I think Celine and Judith are waiting for me to speak first. Only the problem is that I launch silent mode when I am overwhelmed or upset. My brain companions need to sit for a meeting and reach a decision before my mouth announces it.
Well I can’t control everyone’s life, my sense says, logic agrees and reminds me that I am not successful when it comes to running life anyway I may as well have given up the dream.
But would she have stayed clear of him if I had told her the truth? Emotion and heart wonder. I don’t think so. Wild nods thoughtfully, like every other twisted fate of my life lately wouldn’t have avoided becoming the third party to the sudden addition of the x-men team.
Because hey, the three looked ready to jump for one another back there when Malcom was firing bullets. The man is always so laid back and kind every time I meet him I never knew his dark side was this overpowering. He could be in the same league with Lawyer or even Charlie—maybe even Alex.
Don’t go there. The last thing I need right now is to think about that psycho. Because I have a feeling I will be seeing that psycho soon enough. Mr. Abiwu would be very pleased to learn that two people from the church he always kept a false holy appearance have found out who he is. Yeah it’s getting exciting.
‘She is on over drive.’ Judith tells Celine who nods silently, ‘I didn’t intent for her to find out this way.’
‘Me neither.’ Celine says
‘I didn’t think Malcom would really dig around.’
Celine scoffs, ‘dig in what? Somebody probably told him. It was bound to happen seeing how you and Lawyer never kept your relationship secret.’
‘I think Heather can argue with that.’
‘Few people are like Heather. She practically switches off everything else when she is dealing with a huge thing—it’s a rare talent—that always lends her in the gutter.’
‘I am right here.’ I mumble managing to lift my eyes to look at her but do not have enough energy to glare.
‘Oh you are back—so what’s the verdict?’
Judith glares at her for me, ‘this is not funny Celine.’
‘Hey I didn’t do anything wrong here—I merely always try to keep people like you and Heather away from these men but lately I haven’t been successful.’
I shake my head to clear the fog forming in my mind, ‘listen you two—I don’t want any jokes I want the whole story and I want it now.’ I stare at them and they shift nervously.
‘Taylor has rubbed off on her,’ Celine mutters. I glare at her and she clamps her mouth shut before she flashes me a cheeky smile.
‘Well to cut a long story short—I started seeing Lawyer after that dinner.’ Judith shares calmly, ‘I am not going to offer the reasons and I am not adding anything else to the story.’
I lick my dry lips, ‘so he told you everything?’
Judith nods ‘he had to—two men came to harass me at my work place.’
I scowl at her. Did that make any sense?
Celine decides to elaborate for me, ‘Charlie and Luther wanted to assassinate Judith at her work place. Well naturally she didn’t think they would pull out guns on her.’
‘Real guns.’ Judith adds
‘Because she had seen them at the wedding and they were relatives of Lawyer’s – its every girl’s dream to be accepted by the family of the guy you love.’ Celine says with a laugh in her voice.
‘Alright.’ I say swallowing the lump in my throat, ‘so what’s the status at the moment?’
Celine looks at Judith who shakes her head, ‘you tell her.’
‘I am not the one dating Lawyer—who according to the clans out there is Heather’s husband.’
‘No he is not.’ I state firmly, ‘Judith—I had a serious talk with Lawyer to leave you alone.’
Celine laughs and Judith looks embarrassed, ‘it was the other way round actually.’ She mumbles.
I put my head into my hands. I think I have a headache or brain ache—what’s the difference?
I have nothing to lose. My family were already part of the train of doom. I have no other relatives and the only person I am determined to protect is my baby who at the moment is reminding me that we have to eat. Judith has her whole family to worry about. I don’t think she fully understands what she has gotten herself into, and if the great uncles are involved it proves the situation worse than it seems. Where there are the great uncles, there is Mr. Abiwu.
I don’t need to say anything else.
I slowly stand up. None of them move to help me because I cast them death glares and froze them in place. It’s been hard to just move around lately. My back aches, some nights I barely sleep and don’t get me started on the trips to the bathroom. It’s like it waits until night for my bladder to start releasing everything.
I shuffle my way towards the kitchen where a lunch that was underway was left half way after Malcom stormed in with his accusations. I wonder what they are doing to him in there—beating him up. I shiver, okay, those two were a part of the throng but they are never eagerly violent like that loon who tried to shoot at me.
Or the one that held a knife to my throat. That day flashes in my mind. I shake my head. I start making a sandwich while pushing the thought of Taylor aside. I mean I still ask myself what happened. One moment we were trying to share living space with Lawyer and before I know it I am being dragged to Lawyer’s house under threats. Yeah it wasn’t easy to bring me here. I am only here because I dare not try to outrun any of those guys with this large stomach.
