Now we are in the car headed back to New York City. It’s only a few minutes after sunrise. Marcus insisted that I be taken to the ER to get checked out.

The doctor said that I had fractured a rib and needed stitches for my hand. He gave me aspirin and told me to get some rest. On the way home, Rio told me that they searched my building and found Ben. He had been given something to make him sleep.

We pull up to my building. My body feels so heavy. The walk to my door looks miles long. I guess I’m more drained than I thought. Marcus walks me to the front door. He tells me not to trust a single soul. He even had Rio scan my mother before he let me go up to my apartment.

“You sure you want to go to school?” Marcus asks.

“Yeah, I don’t want to be home alone.”

“Okay, one of us will pick you up in a few hours.”

“Is Jay coming to school?”

“He may not want to, but we all need to hear what you have to say.”

“Oh.” He’s on autopilot right now. He can’t look me in the eye. He is trying to hide the sadness that’s there.

“What is it?”

“I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone. I mean not the part about me anyway.”

“I don’t have time for this. Are you going to tell us or not?”

He’s tired and frustrated in addition to sad. I don’t want to add to that, so I go along with it.

“Yeah, okay, I will. Later today.” He turns to go away.

“Marcus,” I call out. He turns back. Ameana looks on from the car window.

“I’m sorry about Reese.”

He can’t bring himself to say anything. He nods quickly and walks back to the car. The twins get out of the back seat. They would be watching me for the next few hours.

I walk in and the apartment is silent. It feels so good to be back home. The heat is on so the apartment is warm and toasty. After I check on my mom, I head into my room. Right away I flash back to just hours ago when Reese was in here.

I’ve watched you pine for Marcus and it’s kind of been killing me.

Oh.

I just wanted you to know that there are other angels. Angels who have been wanting to kiss you.

Later, back at the house, we all sit in the living room. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t feel like being exposed to all of them, but I am all out of time. So I take a deep breath and tell them about what Tony told me and how I was a product of a rape. They all listen silently. When I’m done, I apologize for taking so long to tell them.

“Rio, Miku hit the net. We need to find her dad,” Marcus instructs.

“Why?” I ask.

“He’s the key Emmy. We have to find him and tear his life apart until we find what we’re looking for.”

“He’s not important. I’ve never even met him before.”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s the evil in the equation. Why didn’t you tell us before?” Rio asks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to split myself open for you guys to explore. And in case you all forgot, I was busy being tortured.”

“He just means that this is a very important clue to where we can locate the Triplex,” Miku says, defending her brother.

“We know it couldn’t have been easy for you. But your father raped your mom. That has nothing to do with who you are,” Ameana says.

“That has everything to do with it,” I snap.

“Let’s get back to what Tony said. If he’s right about the council, what places do we know the Triplex won’t be in?” Marcus asks in his official voice.

“That takes out buildings where politics are conducted; they’re usually a dwelling for evil,” Miku says.

“That also takes out bars, clubs and law firms. They usually have a high level of evil as well,” Rio adds.

“That also rules out mosques, temples or any place of worship. Those are filled with hope and goodness. Lucy would not have access to the Triplex there,” Marcus says.

“What does that leave us with?” Ameana asks.

“Schools, hospitals, libraries…” Marcus answers.

“The twins can research police records around the time your mom was attacked,” Jay says.

“How?”

“We know a few sites we can hack into,” they say together as they disappear down the hallway and into Miku’s room.

“They know how to do that?”

“They were able to do that before they were angels. Now they’re even better at it,” Jay says.

“You guys won’t find him. I looked for him once.”

“Why?” Jay asks.

“I wanted to get back at him for what he did to my mom. I didn’t even have a plan. It didn’t matter because I couldn’t find him, and neither will the twins.”

“They won’t look into his life; they’ll look into your mom’s life. Sometimes to find evil, you have to focus on its victims,” Marcus adds.

“I don’t want to see him.”

“You don’t have to. This can be just us. One of us will stay with you,” Ameana says.

