At the end of a tutoring session the next afternoon, Terri called her to the phone. "There's a little kid asking for you."
She picked up the receiver and said, "This is Miss Ashworth."
She heard a stifled sob on the other end. "I don't want to come anymore."
Her mind spun as the words cut into her heart. "Ricky? Is it you?"
"Yes. You don't like me. You just want to see my Dad."
The child was crying harder now. Rachel gripped the phone. Speaking intently she asked, "Are you upset about last night? I'm so sorry. We didn't think..."
There was a click and Ricky was gone. Alarmed, she could only think of one thing to do. She had to talk to Jonathon. She dialed his number and waited impatiently for the impersonal voice of the company operator. When her call had been directed to his office, she told the secretary,
"This is Rachel Ashworth. It's urgent that I reach Mr. Parker."
The reply was no surprise to Rachel. "I'm sorry. Mr. Parker is with a client. I can have him return your call."
"Please do." She hung up, knowing her curtness with the secretary should really have been directed at Jonathon. She brushed back tears welling in her eyes and headed for the safety of the back office.
She snatched a handful of tissue and dabbed at her eyes. Jonathon was in a meeting. Jonathon could not be disturbed. She balled the tissue into a knot and hurled it into the trash can.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Terri step tentatively into the doorway. "Feel like talking?"
Rachel nodded. "I feel just horrible. I can't believe what I've done."
Terri stepped inside. "It can't have been that bad."
"It is. I should never have started dating Jonathon. It's hurt Ricky and that should never have happened. I don't want him to feel like he has to compete for attention. He hardly sees Jonathon as it is."
"Is that what Ricky told you? Was that him on the phone?"
She nodded. Her eyes filled with fresh tears. "Poor little boy. He's had such a hard life. Now I've made it harder. We took him to the zoo yesterday and then left him with his grandmother while we went out last night."
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"It is bad. It's terrible. You didn't see him. He was so upset. He wanted to come along."
The bell on the door jingled. "That's my three-thirty appointment," Terri said. "Don't you have someone coming soon?"
"Yeah. In about fifteen minutes."
Terri patted her on the arm. "Don't worry. It will work out with Ricky. You'll see."
Alone in the back office, she let her eyes trail along the bookshelf which lined one wall. It was full of books on teaching methods and psychology. Reproachfully, she wondered if she should re-read them.
She could hear Terri's encouraging voice speaking to her young student. She sighed, feeling more depressed than angry, and stared at the phone. When would Jonathon call?
Pulling herself together, she returned to her cubicle and prepared for the child who was coming for help with math. She laid out games and flashcards and a few worksheets. Moments later, she heard the door open as her student entered.
He was a sturdy red-haired boy with freckles and a contagious grin. She usually enjoyed her sessions with Andy. Today, he reminded her of a little boy she had grossly betrayed.
By the end of the session she had accomplished one thing. She had calmed down and was thinking clearly. It was unlikely Ricky had found her number and dialed it all on his own. He must have had help. Most likely Nina assisted and encouraged him to vent his feelings. She had tried to undermine Rachel's efforts from the beginning. Now, she'd played right into Nina's hand.
After Andy left, she replayed the message Jonathon left on her answering device while she and Terri were tutoring. His voice was jovial, telling her she had missed her chance and he would be out for the rest of the afternoon. She would have to call him after work.
Perhaps that was best. In the privacy of her apartment, she would be free to talk. She certainly had a lot to say.
She pushed the problem to the back of her mind and made it through the rest of the afternoon. Their dinner break arrived and Terri brought in pizza. The smell of hot pepperoni and peppers failed to arouse her appetite as it usually did. She picked a piece of pepperoni from atop the cheese as Terri asked, "So what have you decided to do about Ricky?"
"It depends. If I can regain his trust, I'll keep tutoring him. If not, I guess I'll refer him to someone else. You want him?"
"No. I've seen what his grandmother's like."
"I understand. You’d be taking on a headache."
"What are you going to do about Jonathon?"
She picked off another piece of pepperoni. "I guess we quit seeing each other."
