-S-
Sara was sitting on the couch and staring at her cellphone after dinner. She was not waiting for any phone calls, but she was thinking what had happened to her recently. Everything had happened so fast with Joe. She was happy with him. Being with him was great; they did a lot of things together and they got along pretty well. Yesterday, he told her how he made all his money through stocks. She told him about how she was looking for her career, and maybe having a teaching job. While she was talking about her future, she wanted to ask about their future. She wanted him to bring it up, but he did not do it. Am I afraid to lose him already?
"What are you thinking about? Joe?" Michelle sat down next to her giggling.
"Michelle... Do you think I am in love?"
"Oh my gosh! Sara Hale, you should stop thinking about that. You are not a Disney princess. Not everything is perfect in this world."
"Well. I know that."
"Are you happy now?"
Sara pictured Joe. "Yes."
"Then that's cool. Don't think too deeply. I don't even have anyone to be with."
"Do you believe there is one person for everyone in this world?"
"No, I don't believe that."
"Why?"
"Because, your life is up to you. There is no such thing as 'it should be that way,' 'it's destiny,' I think that works for some people, but I think that is crap. The bottom line is, there could be more than one, or none at all. You decide."
"Oh, ok."
"Listen. If you want to be in love, you will. Even if you don't know what true love is, you will find it since you are looking for it. However, if you just want to be in love and you’re not doing anything, nothing will happen."
"Well. Wouldn't everybody want that?"
"I don't think so. There are plenty of people just seeing others just because they are sad and lonely. I wonder how many people actually want ‘passionate love.’ See where I am going with this?”
“Yes, I think so. We can’t just wait under the tree until the apple falls.”
“Yes! If you really want that, take the risk and climb up the tree.”
“That’s right. Um, why don’t you date Jake?” Sara wanted to ask that for a long time.
“No! That would be crazy.”
“Why not? You guys are really close friends.”
“We always drive each other crazy, and he is only after Jennifer.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, when we gathered, he always asks me if Jennifer comes. Do you remember when Jake broke his leg and Jennifer just left before you brought her lunch?”
“Oh, yeah. I do.”
“Do you know what Jake told her?”
“No, did she tell you?”
“Jake told me.”
“What did he say to her?” Sara’s phone rang. It was a phone call from Jack. Sara looked at it with a complicated face.
“Who is it?”
“Jack.”
“Just tell him that you are with Joe.”
“Should I?”
“Or you can post the picture of you and him on your Facebook so he gets the idea; or change your Facebook picture to you and him kissing.”
"Oh, please stop there. You are going too far away." Sara remembered that she did not have any photos with Joe.
“And I don’t have any picture with him.”
“Not a single one?”
“No.”
“Let’s go.” Michelle stood up.
“Where?”
“Joe’s. To take a picture.”
“It’s 10 already.”
“So what? He doesn’t sleep.”
"And. I am not sure about that. That is what we did back in high school. We are not kids anymore."
"Who cares? You do what you want to do. People should stop thinking about what other people think of them. They are not going to live your life for you. Let's go!" Michelle grabbed Sara's left arm.
"I don't want him to think of me as..."
"Whatever that word is, I know that Joe wouldn't think like that. He might think you are so cute doing that.”
“I’m not even wearing makeup.”
“You are still beautiful.”
“I need to change at least.”
“No, it seems natural, let’s go!” Michelle dragged Sara to Joe’s house. Outside it had cooled down nicely. They giggled and knocked on Joe’s door.
“Who is it?” Joe opened the door.
“It’s us!” Michelle laughed.
“Oh, hey, do you want to come in?”
“No, but stand there.” Michelle pushed Sara next to Joe.
“We are taking pictures. Be happy.”
Sara thought the situation was so funny and kept laughing.
“What’s going on?” Joe asked.
“Just stand. Sara, stop laughing!” Sara stood next to Joe and Joe put his arm around her.
“Here we go.” They both smiled.
“One more!” Michelle took another photo of them.
“I want to see,” Sara said excitedly.
“Can I have them?” Joe asked.
“I will send them to you,” Sara said.
“Ok, good night.” Michelle said.
“You guys, too.” Joe waved at them.
“Wait,” Michelle stopped. “Have you seen Taken?”
“Taken? I think so. It’s a movie, right?”
“Yeah, right. If you make Sara sad…” Michelle walked to Joe and put her finger at him and tried to speak in a low tone. “I’ll find and kill you.”
Sara started laughing out loud. “You are crazy. Sorry, Joe. Good night.”
Joe seemed confused about what had just happened. Sara and Michelle laughed for a while after they had gone home. Sara changed her profile picture, and sent Jack a text, but he did not reply. Sara checked Joe’s Facebook, but there was nothing. Joe said he just made the account but never used it. Sara and Michelle kept talking, and before Sara went to bed, she remembered that she did not hear what Jake had told Jennifer.
