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Jon sings the Welcome, and I take the verse behind. It's beautiful to sing with him: it makes the pattern stronger. Voices join us from other roof tops, until six of us weave the song. Then Jon's verses ends, and then mine.
We watch the sun and listen to distant songs, neither of us wishing. We don't know what to wish for. I touch his hand, but he moves it away.
I do know what to wish for: I wish that he would talk to me. How long will he keep punishing me?
"I don't want…" he says to the sun.
I wait for him to let it out.
"…to lose you," he finishes.
I'm crying again.
"Emily, how could you be so selfish!"
"I hoped--"
"You hoped! It was a marriage omen, Emily. When an omen comes for the Holy Father does he hope? He acts!"
"Yes! And what does he do, Jon? He conjures enchantments! We have silver now, and what are we doing with it? I acted! I bought a charm."
"You thought that was enough?"
"Charms are always enough!"
"Against omens, Emily? If they're always enough, why does anyone fall ill? Why aren't our parents still here? Didn't you hear the father?"
"I wanted something to… look forward to."
"Why isn't this enough?" he asks. He spreads his hands wide, as though he's asking the whole land. "Why is this never enough?"
"I have to have hope."
"You have no hope?" he asks.
I know I can't answer that, not without hurting him too much.
"We agreed," he says. "We talked and we talked. You didn't even want children. The marriage omen was not a loss, that's what you said."
"I didn't want children, not before I met you."
"What does that mean?"
"I didn't want a child. Not before. I want one with you."
He starts to dress himself in charms. "We can't keep it," he says. "I won't let you. You heard the father."
"Jon, I can't do that! It would be like… destroying a part of you!"
"Keeping it means the end of all of you!"
***