“Calli! Wake up!”
I hear Chris’s voice. The pain in my head lingers: a slow, dull, throbbing. I open my eyes to discover his face near mine, and become aware I’m on the floor in the boys’ room. Chris has pulled my upper body into his arms. I untangle myself from his arms and sit up. “What happened?”
Chris stands and I see everyone is awake and staring at me.
“You started screaming and holding your head and fell to the floor,” Chris says.
I search the room for Jonas, and when I find his face, I search his body, only to find the tumor intact, unchanged.
Chris figures out straightaway what I had been trying to do. All he has to do is glance in the direction my eyes are looking to see who I’m focused on.
“Get up.” He holds out his hand to me. I stand, and he leads me into the bathroom and closes the door behind us.
“Why are we in here?”
“Because I don’t want everyone else freaked out by what I’m about to tell you, especially one person in particular.” He reaches over and turns on the bathtub faucet. “Background noise.” He points to the running water. “Try to avoid saying Jonas’s name, all right?”
I nod and sit on the floor with my back against the door and my knees pulled to my chest.
Chris positions himself on the edge of the tub, our knees nearly touching. “You’re on dangerous ground here, Calli. One of the first things we learn about at the compound is how to accept death, and why we should when our time comes.”
“Well, I never started my training so you can’t expect me—”
He cuts me off. “I know. This will be your first lesson about death. You told me you can’t see his future. Normally that would mean he doesn’t have one and he’s going to die. Or it could simply mean you are new to the Seer ability and just need more practice. However, at some point in his life, he’s going to die and you can’t do anything about it. Tell me, how serious is his cancer? Are you able to determine to what extent he’s suffering?”
“It’s serious. I think it has spread into different organs. He’s not in a ton of pain yet. Whatever pain he has, he brushes it off so he won’t sound weak to the rest of us. I think it’s fast developing because when I looked into his memories, he seemed healthy.” I remember hearing my father talk about a cancer patient who was fine one month and dead the next. My father told me that “sometimes cancer sneaks up and takes us by surprise.”
“Calli, consider this. If a doctor discovered his illness, do you think they would even try to fight it, or send him home to die?”
“I’m not a doctor, but I can tell the disease is widespread. If he was my father’s patient, he’d probably be set up in a hospice program where he’d be kept as comfortable as possible for the short time he has left.”
“Exactly. In the early stages, most kinds of cancer are treatable by both human and Healer alike, but when any illness is far enough advanced, both know when to pull back and let nature take its course.”
“But this is different. I’m a Healer. I can heal him.”
“Think of yourself as a glorified surgeon. You can heal wounds and broken bones. Basically your powers are limited to what a doctor can do. He or she can shock a heart to make it beat again, but if the heart has damage that will prevent it from beating on its own, the doctor’s hands are tied. Think about a patient in a coma. A doctor can’t wake them, and if the patient is brain dead . . . do you comprehend the limitations doctors have? They are not all-powerful. Everyone dies. Our bodies give out, and Jonas is going to die. Only, he doesn’t know that yet.”
“I can remove it. I know I can.”
“Do you remember falling in agony a few minutes ago? Clearly, you are trying to do something that may not be possible at this point.”
“Will it kill me to try?”
“Now this is where you’re on dangerous ground. Thinking you can defy death, cheat death, is bordering on evil. Let’s imagine for a moment you did heal him, but in five years he’s shot in the head. Oh, but wait, you fix his head and he lives. Then, when he’s sixty, he suffers a massive heart attack, but you heal that too. However, at ninety, he develops congestive heart failure, and you fix him. And when he’s one hundred and twenty his kidneys give out, but you heal him. Then he’s one hundred and fifty—”
“I get your point. When nature takes us, it’s game over. But he’s so young. He has so much life ahead of him. He shouldn’t have to die now.”
Chris put his finger up to his lips to remind me to keep my voice down. “Why do you believe his time to die is up to you?”
“I don’t, I only—”
“You do. You tread on dangerous ground.”
“Why?”
