Chapter 22
Graduation today was a mere distraction in my otherwise thoroughly messed up life. After receiving my diploma, I had to explain to my friends and teachers why my mom hadn't been there. "She had to travel to visit her very ill sister," I explained. I felt her absence deeply. I hate that the days are dragging on too long. We should have left by now and should have saved my mom. It is torturous that we are still stuck here waiting, especially since I don't know how much longer I will need to wait until Anthony and I can embark on our rescue mission.
Ashley confirms with me that I'll be at the graduation party, and she gives me a hard time about not having been at prom the night before. I just tell her that since Anthony and I are dating now, we decided to do something else instead. She doesn't question me about it, being a little wrapped up in her almost boyfriend, Jimmy. I promise her I'll be at the graduation party, even though I don't feel like going. Anthony says that we need to keep up appearances, but it only makes me suspicious of him, and makes me think he is stalling. Proceeding with life as usual, in my opinion, is a waste of precious time. Nobody is watching us and nobody will miss us, except for maybe Ashley.
Our after graduation party is held at Christopher's on East, and the decked out ballroom is packed with seniors. A black banner with 'Congratulations Sarasota High School Seniors' written in gold hangs from the ceiling. Dozens of roundtables with white tablecloths and white covered chairs with black bows on them have been set up. I arrive with Anthony and we sit down at the table with Ashley, Jimmy, and another couple we don't know, but who disappear a few minutes after they arrive, probably to make out somewhere. Anthony has acted a little gloomy all day but is now in a much better mood.
Three tea light candles float in a bath of yellow and white rose petals in the middle of the table. We finish eating the chicken cordon bleu dinner and brownie with ice cream dessert and sit and talk about all the things that happened during our senior year, laughing extra hard when we talk about Savannah's personality shift. Anthony and I exchange glances; it's nice to have someone who knows what actually happened. After dinner, the lights dim even more, and the first slow song starts to play.
"Come dance with me," Anthony says suddenly.
"You dance?" I ask.
"A little, but not ballet." He smiles and then takes my hand in his, pulling me toward the dance floor. It has been a long time since he actually touched me, and without fail, I feel my Huldra desires start raging through my body. His touch stirs up the dormant desire in me, awakening the need to be close to him again. Reason seems to slip away effortlessly. I never want to dance with anyone but him again; it feels so comfortable, yet exciting at the same time.
Leading me onto the dance floor, he winds his way around a few seniors to the center. More students are coming up to dance by the second. He draws me in close, takes my right hand in his, and places his other arm around my waist. He seems unusually affectionate, making me think that he feels the attraction too, but I can't tell for sure because of his calm and collected appearance. I like how his hand rests on the small of my back, how his fingers interlace with mine, and how his breath breezes across the top of my head.
"You'll be eighteen in less than an hour." Anthony readjusts his hand around my waist, pulling me in a little closer. I like it so much more than I should.
"I know," I say. "Should I be concerned about that?"
"Hmmm...maybe." The sides of his lips tilt playfully upward.
"When is your birthday exactly?" I realize I don't know how old he is. He could be much older than I assumed.
"My eighteenth birthday was last year, in February. I'm actually nineteen now," he says.
I'm glad to learn he's not ancient. "So they held you back in school?" I ask.
"They start a year later in Europe, so when I moved here, they held me back a year, yes."
We dance on for a while in silence. "What was your eighteenth birthday like? Anything I need to prepare for that you could tell me?" I ask.
"It was—" Anthony looks up, the lights from the disco ball dancing across his face. "You know how all the fairytales have the 'at the stroke of midnight' in them?"
"Yes—?" I say.
"Well, that rule actually originated from ancient Huldra tales. At the stroke of midnight on a Huldra or Huldu's eighteenth birthday, their entire world changes. Instead of a magical spell being broken, it's the spell of your human eyes that will fade away. You'll begin to see humans in a whole new light."
"That sounds—exciting?" I am not sure.
"Just remember, if you're not careful, you could pick up some bad habits the first year you are a grown-up Huldra."
"Like what?" My desire for Anthony increases by the second, and grows much quicker than it has before. Maybe that's what he is talking about.
"Unfortunately, your mom isn't here, so I'm going to have to teach you about some of those things tonight."
