CHAPTER TWO
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Joshua woke. The blankets were twisted around his legs as if he had wrestled them in his sleep, and Dr. Calloway sat beside the bed. “We’re going to have to try a slower, more traditional approach,” he said.
Joshua closed his eyes and smiled wryly. “Apparently.”
He slept again, not quite as deep, the meds wearing off. He dreamt he was marching in a black-clad military squad, his feet keeping perfect cadence with hundreds of other soldiers. Their heels hit a slick white floor, the sound echoing in a large room. He turned with them, all of them moving as one. He almost felt as if he no longer had his own body, that his mind simply rested in it and observed. The soldiers stopped and drew out plasma guns. He heard the hum of the charges, like a hive of bees. They powered them down and the hum subsided. Then he marched again.
Coming out of the dream, he heard sounds through the wall—medics talking about him, other patients’ whispers, and more importantly, reports about the accident. They’d found four bodies, he heard a female medic say. The only survivor was the young kid with altered red eyes.
He sat up. The night of the crash, security officers showed him pictures of four strangers, but he didn’t know who they were. They must have been the crew. Had the accident been his fault? He closed his eyes, trying to remember something, anything. Was he a criminal? His imagination ran wild, conjuring scenes of violence and destruction and then trying to find a reason why he wouldn’t be responsible for any of it.
Disturbed, he slid out of the bed. He found the window controls and cleared the dark glass to reveal the blue mountains. He didn’t remember seeing any bodies, but he hadn’t looked for them either.
A knock sounded at his door.
“Come in,” he said.
A smiling young woman in a medic uniform peeked her head in. “You’re awake!”
“Yep,” he answered, tugging at the clothes they’d given him, which were rumpled. He definitely looked like a patient.
“Would you mind a visitor?” she asked.
“No one knows me.”
She looked behind her and then back at him. “Well, there’s a young girl who says she met you in the lobby.”
Remembering the girl who had taken his picture, he answered, “Oh yeah, sure.”
Stepping into the room with her mother, the girl gazed around his hospital room, her small, delicate face and green eyes shy. Her mother wore her silver-streaked dark hair swept back in a loose knot, and gold jewelry on her fingers and around her neck.
The girl tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Hi. We heard you were still in the hospital so we thought we’d come by. Have you had any news about your family?”
“No,” he said, unsure of what else to say and certain that a detailed description of his reaction to the memory enhancing meds would be too much information.
Caina shared a look with her mother that probably meant something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. Even if they don’t find them I’m sure I’ll remember.” He glanced down at her hand. “How is your cut?”
She held out the lightly bandaged finger. “Pretty good. Want to see? They glued it together.”
“Sure.”
She pulled the wrapping back to reveal a neatly sealed cut. He towered over her, looking down at the tidy repair.
“Wow. That’s good. Does it hurt?”
“Nope. They gave me some stuff.”
Her mother said, “I hope you don’t mind us checking up on you.”
“Oh no, it’s nice to have visitors, actually. I haven’t had anyone else stop by. No one knows who I am.”
She held out her hand. “I didn’t introduce my self earlier. My name is Jenna West. We’d like to help you find your family if you don’t mind the intrusion—my husband has a lot of contacts with the other colonies.”
The offer surprised him. He had no idea where to start, and he could use the help. “Thank you, I would like that.”
“Dad knows everyone. If anyone can find your family, it’s him,” Caina said, her pride in her father obvious.
Joshua wondered what his own father was like and if he was searching for him. “I appreciate it,” he said.
Caina smiled. “Great. And if you ever get a ‘wrist thing’ we can talk.”
“Ok. If I do, I will.”
After they left, he sat next to the window. It would be nice if they meant it. No one else seemed to care. That wasn’t entirely fair, he realized. Most of them were people doing their jobs. He sighed. It was so strange to feel like this, so disconnected, as if he didn’t belong anywhere or to anyone, but he knew someone must be worried about him somewhere.
He spent days with Dr. Calloway trying to coax anything out of his mind, not just memories but maybe familiar scents, tastes, music and even abstract things like colors. Anxiety gnawed at him as he reached for any kind of memory, but it didn’t feel like a wall he could break through. The amnesia stretched out like a vast space, a great black hole of nothing. It felt so absolute. He fought the suspicion that there were no memories to find. He had a past, he reminded himself.
The crash itself was a mystery. The craft had no markings, not even a manufacturer. The four crew who had died had no ID’s and like Joshua, they matched no database in any planetary system. None of their belongings gave any indication of where they were from, including their clothes, though it looked they had all worn uniforms. These were not renegades or pirates. They had belonged to an organization or a colony of some kind. Joshua was the only survivor and the only hope of learning anything.
One week later, despite their efforts, they made no progress with his memory. Whatever Joshua’s mind had locked away, it had sealed it very well. The origins of the crew and the craft remained unknown, as did his past.
Mrs. West’s offer of help was all he had left, but he hadn’t heard from them and assumed they’d forgotten him.
Driven by loneliness, he twisted holomaps around trying to find a solar system that felt familiar. Planets with two suns, giant red suns, blue dwarfs, old stars, and ringed planets; he stayed up late at night searching the universe. One night he became mesmerized with one sun system in particular. Weary from staring at so many, but excited that he recognized one, he zoomed in on the name of the planet that looked familiar. Huron. He paused, and then smiled to himself. He’d landed on Huron, near the Remington colony. So he recognized where he already was. The comfort of being able to trust his memory eased some of the aching loneliness. If he made new memories now he could be assured they would stay with him.