“Anyone who thinks they have the power to decide who lives or dies is going against nature and is in direct opposition to the universal order of things. They put themselves up higher than everyone around them and they all, and I mean all, turn evil. They become power hungry, obsessed with total domination and immortality. The Death Clan are Healers—were Healers. Now they are striving for immortality and ultimate control. They don’t answer to anyone. They don’t care about anyone, only themselves. Their goal is to gain all the abilities of every other clan and become invincible.”
“I’m not like that.”
“You already are.”
“No!”
“Shhh.” He puts his finger to his mouth. “There’s a natural order to life, to all forms of life, and it’s not our place to try to alter that force. Through the years, certain species have gone extinct. The world’s populations have taken drastic hits due to naturally occurring illnesses or disasters. But without those, the population today would be astronomical.”
“But—”
“But nothing. No one can live forever, Calli.”
“I’m not trying for forever with him, just a few more years.”
“In a few more years, he might be married with children, and then when he gets sick, you’ll feel his children shouldn’t be without their father, and so on. Do you follow? Do you understand the limitations and the need to learn how to accept death? You need to learn this before you wind up in a situation where someone who means a lot to you is dying. What’s going to happen when someone you deeply love is mortally wounded? It’s important you learn to recognize when nature’s taking over. If you don’t, you’ll be no better than the Death Clan, who at one time were good and kept everyone alive, kind of like you and your desires to keep him alive. But then they took nature into their own hands and began deciding when people would die. Their very existence is against nature.”
“What about the other Healers? Are they evil?”
“No, because they understand when to stop healing and let nature take over. Let me tell you a story. Several hundred years ago, a clan of Healers started down this path of overriding nature. They wanted, and discovered, a way to achieve immortality by killing others and absorbing their youth. Nature found a way to intervene, and the entire clan, in their power-hungry state, was obliterated. It’s said they became the Shadow Demons. You would know them as vampires.”
“They don’t look like vampires to me.”
“They were never called vampires except by humans. They don’t have long incisors like Hollywood would have you believe. They don’t bite their victims, and wooden stakes through the heart won’t kill them. Nothing can kill them except other members of their clan. Humans couldn’t handle the facts, so they came up with their own stories of how to kill vampires to satisfy their fears.”
I shake my head, not believing what I’m hearing. “How did they absorb the youth of other people?”
“No one knows for sure because their methods died with their mortal bodies. The Death Clan hasn’t even figured out the secret, to my knowledge. Calli, what you need to accept is the Death Clan, and the ancient vampires, all started out like you, learning to heal and trying to keep people alive.”
I consider for a moment that my powers are a limited-time offer and will be removed from me once the diamond is delivered. I simply can’t see the harm in doing one good deed while having the ultimate power. It isn’t like I’d turn evil. My mind wars with right and wrong. How wrong am I to want to help someone? Chris must sense what I’m thinking because he starts up again.
“For every change in the order of things, there’s a repercussion. Wise Healers know when not to heal, when not to help, and when to walk away. Someday you’ll be a wise Healer.”
I want to tell him, No, someday I’ll be a nobody, again, but, I can’t do that without revealing why.
The bathroom has filled with cool mist from the running water and Chris’s skin shimmers with moisture. I figure mine does too, because he moves back a little from me and takes in my appearance. I watch the expression on his face change slightly. He seems to be seeing me with different eyes, the kind that make my stomach flutter with anticipation.
Anticipation of what? Is he about to kiss me? I wish I had more experience around boys and the way they think.
He holds his hand out. I take hold, and he helps me stand. We face each other for several electrically-charged seconds. I say electrically, because the emotion in his eyes has a kind of physical energy that makes my skin prickle.
He drops my hand and shuts off the bathtub water. “Let’s get some sleep,” he says, ushering me out to my bed.
The clock on the end-table says one-thirty as I lie back down on the bed. My heart still races from being with Chris. He’s standing in the doorway between the two rooms, looking my direction with a concentrated intensity. He finally disappears into his room and shuts off the light. I let out my pent-up breath.
“What was that all about?” Lizbeth asks.
“I needed a lesson about death.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Let’s get some sleep.”
“Do you and Chris have a thing going?”
