Ch2
I don’t remember exactly when it was, but a long time ago, I took my children to the zoo. John and Hannah were so excited; they dragged me and their mom everywhere. I was so tired of chasing them, so I sat down on a rock. It was a hot day and I was sweating. I saw an elephant behind the fence, which made me think about his situation. If he was out in the wild, he could run freely, but he was locked up and sitting down on the ground. I wondered what he was thinking. Does he remember running in Africa? Is he resentful toward the people who caught him? If he was born in the United States, has he ever seen Africa? I felt like I could understand him. What am I doing here? I am also locked up like that elephant. 'But I am the one who chose this. Did I really want this, or did I start a family because I wanted to be responsible for my mistake with Nancy? “Robert! Come, hurry.” I turned my head to Nancy and realization hit, I don't love her...I was not happy, so I did not smile.
-R-
The New Age Stock Company was placed near downtown Camas city. Robert's job was very simple, and he only had two years left until retirement. He was forcing himself to go to work. Often he looked outside of his window and drifted off into retirement world. Every day was the same. The work itself was not too bad, but when he was sitting alone in his office, a dark feeling filled him. It drove him crazy.. It was hard for him to deal with that feeling without pills. He swallowed his medication and exhaled. "Phew..." He sat down on his chair and leaned back. There were people going to lunch outside. They were talking about where and what to eat. He turned to the window and watched other people going out to lunch. His depression had increased, especially after his brother died; people stopped talking to Robert. Robert also had an alcohol addiction problem, and often he got warnings from his job.
At first, he forced himself to mingle with people to overcome his depression, but it did not work; it made him more upset. When he was young, he worked hard for the company. He gave everything to his job, but now, it was just a place where he had to go every day.
Robert was not sure if he was hungry or not. He kept staring out the window. There were people who were waiting to cross the intersection. One girl caught his attention; she looked familiar She tied her dark brown hair and wore a pink shirt and tights. She had her headphones in and was jumping and dancing while waiting for the light. Who is sh---? Right! It was the girl who borrowed my hammer last week, my neighbor's granddaughter. Robert couldn’t remember her name. It was hard to tell, but Robert thought she was smiling. What makes her so happy...? He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He put them back on and grabbed his jacket to go out.
When he got out of the building, he felt a cool wind. Now there were fewer people around. He walked to the park. He preferred the park with the sandwich cart rather than the cafeteria. When he ate alone, it made him depressed, but eating among many people, and realizing he was alone made it worse. He bought the turkey sandwich from the small sandwich shop and sat down on a bench. He opened the package and leaned back. There were always old men playing chess, parents taking walks with their children or pets, and people exercising.
That could be me in two years. He watched the older men running past while he ate his sandwich. He shared some with the birds and then noticed something strange. When he turned his head, he saw Mrs. Olverman's granddaughter running. "Sara!" He remembered her name. She was running to Robert. When she came near him, she raised her hand and said, "Hi."
Does she remember me? He awkwardly waved back. She ran past Robert. He saw Sara saying hello to other people, too. Of course not. Robert was embarrassed that he had felt excited and took one more bite of sandwich. He looked in the direction that Sara had run. She had already disappeared. He thought it was weird how she said hello to strangers.
He usually got home from work a little bit after dark. There wasn’t anything exciting after work. He came home and parked his car in the messy garage, running over miscellaneous items on the floor of the garage. He would clean it this weekend. He decided to be really careful not to break anything when he was drunk next time.
The living room was dark. No one was at home, only silence. He turned the lights on to find his cell phone on the table. Robert hadn’t noticed he had left it, but that didn’t surprise him. He hardly got calls. When Neal was around, he called Robert often. Robert missed his younger brother so much.
He turned on the T.V., his usual routine. The sound of the T.V. helped him to get rid of the silence at home. He couldn’t handle the quiet. After making one of his usual microwave meals, Robert grabbed a few cans of beer and sat down on the couch. He did not like any particular show. He turned on anything and mindlessly sat there until he fell asleep. When he woke up in the middle of night, which happened quite often, he watched classic movies. His favorites were ones that starred Audrey Hepburn. They were very old, and predictable, but he still loved them. He took another can of beer. Dr. Albert told him to stop drinking, but he didn’t listen. Drinking beer instead of liquor was a lot of progress for him. He needed the alcohol, otherwise he couldn’t sleep or keep it together.
A little after 9 o'clock, he had sunk deep into his couch. He was sleepy, and when his eyes were about to close, the sound of girls laughing woke him up. He could tell it was from right next door. Mrs. Olverman's house was very close. When Mrs. Olverman came out to her backyard he could hear her through his kitchen. He was not sure, but he assumed that the laughing was coming from their backyard. He realized there was more than one person living with Sara. He took a sip of beer and closed his eyes. While he was falling asleep he kept hearing the girls’ voices. When he opened his eyes again, it was morning.