Chapter Four
Goodbye
Several days went by. Clark would disappear for long periods of time and then when I thought he had left, he would be back, usually bringing more food with him.
I bumped into the landlady only to see from her arched eyebrow look that she knew of my guest. It was from her that I found out that Clark had all ready paid the rest of the month out for my room and it was the beginning of the month!
I stepped into the apartment and was surprised to see Clark there. It was midday; he was usually gone around this time.
I made him and Rafael lunch and then I asked a little breathlessly, “Could you watch Rafael for a little while for me? I have an errand to run.”
He nodded and I slipped out the door relieved.
Clark looked at Rafael, “Where is she going?”
“Same place she goes every Tuesday.” He mumbled out not looking up.
“Which is?” Clark pressed the little boy.
Rafael looked up with pain in his eyes, “To see my mother.”
Clark studied him for a moment and then reached down to his belt and pulled a beautifully engraved dagger out from it. He held it up in front of Rafael.
Rafael’s eyes practically glazed over with love for the knife in the way any young boys would have.
“If you promise you’ll stay in the apartment and not let anyone in but Evangelina or me I’ll give you this knife.”
“I promise!” Came the rote answer.
Clark rushed out of the apartment only pausing long enough to hear Rafael slide the locks closed shut. Rushing down the stairs at breakneck speed he was in time to see Evangelina up ahead of him and he commenced following her at a distance.
She walked briskly for over an hour. Finally it seemed that she reached her destination. It was a hospital. Clark drew closer so he didn’t lose her.
It had to be at the very far end of the hospital, when she stopped outside of a ward. The hospital was rundown and showed its age. Security didn’t seem to be a focus of theirs either.
Clark watched Evangelina slip some money to an orderly to let her through a door. Clark decided to try the same tactic. The orderly stared at him speechless wondering why he would be in such a place let alone pay so much to enter.
Clark slipped inside the hallway and was assailed by the unpleasant smells of neglected patients. As he made his way down the hall he could see that it was more of a nursing home than it was a hospital. He saw Evangelina give another orderly even more money. She turned down another hallway and at the far end she stopped.
A tired looking nurse saw her and gave a brief smile before her expression turned serious. She laid a hand on Evangelina’s arm and said something. Among other skills Clark had learned in his life was the valuable asset of being able to read lips.
“It’s her heart. It’s failing. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. It’s good you came because she doesn’t have long.”
The nurse walked on down the hallway and Evangelina slowly entered the room. Standing in a shadowed doorway Clark waited for over two hours before Evangelina walked by, her face wet with tears and her steps listless and lacking of energy.
After she was gone he went down the hall to the little room that was as tiny as a closet and probably had been at one time. It barely fit the bed and the still figure that rested on it.
Clark had seen a lot of death in his life and he recognized it now. He stepped into the room and looked down at the figure of a person at rest. It was like looking into Evangelina’s face. The woman on the bed had to be Evangelina’s twin sister.
Preparations quickly made, Clark left the hospital at a full run in an effort to get back to the apartment before Evangelina did.
Clark sat in his seat at the table masterfully trying to control his heavy breathing while appearing to breathe normally. Rafael sat at the table with him in deep mute satisfaction with his first knife. He had already nicked himself twice with it, but he was careful to not let on to the injuries for fear of having the knife taken away from him.
Clark was wiping some sweat off when Evangelina entered the apartment. She didn’t even so much as glance at them, but went straight to her room and closed the door.
Rafael looked as if he was going to follow, but Clark stopped him, “I think it would be best if you let her have some time to herself.”
The little boy looked puzzled, but he obeyed. Clark got up and left the apartment.
I sat staring at the plate of food in front of me lacking any desire to eat it. I should. If being a whore was a sin then not eating good food, as hard as it was to come by, must also be.
My hands didn’t move to the task though and I continued to sit still. I’d sent Rafael to bed over an hour ago. He’d been so excited over the knife Clark had given him that I hadn’t had the heart to tell him that his mother was dead.
He had stopped going with me to visit her a little over a year ago. The nursing ward with its strange sights and bad smells wasn’t something a little boy looked forward to seeing and I didn’t blame him. I’d hated seeing my sister in such a place for years to, but it had been all I could afford, actually more than I could afford really.
I had always hoped that one day Maria would sit up out of her coma and come home with me, but that would never happen now. Perhaps it was for the best anyway. Their situation was dire enough here without adding another mouth to feed and take care of.
I’d used all of Victor’s money just to get into the ward. None of it was left!
I didn’t even have any money to see that Maria got a proper burial. She’d be thrown into an unmarked pit!
The thought of that brought fresh tears to my eyes. I bent over keening softly in grief. She deserved so much better!
I heard the door open behind me and I knew somehow without looking that it was Clark. I sat up abruptly and wiped my eyes quickly hearing him approach from behind.
“I made you dinner.” I said pointing to a plate across from mine, “I can warm it up.”
He brushed past me, “No, this is fine.” He said sitting down.
He brushed his plate to the side and I looked at him questioningly. He reached across the table with one of his long arms and brushed my plate to the side and laid something down in its place.
“I followed you today. I hope you don’t mind what I’ve done.” Clark said softly.
I looked down at what he had laid on the table. It was a picture and I stared at it unable to comprehend the enormity of what I was seeing on it. It couldn’t be!
My eyes drifted to the little white lettering at the bottom of the picture that clearly displayed the date confirming that the pictured had been taken today.