I will just have a sandwich. I put the last slice of bread on top of the sandwich hill and press it down because it feels good. A silly smile curves on my face as I literally tackle the sandwich to the chopping board.
My eyes fall on the wedding band on my finger, quickly erasing the smile on my face. When this feeling comes upon me I am only ever able to mutter ‘damn you Taylor!’ And I close my eyes, take a deep breath to put a lid on something dark deeply wedged inside my heart that could never be erased. I think.
Why couldn’t he be here like we had planned? Or maybe like I had planned because it seems to me that we didn’t have the same plans at all. How long had he been planning to vanish and leave me with his cousin and his other quack woman cousin who I have hired as my informant? Celine still doesn’t want to show me pictures. I just always have to rely on the words that come out of her mouth. I must be desperate. I realise as I put a little more pressure on the sandwich.
‘He cares Heather!’
Lawyer’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I realise that my eyes were stinging with unshed tears. I blink them away and I stand up straight, releasing the sandwich from the confinements of my palms. It puffs up a little like its taking a deep breath the same moment I turn to lock my eyes with him.
‘I hope you know that in the deepest part of your heart.’ He looks sincere. It’s the first time Lawyer openly talks about Taylor since he left. Lawyer is always avoiding the topic. I know it’s because he is afraid to let something slip. He hasn’t figured out that Celine is my spy. Two can play at this game.
‘Cut it out Lawyer.’ I glare at him clenching my fists.
His lips twitches a little. Is he finding my ire amusing? ‘Okay.’ He mutters.
‘What the hell did you do?’
He actually smiles and sinks his hands into his pockets, ‘I am not going to apologize for Judith.’
Oh wow, that’s just--- wow--- I am literally imagining this is a Korean drama scenario. When you are so shocked and annoyed at the same time because you are dealing with cocky ajhussis
‘Have you thought of the danger you have put her in?’
He nods, ‘I regret that she got exposed to all this mess.’
‘You don’t look regretful to me.’
‘I am not good with that.’
‘I am beginning to think you are not very good with common sense Lawyer.’
Silence falls for a moment, as we share challenging gazes.
‘You know what I told Taylor when he came with the whole I love her I can’t leave her alone story?—I told him the same thing. All he had to do was do all he can to never see you again—and days later I hear that he is married.’
I shake my head, ‘this isn’t about Taylor—this is about you. This is about my friend who you are dragging into this mess. It’s about her family being exposed to the crazy great uncles and all other lunatics out there who think they run the world.’
‘I am capable of protecting Judith.’
Yes I’ve heard all that before and more.
I glare at him some more before I push my big self away from the counter to leave the kitchen. Lawyer takes a hold of my hand. ‘You haven’t eaten.’
I yank my hand from him, ‘don’t touch me.’
Instead of letting go of me. He takes my other arm and makes me to face him, ‘I am to take care of you and that’s what I am doing. You need to eat.’
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I have been doing that a lot lately, this little person within me must have one hell of self-restraint. Wish I could say just like me but oh well—can’t have everything I suppose.
‘Fine.’ I open my eyes and return to my sandwich. I press it down again, punishing it for Lawyer’s sins before I sit on the stool and lift it to my mouth. If I start eating he can leave the room.
He looks at me for a few long infuriating minutes, or rather tempting minutes—the mayonnaise and tomato sauce, which one hurts much? My fingers twitch to throw something at him if he doesn’t get his eyes off me in the next mini-seconds.
He finally moves to the fridge and I am praying that he isn’t taking a snack to sit here with me and try to reason with me right now. It’s literally a death wish. I take a bite of my sandwich, not even tasting it and he comes to place a glass of juice beside me.
He plants a hand on the counter surface before leaning close to my ear, his breath tickling my neck he says, ‘I know you don’t like sharing—but what am I to do when your husband comes back?’
Ok that’s it! I turn on him the same time Celine walks into the kitchen, ‘Law, Julian needs you and get away from her.’
He flashes a small smile at me before straightening up and striding out of the kitchen.
‘Leave too.’ I say before Celine opens her mouth to say anything else.
‘Is there an expiry date for this stalemate?’ she asks.
‘No, but I order you to come pick me up tomorrow I don’t want to have to go with either one of the men to the hospital.’
‘Okay.’ Celine flashes an uneasy smile, ‘I hope you blow your steams all night about this and we can talk more about it in the morning.’
I lift my eyes to glare at her. She clamps her mouth shut and turns to leave the same moment Judith shows up at the door.
‘Bye Judith.’ I say and they both turn back and walk out. I slowly take another bite of my sandwich in the now silent kitchen.