"What are you saying, Anthony?" I ask in a deep, inviting voice. Is he telling me he's going to be making a move on me?
"Nothing, but I want you to know that I won't take advantage of you in any way," Anthony says sincerely. "Besides, the education isn't about—well, that."
"Then what is it about?" I nuzzle in to his chest. He smells so good.
"It's more about learning to manage your urges to control humans, to make them do what you want, and about appropriating things the right way. You used your flair on Savannah, right?" Anthony says.
"Yes, and it was a fiasco," I say, remembering every detail. I haven't even seen Savannah since I told her to stay away.
"So you know how powerful your flair can be," he says.
"I guess, but I wouldn't mind experimenting some more with you." I don't know where that sentence came from. 'Experimenting some more?' I don't even know what I meant by saying that, but the thought excites me.
Anthony sighs. "Don't go there. You'll regret it later when you remember that you don't trust me and that you're mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you," I say, innocently, and I am not. He mesmerizes me.
"Well, not right now you aren't."
"This is strange," I say.
"What?"
"I thought that we were immune to each other?"
"Yeah, I thought so too," Anthony says, gazing into my eyes.
"I've always found you very attractive, Anthony, even before I knew who you really were or before I touched you. You're the first guy I've ever been attracted to," I admit.
He breathes slowly. "Thank you for the honesty, but you might not want to say more. Sometimes in the beginning it's hard to think straight, and your Huldra side will be all that drives you."
I don't understand why he is being so difficult. I run my fingers through his sweaty hair. It is so sexy.
"We should go," he says, trying to pull me with him off the dance floor.
I resist. Looking at him, I press my body close to his. It is as if I have no control over my own actions. These feelings are so foreign, and normally I would be extremely embarrassed about the way I am acting, but not tonight.
"Sonia, I know what you're going through right now, and it's best if I take you home," Anthony whispers in my ear.
I like how his newly shaved skin feels on my cheek. I want to kiss him. I laugh a little at the forbidden idea. "Did you know that I find you extremely attractive?" I kiss him gently on the cheek, trying to whet his appetite for more.
He stiffens up. "This is what I'm talking about; your Huldra side is taking over, so we should go."
"Are you taking me back to your place?" I giggle. Giggle? I have never been this giddy in my entire life, but it feels wonderful, like I'm being drugged by my desire for him. He awakens the dormant Huldra in me, and I want to have him, to control him and for him to be mine—forever.
"Yes, we're going home, but I'll be lecturing you, not bedding you," he says angrily and leaves me standing alone on the dance floor. I laugh as this has all become a game for me. Then I see Tyson across the room, standing with a group of his football friends. I am surprised I hadn't noticed before how attractive he is. He's wearing a white dress shirt and the top two buttons are undone. His hair is messy—I would love to run my fingers through it. His lips look blood red and I bite my lip as I saunter over to him. All I can think about is enveloping my lips around his, taking his hands and putting them on me. I take his hand and he smiles as I walk backward, pulling him onto the dance floor.
"Sonia," he says, his eyes intense and willing.
I let him pull me closer and we start swaying to the music. "Kiss me," I say.
Tyson leans forward and I close my eyes. I feel Tyson's breath on my face, but before our lips touch, his arms release my body. Opening my eyes, I see Anthony punching him in the face. Tyson falls to the floor, but Anthony is quick to pull me with him.
"Anthony!" I say, feeling bad for Tyson as I look back at him. "Sorry!" I say to Tyson who is still recovering from the blow. Maybe Anthony is jealous and that makes me smile. I wasn't trying to make Anthony jealous; I just wanted someone to kiss me—that's all, but I don't have the time to explain that to Tyson.
"We're leaving now!" Anthony yells. "Get your stuff." Back at our table, I pick up my purse. I begin writing a quick note to Ashley on a napkin, saying that we needed to leave.
"You can text her when we're in the car," Anthony says.
"All right, all right, Mr. Grumpy," I say. He is so hot when he's angry.
Anthony hauls me with him outside and pays the valet before we jump into the car.
"What was that all about?"
"I just wanted someone to kiss me and you didn't want to kiss me, so I thought I would find someone else."
He scowls. "Forty minutes as a human, Sonia, that's all you have. Let me tell you what's going to happen."
"Why do you have to be so serious? I just want to have some fun," I say.
