Rain cascades from a dark sky like clear crystal curtain and lands on the wet street pavements with the ease of maple syrup on a pancake. It’s been raining for three hours. Before then the sun had been scorching hot while the atmosphere scented rain.
Like most people I had anticipated the weather but not the length. It’s the first week of November, usually it consisted of hot dry days and mosquitoes infested nights. This year is different. November opened with a series of heavy rains and weather changes.
I turn back to the room stifling a sigh. I don’t want to draw Lawyer’s attention because—well it’s just annoying. Why is he here and not Taylor? But his eyes rise from the file he is discussing with Julian and he looks at me questionably. I just shrug and move from the window as fast as my protruding stomach allows me.
I wish it could stop raining so that I can take my swollen ankles for a little spin. My body aches for movement since all I ever do is sit around because gynecologist Lawyer forgets that I am pregnant not in a wheelchair. I cast him an annoyed look as I make my way to the kitchen rubbing my tummy.
‘Is she always this irritated?’ I hear Julian whisper to Lawyer.
‘It gets worse by the day.’ Lawyer whispers back
‘Taylor owes you for this.’
Lawyer scoffs, ‘watching a child grow is amazing.’
‘ugh don’t start the speech with me—besides you are not watching a baby grow—you are watching Heather grow fat and heavy each day, it’s really cute though.’
Julian doesn’t see me until I walk over to him and smack him at the back of his head.
‘Ow,’ he yelps then turns to give me a grin, ‘what?’
‘If you call me fat again I will hurt you.’
Lawyer laughs, ‘she means it man.’
‘I said you are fat and cute—I mean well.’
Lawyer rolls his eyes and looks at me. ‘You hungry?’
‘I want a walk my legs hurt.’
Julian’s eyes fall to my swollen legs and he breathes out a whistle. I glare at him.
‘I don’t know how you are going to walk on those.’
I give him another smack on the head.
‘Ow what is wrong with you?’
I ignore him and turn to Lawyer, ‘so?’
‘Eat something first.’
‘I am not hungry.’
‘It’s for the baby.’
I place a hand on my stomach, ‘your caring is so touching.’
‘It’s my niece.’
‘It’s a girl?’ Julian raises an eyebrow.
‘Yes,’ Lawyer answers
I smile at the thought. We just went for a scan and found out that I am having a girl. The news helped to lighten my dark world a little. And these two worked their magic to pull me out of my dark depression. It’s been three months since Taylor left. It’s been hard. It still is. If it wasn’t for Lawyer and Julian I wouldn’t have made it.
‘Judith is coming over with Celine in half an hour time.’ Julian tells me.
I beam, ‘really?’
I look at Lawyer who nods in affirmation. I almost jump with excitement but my heavy body won’t allow that one. The mother in me smiles warmly while my other brain companions do happy dances. Mostly because Celine gets to tell me everything that is happening out there. Things that Lawyer and Julian keep from me. Just knowing that Taylor is okay and understanding what he is doing helps me to come out of my depression as well. According to Celine, the clan members now believe that I am with Lawyer, they stopped trying to bait Taylor by using me. They wouldn’t dare touch anything that belongs to Lawyer—he has a reputation which I haven’t figured out. There is just something dark and dangerous about him. Something that he has in common with Taylor.
‘Yes they will be here just right about now.’ Lawyer announces and three seconds later there is a knock at the door. Julian raises an eyebrow at my wide smile and I shrug in return.
‘Guess who’s home!’ Celine announces singsonlgy as she steps into the living room with three shopping bags. Judith follows right behind her with three more.
‘Does she ever come quietly?’ Lawyer mutters to himself while I walk over to them.
‘Don’t you dare try to carry anything, Lawyer get over here?’ Celine yells.
‘Judith here let me help you.’ Julian jumps to his feet and rushes to take the bags from Judith.
‘Thank you.’ Judith smiles at him.
‘With pleasure.’ Julian’s mouth stretches into a slow smile, ‘why don’t you take a seat and relax and I will take care of these.’
‘That little—.’ Lawyer mutters angrily before he stands and with three strides he reaches Julian, ‘give me those.’ He snatches the bags from him and marches towards the kitchen.
Julian purses his lips suppressing a laugh and Celine gapes after him.
‘Let me take those Celine.’ Judith starts coming towards her
‘Don’t you dare—one of these stupid men should help me with my luggage.’ Celine growls.
‘I agree.’ Julian deadpans and takes Judith’s arm, ‘I will have Lawyer pour some drinks.’
Celine gapes at him as he takes Judith to the kitchen.
‘I swear!’ Celine mutters angrily before marching to the kitchen with her bags. I start to snicker, shaking my head as their voices bounces back and forth in the kitchen while Celine is giving them her piece of mind.
The days have been weird. Or almost unbelievably rushing by while I try not to get swallowed by the gaping hole within me. Or the spectacle that my life has turned out to be. But it’s never boring with these guys around. Really.