"Just like that? You've got to be kidding. The guy's gorgeous. Somebody's going to snare him. It might as well be you. Ricky could get used to it."
Rachel set down the slice of pizza. "If Jonathon short- changes Ricky by dating someone else, it won't be my fault. I'll hate not knowing where our relationship might have led, but I won't do it at Ricky's expense. It's important for him to know, right now, he comes first with his father."
"I wouldn't give Eric up just because he had a kid who threw a tantrum. Kids grow up and go away. Then, what do you have left? No one."
"Eric doesn't have any kids."
"I know. After seeing what you're going through, I'm glad."
They finished their pizza and prepared for their evening appointments. Rachel completed her sessions first and left Terri to lock up. As she drove home, she wondered if Ricky had still been upset when Jonathon returned home from their dinner date last night. Perhaps, Nina had confronted him with Ricky's distraught behavior. It would be like Nina to blame it on Rachel.
She called his number and he answered on the second ring. Taking a deep breath, she began, "How's Ricky? I've been worried all afternoon."
"Ricky? What's wrong with Ricky?" He sounded puzzled.
It was her turn for confusion. "I thought you would know. He called me this afternoon. He was crying and said he didn't want to see me again."
"What? Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure."
"He didn't say anything to me. I had to work a little late. Nina stayed to cook dinner and feed him. He's upstairs with her now getting ready for bed. Hold on a minute. I'll get him and see what's going on."
She sat tensely, straining to hear any conversation. Everything was quiet. After a few minutes she heard the murmur of voices come closer to the phone. Then Jonathon picked up the receiver. "I don't know what's going on. Ricky says he didn't call you. Nina doesn't know anything about it, either. Maybe it was a kid who sounded like Ricky."
She heard a soft click and knew someone was listening on the other end. Proceeding cautiously, she said, "I'm sure it was Ricky. I thought maybe he was still upset about being left at home when we went out."
"He seemed fine when I got home last night. He was asleep. Do you want to talk to him? Maybe you two can straighten this out."
"Yes. I would like to talk to him."
Jonathon's voice faded as he walked away from the phone and called, "Ricky, come down here a minute. Miss Ashworth wants to talk to you."
A moment later, Ricky's childish voice spoke timidly into the phone. "Hello."
"Hello, Ricky. This is Miss Ashworth. I was worried when you called me today. It's okay if you were upset. I'd like to talk about it. Were you sad because your dad and I left you last night?"
There was silence on the other end. She waited patiently until he said softly, "Uh huh."
"Is that why you said you didn't want to see me?"
Silence again. She waited, but there was no reply. "Ricky? Remember when you called me?"
When he didn’t answer, she said, "You called me today. Remember? Ricky...."
There was muffled conversation as the phone changed hands. "I sent him off to bed. I'm sure he doesn't know anything about this. Maybe some other kid called," Jonathon said.
She sighed in exasperation, knowing she would get nowhere. She would wait until Ricky came in to ask about it again. "Okay, maybe I was wrong. I guess it wasn't Ricky."
"I know you're wrong. Ricky's crazy about you. So am I. Can I see you this weekend?"
She stalled, not sure the problem with Ricky had been solved. "I'll have to see what's up. I may have to work late."
"Okay. I'll talk to you later in the week."
He paused, then added, "Don't worry about Ricky. I can't imagine anybody not liking you."
She gave a short laugh. She could imagine it. In fact, she knew of someone right now, someone who was probably listening to their conversation.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll talk to you later."
When he hung up, she held the receiver, waiting for the second soft click. When she heard it, irritation balled into a hard knot in her stomach. What was the woman up to, denying any knowledge of Ricky's call? Did she want Jonathon to think Rachel was crazy? Or was she crazy herself?
She struggled to think it through. Maybe Nina hoped to discredit her in Jonathon's eyes. Perhaps she thought, he would ask her to discontinue taking Ricky to be tutored. Then, she could have Ricky all to herself, as she seemed to want.
Whatever her motive, Rachel had no intention of allowing Nina to manipulate her. She would continue to see Ricky and hold off on any accusations until she had proof that Nina was trying to interfere with his progress. As her anger subsided, she realized that Nina was not only strange, she might be dangerous.
