Leave it to Taylor to drag me to a fancy restaurant later at seven pm just after the news bulletin on the radio. And I have to say none of the heinous headlines I heard compared with my present life crisis. Yes crisis. When the taxi had pulled at his house I had thought of curling on the bed and pretend I was having one of those nightmares. But he drags me here instead. In this fancy place with dim lights and soft music as if we are celebrating an occasion. And I proudly announce that I didn’t say a syllable to him. And I plan to not say anything to him as we sit on our table and I’m holding a menu to my face which I am not even reading.
‘Are you going to keep on ignoring me?’ he asks behind the menu on my face.
What is he expecting? A honey moon? Since we are married traditionally and all? And I have watched too many thrillers to not be tempted to pound him and shut him in the closet if he so much as touches a hair on my body.
‘Heather!’
I contemplate hitting him with the menu but it’s not hard enough. I tighten my hold on the thing before I put my violent thoughts into actions.
‘Are you ready to order?’ of course the cheery waitress comes to disturb my hiding place with her cheesy smile and bating eyes. Oh she is just doing her job but I don’t remember flirting with good looking guests as part of the work responsibilities. Well I can almost forgive her since the man is too attractive for his own good and I am currently furious with him I don’t care if he smiles back at her. Giving her encouragement. Like he is doing now.
I narrow my eyes at them and the waitress scurries away like a frightened cat while Taylor sits back in his chair, a grin tugging at his lips. If he grins I swear—
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this mad before.’ He says, ‘I ordered for you I hope you don’t mind!”
My mouth lifts into a sneer, ‘I don’t mind.’ I resound him, sounding like a twisted creep who has already murdered half the actors in a horror movie, ‘of course I don’t mind… you can just do whatever you want, even marry me behind my back.’
He chuckles. Wild and I freeze, with wide furious eyes, my heart beating rapidly. How can he laugh so easily at a time like this?
‘Did you just laugh?’ I continue with my creepy tone
He clears his throat, ‘no.’ he deadpans, ‘I have never heard of anyone marrying behind someone’s back before.’
I fold my hands on my lap before the urge to bang the table loudly overcomes me.
‘Why—no- how could you do such a thing?’
He better give me a good answer or I swear—
‘I wasn’t going to let you marry Charles!’ he says simply. Like that is an explanation. And he better not try to be evasive with me I don’t mind chortling the answers out of him. ‘I wasn’t planning this Heather I promise.’
‘Oh I get the feeling that you were planning a lot of things Taylor.’
‘Please calm down and let me explain.’
‘Calm down.’ I hiss, ‘you are not marrying you.’
‘You have something against marrying me or marriage all together?’
The death glare I cast at him makes him blink a little.
‘I know how this seems Heather and I’m sorry… I couldn’t think of any other way to get you out of there.’
Get me out of there. Is he talking like he just saved the day? I just went deeper into the crap because of him.in fact I would have had a better chance of escape out of my situation if he hadn’t showed up in the first place.
‘Why did you follow me home?’
‘Don’t you think that’s irrelevant right now?’
‘No it’s a relevant question and I want the answer. What did you talk about in father’s office and don’t even try to sell me the traditional cultural crap because that’s what it is—a load of lies, I have been in that office before.’
‘What do you think this is about?’
Why is he asking me questions when I want answers? Why is he infuriating me even more? I can see that he is doing all he can to dodge this topic. I thought he wanted to explain and I feel like I am the one being interviewed.
This is just stupid, why am I even putting up with this? I don’t want this. I want to break free from father’s arrangements for once.
‘I thought you wanted to explain.’
He regards me with that look that makes his eye color change. ‘You wanted to leave!’
‘What?’
Why is he talking about that considering that I never got to leave in the first place? Man I almost had a heart attack back there like I am about to have one now.
‘You were just going to leave without even hearing me out.’
‘It doesn’t matter to me, I don’t want to stay with you Taylor I don’t like you that way.’