“He hurt my mom and I don’t see why he gets to walk around scot-free. I hate him.”

“Jay said you were going with him to the mission. Go ahead. We’ll get started on your father’s background in the meantime,” Marcus offers.

“Yeah, let me get my jacket. Be right back.” He Glides off and goes into his room.

“Thank you for sharing that with us. We know it was hard, but it really did help. Now we have a lead. And we may have a lead on Julian,” Marcus volunteers.

“We were going to check it out ourselves but then the Akons took you. So, as soon as we get a lead on your father, we’ll split up, find Julian and get your father,” Marcus says.

“Can you stop calling him that?”

“What do you want me to call him?”

“I don’t care. Just stop calling him that.”

“When we find X, and Julian, we should know everything,” Ameana adds.

“I’m gonna check on Jay,” I say heading down the hall toward his room. How long did it take to get a jacket? This guy could go around the world in eight seconds. What could be taking him so long walk a few feet?

“Hey, Jay, what’s the hold—”

I find him in Reese’s room. The room is filled with fishing magazines and books of poems. There’s a drawing of a family by his bed. It’s two grown-ups and two girls. I close the door and walk over to the frame where Jay is standing. I look on with him.

“Was this his family?” I ask.

“Yeah, we don’t get to take photos with us, so we get someone to draw them the way we remember them. It’s as close to them as we can get. He loved this picture. He could look at it for hours. I knew he’d be daydreaming about the last fishing trip they took. That was Reese’s favorite collector.”

“I remember. He kept disappearing that night I came to dinner. I was having mini heart attacks.” I start laughing as I recall how odd it was the first time I saw them eat collectors.

“Why were you worried?”

“I kept thinking you guys were going to disappear and never come back. But I was so relieved because no matter how long he was gone, he always came back.”

“Not this time,” he says sadly.

“You know what you need, a party.”

Normally I would never even suggest such a thing. But I think it would go a long way in cheering Jay up.

“What are we celebrating?”

“This Saturday is February first. I’ll be sixteen.”

“You only get one of those. Trust me,” he says.

“So we’re gonna throw a party. It can be a happy birthday kind of thing but also a good bye to Reese. Not that the funeral wasn’t nice, but you know Reese would rather be surrounded by girls. ”

A broad smile spreads across his face. Miku learns of our plans a few minutes later. She goes to work planning it along with Jay. By the time I leave the house, the small party has become a huge bash. I was afraid of that.

There are kids at this party that I have never even seen before. But to Jay and Miku’s credit, they managed to get in a few kids that I could talk to. Much to my surprise, I’m having a pretty okay time.

That is, until I hear some girls talking about what a great couple Marcus and Ameana make. Why does hearing that make me so profoundly sad? Why can’t I turn off these feelings?

I go into Jay’s room to get my coat and take a walk. Once inside I see the piles of coats spread out on the bed. Sticking out of a dark thick leather jacket is small bottle of unopened vodka. Jay knew that someone would bring alcohol, and Marcus made him convince everyone that they would not drink at all tonight. So whoever it is that brought this won’t even try to drink it or even offer it to anyone.

I take a deep breath and turn to leave when I make the mistake of looking out the window again. Damn it. I slump down on the bed. The great feeling I had is gone. I turn over on my side, and facing me like a beacon of temptation is the bottle of vodka that Jay had forgotten to throw out. I take it and hold it up to the light. I crack open the seal. The smell is awful and overpowering. I’m drinking to forget. I can’t imagine how people drink this crap for pleasure. Well, enough thinking. Let’s hope this works.

After a few gulps, things start looking kind of funny. Like nothing is really balanced. I walk back into the party. “Hey, guess what?” I shout at the top of my lungs.

“What?” The crowd shouts.

“It’s my birthday!” I dance and spin around with no sense of control. The kids start cheering and laughing. I shout at them to be quiet and I make another announcement.

