“Talk to the chef about raw food. I need a consultation with this guy.” She waved a finger at the magazine. “I would like to try it.” She smiled to herself. “Let me know when to expect the call. I will take my swim now.”
Tatania’s PA picked up the magazine. “Ooh he is cute!”
“Isn’t he? Find out everything you can about him. I don’t want any surprises. Oh, and I would quite like to know what that thing is behind him. Can you locate that for me too? Join me for dinner and let me know what you have. We shall eat raw this evening!”
“Sure!” The PA scuttled off to the kitchens, where she found Tatania’s chef lurking at the back door, smoking a long hand-rolled cigarette. “Enrique, Tatania would like to try raw cuisine this evening? Can you do that?”
Enrique’s heart sank. How terribly dull, he thought. Endless salads, no doubt. He would have to look online to see what could be done. “Yes, of course. I will take a look. Dinner will be at eight, however, I am not a magician.” He stubbed out the cigarette on the wall and washed his hands before making a dive towards his computer. Enrique was well used to odd demands from his mistress, but this one might demand new ingredients, new skills, new equipment. The first thing he spotted was the low temperatures. He checked his top of the range oven to see if the temperature would go down sufficiently far. Just, and he would probably have to keep the door open.
After twenty minutes of looking, he had a list of ingredients for this evenings taster feast for the two women and the staff, and he had his assistant head out in the house car to pick them up. Goji berries, raw chocolate, fresh coconuts, something called maca that he had never heard of. Hempseeds, spirulina, raw flax seeds, apple cider vinegar. He sighed as he put some raw almonds he had already in to soak in spring water. If they hurried he might just make it.
He decided to make vegetable towers and a spiced mayonnaise for their starter, a tossed salad of greens with cucumber, avocado and sweet chilli for a main and the infamous goji, cacao and coconut mousse to finish. She would be delighted with that, surely. A bit rich and fatty for every day, he thought, but hopefully she would only want this once. The last thing he wanted was to stop cooking, he thought, as he zested some limes for the towers. He pulped his vegetables, garlic, ginger and wasabi along with the soaked almonds and put them into the cool oven to dry out as much as possible in the time he had. Hopefully the fan would help, he thought. In the absence of a dehydrator and without being able to turn the temperature up, 6 hours was not a lot to dry out his tiny creations.
To Enrique’s surprise, Tatania wandered in after her swim. My, she was keen. This was most unusual.
“I would like to try this for a few days, Enrique. Find out everything you can.”
“Madam.”
“The kitchen is nice and cool, you must be enjoying it.”
“Oh yes.” Enrique gritted his teeth. If it kept her out of his way, he would enjoy it a whole lot more.
By the time the assistant returned with Enrique’s initial list, he had made another, and instructed the assistant to make a long list of purchases online. A lot of these recipes, he realised, had been created purely to sell products, but if Tatania was to be kept in the style to which she was accustomed, her diet would have to be prepared to death. A green salad simply wouldn’t cut it, and Enrique had been on the receiving end of a thrown plate of food more than once. The average raw foodist might be content with a smoothie and green salad, but not Tatania. Her tastebuds had to be tickled at every meal. Although he did not approve at all, particularly of the possibility of having to prepare vegan meals every day, he certainly was impressed to be learning skills he could incorporate into his career. One for the resume, even. Enrique longed to have the magic quantity of dollars required to leave, but it was never quite enough to fulfil his dream of a celebrity restaurant.
“Don’t forget the liquidiser, it seems to be the most important thing.” He continued to chop and deseed a variety of vegetables for his salad, throwing the seeds in the open oven alongside the towers on a baking sheet. A meal fit for Queen Tatania.
Sam supposed he should really call Aldous to thank him for the appointment, especially since his speaking engagements had now doubled thanks to the exposure in a variety of glossy magazines. Journalists now regularly attempted contact and he had had to ensure that Annette did not repeat her formerly disparaging behaviour with strangers trying to make contact with his office.
He did not consider that it would be worth apologising to Kira. She was merely another in a long line of stupid stubborn bitches who would not take no for an answer, he reasoned, and now that she was well off, even more worthy of contempt than before. Why couldn’t she just smile or say something nice occasionally? Who did she think she was exactly?
Satisfied that both his conscious and subconscious assumptions were entirely correct, he put in a call to Aldous, who was spending his morning surveying the media containing references to Raw Sex Object on Kira’s behalf.
