I sat on the park bench, watching the lake to calm my nerves. The longer that Cliff was away without knowing where he was, the worse that I felt. It was like someone had torn out a major part of me. I was raw and exposed.

There was a growing emptiness deep inside like I had never felt before. I wasn't sure if this was what it felt like to be depressed, but I felt miserable. I wanted to go into hiding myself.

Then there was the guilt. I couldn't stop beating myself up for what I had done. I knew that it was because of the blood and the transition, but I couldn't forgive myself. Before all of this had begun, I was the most level-headed, rational person around. People had made fun of me for it.

Since the transition had begun, I had been acting like someone else, and it was driving me crazy. I didn't know who this irrational, stylish and popular girl was.

I believed there had to be a way to find or communicate with Cliff. We were unique even for vampires, and there had to be a way. The only problem was that I didn't have any clue where to begin.

I heard a crow in the distance. That was the last thing that I wanted to deal with, so I got up and ran to my car.

Once at home, I got into my pajamas and crawled into bed, even though I hadn't had dinner. I didn't care about eating or other than finding Cliff and making things right again.

I tried to fall asleep, but sleep wanted nothing to do with me. My ears were picking up all kinds of strange noises. I heard what sounded like a small animal eating. I could hear the freezer making ice downstairs. I heard something scurrying on the roof. There were also a great number of sounds that I didn't recognize.

I pulled my pillow over my head and tried to drown out all of the noises, but they would not go away. I sighed and hoped that I would learn to ignore these noises in the same way that music becomes background music.

Somehow, I must have managed to fall asleep because my dad was shaking my shoulder and asking if I wanted dinner.

I rolled over and said, "I'm not hungry."

"Mom says that you've been in here for a long time. Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"I'm not hungry and I'm not eating."

"Is everything okay, honey?"

"I'll be fine," I told him. "I just need to be alone for a while."

He patted my head and said, "If you want to talk, just let me know. You know I love you."

"Thanks, Dad."

I tried to fall back asleep, but the new sounds were driving me crazy. I could hear squirrels chattering and chasing each other. I could hear some birds that had yet to fly south. I heard the rustling of leaves and twigs snapping. All from the comfort of my bed with my window tightly closed.

Imagining that the sounds were relaxing instead of annoying, I managed to fall asleep again.

I was in the garden just outside of the castle of my childhood. I was chasing a bunny along the path and darted into a patch of bright orange flowers. I dove into the flowers after it, tumbled around and got stuck because the flowers were on some sort of vine plant.

Frustrated, I started kicking and punching to get the vines off of me, but they were sticky, and my struggles only seemed to make matters worse.

"What have you done?" asked a voice walking in my direction.

"I'm stuck. Would you get me out of here, Mattie?" I asked my watcher.

"Look at you. You're a pitiful mess. Did you forget that your parents told you to stay clean today? There are special guests due to arrive and you are supposed to look your best."

I started squirming around even more and pulled a flower off my face. "Would you just get me out of here?"

She reached down, picked me up and set me on the ground. "You've got dirt everywhere and your dress is stained with green and orange. What are we to do?"

I sighed. "I almost got that bunny. I was this close." I held my finger and thumb out about a hair's width apart.

She smiled. "You're not going to stop until you make that poor thing your pet. Well, let's get you cleaned up."

I heard footsteps behind me. "Don't worry about that. We just got word that our guests are a day behind schedule. Let me take care of her."

I turned around. "Cliffy!"

He smiled at me and gave me a bear hug even though he probably got dirt on his clothes.

"If you want to be in charge of her, that's fine by me," Mattie said. "She's on a wild streak today. More than normal."

"No worries, Mattie. See you at dinner," Cliff said and started patting my hair and clothes to get some of the dirt off. "You sure have a mind of your own, princess. Our life together will always be interesting and fun."

"Of course I have a mind of my own. Who else's mind would I have?"

He laughed. "That's one of the things that I love about you, little one. You're three and I'm ten, and we adore each other like friends or brother and sister. But my parents said that before we get married, we will love each other so much more. I can't wait! We're going to have so much fun!"

I smiled wide. "It's going to be the best. You're my favorite, and I'm glad that we'll be together forever."

"No matter what happens, I'll always love you. Always."

"What if I step on your toe?" I asked, giggling.

"Even if you step on all of my toes."

"What if I get your clothes dirty?"

"I'll still love you if you get my clothes all dirty."

"What if I eat your dessert?"

