CHAPTER 15
Liam lies down by my side and covers us both with the duvet. I dare not question him, for I don't want him to alter his mind. I ultimately love this gesture, my subconscious nodding in agreement.
"Lights off, please." Liam points at the bedside lamp.
"Okay." I hurry to comply, stupidly indulged into this new bliss. Okay or not, just this once I'm refusing to think of anything else but this moment.
Liam holds me gently and I feel his warmth that makes me smile sheepishly. So this is what it feels like to have someone by your side, huh? What a feel!
"I said to sleep, Ms. Jones," Liam urges, dissolving me from my sweet reverie.
"Yes, Mr. Darcy," I reply with rolled-eyes.
How grumpy can he get?
I don't mind, however, I just can't help but wonder about his personality at times. We stay in silence, and I can't say I'm sleepy at all.
This is so new to me.
"Your body feels warm," I think out loud, some minutes later, hoping he's fast asleep.
But hell no.
"And so does yours," he answers, his voice hoarse and soothing. He plants a brisk kiss on top of my head. "You're perfect," he adds.
"Oh my." I bite my lip, my heart fluttered.
Silence stretches between us in a fleeting moment.
"It may sound very pathetic," Liam starts, making me frown attentively, "what I'm about to ask you." He glances down at me through the pair of his blue orbs piercing through the darkness.
"Um, why don't you go ahead and be pathetic a little?" I remark, and a little laugh from him draws my lips into a sweet smile. "I mean, it's human to be pathetic sometimes so go on and ask me."
Oh, my curiosity knows no bounds.
Liam chuckles lightly. "You're something else, Ms. Jones," he says with a sigh. My smile broadens. "Well, do you have a boyfriend?" he finally asks, and I nearly laugh aloud.
Seriously, Mr. Darcy?
"If I had one," I answer haltingly while rolling myself so that I face him, "I wouldn't be in your arms right now because I don't believe I'm that type of a woman."
Despite all my other flaws and sort of betrayals, I mutter inwardly. I can almost picture that rare smile on his face.
"Neither am I that type of a man," he gives me this little remark that takes my breath away.
"What type of a man are you, Mr. Darcy? Can you tell me?" I ask after a short pause, running my fingers smoothly on his perfect chest.
Man, he's the modern Zeus.
"I'm a little complicated of a man," he says in a low tone of voice, his one hand toying with my curls, gliding gently with his strong, manly fingers. "But very direct, and I always know what I want."
That's so evident, darling.
"Is that some kind of a message for me?" I ask casually, playful even.
"It is," he answers.
"So, you want me?"
"I need you."
"Oh." My heart back-flips. "How?"
"It just feels right."
"Oh . . . God."
"Are you gasping right now?" he asks in a giggle, and I bury my face on the chest of his, laughing.
"No, I'm enjoying the moment," I say frankly. Smiling, he tightens his embrace and it's ethereal.
Another silence follows, feeling each other's breath. Could anything else feel this good? Well . . . maybe. There is still a lot to discover.
"What are you thinking of?" Liam croaks his voice a bit groggy, sexy, unleashing unbidden desires from my cooled body. "Because you think a lot, Ms. Jones."
"Maybe something weird," I confess.
"Weird? How weird?"
"Utterly weird, but not really weird."
"Now you are weird." He laughs a bit, and I do the same, just momentarily.
"It's crazy how you meet someone new, someone you totally know nothing about, and yet you feel like you know everything about them. You feel connected to them as though you're a part of them," I say in a smooth whisper, feeling Liam's heart beating softly against his chest.
Am I even making sense? Well, it's how I feel anyway.
"What if you are the other half of them?" Liam asks, lifting his head to meet my face. He then smiles at my befuddled look. "They say nothing happens by chance, don't they?"
I know, but . . . well, I don't know.
"Listen," I breathe, trying to prove my point. "I'm talking about something serious, I'm not kidding."
"Oh? Wait, do you feel that way about someone?" He looks bemused, or amused, I can't tell. "Who is it?"
"You," I answer.
"Me?"
"Us. Being with you feels like deja vu."
"Huh?"
"Nothing." I smile, for I'm afraid he may start thinking I'm crazy. "Can we kiss, Mr. Darcy." I change the topic, teasing him.
"Ms. Jones," Liam utters calmly after a blink. "If we go on that road I may lose my gentleman title."
"Your what?" I laugh hard, utterly entranced by his dry humor. He laughs along, looking at ease. "Just a goodnight kiss, please." My voice is imploring, and so is my sex goddess, who’s currently feeling shortchanged.
