Lynn came back quicker than Susan, materializing on one of the beds in Mika and Marta’s cabin right at the stroke of midnight. She felt a little dizzy, but Marta was sitting on the bed next to her, helped her to sit up and gave her a glass of wine.
“Here, drink this,” she said. “Mika’s added some herbs to help you come all back together.”
“Where’s Susan?” Lynn asked, looking over at the other bed that was still empty.
Marta looked at Mika with a worried look on her face, then back at Lynn. “She’s fighting it,” was all she said.
“What do you mean fighting it?”
“She doesn’t want to come back yet.”
“But, she has to come back, doesn’t she?”
“Yes.”
There was silence in the cabin as Mika lit some candles and started burning some herbs, then she started chanting in a low tone.
“What’s going on?” asked Lynn.
“She’s bringing her back by force. Don’t worry; she’ll be okay.”
As Lynn looked at the other bed, she could see the faint outline of a body, almost like a shadow that slowly began to brighten. The minutes dragged on, but finally, Lynn was able to recognize the body as that of Susan, but for some reason, it wouldn’t solidify.
“She’s almost back now. Don’t worry,” said Marta taking Lynn’s hand and squeezing it.
“Is her heart going to be broken when she gets back?”
“Wait and see. She made her own decision to go back, and she made her own choices while she was there. She could bring back a lot of pain for herself from what she learned. It might be something she didn’t want to know or didn’t want to accept. That’s the way it is for those who fight coming back.”
“Oh, I hope she doesn’t bring back what I think she might,” moaned Lynn. “It was bad enough before.”
Marta responded, “As I said, she may also bring back what she learned, which is why she wanted to go in the first place, even though she may not have realized it at the time. She wanted to know the truth about this person she so wished to meet…And, I believe she may have found it out.”
Finally, the shape on the bed materialized into a complete and solid Susan. She was writhing and moaning as if in agony, and screaming, “No! No! James! James!”
Marta was ready with the glass of wine and herbs. Mika went to the other side of her. Both of them helped her to sit up, then forced the wine down her throat. She choked a little, but they were able to get the whole glass down. She was panting, and her eyes were squeezed closed. No one said anything, and after a few minutes, her breathing slowed down, and she opened her eyes. They were glazed over as if in a trance, then slowly cleared.
“Suz?” said Lynn, getting up from the bed she was on and going over to her. “Suz, are you okay?” She clasped Susan’s hands in her own.
Susan’s eyes were clouded over, and tears began pouring down her face. Marta motioned to Lynn not to say anything but to wait a few minutes.
Susan’s shoulders shook uncontrollably as she continued to sob. She covered her face with her hands, taking deep breaths and hiccupping now and then. After a moment, her breathing started to slow more, and the crying stopped. She removed her hands from her face and instinctively reached for her necklace.
It wasn’t there.
Lynn looked at her, hoping she wasn’t going to remember what she’d done with it. Mika looked surprised as if leaving a physical object behind wasn’t supposed to happen. Perhaps the necklace symbolically represented something that had to be left behind, a part of Susan that must never again be part of the present.
“Suz,” Lynn asked again. “Are you okay?”
Susan shook her head, “yes,” and took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine...I’ll be okay...I don’t understand why, but I just didn’t want to leave...”
“But you knew you had to...”
“Yes.” She looked down at her hands, her eyes focusing on her wedding rings that were once again on her hand, and she sighed heavily. “It would never have worked out between us, would it? He wasn’t what I thought he would be...”
Lynn reached over and took her hand. “I’ve been telling you for years that what you have here has always been better.”
Susan looked up at her. “You have, haven’t you? I thought he’d be different...I even thought that maybe I could change him somehow...but it never would have happened, would it? I thought maybe if I could stay a little longer...I’d find out more good things about him than bad things…” Her voice faded to a whisper.
Lynn shook her head and continued to listen.
Tears came back into Susan’s eyes. “It was all just beginning for them, wasn’t it? They were on the brink of it all...the adoration...all the girls...being famous...he would have cheated on me, left me...He was so young...”
“And immature,” Lynn added. “And unpredictable and moody...”
“And he kept expecting me to be submissive...”
“As if that would have ever happened!”
That got a shadow of a smile out of Susan. “Yeah...it would have been a cold day in hell before that ever happened...”
“And he didn’t like cats! That’s enough right there to know you wouldn’t have gotten along.”
“That’s true...And...he didn’t like to read, wasn’t interested in science or politics or history; he didn’t care for gardening. I wouldn’t have had anything to talk to him about.”
“Well, he was only twenty-years-old…So, you’ve listed all the reasons he wouldn’t have suited you, right? Why would you have wanted to stay? What good would it have done?”
“Nothing. We would never have suited.”
She was silent for a full minute, twisting the rings on her left hand. She started to cry
again.
“Oh Lynn, how could I have been so foolish to think he could even hold a candle to what I have now? I’ve been so wrong to even think it would be possible!”
“But you had to find out, didn’t you? You had to know for sure. It was the only way to end your obsession, don’t you think?”
“But why then didn’t I want to come back? It makes no sense to me.”
“Maybe because it was a part of you for so long, you just didn’t want to let go.”
Mika nodded her head in the shadows, then stepped forward.
***
“And now I will tell you the truth of what you have learned. Your husband in this present time is this James person you thought you would find when you went back. You have just been blind to it. Look at what you experienced, and you will see it to be true. The James you wanted to meet does not exist and never has. The James you’ve always wanted is what you have now. It was what you asked for, remember? And that is what you needed and wanted to learn, is it not?” All Susan could do was nod her head, acceptance beginning to flicker in her eyes.
Mika continued. “Your husband came to you at a time in your life when you weren’t quite ready to accept who and what he was. But that is the way of the Universe. The Universe sent him to you because it knew what you wanted. You drew him to you by the force of attraction that rainy day in your art class.
“You have fought against the truth for so many years, thinking this James person was who you wanted. It is now time for you to realize the true happiness that lies within you. It is the happiness of what you have now. This James you so wished to meet pales in comparison, does he not, especially now that you have been with him in person? From the moment you met your husband, this James person ceased to exist. Because your dream did come true when he asked you to marry him. And that is why you are still married. You were destined for each other. He was and is your Dream Prince. Do you understand now?”
Susan’s eyes filled with tears again. She suddenly really did understand. It was as if a veil had been removed from her eyes.
“All this time...all these years,” she whispered. “And I’ve been so blind. I’ve been so wrong...”
“Your husband loves you with all his heart and always has. He has loved only you, and now it is time for you to love only him. Do you understand?”
Susan looked up and sighed heavily. “Yes...yes, I do.”
“Then go home and give all of yourself to him. You can do it now. You are free.”
A giant smile spread across Susan’s face, and she laughed.
“Oh...I most certainly will!!!”
Then she reached for her necklace, noticing it was gone, and smiled again. It had been her link to James. And now it was gone, just like he was.