“Aldous, Sam Redwood here.”
“Good morning, one moment, I will take the call in the other room.” Aldous took the cordless phone out of Kira’s bedroom office, away from the unsuspecting Kira, hard at work on her next collection of somewhat brightly coloured wearable artworks. Aldous was always mystified by her work, it just seemed to grow on its own, with no planning or thought from Kira whatsoever. Sam appeared to be very loud in Kira’s fevered brain in comparison with her previous work.
“What can I do for you Sam?”
“It’s just a courtesy call really Aldous. I just wanted to thank you for the gig. I ‘ve had a lot of exposure I wouldn’t have had otherwise.” Sam slowed his speech to a crawl to hide any trace of nervousness.
“It’s not really me you should thank, Sam. I don’t pay the bills. I’m just looking through some of the articles just now, in fact. You might be interested to learn that Raw Sex Object is now attracting six figure offers.” Aldous, depressed as usual, did not feel in the slightest bit phased by his apparent brush with fame. Six figures were no longer all that impressive, since he was dealing with the daily figures from the business, but as he was talking to an American, he felt that mentioning money was appropriate.
“Great news, Aldous. Great news. If anything else comes up, I’m sure I can oblige. Just get in touch in the usual way, won’t you?” Sam practised an urbane, assured manner as he tried to edge onto safer ground with Aldous.
“I’m pretty sure it won’t, unless Kira changes her mind.” Aldous did not sound as if he was smiling.
“Was she mad at you?” Sam frowned.
“Worse. She hasn’t once brought it up.” Aldous had known Kira for a long time. Pauses were usually extremely pregnant in the course of their many strands of conversation. “She is waiting to flay me later.”
“Aww I’m sorry Aldous.”
“Would you like to speak to her? I’m sure she would appreciate cheering up.” Aldous reasoned that the sooner the Kira-storm broke, the better.
“No, no I better go. It’s getting kinda near lunch. Thanks again Aldous.” Sam backed off hastily.
“Ok. Goodbye Sam.” What a creep, thought Aldous. No manners at all. Touting for business using a courtesy call without a trace of courtesy. Typical Yank. He ended the call and returned to Kira, who was frantically punching at a steampunk sculpture with her delighted cats clinging to the huge wool bobbins, kicking furiously as they rolled across the floor.
“Would you like some tea, Aldous?” She looked up. “I’ll be finished in a moment?”
“That’s what I’m supposed to be here for.”
“I need to be upright for a bit. Anyone interesting on the phone?” Kira hid her needle under a pillow with a brick on top to prevent the now hysterical cats from running off with it. Aldous had always wondered what it was doing on the bed.
“Not really no. Bit of a timewaster. Yes, I’ll have the tea.”
When Kira returned with the tea , Aldous tried to break the stalemate.
“What did you think of him, when you met him?”
“I didn’t think anything. He was paid to be there. That is all.” Kira sounded less tense than Aldous had anticipated.
“Do you not think persisting with the Raw Scandal collection is a bit superfluous now? You got what you wanted for him.” Since Sam was now moving in more exalted media circles, which Sam would undoubtedly be perfectly happy with, Aldous imagined that Kira’s work was done. She was making herself ill working on the collections, in typical Kira style, night and day.
“We are on target, beyond it even, but I need to consolidate the position before I move on. It won’t be long now, don’t worry Aldous.”
“He’s never going to grow into the person you want him to be, Kira.”
“As Aristotle said, to acquire a virtue, one must first pretend to have it. This is merely a rehearsal, Aldous. We have more important work to do later.”
“But Kira, if he doesn’t understand, surely it’s a waste of your time? It’s not like he would ever admit you did anything anyway. He’s just an opportunist famewhore. He’ll just drift from person to person getting stuff from them. You could never trust him.”
Kira looked up from her artwork and her tea, slightly bemused by the sudden fury of Aldous. “Don’t worry about it Aldous. I’m remarkably efficient. When the time is right to move onto the next task, I’ll move on.” It was rare that Aldous expressed any caring at all in regard to Kira. She appreciated it. “In the meantime, we still have a lot of work to do. We’ve had one lucky break, is all, and that’s really thanks to you. As for the rest, if he gets an opportunity he has to take it. It’s all good. For what it’s worth I think Sam is a lot more innocent than people seem to think he is, he doesn’t realise how it comes across. He thinks he is being motivational and go-ahead, and we interpret it as blood sucking. Either that, or he is jaded and needs a bit of cossetting anyway. I don’t think I want to know which.”