"Hmm….Yes, even then I'll still love you."

I poked him and ran the other direction. He chased after me and caught me. I laughed as he picked me up and threw me into the air. I had no doubt that he would catch me.

"I'll love you even if you poke me and run away from me." He was still holding me.

I grinned and kissed his cheek.

I sat up in bed. When I realized where I was, the happiness from the dream dissipated immediately and I was quickly consumed with guilt and grief. I threw myself back onto my pillow and let the tears flow until it was soaked.

When I had no more tears left, I grabbed the other pillow on my bed and lay down on it. I could hear all kinds of noises that I didn't want to hear. I could also feel the beginning pangs of wanting blood. I didn't care about the blood. My guilt and grief were both much stronger than the desire for blood. For now, at least.

The memory dream had me feeling even worse than I had before. His love for me was so pure and true. I had stomped all over it.

The next day, I refused to get out of bed to go to school.

"What about your perfect attendance record?" my mom asked. "Surely you don't want to ruin that. It's always been so important to you."

"I don't care about that anymore."

"Are you sure that you won't care about it in a few months?"

"I won't care then, either."

"If you need to take a day or two for yourself, then I'll excuse you from school. I just want to make sure that you won't regret missing your record for the first time."

"The record doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I didn't think that it mattered to you anyway."

"I don't understand it," she said. "I never have. But before I call in to excuse you, I want to make sure that it's not important to you anymore."

"Like I said, I don't care."

I spent that whole day in bed crying, and when I had no more tears, I slept the rest of the time. Natalie had brought my homework and left it on my desk.

Days went by, and I barely noticed when one became the next. The pile of homework got bigger, and I knew that I was going to need a shower soon.

One day, my mom came in and said that the school had told her that if I missed another day, I would be forced to repeat the semester.

"Okay," I said.

"What does that mean? Okay, you'll repeat the semester or okay, you'll go back?"

"I'll repeat it, I don't care."

"How can you not care? Do you want to graduate with your sister?"

"I don't care because it doesn't matter."

"What has gotten into you lately?" she demanded. "I've been patient and I'm trying to be understanding. For once, I've been on the side of arguing with your dad on your side. He doesn't think I should let you miss so much school."

"My priorities have taken a drastic shift," I told her.

"I can see that. I'm going to have to put my foot down here, Alexis. I'm not going to excuse you from school anymore. You've missed over a week and a half, and you need to get up and face life again."

"What if I just don't go?"

"I imagine that the truancy officers will come and either force you to go back to school or put you in a juvenile detention center."

"They'll send me to juvie for missing school? You've got to be making that up."

"Obviously, you have no knowledge of truancy issues since you've always had a perfect attendance. If you miss too many days of school, it is against the law."

"Do I have to go back tomorrow?"

She sighed. "Tomorrow is Sunday. You have a day and a half to pull yourself together. You might want to start in on that homework."

"Sounds wonderful," I mumbled as she left the room.

I stayed in the same position and watched the clock move for a half an hour before I willed myself up. My body ached because I'd only gotten up to use the bathroom a few times a day. Dinner had been brought to me in bed, which I had barely touched most days. Lying in bed didn't require much fuel.

I looked at my cell phone lying on the floor, unplugged and dead. I knew it had to have died the first day that I climbed into bed if I hadn't plugged it in. It needed to be charged every night. I stared at it for a few minutes before plugging it in. I had missed 137 texts and 78 phone calls. Ugh. I would check those later.

Once in the bathroom, I had to pull my pajamas off my skin, and I thought about throwing them away instead of trying to clean them. I looked in the mirror at my severely greasy hair and dried out skin. I was surprised that I hadn't accumulated a single zit. Maybe that was another vampire perk.

I took the longest shower of my life. I had never been one to hog the shower, but after a week and a half, it was necessary. I could see why Natalie could spend a half an hour in there on a daily basis. It felt wonderful.

After I showered and dressed, I felt noticeably better. I went to my room and began sorting my huge pile of homework into classes and dates. I was glad for the distraction from any thoughts that might upset me.

I decided to start with history and found myself enjoying it. I hadn't poured myself into my studies in so long that it felt good. I had actually missed it. I was glad that popularity couldn't kill my love for learning.

When I had finished the first three days' worth of homework, I decided to get some food. As I was on my way to the stairs, I could hear my parents talking about me in the kitchen. At least there were some advantages to this hearing ability.