“Of course not. He’s too old for me.” I try to sound convincing, but I fail.
“Could’a fooled me.”
“And me,” Ashley’s voice sounds from the other bed.
Shanika says, “Yeah, he’s hot for you, girl! You’re all powerful, but you seem to be blind about it.” Shanika and Ashley both giggle.
“Hey, I’m not an idiot, and don’t forget I can read minds. I know about his feelings for me, and you two as well for that matter.” I get them giggling again. Then, in an effort to get them to drop the subject, I say, “Anyway, I hear he’s holding out for his special someone.”
Shanika answers, “That’s true.”
Ashley says, “When we get back to Montana, I’m going to have you look in my crush’s head to find out if he likes me.”
“We already know he doesn’t,” Shanika answers.
Chris says in a loud voice from the other room, “Go to sleep!”
Lizbeth rolls over and whispers, “Why were you on the floor screaming?”
“I tried one of my powers without knowing what it would do to me.”
“Which power?”
“Healing.”
“Who’s hurt?”
“No one,” I say, yawning.
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I. Goodnight.” I roll away from her, hoping she won’t continue. She doesn’t.
* * *
Morning comes too fast. We meet up with Justin and find his group didn’t have any trouble with their sleeping accommodations, but apparently a good night’s rest did nothing for Justin’s mood. He still glares at me like he’s choking on something nasty.
Azeel says goodbye and leaves our company to begin his journey home to New York. I can’t help but wonder how Chris is taking his departure. Justin is visibly upset with the idea someone like Azeel is roaming the countryside with insider information concerning our delivery mission. I know he’s only worried about his own neck and not ours.
We run over hilly farmlands and skirt far enough around the edges of towns to not be seen. We stop for a lunch break by a large river and eat more of our dry granola bars.
I stretch back on the grass and rest my mind as best as I can, trying to enjoy the pleasant weather and warm sun. I hear splashing sounds and laughter down by the river. I close my eyelids and can tell every time a cloud passes in front of the sun.
I think about Azeel and hope he will find his family to be okay when he gets home. My mind drifts to Maetha and the day we met at Harold Bates’s office. A particularly dark cloud blocks the sunlight, causing me to open my eyes. I become anxious as I realize my companions are not down at the river anymore. I twist around, finding myself totally alone. Where have they gone? And why is the sky so dark? When did the sun go down, and why didn’t anyone tell me? Somewhere in my brain, I come to the conclusion this must be a vision or dream of some kind. I stand and climb the small hill, discovering large spotlights set up to illuminate the ground. People are entering and exiting several enormous army-style tents. I walk forward, wondering if this clearing is the one from my vision.
As I near the tent, Maetha comes out to greet me. “Ah, you found me. The diamond is giving you bilocating abilities.”
“Bi-what? Where are we?”
“Canada. Your mind sought out mine and brought you here, and from a considerable distance, too. Impressive.”
“I don’t remember seeking you in my mind. I only thought of you. Is this where the exchange will happen?”
“No, you’ve seen the clearing in your vision.”
“Why is it dark? It’s only noon.”
“I’m simulating darkness to test the effectiveness of the floodlights.”
I glance into the shadows and see the Demons creeping around. Interesting that they can be present in the middle of the day. I deduce that during a full eclipse of the sun the Demons would also be a threat. I turn my attention back to Maetha. “Maetha, why did you give my perfume to Justin?”
“Because he’s not to be trusted.”
I tell her, “He’d been seen talking with the Death Clan.”
“Yes. He’s been exceptionally instrumental.”
“This is confusing. Why are you with the Death Clan? Do you work for them?”
“No. I work for no one and everyone.”
“Why are you being so vague? What are you not telling me?”
“Plenty. Calli, certain elements must align to ensure the success of this mission. I cannot tell you what or when to do anything.”
“But I need to know when to bring out the diamond.”
“Follow your instincts and desires. Most of all, follow your heart. You are human after all.”
“But—”
She smiles at me. “You need to go back now before you get yourself into trouble.”