“For such a cynical person, you’re a sucker, Kira. He won’t lift a finger for you. Ever. You could move mountains and he would still sneer at it, or use it as evidence of HIS enormous talent.” Aldous sniffed.
“Welcome to the family Sam, you’ll fit right in.” Kira arms outstretched, made her ‘Liberace’ face and laughed. Aldous smiled despite himself and finished his tea, wiping away a stray tear on Kira’s behalf that he did not want her to see.
Tatania replaced the receiver and turned to her hapless PA. “Sam will be coming to dinner on Friday, let the chef know, will you? Has my box set of Raw Scandal arrived yet?”
“I’ll just go and check for you.” Harriet, the PA, lifted Tatania’s empty glass on the way to the kitchen. Enrique was busy blending vegetable juices to get just the right flavour combination for his dedicated mistress. “Enrique, her glass is empty again. Sorry.”
“It’s OK, here you are.” He handed over a fresh iced glass of spinach and apple juice. “She’s looking good on it though, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, I guess. Can I have whatever you’re eating for lunch? That Redwood guy is coming on Friday.” Harriet had very quickly become dissatisfied with her lighter raw food life, unlike her super focussed boss, who was enjoying a newfound glow.
Harriet made her way to the hall, and found the parcel of books waiting. Not satisfied with ebooks, Tatania had purchased paperbacks of Kira’s books, to be displayed in the dining room during Sam’s visit. Whether she would actually read them was another matter. Harriet picked up the parcel, along with a hemp dress that Tatania had purchased, and made her way to the dining room to place Raw Scandal 2-6 on the sideboard next to David’s taxidermy collection. Reflecting that taxidermy and veganism probably didn’t mix, she wondered whether she ought to mention it? Harriet shrugged and took Raw Scandal 1 and the expensive hemp dress back to the poolside to join Tatania.
Sam was overjoyed when he got the news of his dinner date. “You didn’t charge a fee, Annette? Tell me you didn’t?”
“Expenses only. Someone has to look after your interests, Sam.” Annette sniffed. A name like Tatania Harris was a major threat, but there was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing to worry about the other groupies, but a big name like that would be nectar to Sam.
“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she? I better watch some of her movies before I go.” Sam was as excited as a small child, eyes wide and shiny. “What should I wear?”
“Wear that cobalt blue shirt with the high collar. And the medallion. That’s always a winner.” Annette suppressed a mean smile.
“I should get my hair done.” Sam looked in the mirror. “She deserves a good first impression, doesn’t she?”
“Sure. Maybe you could put a tint in it or something. All the ladies love tinted hair.” Annette was close to sniggering but she managed to maintain a deadpan expression. She wasn’t going down without a fight, even if she was significantly outgunned by Tatania Harris. “You could do with a nice thick gold chain on your wrist to go with the medallion. And maybe a nice big chunky ring on your right hand.”
“Ok I better go get sorted out! Thanks Annette!” Sam, wide eyed and only a little over-excited bounded out of the agent’s office and off to find his organic hairdresser.
Tatania decided to entertain her guest in the Summer Pagoda, rather than engage a team to remove the extensive collection of taxidermy from the large dining room. Friday was spent decorating the garden with citronella torches and Chinese lanterns. As far as she had been able to investigate, Sam was not a drinker, although rumour had it he dabbled with the occasional herbal high. She had tested a few in the course of the week but had been left unimpressed. She was, however, delighted with the high end hemp dress, and tucked a large flower under her left ear, admiring her newly clear skin and more delicate figure in the mirror.
