Crazy Hole Time Travelers by Gary Whitmore - HTML preview

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Chapter 10

 

 

 

Later that Thursday and Clint and Merijildo eventually walked to U.S. 60.

Clint stopped when he saw the paved road. He looked bewildered at the sight of this strange sight.

He walked to the edge of the road and lightly kicked it with the toe of his boot. Merijildo watched while Clint knelt down and touched the road. "What is this?"

"Me say, strange things," Merijildo said then quickly reached down and grabbed the back of Clint's shirt. He pulled Clint up on his feet and moved his off the road.

"What are you doing?" Clint asked concerned.

A Honda Civic raced down the road with the boom, boom of the bass while the young driver listened to rap music. The Civic blew by Clint and Merijildo at seventy miles per hour.

Clint and Merijildo looked shocked at the sight of that Civic.

"Did you see how fast that stagecoach went? And without horses," Clint said amazed. "And what was that loud boom, boom sound?" Clint asked the looked up and down the road. "And I thought I saw a young man inside it," Clint added.

"Don't know. Some type of stagecoach," Merijildo then he saw the pieces of broken window glass on the road.

Clint looked confused while he looked down the road at the Civic.

Merijildo looked at the pieces of broken glass in the road. "They go that way," then pointed at the glass.

Clint looked at the direction he pointed.

They walked down the road and headed to Apache Junction.

Bart and Charlie rode their horses in the middle of the right lane into the outskirts of Apache Junction. They stopped and look around in awe and saw the Phoenix skyline off in the distance.

"I've never seen so many buildings. I don't recognize this place. Where are we?" Charlie asked while he looked around the area.

Cars raced up and down the road, which startled them.

"I don't know. But now there are hundreds of those fancy stagecoaches, and they're fast," Bart said while he looked at all the cars in amazement.

"Are we in hell?" Charlie asked scared that he will meet the devil.

Bart looked around. "Could be," Bart said.

Charlie patted his body down and looked for bullet holes.

"I don't recall being shot or dying," Charlie said while he looked around. "Unless that's what that strange blue light was. Us dying," he added.

"I don't know. Come, let's get the bandit and give hell a little more hell," Bart said not afraid one bit of being in hell.

Bart rode his horse off down the street. Charlie followed and looked intimidated of the future.

Clint and Merijildo walked down U.S. 60 and walked near Victor's ranch house. A sheriff's car drove down the road at them. Clint and Merijildo watched while the sheriff's car pulled into Victor's driveway.

"Deputy Sheriff? That's a fancy stagecoach for a sheriff. Where are we?" Clint asked.

"Arizona," Merijildo replied while they watched the deputy sheriff's car drive down Victor's driveway.

"This doesn't look like the Arizona I know. Where are we?" Clint asked and looked scared for the first time in his life.

"Arizona. We go ahead in time to future Arizona," Merijildo replied.

"What?" Clint asked not sure he heard him correctly.

"We go ahead in time," Merijildo said then walked down the road.

Clint looked at Merijildo baffled. He rushed up to him and grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

"What did you say?"

"We go ahead in time, I say one hundred years," Merijildo said then walked down the road.

A Hughes 500 helicopter flew nine hundred feet above them.

He looked up, and saw the copter. He ducked down and whipped out his pistol and cautiously eyed the Hughes while it flew away. "Wow!" Clint said while he watched the Hughes copter wondering if it was some type of strange future dangerous bird.

Clint dropped his pistol back in his holster and ran after Merijildo.

Back in Apache Junction, Bart and Charlie rode their horses down a street. Cars whizzed by them while some blew their horn. Bart and Charlie got use to the new sights of the future.

A Greyhound Bus whizzed by them, blew its horn and that scared the hell them.

"We better git off this fancy trail," Bart said.

They stopped their horses, got out of the saddles and walked them to the sidewalk.

People looked gave them dirty looks while they walked their horses down the sidewalk.

A woman, about thirty-five years old and her daughter, about seven years old walked down the sidewalk and approached Bart and Charlie.

Bart and Charlie walked over to the woman and her daughter.

"Ma'am, do you know John Mathers?" Bart asked the mother.

The daughter sniffed the air and caught a whiff of body odor from Bart and Charlie. Her face cringed over that awful smell of body odor.

The mother had this overwhelming feeling that something wasn't right with Bart, so she rushed her daughter away.

"That man really stinks!" the daughter said with a pinched off nose while her mother whisked her away for safety.

Bart and Charlie walked their horses down the sidewalk.

Their eyes lit up when they saw a sexy thirty-year-old woman. She wore shorts that showed off her tanned legs and a top that revealed her 36D cleavage and her protruding nipples proved she wasn't wearing a bra.

Their eyes popped out in shock when they saw her revealing cleavage. They removed their hats, spat in the palm of their hands and smoothed out their hair.