She went over the whole thing again in her mind. Nina must be resentful of Jonathon's interest in Rachel. It seemed logical to assume she felt it a betrayal of her late daughter. If Rachel hoped to continue her relationship with either Ricky or Jonathon, she would have to step carefully through the mine field Nina would lay.
She thought of the verses from Psalm 42 she had read in her daily devotion. Her enemy seemed to taunt her, not taking into account her reliance on God. She must do as the psalmist and put her hope in God, trusting she would yet praise Him in all that was happening. As she prepared for bed, her taut nerves and muscles began to relax.
On Wednesday, Nina accompanied Ricky inside when she arrived for his appointment. Her small mouth was painted bright red. Her make-up, though thickly caked to hide her wrinkles, had been carefully applied. Her tinted hair was smoothly brushed. She had obviously taken great pains to look her best.
With a pleasant smile, she took a seat in the wicker chair. "You run along Ricky and see what Miss Rachel has for you. Grandma will wait right here."
Their eyes met and Rachel saw the flicker of challenge. The confidence in her face, announced she had no doubt she would get her way. She would put Rachel in her place once and for all.
Taking Ricky's hand, Rachel turned away. Determination burned in her soul. No amount of effort from this woman, who lived with the bitterness of her daughter's death, was going to spoil Ricky or Jonathon's chance for happiness. Not if she could help it.
She led Ricky to the privacy of the cubicle and picked up a stack of cards for a phonics drill. "When we finish these, we'll write a story together. You can take it home for your dad." She knew writing for Jonathon was one of Ricky's favorite learning activities.
Instead of his usual enthusiasm, he surveyed her with large solemn eyes. There was such sadness there that she longed to take him in her arms and give him a hug. She wanted to assure him that the world would not turn upside down on him again. Yet she didn't dare risk it until she knew how much of the phone call had been his idea.
"Okay. What sound does the "sh" make?" she asked brightly.
She praised him as he correctly answered each card in the deck. His small face remained impassive, oblivious to her praise. Hoping to gain his interest, she took out a large sheet of lined paper. There was a blank spot at the top for a picture.
"Let's write a story. You can help me spell the words. What would you like to write about?"
"A boy who lives at the zoo," he replied.
"Okay. Let's call it "At the Zoo". You help me spell it out."
She wrote the title under the space for the picture.
"Tell me something about this boy," she prompted.
"He has a pet."
She smiled. "A dog, I bet."
He shook his head. "No. That big, fat thing with the horn that nothing can hurt."
"You mean the rhinoceros?"
"Ah huh."
"Does the boy live with the rhinoceros?"
"Yeah. They have a house behind the fence and nobody can come in unless the boy wants them to 'cause the rhinoceros won't let them."
"Oh really? Let's write some of this down. You help me." She wrote the story, realizing she was more interested in what was going on in his mind than she was his education.
When they finished, she read it back. "There was a boy who lived at the zoo. He lived in a house with his pet. Here is a picture of his pet.”
They read the story together twice and then, she invited him to draw a picture. He picked up a black crayon and hesitated. "I'd let you in my house," he said.
"Would you Ricky?" The guilt she was carrying lifted a bit.
"Yes. I'd let Dad in, too."
"What about your Grandma?"
"No." Ricky was emphatic.
"Why not?"
"She made me say bad things. Do you still like me?"
"Of course I do. Are you talking about when you called me?"
He nodded.
"Did she tell you what to say?"
He nodded again. "Are you mad at me?"
"Of course not, but why didn't you tell your dad what happened?"
"Grandma told me not to say I called you."
Her anger flared. It was hard to imagine anyone using a child the way Nina was using Ricky. And to tell him to lie! That was even worse.
"Let's play a word game before you draw the rhinoceros," she said.
When they finished the game, there was only ten minutes left in the session. Handing him the story paper and crayons, she said, "I'm going to talk to your grandmother while you draw your picture."
He looked up quickly. His dark eyes were alarmed. "I wasn't supposed to tell you she made me call. She'll be mad if you tell her."