"I'm so glad that she got up and took a shower," my dad said. "We can't let her spend that much time in bed again. It's not healthy."

"Jack, haven't you ever experienced a heartbreak? It's her first, and that's always the hardest. I remember that I felt like I couldn't breathe the first time it happened to me. It's overwhelming. She needed the time to heal."

I couldn't get over my mom's sudden interest in me. It would take some getting used to.

"Now it's time for her to get up and move on. She needs to get those grades back up and start preparing for the college entrance exams."

"Let her take the path that she chooses. She may change her mind and decide not to go to an Ivy League school, after all. She might wake up and realize that it's never been her idea, but that it's been you pressuring her all of these years."

"I haven't been pressuring her, Janet. She has a gift. She should have been in a school for the exceptionally bright all of these years. Even the honors classes that she's had haven't been much of a challenge for her."

"At least she and her sister have been able to go to school together. That's important."

"Who is it important to? You? They don't have the same friends, they don't play sports together, and they don't hang out together. The only reason that Alexis has had to go to public school is because you didn't want Natalie to feel bad."

I decided to go back to my room instead of eating. I didn't want to walk into the middle of that. I plugged in my laptop and turned it on. I had a long list of new emails awaiting me. Glancing over them, it looked mostly like they were from people at school hoping that I'd feel better soon.

I wondered why people thought I was gone from school. Surely my mom hadn't let it be known that I was moping in bed all that time.

There were a few emails from my teachers, so I read those, figuring that they would help me to get a better idea of what I had missed in my classes.

I felt like I was getting into a groove, and I felt like my old self. Not popular Alexis, or transitioning vampire princess Alexis, but plain old me. I liked it, and I pretended that all of the new stuff was just a bad dream from when I was in bed sick.

While we were eating breakfast the next morning, my mom said, "We have some exciting news for you two. The foreign exchange student is going to be arriving soon."

"That's going to be so much fun." Natalie smiled. "Where is she going to sleep?"

"We're going to give her the guest bedroom."

"Don't you mean the storage closet?" Natalie asked, smirking. "It's full of random stuff."

Mom looked like she was trying not to laugh. "Would you like to help turn it into a room for a teenage girl?"

"Of course. That will be fun. After you guys clear out the junk, that is."

"Have fun," I said. "I still have a lot of homework to do today."

"I'm sure your teachers don't expect you to have everything completed tomorrow."

"No, they don't. They all sent me emails telling me what they expect, but I want to be able to be right where everyone else is when I get there tomorrow."

"You can't seriously get like two weeks homework done in two days," Natalie said.

"I can and I will," I told her. "I was up all last night working on it. I'm slept out, and I intend to get it all done before tomorrow."

She made a face. "Sounds like you're back to your old self."

"Natalie, be nice," my dad said.

She rolled her eyes. "So tell us about the exchange student. Does she have a name?"

"We don't have too much information," my mom said. "We've gotten all of the information from the Flemings. We haven't talked with the agency at all. Her name is Clara, and she's from England."

I wondered if Clara was going to be my warden or if she might actually extend some trust to me.

As they continued to discuss plans for unknowingly bringing another vampire into the family, I became distracted by a noise that seemed to be getting louder until it was all that I could hear. I acted normally as best as I could, but I wanted to run to my room.

The noise was overpowering and very persistent. I needed to figure out what it was, so I focused on it with all of my energy. It seemed like it was more than one noise, so I tried to zone in on one of the sources, and then realized it was a heartbeat. The full sound was a combination of three heartbeats.

I picked at my food as the sounds of my family's heartbeats screamed at me. The blood pumping through their veins sounded like a rushing river.

My mouth watered, and I could feel my teeth…fangs extended. My eyes were probably going to turn red soon if they hadn't already.

"Alexis!" my dad exclaimed. "Alexis, are you okay?"

"I need to get some fresh air." I ran outside, knocking something over on my way out.

As soon as I was outside, I took as many deep breaths as I could. I had not expected to react like this to my family, but I knew that it shouldn't have surprised me, since I had done the same thing when Amanda spent the night.

I leaned against a tree. "Think, think." I waited for inspiration to hit. Then I thought of a movie I had seen about vampires where some of them hadn't wanted to eat humans, so they drank the blood of animals instead.

It was worth a try, and there were some real woods about 20 miles away. I could probably run there and be back before anyone knew I had left. I looked around to make sure that nobody was watching and ran as fast as I could to the woods.

