Susan inserted her key into the hotel room door and opened it. The first thing to assail her nostrils was the smell of cigarette smoke. She looked over at the bed and saw an ashtray on the night table filled to the brim with cigarette butts.
“Oh, gross!” she said, pinching her nose. “Lynn and Ian must be staying here. I sure hope my clothes don’t stink!”
She pulled her suitcase out of the closet and began taking her clothes off the hangers then out of drawers until everything but her bathroom items were packed. She kept the green dress on, wanting to get out of the smelly room as soon as possible. No big deal about spending another few hours in it after all.
“I think I should get all my stuff out of here,” she said looking at James. “Can we put my suitcase in the trunk of your car?”
“Sure, but hurry, okay. I don’t want to be late in case Ryan stops by the club. He said he wanted to listen to more of our songs.”
“Just give me a few minutes, okay?” she said as she headed into the bathroom. She closed the door then used the loo. On the counter, was her bag of cosmetics. She eyed it then looked at herself in the mirror. “I look pretty plain,” she thought as she opened the bag and took out some eyeshadow. “I think I’ll do some beautification here real quick. Ah yes, here’s some green shadow; it’ll match the dress nicely...”
When she came out of the bathroom five minutes later, James had her suitcase in hand and was ready to walk out the door.
Until he looked at her. He stopped dead in his tracks.
“What’s that stuff all over your face?” he asked.
“Make-up,” she said. “I thought I’d make myself beautiful for you.”
“You look cheap and tawdry. Go wash it off...and hurry...I told you I don’t want to be late.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she froze.
“Wash it off? Wash it off!!!” she said indignantly, stung by his words.
“I believe I spoke in English,” he replied. “Yes, wash it off. You look better without it. I think you’re just fine the way you are.”
“Well, you might think so, but maybe I don’t. Maybe other people would think I look nice with makeup. Maybe I want to feel pretty… Maybe...” Her voice rose an octave with each word.
“I don’t care what other people think. Go wash it off!”
Her stubborn streak kicked into high gear. “Make me,” she challenged him in a pouty, little girl voice. As she’d told Mel earlier, no man was ever going to tell her what to do. She defiantly crossed her arms over her chest, her feet planted on the floor.
He set down her suitcase and came up to her, saying softly, “I washed the stuff out of my hair for you, didn’t I? I expect it’s not too much to ask that you wash that mess off your face for me?”
If she hadn’t been so flustered, she would have seen the warning signals in his eyes. Mess?! He was calling her a mess! She fumed.
“You either go back into the bathroom and wash it off yourself, or I’ll go get a washing cloth and do it for you,” he said quietly.
“Why you arrogant asshole! How dare you order me around!! You’re being an A-number-one shithead about this!”
He grabbed her arm above the elbow. “What did you call me?”
“You heard me loud and clear, I think. Do you want me to repeat it?”
“I think you owe me an apology,” he said coldly, squeezing her arm tighter. “And your swearing has got to stop!”
“Ow! You’re hurting me!” she said.
He immediately released her arm, looking at her with eyes blazing. “I said you owe me an apology. And I mean it; quit the damn swearing!!”
She thought back to the incident at the practice where he’d insulted her with the “I’ll Have You” song and how she’d told him to apologize.
“Fine then!” she said as sarcastically as possible. “Fine, fine, fine! I apologize.”
He grabbed her arm again, this time gently but enough to keep her from pulling away.
“Say it like you mean it,” he said firmly, his eyes boring into hers.
She shook herself loose and turned her back to him. She was shaking and suddenly very confused. Was she being really stupid here? He didn’t like the make-up and told her to take it off. What was the big deal? It wasn’t like she had to look at herself. If he liked her looking plain, why was she being so stubborn? And, he had a point; he’d washed the greasy stuff out of his hair for her...
“Because I don’t like being bossed around!!” she said to herself. “Nobody bosses me around!”
“Well?” he said softly behind her. “I’m waiting.”
Suddenly, she wanted to cry. She just couldn’t make her mouth say the words, “I’m sorry.”
“What the hell is wrong with me?” she asked herself.
“You want me to leave you here then?” he asked, sounding wounded and disappointed, the anger fading from him as quickly as it had come.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and her shoulders started moving up and down as a sob burst from her. The tears poured down her cheeks along with some of the eyeshadow and mascara, stinging her eyes.
He moved forward, took her by the shoulders and turned her around. “Is it so hard for you to say you’re sorry?” he asked. “Why? It’s not that difficult you know.”
She reached up to rub her burning eyes.
“Come here,” he said pulling her into the bathroom. “Let me take care of that.”
He took a washcloth off a shelf, ran cold water over it and started gently wiping her face and eyes. She stood still, arms hanging limply at her sides. When he was done, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the tip of her nose.
She sniffed. “Thank you,” she whispered.
But she didn’t say she was sorry. He didn’t seem to notice.