She patted the child's slender shoulder. "I won't tell her you told me."
She paused as she rounded the cubicle and uttered a silent prayer. She would need more insight than she possessed if she were to handle this difficult woman.
Nina looked up as she approached. With a bored gesture, she plopped the magazine through which she had been browsing onto the wicker coffee table. "Where's Ricky? Isn't he done?"
"Almost. I'll get him in a minute. I wanted to talk to you first. I'd like you to know it was obvious from the minute Ricky called that you'd put him up to it. If you have something to say to me, I wish you'd say it yourself and not use Ricky." She drew a deep breath and tried to control her breathing which was ragged from the unaccustomed stress of confrontation.
Nina glared at her. "Use Ricky? How can you say that to me, when you're using him yourself? You take this poor little boy who misses his mother and use him to date his father and you accuse me of using him?"
Rachel felt stunned by the ridiculousness of the charge. "Jonathon came to me for help with Ricky. All I've tried to do is help him."
Nina's pert red mouth drew into a condescending smile. "Jonathon may believe that, but I certainly don't."
Before Rachel could reply, she heard Ricky's childish voice behind her. "I'm finished. Do you want to see my picture?"
Turning slowly, she forced a smile. She knelt down and gingerly took his drawing. "It's wonderful. It looks just like the rhinoceros we saw at the zoo. You take it home and read the story to your father, okay?"
"Okay." He grinned.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Nina rise. "Time to go," she said, briskly.
Mutely, she watched them file out the door. She retreated to the bathroom to compose herself, startled by the white face that stared back from the mirror. Why was she so shaken by Nina's ugly words? Maybe she feared they contained a small kernel of truth. Perhaps it would be better for Ricky if she had not entered his personal life. Dating Jonathon might have been a mistake. Yet, her heart told her she was wrong. Ricky needed her.
Thursday morning, she called Ricky’s teacher for a weekly consultation about his progress in school. Paula said, "He's doing better, but I don't believe he's getting his medication consistently. He was okay yesterday, but he missed it on Tuesday. I wrote a note home to his father about it."
"I doubt his father ever saw it. His grandmother picks him up."
"I know. She hasn't been very cooperative when I've spoken to her."
Rachel sighed. "I don't think she likes either of us. It's been hard for her to share Ricky since her daughter died."
"It's a tragic situation, but she's not helping Ricky if she can't care for him properly."
"I'll talk to his dad," Rachel promised, wondering if Jonathon would listen.
She didn't have to wait long to find out. He called just after she got home. "I've been thinking about you all day. If you're not busy Saturday night, we could go out to dinner. There's an opening for an art exhibit over at the Exhibition Center. I thought you might like to see it afterwards."
"I would. That would be fun."
"Can I pick you up at six-thirty?"
"Better make it seven. Terri is going to be off Saturday afternoon and I have to squeeze in some of her students."
She hesitated, fidgeting with the phone cord. She hated to bring up Ricky's problems every time Jonathon called. Deciding to take the plunge, she said, "I talked to Ricky's teacher today."
"Oh." In one word, an emotional distance arose between them.
"She said Ricky was off his medication on Tuesday. It's not the first time it's happened. Nina took him off of it for several days when he broke his arm. We can't help Ricky if she undermines his treatment."
"She's an old woman. She probably forgot."
Rachel's ire rose as she remembered her confrontations with Nina. "I don't think she forgot at all. She resents everyone who's trying to help him."
There was silence between them until Jonathon said accusingly, "Aren't you being a little hard? She does everything for him when I'm not here. I don't know what I'd do without her. If she's not kind to you, it's because she misses Eva. She knows Ricky likes you and she doesn't want him to forget his mother."
"But this isn't about me. It's about Ricky and how she takes care of him."
"Nina loves Ricky."
"It's not the right kind of love. She wants him all to herself and uses him to keep the rest of us out of his life."
He sighed. "I think you're over-reacting, but I'll talk to her. I'll remind her to keep him on his medication. Will that make you happy?"