“Will I lose my powers?” As I ask the question, she fades away. I run toward her, and she moves further away. “Wait!” I call out. I run faster, but it doesn’t matter. The sky brightens, and without warning a deluge of ice-cold water covers my face and my body as I’m submerged in water. I panic, kick, and flail for my life, trying to find the surface. I desperately need air, but which way is up? My vision darkens, and my lungs are on fire. Inside the darkness I see Chris swimming toward me. He grabs me under my arms and paddles toward the light. I close my eyes and let my body go.
* * *
I wake up coughing. My chest hurts, and my head and gut hurt too. Why do I hurt so much? I have been rolled on my side to allow water to escape my mouth. I wipe my lips with the sleeve of my jacket and become aware of everyone standing around me. How embarrassing. I want to die—maybe I have. I sit up and rub my chest.
“Are you okay?” Chris asks, out of breath and coughing. He sits next to me with his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. He’s dripping wet, but so am I.
“I think so.”
Justin lights into me. “Why in the hell did you go running into the river?”
“I didn’t . . . did I?” I can’t remember.
“You did,” Chris says, then coughs violently. From the sound of it, he almost drowned too.
“Why would I run into the river?”
Beth said, “I think you had a vision. You stood and started yelling something about losing your powers and took off across the water. You stopped and sunk like a rock. Good thing Chris is such an excellent swimmer and knows mouth-to-mouth or you’d be dead.”
I look over at Chris, who glances at me sideways. “Thanks.”
He nods.
Kayla reaches for my zipper. “Let’s get you out of your jacket so it can dry.”
My hand quickly grazes my pocket to make sure the diamond is still inside. It is. I grab her wrist and make her let go. “I’ll keep it on, thanks. I’ll dry as I run.”
Justin points to Chris. “He’s in no condition to run now. He can hardly breathe.”
I place my hand on Chris’s back and become aware of the water in his lungs—not good. His lips have a blue tinge to them. He’s out of the water, but he seems to be drowning.
With my hand on his back, I warm the excessive moisture with my mind, pulling and siphoning it, then I stop. “Is this nature’s will?” I ask, trying not to sound like a know-it-all. I certainly am not trying to make a point. I just don’t want to be going against nature if this is what nature intends.
“Please, help me,” he struggles to say.
His terrified plea touches something deep inside me. Perhaps it’s the fact he’s just saved my life and I feel I need to repay the debt, even if it is against nature. I continue with my ministrations, easing the water out of his lungs, allowing oxygen into his blood. I lay him back on the ground and straddle his waist, being careful not to put my weight on him. With both of my hands, I instinctively massage his chest and lungs, sliding my hands up his chest to his neck. I watch the moisture vapor leave his body through his mouth.
He reaches up and grasps my wrists, not trying to stop me, but to be a part of what I’m doing to him. I continue to massage his lungs up and out. I think about what it must have been like for him to watch me run out onto the river and sink.
I enter his memories and see myself convulsing. I look absolutely scary, even to myself. In Chris’s mind, he understands what’s happening to me and that I need to be protected from harming myself. He tries to rein my body under control by pinning me to the ground with his own body. I throw him off with inhuman strength and jump up. “Will I lose my powers?” I yell, and then I run out into the middle of the river and sink.
Chris is right behind me, trying to catch up. The moment I go under he dives into the water, panic-stricken. The swift current has swept my body away, but he doesn’t give up. He swims until he finds me, which takes longer than his held air allows. He wraps his arms under my arms, then struggles to swim to the surface. The others wait at the river’s edge and help pull me up the riverbank.
At the sight of my unresponsive body, adrenaline shoots through Chris’s body, giving him a second wind of energy. Out of desperation, he slaps my cheek to try to wake me. When that fails, he checks for a pulse, then gives me mouth-to-mouth with the little air he can spare. He shakes my shoulders as anguish floods his entire being. He couldn’t feel worse if I’d died. At that moment, it appears to him I have. He uses both palms and presses on my chest. He does this repeatedly as tears of pain run down his face. When he gives me several more mouthfuls of air, he does so lovingly. He can barely see through his tears.
I start to cough, and everyone standing by gasps with relief. Hope begins to build as he rolls me over on my side and shrinks away from me, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them as complete exhaustion consumes him. His adrenaline rush ends, and the water in his lungs is now extinguishing his life.