I make my way to the nearest couch and a grateful sigh escapes me as I position my body between two pillows. Outside, the rain has stopped and that sweet rain scented sunlight has just chased the darkness away. I long to be outside right now. Outside walks help me stop thinking.
It’s the only time that my mind is not going through the paraphernalia of my screwed up life trying to figure out how I ended up here. With people I barely know as my only family. With a child on the way and I have no idea how to rescue them from this life I have mindlessly jumped into.
Those kind of thoughts about how mad I was when Taylor decided to leave me just like that. At first it was grief, then it was anger. Now I just can’t believe it. We had started building our lives together and he suddenly decided to do the other part on his own. It is a world full of danger and cruelty but I can’t help feel that he used me as an excuse to give in to what he has been fighting so long within him.
My thoughts are deep and lead to deeper ones. That’s why I need to stop thinking.
‘Here you go.’ Celine emerges from the kitchen with a glass of juice and sits next to me on the couch. She puts the juice on the coffee table before folding her hands on her lap and facing me.
The woman is always so well put together and not a hair out of place. I used to think she was a perfectionist before I knew her story. It’s her outside shell.
‘How are we these days?’
My lips curve into a small smile, ‘better than most days.’ I gesture at my swollen ankles
‘Yeek—you need to stretch those limps.’
‘I have been trying to negotiate with the boys.’
Celine rolls her eyes, ‘what do they know? Those annoying little brats.’
I glance towards the kitchen where I can hear their three voices, clearly squabbling like always.
‘Don’t worry—Julian keeps an eye on Lawyer. Judith will be fine, let’s go for a walk.’
I glance at the kitchen again as Celine holds my arm, helping me up, ‘shouldn’t we tell them?’
Celine shrugs, ‘we are just in the premises—lets go to the small garden by the gate.’
I nod and within minutes we are outside. Everything looks fresh and lively with the combination of rain, sunlight and mud.
‘They are contract signing today.’ Celine says, her eyes forward. That tells me it’s really bad.
‘It’s over?’ I scowl. Because I want it over. I had long given up the doing-what’s-right team to just wanting Taylor back. Because that’s what he said— not in words. But if he just gives them what they want. I had thought a lot about this. We could leave the country and live far from them.
‘They are finalizing the deal today.’ Celine sighs,
Silence falls for a moment as I get what Celine is not saying.
‘It’s never going to end.’ I swallow the dark feeling that creeps up within me, ‘they will want more won’t they?’
‘Gluttony.’ Celine agrees, ‘he will never let Taylor go—the man is obsessed with his son.’ She turns to face me, ‘Taylor is making this choice.’
I give her a strange look because somehow I have a feeling this is the part that she tells me to run. I know that look too well.
‘I am not going anywhere.’
Celine raises an eyebrow, ‘I have been updating you on this for months now Heather—I tried to tell you how this will turn out in many different ways and not have to say it directly.’
I let out a shaky breath, ‘then say it.’ I whisper, ‘what makes you think that I can’t take the truth?’
Celine shakes her head, ‘you may think that you do and some time you are going to convince yourself that you are too cowardly to not fight... Listen Heather, that’s exactly how I ended up here—a puppet.’
I drag in a long breath and wet my dry lips, ‘tell me Celine.’
She gives me a long look before she nods, ‘alright—Taylor is not coming back. In more detail—Mr. Abiwu is not letting him go. Taylor made the choice… I knew he would come to this, the little nut head never listens, stubborn as his father…’ she pauses when she sees tears in my eyes, ‘oh no don’t you become that person Heather. Once you start crying, you will carry on in tears for long.’
‘When did you become the philosopher?’ my voice is raw.
Her eyes settles on my protruding stomach, ‘think about what is best for the innocent child within you Heather.’
That’s all I ever think about.
‘You can’t shed tears now, you need to swallow them and think clearly.’
I look at her; confused, this is another side of Celine I haven’t seen before. The woman has multiple personalities and it just explains how screwed up I am to be relying on her so much now. Believing everything she says. I must be insane.
‘Look around you—does it feel like a passing dream or can you live that way forever?’
I scowl at her. What is she talking about now? Since when did quack woman start using riddles?
I close my eyes to calm my racing heart. I knew already didn’t I? Maybe—but I liked to hope against hope. When he walked out that door months ago—it didn’t feel like a forever goodbye.
How did we come from a dream wedding full of promises to this day that feels like all that had been a little fantasy I had and now I have woken up from it?
We don’t say any word to each other on the way back to Lawyer’s apartment. I have a feeling Celine isn’t telling me something that she is indirectly telling me. But I am done trying to figure out quack woman, my head aches.
Besides, I pretty much still have no graphic clear idea what the hell is going on. I mean of course I could always try to find out the details the Jonny English way because that’s how I would end up doing things anyway—clumsy and messy and well just pure luck. Okay respect for the legends.
In other words, this is me right here. I am terrified of knowing what all this is about. I like living in oblivion because that’s how I turned out to be when I got screwed over by life. Maybe it’s an excuse but I can smooth that one over by saying no one is perfect.