Disliking to be patronized, she replied sharply, "I brought this up because Ricky is your son and I thought you should know. What you do with the information is up to you."
"I know. I said I'll talk to her and I will." He sounded defeated.
Her heart softened. It was hard for him to suddenly balance a child, a grieving old woman, and a demanding tutor. Would she do better if she were him?
As her irritation subsided, she said, "You're a good father. Ricky loves you, you know. Did he read you the story we wrote together, yesterday?"
"No. I got home late last night."
"Ask to see it. It's about our trip to the zoo."
"I will. Thanks for all you've done."
Hi willingness to acknowledge her help soothed her ruffled feelings. "You're welcome."
"See you Saturday."
Her anticipation was already building. "I'll be ready."
She hung up with mixed feelings. She’d lost her heart to this man and his son. Was she too close to manage a proper perspective? Perhaps she had read too much into Nina's possessiveness. If she kept an open mind about the woman, maybe they could still become friends.
Feeling as though she had done all she could for Ricky, she decided to relax. Padding to the bathroom, she turned on the bath water and poured a packet of strawberry scented powder into the tub. When it had filled, she slipped into the fragrant water. Letting her worries drift away, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm, steamy thickness of the strawberry scented air.
When she was fully relaxed, she drained the tub and dressed in a soft cotton gown. She poured a cup of decaffeinated coffee and turned on the news. While she listened, she picked up the stack of mail and sorted through the letters. There was a phone bill and a sweepstakes notification and, on the bottom, a letter addressed to her in unfamiliar writing.
She opened the letter first. It was so short that she scanned it in a glance. "Stay away from Jonathon and leave Ricky alone or you'll make me do things I don't want to do."
It was signed, "Eva Parker."
She dropped the letter as though it was afire. Eva was Nina's dead daughter. Rachel shuddered as she wadded the note into a ball. She had been right after all. Nina was a disturbed woman. Only someone mentally off-balance would have written a note which she signed as her deceased daughter.
She stared at the rumpled paper, as though it were an evil thing. Why couldn't Nina give up the past and let Jonathon and Ricky go on with their lives? Worse yet, what did she plan to do if Rachel kept seeing Jonathon and Ricky?
On impulse, she picked up the note and smoothed it out. Folding it carefully inside the envelope, she placed it into her purse. Until now, she had possessed nothing concrete to convince him of Nina's oddities. Now, she had the note. When she saw Jonathon on Saturday, she could decide if she should show it to him.
She got home from her Saturday sessions with little time to dress before Jonathon was to arrive. She touched up her make-up and smoothed her hair. Then she changed from her slacks and rib knit sweater to a tailored dress that matched her green eyes. She was ready just before Jonathon rang the bell.
He stood before her, dark suit fitted to his broad shoulders. The bouquet of carnations he held was at odds with the masculinity of his presence. He held them out to her, his eyes lighting with pleasure at her smile. "Are these still your favorites?"
"Yes. Thanks. They're beautiful. I can't believe you remembered after all these years. Come in while I put them in water."
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "There's not much I've forgotten about you. You like carnations, cats, chocolate covered cherries, and Italian food. You don't like spiders, horror movies, chili dogs, or snakes. Has much changed from the information I've stored?"
"Not much. Let's see what I can remember about you."
She pursed her lips as she arranged the flowers in a vase. "You always liked science fiction, detective shows, and sport cars."
He grinned. "Not much change there, either."
She set the vase on the table and stepped back to admire the effect. "This really was thoughtful of you. Thanks."
He stood behind her and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. Leaning down, he spoke near her ear. "I've always thought of you like a flower, innocent and pure, going your own sweet way despite the corruption of the rest of the world."
She shivered as his warm lips caressed her ear with these words of esteem. "I've got my share of bad habits. I hope you won't be disappointed when you discover them."
"I could never be disappointed in you." He turned her to face him. As she raised her eyes slowly to his, she felt her heart twist in her chest. Would she be disappointed again?
As he bent to touch her lips softly with his own, she knew she could never again pretend their relationship centered only on a concern for Ricky. It was about the two of them, picking up the pieces that had been shattered so long ago. Could she trust him with her heart? Would he become the man God desired him to be?