"Ma'am, do you know John Mathers?" Charlie asked while he glared at her breasts.

She stopped. "No. I never heard of him," she replied and noticed Charlie while he gawked at her breasts. She felt uncomfortable with his horny stares.

Bart and Charlie continued to gawk at her breasts. Charlie removed a gold coin from his pocket. He grabbed her hand and placed the coin in her palm. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened in disgust and she kneed Charlie in his crotch.

Charlie doubled over in pain and dropped to his knees.

She stormed off down the sidewalk.

"No saloon girl ever did that before!" Charlie said while he held his crotch and doubled over in pain.

Bart chuckled at the sight of Charlie on his knees. Then he looked across the street and saw the Wild Cactus saloon with six Harley Davidson motorcycles parked outside.

"Get up off your knees. I'm thirsty," Bart ordered Charlie.

Charlie stood up and saw the Wild Cactus Saloon. He smiled, as some whiskey sure would hit the spot right now.

Bart and Charlie, with a limp, walked their horses off the sidewalk.

Bart and Charlie walked their horses across the street, heading to the saloon. Cars screeched to a stop and almost crashing into each other.

The Wild Cactus saloon was a small bar that was mainly used by the Devil's Cowboys motorcycle gang. All members were in their late thirties and wore the standard sleeveless jean jackets with a cartoon of the devil in a cowboy hat with "Devil's Cowboys MC" embroidered below it. All six gang members had their heads shaved and that cartoon tattooed on their right biceps and under it was their name.

The members of this gang were, Bear, Jesse, Billy, Ringo (named after the famous outlaw Johnny Ringo), Rufus, and Butch. They all took names after notorious outlaws, except for Bear. He had that name because he's a big man and he's the leader, and that's what he wanted. Since Bear was the leader, he was the only one allowed to have cell phone.

The Devil's Cowboys was a fairly new gang that Bear started ten years ago, as he didn't want to work for Corporate America. They made their money from petty crimes and have three girls they prostitute out once in a while when money was low. But their bark was worse than their bite, and they were always in the market for a new adventure.

Some of the Devil's Cowboys played pool while the other sat and drank beer while they watched the thirty-inch HDTV that hung behind the bar.

A lonely man, seventy-four years old, drank beer alone at a table off against the wall.

After they tied their horses to a light pole, Bart and Charlie entered the Wild Cactus.

It was quiet while the entire Devil's Cowboys watched as Bart and Charlie entered the saloon, walked over and sat down at the bar.

Bart and Charlie looked around the saloon. Then they saw the TV behind the bar and stared at it in disbelief.

"Bart, look at that box up on the wall with that window. How did those people get inside?"

Bart looked at the TV and tried to figure out an answer. "Maybe that's your punishment for pissing off the Devil!" he said.

Charlie nervously looked around the bar. "I hope the devil doesn't come in here. I don't want to end up in that box and have people stare at me," he said.

Jake the bartender, seventy years old with tattoos all over his arms, long gray hair in a ponytail and beard walked up to Bart and Charlie.

"Bottle of whiskey," Bart told Jake.

"Is Jack Daniels, okay?" Jake asked.

"I guess so. As long as it's whiskey," Bart replied.

Jake walked down the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from behind the bar along with two shot glasses. He walked back to Bart and Charlie. He laid the bottle and glasses on the bar.

Bart removed an 1880 silver dollar from his pocket and set it on the bar.

Jake picked up the silver dollar, and he saw the date. He noticed the coin was in mint condition. Jake smiled and shoved the coin in his pocket. He planned to sell this coin at the nearest coin shop and make a nice little profit.

Bart looked at the Devil's Cowboys. "I'm looking for John Mathers alias the Kissing Bandit. Have you seen him?" Bart asked them.

The Devil's Cowboys ignored Bart.

"There's a John Mathers that supplies the bar with snacks," Jake said.

"Do you know where I can find him?" Bart said with a smile that he's closing in on John.

"He works for the Western Snacks and Vending Company. It's located ten blocks straight down the street," the bartender replied and pointed in the direction of where John's company was located.

Bart and Charlie looked where he pointed.

Bart poured two shots of whiskey.

Bear got up from his table with his beer bottle in hand.

He walked over and sat down by Bart to intimidate him. Bear's legal name was Harold Thomas hence why he insists he's called Bear. He's a big pot-bellied man about forty-five years old, and his arms were full of tattoos. Jake was Bear's father, and that's why the Devil's Cowboys hung out at this bar.

Bart eyed the tattoos on Bear's arms, and he got curious and touched one.

Bear got pissed. "You want to kiss me next?"

Bart got pissed and whipped out his pistol from his holster. He shoved the barrel in Bear's mouth.

"I hate bad mouth scoundrels with Indian drawings on their body," Bart growled at Bear.