***
Lynn and Mindy were already sitting at their regular table near the front of the club against the wall when Susan arrived. It looked like a couple of girls from the other side of the room had come over to join them. One of them was Sara. There was no sign of Hilary anywhere. They all smiled at Susan as she came up to the table. Her eyes were red from crying, but no one seemed to notice due to the dim atmosphere of the club and the dingy cloud of smoke hanging over the stage area and tables.
Susan suddenly thought that James hadn’t smoked since the first night she’d met him when he put out the cigarette. She wondered how he was handling it. The withdrawal from smoking was supposed to be hard. Maybe she’d distracted him enough, but she figured it must still be hard. Maybe that’s what had made him so angry at her over the makeup. Maybe he was having withdrawal symptoms. And there she was, being a total bitch over some stupid makeup. She felt contrite. Then, she looked up as the boys came onto the stage area and put on their guitars. Derek stepped up to the microphone and started to sing. The two new girls at their table, as well as the girls on the other side of the room, started screaming.
“Oh, oh, oh…You’ve been sweet to me...
I’ve been so glad...Instead of blue...
And forever more, I want to be...
In love with you...What I really want...
Is to love you girl, love you girl...Oh, oh, oh…”
So...this was the beginning then...screaming, frantic girls... Susan wanted to start crying all over again.
Lynn had her iPhone in her hand and was very obviously trying to get Susan’s attention to draw her off for a private chat, but Susan was being very good at avoiding her. Mindy looked at her oddly, her eyes contemplative.
“She must know,” Susan thought, despairingly. She didn’t know what Lynn had said to her, but it was obvious Mindy knew she probably wasn’t really a history student and her whole being here was a lie. She just prayed that Derek and Ian wouldn’t say anything to James if they’d been told of her deception. Little did she know that, in fact, the only thing Mindy had told them was that Susan wouldn’t be coming back after the history tour. They hadn’t said anything to James. They didn’t think he’d take it very well and it would lead to an argument or worse. They didn’t want to risk it after the audition and the possibility of making a record.
“Yeah now, that’s so good, mama...
That’s so good of you...
That’s so good mama, wow, those crazy things you do…
James stepped up to the microphone. “This is for my girl,” he said.
“I saw stars in the sky…
But I never saw them shining...
No, I didn’t see them before...
Not before you...”
It was the same song they had sung together at the practice that very afternoon.
“And there was sunshine...
And beautiful sweet peas...
That sent out a fragrance reminding of you…”
As Susan listened to the words, she wanted to cry all over again. She felt like a watering pot. Her emotions were at a breaking point. Maybe Lynn was right, and she should get out of here right now before things got even worse than they already were.
Some inkling in the back of her mind was also telling her that James might not be the paragon she’d always thought he was. She could see definite signs of a very over-bearing nature, and she knew it would be hard, if not impossible, to submit to it without blowing up at him. She took a few deep breaths as her eyes connected with James’s and the song ended.
“There were birds all around…
But I never heard their chirping…
No, I didn’t hear them before…not before you…
Not before you…”
All the girls in the room were looking at her. She felt like they were closing in on her. The room was suddenly very hot, and her head was spinning. Her skin felt clammy.
She fainted dead away, crumpling onto the floor. James ripped off his guitar as he saw her go down and ran off the stage area to where she was laying. He yelled for some water and cradled her in his arms.
“Susan,” he said, “Susan...are you okay?” He dipped his hand into the glass of water Sandra had run over with and sprinkled it on Susan’s forehead. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him.
“I’m getting you out of here,” he said as he scooped her up in his arms, walked carefully back through the club, up the stairs, and out the front. He carried her down the alley and into the practice room where he gently placed her in a large stuffed chair that was sitting on the side of the room.
He heard Derek, Ian and Blue continue to play, knowing they could carry off the night without him if they had to. He briefly thought about Ryan but chased the thought from his mind as he looked at Susan’s pale face.
“I’m taking you back home,” he whispered to her.
She rubbed her eyes and sat up straight, then tried to stand up.
“Just stay there a minute, while I tell Derek something,” he said, urging her to sit back down.
A short time later, he was back, and they both went out to his car and drove home. Susan was relieved she didn’t have to talk to Lynn. By the time James pulled up to the house, she was feeling much better.
Mel was surprised to see them. When James explained that Susan had fainted, he was concerned.
“Are you okay, Luv?” he asked.
She nodded. “I think maybe I just overdid it today. And it was so hot and smoky in the club; I didn’t feel like I could even breathe.”
“Well, why don’t you go upstairs and lay down then? I’ll take you up to James’s room,” he said motioning her to go upstairs. James followed them.
“If you want to go back to the club, go on,” said Mel. “I’ll make sure she gets tucked in all right and tight. I’ll leave a blanket and pillow downstairs for you on the couch,” he added pointedly.
“You okay with my going back to the club?” James asked Susan as she laid her head down on the pillow of his bed.
“Of course I am,” she smiled up at him. “Just don’t go home with any of those other girls, okay?”
He leaned down and kissed her tenderly. “Never in a million years,” he said, turning off the light and going downstairs.
She snuggled into his pillow, wrapping both arms around it tightly and breathing in the scent of him. She was asleep before he went back out the door.