Looking into his dark eyes, she saw a depth of longing that reached to his soul. "I could stay here all evening just looking at your face. However, I did promise you a dinner. Are you ready to go?"
She nodded. Scooping up her purse, she preceded him out the door and into the mild evening. The moon, round and low, was rising on the horizon.
The smell of succulent steak drifted from a barbeque in progress on a nearby patio. The reaction of her stomach told her the pack of cheese crackers she had eaten in a hurried lunch had not been sufficient.
"I made reservations at a small French restaurant. I'm going to lure you into trying one of their pastries. They have a terrific bakery.
"Sounds good to me. I hardly had a chance to eat lunch today. Terri took the afternoon off to go to a picnic at Eric's company."
They stopped at a light and Jonathon's eyes rested sympathetically on her face. "It sounds like you've been holding up Terri's end of the load a lot lately. Aren't you supposed to be equal partners?"
He was right. Yet in loyalty to her long-time friend, she answered, "Terri can’t help it. She’s always falling in love. After awhile it passes and she throws herself back into her work."
"I don't know. It sounds like she may be serious about this guy." The light changed and he turned his attention back to the road.
She admitted to herself that Terri was more committed to this relationship than to any she'd had before. She'd taken off twice during the last week to meet Eric for lunch, leaving Rachel to complete the monthly expense accounts by herself. She'd bitten her lip to keep from complaining when Terri had come back a half-hour late each time wearing a radiant expression.
They parked at the restaurant and Jonathon turned to her. "I want to ask you something before we go in. Ricky has spring break the week after next. I've arranged to take the whole day off on Monday."
He paused, knowing she would approve, though he knew he'd have to work extra hard to make up the workload. "We'll take the boat out and go to Lake Livingstone for a picnic and some water skiing. You've been covering for Terri lately. Do you suppose she could cover for you and you could come along?"
She caught her lip between her teeth, trying to think it through. The last time she had made it a threesome, the results had been unsettling. As though reading her mind, he said, "I talked it over with Ricky and he really wants you to come. We both do."
She grinned. "I can't resist the two of you. If Ricky wants me to come, I'll see what I can do."
"Great. Now, since we're both starved, let's eat."
After a filling meal, she walked out with a sigh of contentment. "That was so good it almost inspires me to take up French cooking."
Jonathon held the car door for her to slip inside. "I remember you being a good cook. You made me a lot of great brownies."
She laughed. "That's the problem. I only learned to bake desserts."
"That works for me."
She watched him walk around the car. His thick dark hair was tousled from the breeze, his brows knit in a thoughtful expression. She longed to hold him close and run her fingers through the wayward tresses, to smooth his dark brows with her lips, casting out any thoughts except those of her. As he slid into the car beside her, she remembered the feel of his lips when he kissed her in the apartment.
"Still want to look at art? The reception lasts until ten."
Feeling as though her thoughts had betrayed her, she felt a flush creep to her cheeks. "Yes. I'd like to see it."
At the exhibit, he explained, "My firm is one of the sponsors for this show. I thought it would be interesting to see where some of our corporate funds are going."
It was interesting. The collection spanned over a hundred years, with landscapes from early European masters to more modern twentieth century work. Though neither of them knew much about the critique of fine art, they had fun decorating an imaginary house with paintings from the collection.
When the exhibit closed, he linked his arm around her waist for the walk to the car. Held close against his side, she felt cherished and protected. It had been a long time since she'd felt such desire to belong, body and heart, to any man.
After he drove her home, they paused at her door. She laced her arms around his neck. Their lips met in a gentle kiss and she knew those lips would haunt her dreams.
"I better be getting in. I have a Sunday school lesson to finish for tomorrow," she murmured, breaking the spell.
"That's okay. I have to get back. Nina won't want me to stay out too late."
She had forgotten all about the rest of the world. When she was alone with Jonathon, it was as though time, and the rest of creation, ceased to exist. She was conscious only of the magnetic presence of his personality.
He brushed her hair gently off her cheek. "I can hardly stand to be away from