down a side street and headed in the complete opposite direction before it pulled off again. I kept walking as quickly as I could but did not look back. After that, deep down I knew the situation couldn’t continue. After all, I was meant to be on a beach, someone in Australia, in the glorious sunshine with Elly; not at work! ‘Things can’t stay the same. At some point you have to let go and move on.’ — Unknown.