Liam sighs heavily. I purse my lips. Does he find it that hard? Or playing hard to get?
"I can try to make an exception," he says with a big smile filled with mischief. Man!
"You're so full of yourself," I mutter.
"I guess I am. But believe me, I never intend it to be that way," Liam enunciates, and it kind of makes me feel bad from the way he lets it out. "It's quite easy for someone to misjudge the one they don't really know, so I've come to accept it as my flaw."
Oh no.
"I've never really thought you that way," I tell him truthfully.
He's complex, yes, but it never occurred to me that he's obnoxious or anything similar.
"Maybe I felt you'd understand me," Liam interrupts my thoughts, "from the very first time I saw you."
"Huh?"
"Let's have that goodnight kiss and sleep now, Ms. Jones." He now changes the music. "And I promise you are going to sleep well tonight."
"Oh, yeah?" I chuckle with much delight, wishing every night would be like this. What a dream. "What a confidence you have, huh?" I add, neglecting my wishful wish.
"I can feel it."
"Good, come here." I crash his peach lips like I've never tasted them before, kissing him like tomorrow may not come.
Sun rays pierce viciously through the window, making my eyes squint despite my lazy slumber. Is it morning already? I frown begrudgingly, coming to terms with the reality.
I can feel, from somewhere deep in my imagination, that someone is stretching the window curtains apart. Is it Liam? Wait, Liam? A sudden apprehension snaps me.
I slept with him, didn't I?
"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Sam's voice regards me. I turn fully awake in an instant, my head mindful of last night.
"Sam?" I utter, shocked to see her, my gaze scanning the room for something only God, Myself, and I know.
Yes, I indeed slept with Liam. I wonder when he left my room.
"What did you do last night, Kiki?" Sam asks me as she scurries over. My eyes widen at her detective look, suspicion painted all over her face.
Panic swallows my demeanor, my heart pounding heavily.
"What do you mean?" I utter, staring firmly at her. Does she know something? It suddenly jumps in my mind.
Casually, Sam sits down next to me. "I mean, how on Earth did you oversleep? Do you know it's almost twelve in the afternoon? I've never seen you sleep like this. Are you okay?" She touches my forehead.
A soft sigh of relief escapes my lungs at the sound of her words.
"Of course I'm okay." I remove her hand and quickly get myself away from the bed. "I just slept well, I guess, because I was kind of tired." I slip my feet breezily into slippers so I jog to the bathroom.
"Really? Well, that's good," Sam answers with a sigh. She makes herself more comfortable on the bed and I'm way more relieved that she decides to drop it.
"Is everything okay?" I ask her as I dart inside the bathroom.
"Yeah. I ate too much that I can't even breathe properly. Would you like some breakfast?"
"Not really, I'm not hungry," I reply from inside the bathroom, sucking in a deep breath.
What was I thinking? Is the only question in my head.
Staring myself in the mirror, my reflection kind of disgusts me. I'm suddenly feeling guilty from all the treacherous things I keep doing in the dark, behind closed door.
I'm such a traitor, backstabber, and I wonder how to stop.
"I've made up my mind, Kira," Sam shouts enough to give me a startle. "I'm going to tell Liam everything today." Her voice echoes just behind the bathroom door, and my heart jumps a rope.
Again with that? I feel more awful. She sounds pretty much excited, however, and what I see for myself in the mirror isn't what to call bliss.
"Really? That's good," I hardly utter the words.
Sam goes on telling me about her plans for the day, and it seems like she's so determined to finally ask Liam out. I'm positive she's more than capable of doing so.
"Do you think he'll reject me?" she asks casually. I swallow hard, not knowing what to say. What can I possibly say? Her laughter plucks me from the trance of horror. "Oh, I guess I shouldn't ask my little nerdy about this stuff, right?" she adds upon my silence.
A nervous smile stretches on my lips a bit. "You're right, what do I know?" I remark.
"Well, I'll see what happens," she says with another sigh, a sound one. "But honestly, do you think I have a chance with him?" Her hopeful gaze is heart-aching for me.
"Um—‘’ I end up clearing my throat, unsure how to respond, yet again. This is a pure, undiluted torture. "Maybe you do, and maybe you don't."
Why can't you just tell her? My subconscious rumbles inside.
"What does that mean?" Sam huffs incredulously, pitching me a not-so-pleased look.