Sara could not find a job after Jennifer’s, but she had time to think about having a teaching job. She talked to her mother about that and she said it was a good idea. She carefully talked about Joe, and her mother was very happy about that. She told her that Joe looked kind to her. After she talked to her mother, she felt very light. Her other friends asked about Joe, and she just said she was dating him. However, she still thought about Keith and hoped he was doing well, too.
A couple days later, she went to the food pantry to volunteer. She went out early in the morning and helped prepare food. She wore a mask and an apron to get ready. Her job was moving bread, and helping to make soup. It was harder than she thought, but when she saw people coming to eat, she felt good. She was distributing food to the people one by one. Most of the people looked homeless, and some of them looked very sick. They were very different people from Sara. She felt like she was in a different world. She saw a little girl and the old man who seemed like her grandfather. They put leftover food in their bags. Sara felt bad for the people. She never had to worry about food or money. I was a blessed girl. She experienced a lot of emotions volunteering there.
“Hey, girl, eat breakfast.” A kind looking middle- aged African American woman called out to Sara. She sat next to the other workers.
“What’s your name?” the African American lady asked.
“It’s Sara.”
“Hi, I am Jenny. Is this your first time here?” Jenny bit a piece of her bread.
“Yes.”
“Is this some kind of requirement for school?”
“Oh, no. I just want to do some service.” As soon as Jenny heard it she smiled very big.
“Have you been working here long?”
“Yes. I used to eat here a lot. I did not go to school, and I was on the wrong side of the tracks. However, now I am doing better. If I was not in this place, I would probably go to jail for stealing food or die.” Jenny said and laughed. “I am not kidding. Some of my friends actually died.” Jenny said, nonchalantly. “Do you see that man?” Jenny pointed to one bald man. He had tattoos on his neck.
“Yes.”
“He was one of the gang leaders around here. He killed many people but never got caught, and the one next to him was a drug dealer. They’re all clean now.”
Sara was suddenly very scared of them. Jenny kept telling stories about people who were working there. There were many different types of people. Some of them had very sad stories, some of them were the people who once gave up their lives, and some of them were living normal lives, but they liked to help others. Sara saw people around her one by one and looked at all the pople in the service center. There are so many different kinds of people. They all have different stories.
“So girl, live diligently when you are young, and if you become something, help others.” Jenny smiled. She already finished her meal while Sara could not finish half of her meal.
Sara talked about her experience to Joe. Joe paid attention to her story.
“I think it is very nice what you did. Just like you said, there are so many different people. If you see and listen to more of them, your perspective will be wider,” Joe said.
“I think so, too.” Sara felt tired and leaned on Joe.
“Next time I will go with you.”
"Really? Will you?" Joe whispered in her ear.
"No, I was joking."
"Whatever!" She playfully hit Joe.
"It was a joke again. I will go with you."
"OK." Sara closed her eyes. It was very comfortable. Sara fell asleep quickly on Joe's shoulder. When she woke up on his shoulder, she remembered when she would fall asleep on Keith's shoulder. Keith kept listening to music, or would move, but Joe did not move. Joe was like part of the couch.
"Tell me about your family," Sara said.
"My family?"
"Yes, you never told me anything about your family. How many siblings do you have?"
"I had one younger brother".
"You had?"
"Yeah, it was a car accident. Ironically, he always kept the traffic laws pretty well."
"I am sorry."
"And I had one sister, but she ran out of home when she was 18 and never came back. She always fought with my dad. She had some bad friends. I stopped talking to her after she left. My brother Neal was the only one who talked to her. She went to jail a couple of times. My dad told her that if she begged, then he would take her in, but she never did. She did not listen to my mom either. Slowly, she lost contact. No one knew where, and what she was doing. She was part of our family, but she became forgotten."
"Do you want to look for her?"
"I don't know, but, what if, what if my dad was more loving and kind to her? Would something have changed? I am also responsible. I did not do anything."
Sara held Joe's hand.
"What about yours?" Joe asked.
"We don't have many problems. My father sometimes gets mad but he listens to my mom pretty well. My brothers used to be rebellious, but they are fine now. My father does not talk too much, but he always cared for us. Mother, me, and my younger sister are very close."
"My dad was." Joe started his sentence. "He drank and smoked a lot. Sometimes he hit us, too. When he was not drunk he did not talk too much. I did not like him back then, but now that I think about it, he tried. He tried to take care of us. After he divorced my mother, he died because of lung cancer. I used to say to myself, that I will never become like him. However, now I can kind of understand him, and my mom just passed away."
"I am sorry, I shouldn’t have asked..." Sara regretted bringing it up and now she was sad. Joe was alone. He was alone in this world.
"I'm fine," Joe said, lying to Sara. "One time, we went to California as a family. Everybody, including my sister. We walked on the beach, and it was just so good. I think that was the only time when we were all happy. I want to go there again before I leave."
"Joe, it's ok. You are not alone. Not anymore." Sara hugged Joe.
The next day, Sara visited her grandmother. She talked to her grandmother about what she had experienced, but there were more stories about Joe than her volunteer experiences.