That is, until I touch his back.
I sense him, presently, and his affection for me. He opens his eyes, still holding my wrists as I massage his chest. His lungs are back to normal, but his heart rate continues to increase.
“Are you all right, Chris?”
“I think you’ve fixed me, so you can get off me now.”
“Oh, right.” I quickly moved off his stomach, and he sits up just as fast.
My mind keeps replaying the images from his head. I ask, “Did we go against nature?”
He doesn’t answer, nor does he turn to look at me.
I wonder why he let me into his mind? Why were his defenses down? Did he want me to understand his true feelings? The silence between us is deafening. The group has picked up on the tension because they don’t hesitate to leave when Lizbeth ushers everyone away.
“I had a vision,” I say.
“I figured as much. I’ve heard of visionaries doing crazy things, even deadly things, in the course of a vision. I tried to hold you down, but you got away.”
“It wasn’t exactly a vision, but more like an out-of-body experience. I spoke with a witch.”
His head swiftly turns in my direction. “A witch? You’re dealing with a witch? Is this why you have multiple powers?”
My happy feeling gone, I stand and brush the grass off my wet suit. “I didn’t say I was dealing with a witch. I said I spoke with one in my vision.”
His eyes narrow and his voice is cold. “Yes, but you yelled to the wind, ‘Am I going to lose my powers?’ Were you talking to her? She could be watching us right now.” The strictness in his voice tells me this is serious.
“I guess so. It’s kind of hazy now. I’ll have to think about it and try to recall the whole conversation.”
He gets up and says over his shoulder as he briskly walks up the hillside, “We need to get moving so we’re not captured like the other team. I’ll get the others.”
I am flabbergasted. He’s left me so abruptly. How can his emotions change like that? I witnessed his innermost feelings, his indescribable love for me, his desperation to save me, and his gratitude. Yet, one mention of talking with a witch in a vision and he’s running the other way. I remember he freaked out when I confronted Justin about his dealings with a witch, too. I conclude it is unwise to mention my encounters with Maetha, even if it is only in a vision.
My own body still hurts. Why? Can’t I heal myself? Apparently not.
The clan comes down the hill, and I prepare to run with Chris, but he takes off without me. Justin stares at me with a slack jaw for a moment, then he takes my hand and we start running, following Chris and the others.
As our group treks north through Idaho, I think about Chris giving me mouth-to-mouth, how he held my wrists while I healed him, the immense feelings of love he had for me . . . and then how he looked at me like I carried the bubonic plague. A look of complete revulsion. My eyes water, sending tears straight back into my hair.
After two more hours of hard running through thick forests, we approach a town called Coeur d’Alene, situated on the north end of a large lake. We stop at the water’s edge to rest while Chris and Justin pour over the map. As dusk draws near, I listen to them argue over the risk of staying in a large town versus searching for a more remote spot. They finally decide to stay the night in Coeur d’Alene at two motels near each other and Chris issues room assignments to the group without looking in my direction. I can’t believe it when I hear him order me to room with Justin’s group. I’m absolutely stunned. Chris is completely distancing himself.
Fine! Fine! All I can say is FINE! I’m not myself when I’m around him anyway. I can’t think straight. I keep having these visions, along with desires I’d rather not have. So if staying with Justin, who couldn’t hate me more, will help my situation, I welcome it.
Once we get checked in, I discover I’ll be sharing a bed with Beth. No surprise there. I wonder if she’ll draw an imaginary line down the middle, indicating “her side.” Kayla and Jessica have the other bed. None of them dare talk to me, for fear of ticking Justin off. They only stare in awe. At least they aren’t asking me about their futures.
Justin sits in the adjoining room, speaking in a low voice to the guys. I pick up on some of their conversation. “Visions . . . future . . . minds . . . hunts . . . must be a witch for Chris to turn away from her like that.”
I lie back on the bed and close my eyes. The girls leave the room and join Justin. I place my hand over the diamond and feel its pulsating power under my palm. This is my true addiction, giving me capabilities beyond imagination, as well as attitude and a new sense of self. Right or wrong? I don’t know.