When I arrived at the woods, I ran up a tree and put my hearing to good use. I listened for any sounds that would indicate the presence of a large animal. My ears began picking up all kinds of sounds, many of which were unfamiliar to my suburban-dwelling ears.

I zoned in on some heavy footsteps. I could tell the direction that they were coming from, and decided to see if I could jump to the next tree over. I found that it was easier than I had thought, and landed on a branch rather quietly.

I kept listening to the large animal that I had heard, and followed it from tree to tree as much as I could, and on ground when I had to. Finally, I saw a lone coyote. It wasn't as large as I had hoped, but I could hear its beating heart and it would probably do the trick.

I jumped silently to the ground and started tiptoeing my way closer to it. It froze where it was, and its ears twitched. It knew that it had become prey.

I sniffed the air and breathed in its scent. I took more steps toward the animal, and then it started running through the thick woods.

At first, I followed it by sight, but then stopped to give it a bit of a head start. I sniffed again and tracked its scent. I could tell which way it had gone, and my heart raced with the excitement of the chase. I could smell its fear.

This was exactly what all of my hypersensitive senses were for. I had never felt so alive.

The coyote knew that I was close and that I was toying with it. It zigzagged around trying to fool me, but I was not a human, limited by just sight and sound.

Finally, my hunger got the best of me, and I stopped playing with it, pouncing on it with ease. It fought, but didn't stand a chance against my bite. The blood satisfied me, although it was not as good as human blood. It was like comparing chocolate mousse and plain bread. Given the choice, the mousse would be preferred, but the bread would do.

When I was finished, I put the coyote under some shrubs hoping that its pack would find it and do whatever it was that coyotes do with their dead members.

I remembered that I needed to get back home, so I ran back as quickly as I could this time, feeling much better than when I had left.

When I got home, I was assaulted with questions.

"Where were you?"

"Why didn't you tell us that you were leaving?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Stop!" I said. "I didn't mean to worry you guys. I wasn't feeling good so I went out for some air. I felt like I needed a run, so I ran. I'm back, and I'm safe."

"Don't do that again. You had us worried."

"Okay, I won't do that again. I'm going to go upstairs and get some more homework done."

While I was busy with my homework, Brooke called my cell phone. I hoped that she was calling to see how I was, not to lecture me about something.

"Hi Brooke."

"You're finally answering your phone." She sounded exasperated. "What's been going on?"

"I had a little downtime."

"A little? I would say that it was quite a lot. I tried to visit you, but your family wouldn't let me. Natalie said that you weren't feeling well and that she wouldn't let any relative of Cliff's near me."

I smiled. "She knew that Cliff and I had a fight, so she must have been trying to protect me. Surely you can understand that."

"Well, what's going on? Why weren't you answering your phone? We've been worried about you."

"I left it unplugged, so I didn't get any calls or texts until I plugged it in yesterday."

"Why didn't you respond to any of them?" she asked.

I sighed. "To be honest, I don't know who called me or texted me. I've been busy catching up on my homework."

"What have you done about blood?"

"I haven't wanted any until this morning, and I got some from a forest animal."

She laughed. "Don't expect to start sparkling in the sunlight."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "I know the movies aren't accurate, but I was desperate and gave it a try. Did you guys find Cliff?"

"No, we haven't heard from Cliff yet. It's been a slow couple of weeks with both of you in hiding."

"So I hear someone named Clara is coming to be my new warden. Who is she?"

"I'm sure that the two of you will get acquainted when she arrives, but she's your cousin, and she's seen your parents recently. She might be able to tell you more about them than us."

"Is she really my cousin, or is she my cousin like Cliff is your cousin?"

"She's really your cousin. Your fathers are brothers, so she's also a descendant of the Fyrsturae. She's not in line for the throne because her father married a common vampire."

"How do you classify a common vampire?" I asked.

"One who was changed from being a human. Her father caused some upset among the royals when he married a common vampire, but he was madly in love, and they still are, from what I hear."

"That sounds interesting," I said. "I'll have to ask her about that."

"Yes. You'll have plenty of time for that."

"So do you have any new clothes for me, or will I have to wear one of my other outfits two whole times? Not that it would bother me to wear something twice, but I know how you feel about it. Most of the clothes that I wore before you started making me clothes were worn hundreds of times."

"That I believe." She laughed. "I'm still making your clothes, and I can drop them off a little later if you'd like."

"That's fine. I'm doing just homework here all day."