‘Don’t lie to yourself.’
I scoff, ‘you are the one lying to both of us.’
‘why would you say that?’ the man manages to look offended by the prospect that I think he may be a little confused about what he feels for me. I am no expect in this field but there is no way Taylor would want to spend the rest of his life with me, we are worlds apart and did I mention that I consider him dangerous right now. I really quite don’t remember what I had based that theory on but it felt reasonable enough for me to want to run back to Charles
‘We are practically strangers.’ I’m not sure I could explain this one to him, ‘I mean- who are you?’
As I say the words out loud they become too real. Who was Taylor? Who was he really beyond the Business Ethics tutor and the form of my obsession? He must be something to have made father release me when he needed me to take care of such a huge debt. To make Charles bow out of the issue and it seems everyone just succumbed to his wishes. There was no fight, there were no second thoughts. And yes, they didn’t even stay long in father’s office, meaning it didn’t take long for the man to change his mind and chase me out of the house.
He understands the depth of my question because his dark brown eyes are now covered with a glassy color and I know there is a story behind that.
‘What do you mean Heather?’ he says the opposite anyway and I have run out of patience. I’m not sure what I have gotten myself into but I don’t feel good about it.
I feel bile rise to my throat. Oh please I don’t feel good about most things in my existence. And wasn’t I just trying to live my motto to stay invisible?
I can say that didn’t go so well considering that here I am now with a stranger. Yes, he has suddenly become a stranger now. Reality does that to you. Makes you to see things for what they are.
It breaks cruelly into your day dream with its realistic events and bends your fantasies to ugly truths you can’t escape. I hate reality.
I close my eyes and run a hand on my forehead. I have an imaginary headache and its paining me badly.
‘What do you mean who am I Heather?’
I raise my head, ‘what don’t you get? You seem to know Charles and father seem to know you—and if by some crazy coincidence that is the case I want to know how and why’
He narrows his eyes thoughtfully, ‘do you really know what your father does for a living?’
I shrug, ‘besides squandering money from loan sharks and construction I have no idea.’ I snap, ‘tell me why three grown men came to the conclusion of this arrangement?’
‘I already told you that, I don’t want you to leave, he was not going to stop chasing after you.’
‘You don’t want me to leave or father wouldn’t stop chasing after me which one is the reason.’
‘Both,’
‘First of all, leaving is my decision, you have no right to hold me here against my will.’
He shrugs nonchalantly, ‘well that boat has already sailed, and you can’t leave me.’
I stare at him and he stares back. What have I just gotten myself into?
‘You--,’ I search for the words, hopefully ones that would knock him out of his chair in a heartbeat. But he suddenly seem so tired. Whatever they unloaded on each other in that office couldn’t be good. If he thinks this is enough to tie me to him my whole life he got it all wrong. I am leaving, starting now
I push my chair out and yes that surprises him and I’m on my feet the same instant.
‘Heather!’ I hear him as I march out of the restaurant.
I increase my pace, snaking past the sea of bodies. It’s past seven pm and people are returning home from work. The streets are swarmed. I feel tears sting in my eyes.
I have reached the third stage now. First was shock, anger and now I am terrified and depressed. He really meant it when he said that he won’t let me leave. Somehow that scares the crap out of me. Something must be wrong in my lifetime for me to keep meeting all these creepy people. To have been birthed by the creepiest person on earth. Father is creepy.
I should have known he is creepy, why does that surprise me? The man never bothered to show up my whole life. I only saw mother back then. And then he came up when I was caged in a jail cell and signed a deal with my perpetrator. And he just did it again
Except Taylor is not a perpetrator. He could be my second night mare. So what happens to me now? What is the man planning to do with me? The whole marriage thing is a load of crap, and I have seen enough horrors to recognize crap when I see it.
I hug my arms as I wait by the zebra crossing. The traffic is a nightmare during this time. I join a small group of pedestrians who are waiting to cross to the other side.