He shifts gears and speeds down the dark road. "Yeah, but I'm not going to let that happen. You'll despise me later if something happens between us because you'll understand that this isn't what you really want, and that you're not thinking straight."
"I am thinking very straight, thank you very much." I see his resistance as a challenge to overcome and know he will give in to me eventually.
"At midnight, you're going to lose your human eyes."
"Are you telling me I'm going to go blind?" I tease.
"Stop making this into a joke. You're going to see every human as they are, their soul and all. You'll be able to see their aura, and what virtues and values they possess—everything. From the moment they were born to what brought them to where they are in life. If a person is patient, you'll be able to see that. If a person is afraid, you can see that too."
"So you're saying I'll be able to tell just by looking at them what type of person they are and if they possess certain character traits?" I say.
"Exactly!"
"And I can read their past?"
"Yes."
"So...can you see my character traits, Anthony?" I ask, my hand making its way over to his thigh. He grabs my hand and abruptly moves it back to my lap again. I huff. He is making this very difficult.
"Your human ones, yes, but once you're an adult, and lose your humanity, I won't be able to see them anymore."
I almost feel sad, but losing my humanness seems like such a trivial thing in this moment when Anthony is so close to me. "So will it be like losing a part of me?"
"Yes, but what you gain in return is so much more awesome," Anthony says.
"Tell me about my human side." I lean toward him and run my fingers through his hair, tugging on it gently. He doesn't stop me, but I see that his knuckles turn white around the steering wheel.
Taking a deep breath, he says, "You're loving, kind, considerate, and slightly moody all the time. You're also very conscientious."
I nod in agreement. "Did you pick up on my discipline too?"
"Yes, very." Anthony laughs for a moment, but then he grows serious. "Your aura is one of the most beautiful ones I've seen."
I smile and let my fingers glide underneath his shirt at the base of his neck. My heart quickens. "Tell me more."
He glances at me briefly. "The first time I saw you, and saw your aura, I knew that I was standing in the presence of someone special."
"But you were so...rude to me," I say, remembering our first meeting in the greenhouse where he called me an albino.
"I didn't know how to act. I was angry with Maureen for wanting me to spy on you and eventually harm you, so I wanted to keep my distance."
That's plausible. "What happens after I lose my humanity?"
He stops at a red light. "You can pick and choose which character traits, talents and virtues you want to appropriate from humans, so it's extremely important that you select carefully. You don't want to pick up traits that you're not sure you want because you will never be able to get rid of them," Anthony says.
"So it is as if I'm building myself up again from scratch?"
Anthony's eyes squint. "Not really from scratch. You will still be you and have all the personality traits and virtues you have acquired throughout your life, but you'll be able to add to your virtues at will, and in a manner of seconds."
"It's like a second chance at life!" I am excited about my forthcoming experience. "So can I steal stuff from you?"
"No. Huldras cannot take from other Huldras or Huldus, unless they kill them. The only thing you can give away is..."
"My fifth Huldra gift." I finish his sentence.
"Exactly."
"So what have you appropriated from humans?"
"Today, I appropriated self-restraint," he says and smiles smugly.
I give him an evil look. "From who?"
"A priest, you wouldn't know him. The sensual urges are the strongest urges a Huldra has right after she enters adulthood. That's why they've all gotten such a bad reputation, but think about it, did your mother have any of those tendencies?"
"No, so she must have appropriated virtues from other humans," I say.
"Yes."
"So when we appropriate these virtues, do the humans we take them from lose those strengths?"
"Yes, so it is important to know how to appropriate the right amount. I only appropriated about ten percent of this priest's strength because that was all I needed. The trick is to not get greedy and take more than you need, for if you do, both the human and you will suffer," Anthony says.
Now I am curious. "How do you do it exactly?"
He turns into his subdivision and drives through the gate. "You'll know. I actually have an apprentice priest meeting us at the house. I told him you were interested in learning about his life. He's a twenty-one year old virgin, so I think he is perfect for the first test."
I slouch back in my chair and grumble. "This should be interesting." I point to the clock on the dashboard. "Twenty-seven minutes to go."