“I am gonna save you all.” They look at me with confusion. I start pointing to individual students and telling them that I am going to save them. When someone in the crowd asks me what I was saving them from, I said a guy named Art. He wanted to cook them with fire. But I would stop that from happening. They all play along with my bizarre proclamation.

“How are you gonna save us?” someone from the crowd yells.

“I’m gonna save you with this.” I hold up a long powerful sword like the one from Lord of the Rings. Only what I thought was a powerful sword turns out to be a carrot stick from the veggie platter Miku had ordered. Everyone laughs at me. I keep screaming at them over and over again to shut up.

The angels come for me, but I pull away and get on top of the table in the living room. Among the crowd stands Marcus and his love.

“Everyone make room for the great Marcus and Mimi. They are so in love, they kiss all the time like this.” I kiss and make out with the air, then burst out laughing. No one else thinks it is funny.

“Emmy, stop it,” Marcus scolds from below.

“Shut up. You can’t me tell anything.” Wait that wasn’t what I wanted to say. There was something wrong with that last sentence. Why are all my words slurred? And why are things in slow motion?

“Hey, do you guys know what they are? They’re Guardians.”

“Everyone out. Now.” The students all rush for the exit.

“Get down,” he orders me.

While I am not looking, Rio comes from behind and pulls me off the table.

“Get off me. It’s my birthday.

Everyone has gone home. The twins are on clean-up duty. Jay looks in his room to make sure he didn’t miss any other bottles of alcohol. It’s just me and the couple. Oh, joy!

I get low to the ground. That’s the only way the spinning will stop. Marcus comes down to the floor where I am. He whispers something in my ear softly.

“You don’t have to work so hard to let me know that you are hurting. I know, Em. I know.”

Tears now fall without hesitation. He holds me steadily and patiently.

“That’s it?” Ameana says incredulously.

“Everything is fine now,” Rio says.

“Like hell,” Ameana snaps.

“Mimi, calm down,” Miku says gently.

“I don’t believe this.”

“C’mon, Meana.. The past few days have been really hard on her.”

“And Marcus makes it all better, is that it?”

“This isn’t about us, Mimi.”

“No, it’s about what’s best for this team. And the best thing is to focus on Julian and find out everything we can about his last cycle with Femi. We don’t even need Emmy anymore.”

“We don’t know that she isn’t a part of this anymore. We can’t exclude her.”

“No, Marcus, you can’t exclude her. Every time I turn around you’re holding her. And then you make me out to be the jealous girlfriend. I’m getting really sick of it.”

“She just found out everything in life she believed to be true has all been a lie. Can you understand that?”

“Yes, I can understand that very well. I used to think that I mattered to you more than anything in the world, but now I have to constantly reevaluate that thought.”

“I can’t do this tonight. I’m gonna take her home.”

“Why does it have to be you?”

“I don’t care who it is. I don’t have time for this petty crap. I just want someone to get her cleaned up and take her home.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Why you?”

“What’s the matter, Marcus—you don’t trust her with me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Good, because I have to trust her with you all the time; it would be good to get a little of that trust back. Give her to me. I’ll take her home.”

There is silence. A moment later, I feel myself being picked up and lifted off the ground. I don’t need to open my eyes to see who is holding me. I would know Ameana’s scent anywhere. It smells like what a perfect sunrise would smell like. It’s the scent of wrath, power and impossible beauty. It’s alluring and impossible to duplicate. I tried at many perfume stores. Even her scent is one of a kind. Why had they let her take me home? She’ll “accidently” drop me into the Hudson River.

I think I passed out because everything went black. I’m not sure for how long. At least I didn’t throw up. Now that’s something to be proud of. I look around and I’m not sure where I am. As the haze begins to clear up, I can make out dark sky and cold metal beneath me. Ameana hovers above me.

“Ameana, where are we?”

“The Golden Gate Bridge.”

Panic is not the right word, but it’s the only thing that comes to mind. She took me to San Francisco to throw me off the bridge. I’m gonna die. My heart pounds inside my chest. At any moment now it is going to jump out of my body.

