EPILOGUE
Ellie’s bruises had finally started to fade. From greenish-blue to purple and then to mustardy-yellow, they’d covered half the colors of the rainbow. The gash where the knife had sliced across her neck had scabbed over, but the doctors had warned her she would bear a scar.
Her back rested against the smooth trunk of an ancient fig tree in the middle of Sydney’s Hyde Park. Clayton’s head rested in her lap. She moved her position slightly in an effort to lessen the dull throb in her chest. The broken ribs were still healing. She was glad that was the only damage.
Drawing in a deep breath of the warm spring sunshine, heavily perfumed with an abundance of flowers, she stroked a hand over Clayton’s stubbled cheeks.
“Mm, that feels nice,” he murmured, his eyes remaining closed.
Her fingers moved into his hair and massaged gently over his scalp.
“Ah, I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. Don’t stop, please.” A grin tugged at his lips and she found her lips pulling upward in response.
“You’re a man easily pleased, Munro.”
His eyes opened, and he squinted up at her through the dappled sunlight. “A psychopathic murderer dead and buried. A day off to have a picnic in the park with a beautiful woman; what’s not to like about that?”
She shuddered at the mention of Lex Wilson. Clayton’s eyes darkened with concern.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have mentioned him.”
Ellie bit her lip to keep it from wobbling and drew in a deep breath. “I can’t believe he’d killed for so long. When he started talking about all those poor women he’d murdered over the past three years. He actually laughed when he told us he only chose the ones no one loved.”
Clayton nodded in grim agreement. “I still can’t get over how he went from making wooden dolls to creating a doll from human body parts. I mean, what kind of sick bastard does that?”
“He did have a tough childhood.”
“Lots of people have tough childhoods. It doesn’t turn them into homicidal maniacs.”
She thought of Wilson’s wife and young children. Though Ellie harbored some doubts the woman was as shocked by the discovery of her husband’s actions as she’d claimed, there was simply not enough evidence to charge her as an accessory.
It was the children Ellie felt sorry for. She couldn’t imagine the devastation Wilson’s secret life would wreak on their lives. Still, there was nothing she could do about it. Besides, she was having enough trouble getting her head sorted.
Ellie shuddered. She was lucky to be alive. She knew that. Wilson was dead. The city was safe. She was safe.
As if sensing her fragility, Clayton sat up and shuffled across the picnic rug until he was close to her side. A strong arm came around her and pulled her to his chest.
She sighed. “I’m okay. It’s just that…sometimes I can’t bear to think about it… And Jamie…”
Clayton shook his head. “I still can’t believe the bastard was the hit and run driver who killed him. It seems absolutely incredible, and yet the proof was there. We’ll never know why.”
“That’s part of the reason I’m still not sleeping well. I’ll never have those answers. Did he mean to kill my son? Was it an accident?”
Clayton hugged her tightly. “Give it time. It’s only been a few weeks. And you came so close. I can’t imagine how terrified you must have been. People take months, years even, to get over that kind of trauma.”
Remembered fear weighed down her limbs. “I’m so glad you got there in time,” she whispered.
The look in his eyes intensified. He pulled her in hard against him. “I thought I was going to lose you. The terror I felt when I got your message—my entire world came crashing down around me. I’d only just found you. I’d only just given myself permission to love again and you were snatched from me. It was happening all over again.” His voice broke.
His hold on her tightened, his expression fierce. A few moments later, he drew in a deep breath and released it on a shudder. “I can barely remember what went on that night. I know I practically forced Ben to give me a gun. And when I had to go up in that damned cart, I thought I was going to die. But fear of heights or not, there was no way in the world I was going to sit back and let someone else do their best to save you. It mightn’t have been good enough.”
Ellie’s voice was muffled against the soft cotton of his T-shirt. “You couldn’t save Lisa, so you wanted to save me.”
Another shudder went through him. It was a long moment before he responded. “I lied to you, Ellie.”
Apprehension knotted in her stomach. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. He drew in a deep breath and let it out on a sad sigh.
“What is it, Clayton?”
He met her gaze. “You asked me once if I’d ever buried a child and I told you no. But the truth is, I have.”
She stared at him, confused. “Why would you lie about it?”
He shrugged, his eyes willing her to understand. “You were upset with me about Jamie. I didn’t want to trivialize his death with my own story.”
“What happened?” she asked softly.
Clayton stared off across the park, his gaze clouded with memories. Ellie found his hand and squeezed it, reassured when he returned the pressure.
“Dominic was the reason Lisa and I were married. Not that we weren’t going to anyway, but we’d always planned to do it after we’d finished college, put some money behind us first, that sort of thing.”
His gaze bounced off hers. “Lisa went into labor early. He was born premature. Way too premature.” Another ragged breath. Ellie tightened her hold and remained silent.
Pain etched itself on his face. “He only lived two days.”
Her stomach clenched. She felt his quiet sadness and then she felt her guilt. She’d accused him of not knowing what it meant to bury a child. She’d felt so self-righteous in her grief, as if her grief meant more than his. She’d been a selfish, self-centered bitch.
And he hadn’t said a word.
“Clayton.” She rasped his name. A lump of self-loathing lodged itself in her throat. “How you must have hated me.”
Surprise flooded his face. “Hated you? Why would I hate you?”
She shrugged helplessly. “The things I said to you, accused you of. You never once defended yourself. I was such a bitch. I can’t believe how selfish and conceited and awful I was. And you didn’t say anything.”
“I wasn’t trying to score points with you, Ellie. You were hurting as much as I was. None of us can really know how someone else grieves.” He leaned over to brush a loose strand of hair off her face, his touch tender and full of love. “All we can hope is to understand at least a part of their need to do it in their own way, and in their own time. And make sure they know that we’ll be there waiting for them when it’s over.”
The breath left her body in a rush. She threw her arms around him. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
He kissed her softly, mindful of her injuries. “I love you, too, Ellie. More than I ever dreamed possible. I can’t wait for you to move in with me and start our life together.”
Ellie pulled back as uncertainty filled her. “You want me to move to Canberra?”
He nodded, his eyes shadowed with hope. “Would you do that?”
Emotions overwhelmed her. There was a little sadness at the thought of leaving Sydney, but mostly joy at the thought of sharing a new life with Clayton. Noticing the increasing tension around his mouth, she offered him an encouraging smile. “Are you sure you want that right away? What about Olivia? What is she going to say?”
Clayton’s face lit up. “I think she’ll be happy that her daddy is happy. It’s been a long time since she’s seen me smile. Really smile.”
“I hope she likes me.”
Clayton pulled her close and pressed another kiss on her lips. “She’ll love you as much as I do. There’s nothing surer.”