* * *
Back at Anthony's house and with twenty-four minutes before midnight, Anthony and I change into more comfortable clothes. I slip into the new jeans he picked up at the mall, and a scoop-neck dark gray floral-patterned t-shirt. Anthony looks handsome in his dark jeans and thin white linen short-sleeved shirt. My urges have mellowed a little, and I am able to somewhat decipher between my Huldra urges and human urges. Having some physical distance between us lessens my desires, I figure. I tell myself I can resist him if I want to, but that is a big if.
"The apprentice priest will be here in a few minutes," Anthony says. "His name is Karl, and I know him from soccer. He helps coach some of the kids."
"How did you get him to come at such a late hour? Wait, did you use your flair on him?"
"A Huldus flair is called might, and yes, but it was an accident a few weeks back. I try not to take advantage."
"Except for now," I challenge.
Anthony rolls his eyes, but doesn't answer me.
We sit down in the living room and Anthony turns on the TV. "What do you like to watch?"
"I'm not a big TV fan." I sit down next to him. "Anything, really."
Anthony flips the channel to a soccer match and we watch for a few minutes. Being so close to him again, smelling his cologne, feeling his warmth, I can't resist reaching out and taking his hand. The skin-to-skin touch causes my urges to come back in full force and I have to have him. I lift my leg up and straddle him where he sits.
He grabs my upper arms as if to restrain me. "Sonia—no."
But I am not having it. I look him in the eyes and lean down so close that the tip of my nose touches his, and then I lick my lips.
Anthony hesitates for a moment, but then he gets this wild look in his eyes and I know he wants me too. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he lifts his chin up and presses his lips against mine. Softly at first—almost too soft. Then he moves his lips across mine and the kiss comes to life. He grabs my hips, and then slides his hands up to my waist, then to my back and then to my face.
"Anthony, I want you so bad," I say. "I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stop." All my hesitation, my anger and my distrust—gone.
"I want you too, Sonia, but not like this. I won't let it go any further than this," he says between kisses.
"Good, because I won't...be able to...stop."
"Don't worry, I will." But he doesn't stop. He flips me onto my back and climbs on top of me, his body pressing heavily against mine. I feel how strong he is and I can feel his muscles move underneath his thin linen shirt beneath my fingertips.
Can this be more heavenly? Is this love? Or is it lust? All I know is that it feels right. His hands make their way to my shoulders, and move to my back. He gently pulls me closer. That makes my heart race even faster and I let out a sigh. He kisses a trail down my neck and to my chest, stopping at the edge of my shirt. Don't stop. Please don't stop. His hand continues down my waist and he grabs behind my leg, pulling it up toward him.
"Sonia, you are so irresistible," Anthony says.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings.
"Don't answer it," I plead. I weave my fingers through his soft blond hair and pull at it gently. He lets out a laugh and comes in to kiss me again—deeply. My lips part and he takes full advantage. His tongue makes its way into my mouth, and I return his indulgence with great approval. His kisses are wet and deep, his hands hungry. Continuing to kiss me, he sits me up and pulls back.
"Don't answer the door," I say.
He looks at me, his eyes sad, and then straightens out my hair. "This will be the only time."
"What?"
"Soon, you'll understand."
"No, I won't," I say, still wanting him.
He kisses me again, like it is the last time he ever will. His lips moving with tender emotion, with repressed passion. Then before I know it, he is on his feet and answers the door.
I feel alone. The last time until when? Forever? I don't want that, or at least not at the moment. He left me so high and so wanting; I don't know how to come back down. With my heart still racing, my knees still weak, I stagger to my feet. I straighten my clothes and go into the guest bathroom to make sure I look decent. My makeup looks fine, my clothes a little wrinkled, but who cares. The virgin apprentice priest won't know.
Back out in the living room, I see Karl. I thought he would be wearing an orange robe of sorts, but instead, he is wearing black suit pants and a light blue button up shirt. His face, however, looks almost exactly like I imagined it would. He has mousy-brown hair that is slicked and parted to the right and he is extremely conservative-looking, and about as un-sexy as they come. His nose is definitely the centerpiece of his face, long, crooked and trollish. Don't judge him so harshly, I chastise myself.
"Hi, I'm Sonia, nice to meet you." I stretch out my hand to greet Karl.
"I'm Karl, good to meet you too," he says without a smile.
"Let's have a seat, shall we?" Anthony says, gesturing to the couch we just made out on. I smile a little, and think I see a smirk on Anthony's still more-red-than-usual lips.