“Calm down, I’m not going to push you,” she says. I try to take the panic away from my voice.

“Then why are we here?”

“Look down.”

“I’m not scared of you Ameana,” I lie.

“Yeah, I got that impression. Maybe you should rethink that.”

“Screw you. Get me off of here.”

“I see you’ve sobered up.”

“Get me down,” I yell from somewhere in me that is too pissed off now to be scared.

“I brought you here to talk.”

“Ever hear of Starbucks?”

“I was actually feeling bad for you. I thought, this girl has some family issues. And let’s just say I’m more than a little familiar with family troubles. In fact, I think one of the major requirements to being chosen as a Guardian is that you have a messed up home life. But you can ask Marcus about that. Wait, you can’t because he has yet to tell you anything about his Core.”

“What’s your point?”

“The point is, I felt bad. I could relate and I gave you some slack. But now I see that you and I have nothing in common. For one thing you are the most selfish person I have ever met. And you don’t know my mother but she owned the rights to selfish. But you’ve even outdone her.”

“I gave him up. What else do you want?”

“He wasn’t yours to give.”

“Are we done here? ‘Cause you’re acting like a lunatic, and I’d like to go home.”

She waves her hand carelessly and lifts me off the pillar of the bridge. I am now in midair, just like her. But unlike her, I don’t have any wings. Terror washes over me. My face is frozen with fear. I stand perfectly still as if that will convince gravity not to take me down, should she decide to let me go.

“Watch how you speak to me, human. I’m trying really hard not to kill you. Help me, won’t you?”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to come to terms with the truth.”

“What truth?”

“You’re a liar, Emerson Baxter. You act and talk like you’re in love with Marcus. That can’t possibly be the case. Because if the most powerful human on Earth had told me that I would bring Marcus to the end of his life and the failure of his only mission, I would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen.”

“I gave him up.”

“Gave him up? Every time I turn around he’s rescuing you, holding you, comforting you….”

She’s right. I had not been the distant, unobtrusive girl that I said I was going to be. I had been in their love life, and even in their kiss. I wasn’t out of the picture. I was the picture.

I remain silent. She drops me and I quickly fall several feet. I scream all the way down. I’m going to hit water. I can’t swim. Even if I could, I’d still die. Oh, no. My mom will never stop crying.

I am halted in the air just as abruptly. Ameana flies down to my level.

“I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.”

“I hate you.”

“Yes, well there’s something we have in common after all.”

“Don’t drop me again, okay? If you want to get rid of me, then do, it but stop toying with me.” I am hardly able to get the words out.

“All this time I have been talking to you, I have done so as Marcus’ girlfriend. I love him and I want him to be protected. But now I am talking to you as the Second-in-Command. Don’t mix up the two. As his girlfriend, I want you to back off and get a life.”

“As the second Guardian, what do you want?”

“To succeed on this mission. Nothing else can matter besides that. I would even give up Marcus if that’s what the mission called for. I will do any and everything to ensure we are successful. And if you get in the way of that, I can circumvent Marcus by calling in the council and presenting my case to them.”

“You’d betray him like that?”

“I would even take myself out if that is what needs to happen.”

“I love him.”

“Than start acting like it and do what’s best for him. Let him go.”

“I can’t.”

“You will, or I will destroy you.”

She comes even closer and wipes the tears that are running down my face. She holds my face gently in the palm of her hand.

“Your courage is in your tears. Every time you cry, you lose a little bit more of it. That’s why you’re so breakable. Not because you’re human, because you’re always shedding courage from your eyes.”

I look away from her while keeping my face in her hand.

“Emmy, look at me.” I do as I am told.

“Cry for Marcus and the love you will never have with him. But then be done with it. Shed no more courage. You’ll need all of it to save the other humans.”

The thing that gets to me isn’t what she just said, it’s the thought that I am destroying Marcus by wanting him. I can’t allow that. So here, on the Golden Gate Bridge, I cry my last tears and say good bye to the thought of Marcus and Emmy, good bye to the love that really never stood a chance.