Tatania usually spent at least five hours of her day in her gym and the pool with one of the trainers, but her new diet had reduced her need and interest in this sufficiently for her to have read all of Kira’s books. That woman seemed crazy, Tatania thought, spending her time bashing out books about Sam. What was she doing it for? Sometimes she seemed blindly besotted, other passages revealed a sharp observation bereft of anything resembling sympathy. Very clever, she supposed, but what was she trying to achieve? Men liked to be worshipped, everyone knew that, didn’t they? As for her self-parodies, Tatania was unsure whether this woman understood that the image she portrayed of herself was inconsistent, made you feel unsafe. One minute she was a psychotically strong and rather cynical woman, the next, a quivering wreck that seemed to shrivel at the mere mention of Sam’s name. Surely this Kira female realised that all she really had to do was conform to the thin raw ideal and turn up with a few compliments, not waste all this time writing free books and torturing herself? The Sheep in Wolf’s clothing artwork, in honour of Sam, was quite interesting, but again what a timewaster? What was the point in hand embroidery in this day and age? And what sort of a medium was wool? Wool for a vegan? Tatania resolved to ask Sam what he thought of it. She couldn’t understand it at all. Why would anyone do all this work with no hope of a return on the time investment? And in such an inefficient way? Some of the books indicated she was a carer. Why try to do anything when she would not be able to capitalise even on the exposure? And when she didn’t appear to even want to?
Noting the time on the clock, Tatania carefully used coconut oil to even out her skin, put a shine on her lips and a light dusting of sun shimmer powder on her cheeks. Pretty as a picture, she thought, as she looked at her svelte figure in the hip-hugging hemp dress. She plumped up her breasts a bit and slipped her feet into an unconventionally comfortable pair of flat shoes to match. She had swithered over whether to greet him from the pool, perhaps swimming naked in her diamond necklace, and had decided that the chlorine might put him off. Instead she drifted down the carefully maintained archway of hibiscus to her pagoda, leaving Harriet to answer the pinging intercom on the front gate, sounded by a rather anxious Sam.
“Hi. I hope you had a good journey to get here?” Harriet battered her eyelashes at Sam, who was holding his neck ramrod straight and doing his best to stare into the middle distance as per Kira’s instructions at the photoshoot. He was very nervous.
“Yes sure, it was fine. Is the car OK there?” He gestured vaguely at the rental car he had left strewn across the driveway.
“If you give me the keys I will park it for you. Come on out to the garden, Tatania is waiting in the Pagoda.”
“Sure.” Sam allowed Harriet to lead him down the hibiscus path to the carefully lit pagoda. Sam had expected the place to be amazing, but even he was rendered speechless by the opulence. The smell of the citronella was vaguely stimulating. Even at that, he was unprepared for the vision of loveliness that was Tatania in her equivalent of a natural look. She led him to a well upholstered bamboo futon.
“I thought we could sit here.” Tatania had prepared the lighting to be most flattering on her side, naturally. She peered at him. He was more carefully managed than she had expected, in terms of his appearance, and seemed very uncomfortable. “Tell me about yourself.” Tatania purred, tilting her head to one side.
Sam swallowed. Tatania was amazing. Totally amazing. More amazing even, than she had been in the 6 year old film of hers he had sat through the night before when preparing for the visit. “I didn’t expect to talk about me.” He leaned forward and made eye contact, to express his ardent fascination. “I love your movies.”
“Thank you, I love your health books.” Tatania fluttered. “We have a meal prepared for you. Would you like to eat just now? Or some juice? The chef is very good.” She picked up the intercom and ordered without awaiting his answer. The sooner he was at ease the better, she thought. She flicked a wave of hair behind her shoulder, a gesture she regarded as youthful and carefree, and moved slightly closer. “You can tell me what you think of our cuisine.”
“Do you have a bathroom out here?” Sam felt he had better slow proceedings down a bit. He took his time in the bathroom, making entirely sure he was more relaxed before rejoining the ultimate in dinner companions.
Aldous was surprised to find himself included in Sam’s mass text the following morning. His heart sank when he saw the message. No need to tell Kira, he thought, unless Sam made it to an actual event with Tatania. He was quite sure Kira would explode on a nuclear scale when she heard about this. He busied himself dealing with the day to day of the business and attending to Kira’s absent minded questions, and thanked his lucky stars that he was no longer expected to mix cement for the ceramics on a daily basis.
A few days later, the story broke and Aldous was forced to present the issue to Kira, who was hard at work stitching a seedpod for a ludicrous bouquet hat she was making. To his surprise, she was not at all worried.
“Aldous, when it is right, it’s right, and when it isn’t, it isn’t. I’m sure Sam will do fine.”
“What on earth?”
“Let go of your preconceptions. Not everyone has to sit miserably in a room together forever?”
“Isn’t the whole point to sit happily in a room together?”