Maetha advised me to follow my desires, to go with my gut, so I get up and walk out of the motel room, closing the door behind me. I move through the Shadow Demons who prowl beyond the edge of light, and make my way down the block to the motel occupied by Chris and the others.
I focus on all my senses and listen at the windows for him. Why am I doing this? He rejected me. Yet I want to listen to his voice or look into his mind to find out why, hoping he regrets being angry and cold with me. I pray I’ll discover I misread his reaction on the riverbank. I can’t hear or see anything, though. I only detect his scent.
Why is he so repulsed at the thought of me talking with a witch? He didn’t get this upset when he found out Justin was consorting with a witch—the same witch, although neither Chris nor Justin know. But still? Why would he ditch me over that? More importantly, why am I so upset? It’s not like his vision of me will come true anyway.
I walk back to my motel room in a weary state of mind, dragging my feet so much I trip on the uneven sidewalk. Two middle-aged men step out of the shadows. They stand about the same height. Both wear ragged clothes, and neither looks as if they’ve shaved in several days. One of the stale-beer-stinking men has ratty blond hair and the other has black. Their minds reveal they are not from around the area and are just passing through on their way to the west coast.
“Careful miss, you’ll hurt yourself.” An evil grin spreads across the blond man’s face. He has a jagged scar creasing one cheek. Without delay, I gain access into his mind. What I view appalls me. How can anyone think such horrible thoughts?
The black-haired man places his hand on my shoulder and says, “Young lady, are you lost?” A cigarette dangles from his lips and as he inhales, the orange glow of the tip illuminates his pock-marked face.
To any passerby, these men might appear to be worried about my safety and are just trying to help, but as a Mind-Reader, I deduce I’m the only one concerned for my safety. These men reek with evil intentions.
It’s odd, really, the point at which I’ve found myself. The sixteen-year-old Calli of two weeks ago would never have wandered the streets of an unknown town alone and after dark. I wouldn’t have spoken to two strange men, let alone have tried to fight them. Neither Chris nor my teammates can’t help me now. The Demons are thick, and there isn’t enough light. I’m on my own with two scary-looking men who mean to harm me.
But I’m not the same girl anymore. I’ve changed and am no longer frightened of them. Instead I feel uneasy because I’ve never used my powers to hurt anyone. If they don’t leave me alone, they will be my first experiment.
“Thank you for your concern, but I’m not lost,” I say as if I walk the streets all the time. “I’m on my way back to my motel.” I point to the building at the end of the block.
“Little late for a pretty young thing like you to be wanderin’ about,” Blondie says.
“Yes, I suppose so. Good night.” I start to walk away, knowing I won’t get far.
They both grab me from behind. Blondie wraps his arms around my chest, holding my arms down, and the other man seizes my ankles. I know they are going to try to abduct me, and with my heightened reflexes, yes, I could have avoided being caught, but I’m angry. I’ve been unjustly dumped today, and holy hell, these men are about to feel the wrath of a scorned woman—a scorned young woman with amazing powers, that is.
I don’t struggle much. I don’t even scream. Instead I focus on the black-haired man who holds my feet. Obviously, I don’t want to be dropped by attacking the man holding my upper half, so I go after the foot man first. I scope his body with my mind and find he has an old knee injury. I irritate the tendons and he starts limping and grunting, yet the cigarette never slips from between his lips.
“What’s wrong?” the blond one growls as they haul me toward the entrance of an alley.
“My bad knee! I must have stepped in a hole.” The man drops my feet and falls in agony, his cigarette bouncing on the ground. He now holds his other knee, which I have just blown out with my mind. He lets fly a string of colorful swear-words.
The other man still has me restrained, but not for long. I explore inside him and find a weakness: his heart. I say to him, “You shouldn’t be hauling me around with your bad heart, sir. You might get hurt.”
“Shut up, kid!” he yells. He tightens his hold on me, but then lets go and clutches his chest, screaming, “Aaagh! What did you do to me?”
I move away from him. “Well sir, I think you’re having a heart attack. You’d bet