Bear looked cross-eyed at the barrel shoved in his mouth. He silently prayed that he couldn't be killed.

"Sorry," Bear said with a muffled sound.

Bart removed his pistol out of Bear's mouth and dropped it in his holster.

Bear looked relieved. Behind them, that lonely man walked by them and headed to the bathroom.

"Is this Hell?" Bart asked Bear.

Bear chuckled. "It gets hot as hell sometimes, but no, it's Phoenix," he said.

"Eighteen eighty-three Phoenix?" Charlie asked.

Bear looked a little surprised Charlie asked that question. He used his fingers to do some counting. "No. Like over one hundred years later, Phoenix," Bear replied, as he couldn't perform the math in his head or with the use of his fingers.

Bart and Charlie looked at each other, and then it dawned on them!

"We're in the future?" Bart and Charlie said at the same time then gulped down their shots of whiskey. They looked around the bar and thought the future was cool.

Bart and Charlie place their glasses on the bar and Charlie poured two more shots.

"I'm Bart Stone, and he's Charlie Chandler," Bart told Bear.

"I'm Bear, leader of the Devil's Cowboys gang," he replied.

"Devil's Cowboys. I like that name," Bart said.

"Bartender, where's the outhouse?" Charlie asked.

The Devil's Cowboys laughed at Charlie.

"It's over there," Jake said then pointed to the bathrooms at the end of the bar.

Bart and Charlie got up and all eyes in the bar were on them while they walked in that direction.

Bart and Charlie entered the men's room and saw the urinals.

The lonely old man stood at the urinal.

Bart and Charlie saw him and walked over curious. They each stood by the man's side and peeked inside the urinal. The man got extremely uncomfortable. He rushed his business then quickly zipped up his pants. He flushed then raced out of the bathroom.

Charlie stared at the urinal. He touched the handle.

"Watch this Bart!" Charlie said then flushed the toilet.

"Yeehaw!" Charlie yelled out. "Ain't this some fancy outhouse?" Charlie said.

Bart laughed while Charlie continued to flush the urinal numerous times.

They stopped and they relieved themselves in the urinals.

"Ain't this something? We don't have to pee in the dirt," Charlie said.

All eyes were on Bart and Charlie when they came out of the bathroom and walked back to the bar.

"Bartender, two bottles of whiskey for my new friends here," Bart said then reached in his pocket and set two silver dollars on the bar.

All the Devil's Cowboys jumped and cheered. They all rushed over to Bart and Charlie.

It was sunset and Clint and Merijildo stood at the outskirts of Apache Junction. Clint looked lost, yet in awe at the sight of the modern city.

Cars whizzed up and down the road by them.

"Look at all the fancy buildings," Clint said.

"The future look fun," Merijildo added impressed with what he saw.

"Which way do you think they went?" Clint asked.

Merijildo looked down at the road and saw some remnants of dirt horse tracks on the road. "They go that way," he said and pointed down the street.

Back at the Wild Cactus saloon, Bart and Charlie were arm in arm with the Devil's Cowboys all drunk.

"De Camptown Ladies sing this song, Doo-da, Doo-da," they all sang.

They stopped and Bear raised his beer bottle in the air. "I at this moment proclaim to hold votes later on our time traveling friends, Bart Stone and Charlie Chandler, on becoming members of the best gang in all the world!" he yelled out.

All the Devil's Cowboys cheered in agreement. Then they all took a drink from their beer bottles.

"De Camptown racetrack's five miles long, Oh, de doo-da day," they sang out loud.

Back in John's apartment, he stared at the TV while he watched the Comedy Central channel. For the first time in years, he didn't have the stomach to watch an old western movie. He looked depressed, as he wanted to make up with Angie.

He turned off the TV and got off the couch. He walked down the hallway to his bedroom.

He walked to the door and wore sneakers instead of cowboy boots.

He left his apartment.

He drove his Mustang to a nearby Circle K. He went inside and bought a dozen red roses.

He got back inside his Mustang and drove away.

He drove to Angie's apartment, complex, and parked.

He was nervous when he walked to Angie's apartment building, which was visible from the lot.

He walked and stood by her apartment door. He knocked on her door. The door opened and Angie appeared. John handed Angie the dozen of roses.

"I'm so sorry, Angie. I'm done with this outlaw stuff," he said with a serious look.

"Okay, let's talk," Angie said and let John in her apartment.

Back at the Wild Cactus Saloon, Bart and Charlie exited drunk. They walked over to the light poles and untied their horses, and got in their saddles. Bart removed his pistol from his holster. He raised it in air and fired off a shot.

People on the sidewalk ducked and ran for cover. A man with a video camera saw this as an opportunity and filmed Bart and Charlie.

"Yeehaw! Kissing Bandit! We're coming to kill ya!" Bart yelled out then he fired his pistol in the air again.