The grass was green and well taken care of around the fresh dirt of a gravesite in the picture. A huge bouquet of colored roses and lilies lay sprawled elegantly across the bare dirt of the grave. There was a polished rose quartz granite headstone, which clearly read, ‘In loving memory of Maria Celina Frontao. Beloved sister and mother.’
I dropped the picture and stood up moving toward Clark, who watched me, uncertainly. I fell to my knees before him and would’ve kissed his feet, but he caught me by the upper arms before I could.
“Evangelina don’t do that!” He exclaimed.
I looked up at him completely choked up and half screamed out, “Why? Why are you doing all this for me?”
I stared up at him beseechingly in search of an answer.
“Because I can. Because I want to!” He said simply and I read the honesty of his answer in his eyes.
He’d had no ulterior motive. He’d just wanted to help. Help me of all people!
I lost it. I sobbed against his legs, as I thanked him over and over. Eventually I just lay curled up against his legs with my cheek resting on his drenched knee. It was like I was in peaceful shock in the aftermath of my outpouring of emotion. I didn’t want to move and he wasn’t making me.
The fingers of one of his hands stroked over and over through my long black hair in a comforting gesture that I had never thought possible of a man. Surely such a man as Clark hadn’t been born in the same world I had been!
“Do you want to talk about her? They say that helps sometimes with grief, but I don’t know for sure.”
I swallowed hard not knowing where to start.
“You were twins?” He asked softly prompting.
“Yes, identical twins. We did everything together as girls. We could even feel how each of us was feeling, when we were apart from each other. That changed when we were eight. We both got sick. I got over it quickly, but Maria couldn’t get over it. The doctors thought she would die, because her fever was so high for so long. Eventually it went away, but she wasn’t the same. As we got older it became more apparent. She was like a little girl trapped inside. She never got any older, even though her body did. Father was embarrassed by her and he wanted to send her away, but I begged and pleaded with him not to, promising to take care of her myself. I did just that until something changed. I fell in love. I was eighteen, and the boy from another influential family in town came home from school. We dated. We made plans to marry, since the match was agreeable to both our families. Mostly because it would match up the influence and wealth both of our families possessed. I planned to take Maria with me, when I found out that Philip was not the man I had thought he was. When I had not been around he had taken advantage of Maria! Almost from the moment I had met him! All through our year-long courtship! When I found out about what he had been doing I confronted him. If anything he was actually proud of himself! He told me he wanted to get a taste for what I would be like so what better way than with my twin sister. He said I was making him the envy of all men by having two beautiful women at his beck and call. He even added that it was a plus that he would only have to hear one of us talk. If the servants hadn’t pulled me off of him I would’ve killed him. I called the marriage off against my father’s wishes. He wanted me to marry him anyway, saying boys will be boys. He only wanted the money and influence the marriage would bring. A month later it became clear that Maria was pregnant. Father was furious and in a fit of rage at the apparent dishonor to our family name he hit Maria. She fell hitting her head off a marble end table on the way to the floor. She never regained consciousness. Father said that we had both brought disgrace to his name and he kicked us both out. Seven months later Rafael was born. After he was born the hospital didn’t want to keep Maria alive, but I begged them to. Finally one of the doctors said that he would if I…… I…..”
I paused for a moment and then said, “Here I am today a whore.”
After a moment I looked up curious to see what he thought of my story and I gasped slightly. In the dim light of the window I saw a brighter reflection of a shiny streak of moisture coming down his cheek.
No one had ever cried for me before. I knew in that moment that I loved this man, who was still virtually a stranger to me. He stood up pulling me up along with him. He held me. He didn’t say anything he just held me and that said over a thousand words by just doing that.
He drew back eventually, “We need to get you to bed. Its been a long day.”
I let him push me to my bed, but I stopped and turned around and slowly stepped toward him. His hand flat against my upper chest stopped me.
“You’re emotional and you’ve been through a lot today.” He said softly.
“I want to repay you for everything you’ve done for us, but the only thing I have to give is my body. Won’t you let me at least please you? I want to!” I said imploringly.
“Evangelina everything I’ve given you or done for you was a gift and does not need to be repaid.”
There was a pause and I pressed harder against his hand, but he didn’t budge.
Sounding stressed he said, “I very much want what you’re offering, but not like this. Good night Evangelina.”
Clark turned and left the room shutting the door. He went to the countertop and gripped its edge regretting and proud of his decision all at the same time.
Meanwhile a little boy closed his eyes after having seen words put into actions. For the first time in his life he’d found a man worth emulating in every way.
I sat eating breakfast trying not to make eye contact with Clark. My emotions of the previous evening, my offer, and the feelings I was beginning to feel for this man had all left me feeling rather exposed.
He stood up and came to stand near me, but I kept my eyes glued to my plate and the process of eating even though I wasn’t hungry.
“I’m going to be gone for several days.”
His words hit me like a bomb and I felt something contract painfully inside of me. He reached out and placed something in front of me. It was money.
It was more money than I could make in a good year or maybe even two years. I looked up at him shocked.
“In case I don’t make it back.” He said simply.
I swallowed hard, “When are you going?”
“Now.” He touched my shoulder briefly before heading for the door.
I got up quickly and nervously brushed the hair back out of my face, “Is it dangerous? Where you’re going I mean?”
He stopped and looked back, “Yes, I believe it will be.”
He opened the door.
“Clark!”
“What?”
“Please be safe!”
He nodded and closed the door. I looked from the closed door to the pile of money on the table and then back to the door. I wanted him more than the pursuit of money I had lost all my self-respect for, but was such a thing possible?