"I mean, you should be prepared for anything." I shrug, guising my true thoughts. "From what I've learned, Liam is kind of unpredictable; he's not like average guys who clearly show their likes and desires openly," I just blurt out whatever comes to mind.
"Meaning?" Sam sits more comfortably, her brows crunched.
"I mean, you shouldn't hope too much, in case things don't work out as you want them to. If he had same feelings, he'd made it clear to you, no?" I say.
Sam gives me an intense scrutiny. My breath hitches. "This is strange," she utters.
"What is?"
"You . . . Acting all pessimistic."
"Well, you wanted my honest opinion, right?" I query. She nods, looking undecided. "There, I think you should be ready for anything so that you won't be too disappointed in case things fall apart."
Sam sighs heavily, before saying, "I guess you're right."
I only hope this ends well. I'd love to tell her the truth but damn my guts! How do I even start?
Will she understand? This is the worst situation I've ever been as far as our friendship is concerned.
Between talking and laughing casually, Sam stays with me while I fix my bed, and offers to bring me breakfast once again, which I refuse. I don't feel like eating a thing at the moment. At last she leaves me alone, and I take the most of this privacy to think things through.
The short moment I shared with Liam has become very special to me; I felt happy, and mostly very alive. It's something inexplicably sweet, and I've never felt it before. Moreover, it's amazing I slept peacefully by his side. It is something science has failed to accomplish so far. Sighing, I hug myself while sitting on the couch, facing outside through the window.
How do I solve this situation? And that . . . without hurting anyone. Can I face my best friend and tell her everything? I decide to put this matter pending and take a shower.
Perhaps I'll regain my sanity afterwards.
I feel lively after a shower. My idleness and disquietude urge me to take a short walk around the ranch as there's nothing else to do. Sam has been on a phone call for eternity with her buddies . . . and I can't stay still.
My feet wander aimlessly in the garden, feeling the soft summer breeze regaling my face. And Liam pops in my head, quite uncalled for. I didn't get to see him since last night and I gather it's best this way.
I lazily pace alongside the fence, which leads me to the barn where I find Julian tending the horses. Succeeding my stop, I dive under the fence and Julian regards me with a startled look.
"You're not talking to them?" I tease him.
"Ms. Kira?" Julian looks startled. I break into a chuckle at his instant frown at the sight of me. "Talking to the horses?" He glares at me.
"Yeah. I thought you're good at talking to them as well." I move closer.
"Are you angry because I told Sir Liam that you went to the woods by yourself?" He looks a bit remorseful, and I squint at the sight. What is he talking about? "Well, I've never seen a girl taking that path so easily; so I was—“
"Wait," I interrupt. "So Liam went to look for me because you told him I walked through the woods?" I ask in what sounds like a grand hunger for information.
What a lost cause! my subconscious murmurs with the I-knew-it tone of voice, shaking her head with a sight. And do I even care? Not really.
"Yes, that's what I said," Julian snorts. "He was very mad at me, so don't add to it."
I smile indulgently, my heart appeased. "No, I'm not mad at you."
"Oh, thank heavens!” The young man sighs with relief, and my eyes narrow in wonder. Did something good happen to him overnight? ‘’Are you his girlfriend?" he suddenly asks while pumping something with whatever he's holding, disrupting my trance.
"What?" My eyes widen.
"His girlfriend, are you?"
"Um, no."
"Really?"
"Absolutely," I respond with a smile. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"
"No," he answers.
"Oh." I can't stop myself from grinning ridiculously. What a fool, though! I know, Liam told me so last night, but confirming about it doesn't seem like a grave sin, does it?
"I know you and your friend with weird hair want to be his girlfriend," Julian utters with a smirk.
"Wh--what?" I gasp, feeling extremely taken aback.
This kid!
"Wait." He peeks inside the barn, and I notice two men coming our way.
Peter and Liam, to be very precise.
Why is it so hard to avoid this man?
"I see. Have a nice day, Julian," I whisper, ready to leave, but I think it's too late for me to do that.
"Why don't you help us, since you're already here, Ms. Jones?" Liam asks me aloud.
Huh? Somebody pinch me.
"Well—‘’ I stutter, and he raises an eyebrow at me, amused. Damn him! "How can I help?" I boldly ask.
"What else is to be done here, Peter?" with a smile, Liam asks Peter who looks a bit startled.
"Um, not much, boss. Julian and I can finish it all," Peter answers reverently.
"Good. You two can go ahead and do something else," Liam says, ignoring Peter's plea. "Ms. Jones and I will finish the painting," he adds while eyeing me intensively, mocking me.