Charlie fired his pistol in the air.

People hugged the sidewalk for protection from the gunfire.

The Devil's Cowboys watched from the windows of the Wild Cactus Saloon, and they looked proud of Bart and Charlie.

Bart and Charlie rode their horses down the street. They weaved in and around the cars that were stopped because of the gunfire.

They rode alongside a Nissan Quest mini-van.

In the backseat of the van, a boy, seven years old wore a cowboy outfit with a cap gun. The boy's eyes widened when he saw Bart and Charlie. He aimed his cap pistol at them. "Bang! Bang! Shoot the bad guys," the boy said.

His mother turned around smiled, as she thought it was cute when he pretended to be the old western Marshal.

Bart and Charlie rode their horses ten blocks down the street.

They rode into the empty parking lot of the Western Snacks and Vending Company, and they rode their horses to the front entrance. They got out of their saddles and tied the reins to a small tree by the front glass door.

Bart and Charlie walked to the front door. Bart tried to open it, butt it was locked.

"The door is broken," Charlie said.

Bart peeked in the glass door and saw the inside was dark and void of people.

"The place is empty inside. They're closed," Bart said. "We'll try first thing in the morning again," Bart added.

"Good, I'm tired anyway," Charlie said and yawned. "Where can we sleep?" Charlie added.

Bart looked around. "We'll camp at the back of this building. We'll get the Kissing Bandit first thing in the morning," he said.

They untied their horses and walked them down the side then to the rear of the building. There were the snack semi-vans parked.

They saw a dumpster and tied their horses to it.

Charlie's stomach growled. "I'm starving, Bart."

Bart looked at the dumpster and something seemed interesting. He walked over and opened up the lid. He peeked inside, and he smiled. He reached inside and removed a box that had assorted packages of vending machine snacks that have passed the expiration dates.

They sat down by the building and had a feast of stale honey buns, potato chips, peanut butter crackers and peanuts.

It was nighttime when Clint and Merijildo walked up to the Wild Cactus Saloon. Merijildo stopped and sniffed the air while he looked around. Clint walked up to him.

"They were here," Merijildo said.

"How can you tell? This place has strange smells," Clint said.

"Horse turds," Merijildo said and pointed to the light pole where two piles of horse poop were on the sidewalk.

Clint saw the turds. "That's why you're a famous tracker," he said in a jokingly manner. He looked at the Wild Cactus Saloon. "Knowing Bart's love for whiskey, they probably went in there," Clint said.

They entered the saloon.

The Devil's Cowboys got instantly quiet when they saw Clint and Merijildo enter the bar. They placed their beers on their tables and watched them walk to the bar. They noticed Clint's Marshal's badge and got very suspicious.

Clint and Merijildo looked at the Devil's Cowboys while they sat down at the bar.

"What strange tribe are they? Me never hear of a tribe that looks like that," Merijildo asked Clint.

"I don't know, but they do look scary," Clint replied while he glanced at the Devil's Cowboys. "I don't trust them," Clint added.

They saw the TV behind the bar, and Clint pointed at it in amazement. "Look how small those people are in that little box," he said.

Merijildo looked at the TV in amazement. Then he wondered how the future should make people so small and why would we want to watch their lives.

Jake walked up to them.

"I'm Marshal Bartley, and I'm looking for Bart Stone, Charlie Chandler, and John Mathers, who calls himself the Kissing Bandit," Clint asked.

"Never heard of them," Jake replied without any hesitation.

Jake left and went inside a back room behind the bar.

Clint turned around and looked at the Devil's Cowboys.

"Do any of you know," Clint started to ask.

"No!" Bear yelled out interrupting Clint.

Clint felt threatened and elbowed Merijildo that they should leave. He nodded that he agreed and they both got off the bar stools.

The Devil's Cowboys watched while Clint and Merijildo left the bar.

Outside the saloon, Clint and Merijildo looked around the area.

"I have a strong hunch that Bart and Charlie will come back in the morning," Clint said.

"We find a camp to sleep," Merijildo said.

They looked around the area for a safe place to bed down for the night.

In John's apartment, he started to remove some of his old western items off the wall. He placed them in a box and hoped to sell them at an antique store.

He looked at the rest of the items and decided to finish the rest at a later day. His talk with Angie smoothed things over and he swore that his old western outlaw fascination days were finally over. Of course, he didn't tell her about the death of Elmer Filson.

Hours later behind the Western Snacks and Vending Company, Bart and Charlie slept on cardboard boxes they flattened.

In an empty lot behind the Wild Cactus Saloon, Clint and Merijildo slept in the dirt.

John lay in bed and stared at the ceiling of his apartment. He looked at the cloth bag that still contained the stolen loot from the Oak Creek bank. He decided that he would take care of that in the morning. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.