Once you have joined an online dating site, it is simple to browse through hundreds or even thousands of potential online friends. Starting the actual conversation, however, can be difficult if you are not sure what to say. Don’t let nerves get the best of you! If you do not start conversations online, you may never meet people who have relationship potential. Finding things to talk about should be easy once you get the conversation started, but the first few words are always the most difficult ones.
Commonly, people message those they are interested in with a simple “hello” or “hi.” This is fine, because it gives the other person your screen name and he or she can check your profile to see if a conversation would be appropriate. If the other person does not answer, do not be offended— Internet connections are sometimes lost. After saying hello for the first time, you can choose to either generically start the conversation by asking how the other person is doing or asking what they are doing at the moment. However, if you have not planned ahead further than that, your conversation could die with one-word answers.
A good starting point can usually be found in the other person’s profile. What attracted you to him or her in the first place? Perhaps you share a common interest—talk about that. For example, if he or she lists that they love to cook, you might want to talk about your favorite recipes. Likewise, if you notice a common band that you both enjoy is listed in the other’s profile, comment on that and share a story about seeing them in concert (or your wish to see them in concert!). You can talk about anything and everything about your hobbies this way and it will also lead to other questions about other hobbies.
Talking about future plans and goals is a good place to start as well. Ask the other person about their job or schooling and tell them about yours. Are career changes likely in the future? Why? You can also talk about other commonalties, like family and religion, as well as a variety of other things. Think of a few initial questions and let the conversation flow from there. If it does not, chances are that you are not very compatible. There is no shame is saying goodbye to someone and not talking to them again in the future—online dating is not about meeting hundreds of people, it is about finding one who has relationship potential or perhaps finding a few who can become closer friends. Let the conversation gauge whether this is possible, but remember that you must get things started, so be prepared with a few conversational topics.