And of course it dawns on me that I have no way of escape, no money, not even my cell phone. Taylor made me leave all the things in his house. Or maybe I was just too disoriented to even carry anything.
And as much as it pains me to do, I turn around and start making my way back to the restaurant. I hate this feeling. This being so helpless like I am at the moment. And the funny thing is that no matter how much I hate it I can’t seem to escape from the bondage.
I imagine I am wearing a menacing look as I sight him standing coolly in front of the place. Like he has no worry in the world. The tyrant.
He smiles gently when he sees me. It almost seems like a fond smile, but I won’t fall for that.
My head and my heart are at war regarding this issue. No matter how infuriating and ridiculous it is, I still feel a familiar tingle when I see him. And when he comes closer to me and wears his jacket on my shoulders. Invading me with that bewitching scent of his.
‘You knew I had no way of running!’
His lips curl into a half smile, he’s not even denying it. ‘Stop running off, I told you that you are not good at it.’
I contemplate stomping on his foot. But that would be childish. And tantrums are not getting through to him. In fact the man is so relaxed about this, of course he is, he has all the data and I am just the third party in all this. I hate that as well.
He holds my shoulders, draws me to him and plants a long feeling kiss on my forehead. My traitorous eyes close as his warm lips touch my skin.
It was easier to run from Charles, I wasn’t attracted to him.
‘Let’s go home,’ he whispers.
‘Home? In case you forgot I was kicked out of mine.’
He draws away a little to look into my eyes, ‘your home is with me now.’
Yes, and that simple statement manages to take my breath away. Maybe I am an incurable romantic. And I am rendered speechless. It’s not fair that he has to affect me this way. It’s a crime in fact, a big wrong.
He hails a taxi and soon we are cuddled in the back seat on the way to Taylor’s house. Point of correction, he has me possessively snuggled against him. Yes that description makes me feel better.
‘I didn’t buy you Heather if that’s what you are thinking!’
‘But you did bring out money!’ I accuse,
‘It was not for buying you.’
I shift out of his arms and I sit facing him. ‘So what happens now?’
He searches my face for a moment, ‘whatever you mean.’
‘What do you want to do with me?’
‘What kind of question is that?’
‘Why are you not answering my questions straight up like a normal person?’
‘Like a normal person—and I am not.’
‘No normal person do what you did- you just barge into people’s lives and cause havoc.’
He leans over to me and I lean away, ‘you did the same to me—and I will answer your questions, right now is not the time.’
I narrow my eyes, ‘I say that it is—I won’t be able to sleep all night until I get what this is all about.’
A half grin, ‘maybe you won’t be sleeping.’
I lean further away, ‘you are crazy, and don’t you dare touch me.’
He keeps inching closer, ‘why that’s surprising—I thought we were already past this phase last night.’
I feel heat going to my face as my heart sky rockets into a rapid beat, ‘that’s different.’
‘How is that different, we are married now, it shouldn’t be a problem.’
I glare at him, ‘that’s because of you, you – married me behind my back,’
‘Yes you already said that.’
I glance at the back of the taxi man’s head. Either the man is a total creep (that wouldn’t surprise me because everyone around me is turning out to be creepy.) Or he is enjoying this and can’t read an SOS situation when he sees one.
Taylor moves away and returns to sit place to my relief. I sit up straight and still inch away from him.
‘This is weird. You only wanted to sleep with me out of wedlock.’
‘Stop mention the marriage thing it’s creeping me out.’ I snap.
He smiles, ‘still this is kind of interesting, maybe I should have waited a bit.’
‘So are you saying that you married me for that?’
He gives me a steady gaze, ‘I told you that I want everything, this is one of those things.’
I turn away from him and look out the window, he had been the reasonable one last night and then turned when I mentioned leaving. What is wrong with him? I am pretty much freaked out already, why he is creeping me out some more.